5 Ways to Plan for the Holidays After the Death of a Loved One

This is a loaded topic, but since its December, Im going to take on holiday gift-giving. Gulp. My approach to gift giving has dramatically changed since Ive become a professional organizer. Why? Because gifts are one of the biggest clutter challenges for my clients.I dont really like this, but it was a gift and I feel guilty about letting go of it. I dont want this, but my Mom gave it to me and Im afraid shell ask about it the next time she comes over. Someone bought me this expensive item, but its just not my style. These are sentiments I hear from clients over and over. After I saw how often gifts the clients not only didnt give them joy, they actually created a negative effect of adding guilt, stress, and clutter, I realized I needed to change my personal approach to holiday gifting. I want to shared what Ive learned with you in the hopes that youll feel more confident both as a gift-giver and recipient.  Sooo many giftsHow did we get here?First of all, I want to say that this post isnt about being a Grinch or not giving gifts. I love giving gifts and a world without gifts would be a sad one.At the same time, we live in a culture where there is an incredible pressure to buy lots of gifts, particularly around Christmas. So much so that 47% of Americans surveyed expect to go into debt for holiday gift-giving, travel, or both, this year. And so many people are already overwhelmed with belongings. Eleven percent of Americans rent storage units to store extra stuff. Now that I see much stress gifts create for both givers and receivers, I think its time for a different approach to gifts.  Realize the change starts with youBefore we get into strategies, its important to acknowledge that you only have control over your own gift giving behavior. Yup, thats right. You cant stop your mother-in-law or your aunt Suzy from wrapping up LOL dolls or vanilla-scented candles if thats the way they are hell-bent on showing their love. I often hear my younger clients say things like I ask my parents to gift my kids experiences like museum tickets, but they just keep buying plastic toys. Honestly, Im not surprised by that. Buying tons of stuff to show our families that we love them at certain times of the year has become so culturally ingrained that many people feel its mandatory. And for gift givers, gifting something intangible is a change from the tradition of handing someone a wrapped box. Its going to take a bigger cultural change before more people feel comfortable gifting differently. Over the years, Ive realized that although I cant change other peoples behaviors around gifting, I can change the way I give gifts.  How Ive changed my approach to giftingBefore I became an organizer, I felt obligated to buy holiday gifts for every party and event I went to. At times, I fell into the trap of buying things I liked or that seemed really nice to me (like an expensive pair of earrings or bottle of wine) but the recipient didnt actually care about. Other times, I found gifts that I knew were lame, but I bought them anyway because I didnt want to show up empty-handed, or I couldnt afford what the person really wanted. I dont do those things anymore. Ive tried to be a more mindful gift-giver by: Opting out of gift exchanges that are less meaningful to me, or where I cant gift a specific recipient, like office Secret Santas or Yankee Swaps. Pausing and asking Am I picking this item to impress the recipient, or because they will really love it? If Im picking something to show off my own taste, I rein myself in. Buying and giving gifts whenever I find the right one, regardless of if theres a holiday or occasion. That way, I dont feel pressure to buy something thats not great just because its a holiday. Giving cash in a nice greeting card. Its not the most exciting gift to give, but Ive never heard someone say they didnt like cash. More ideas for clutter-free giftingIf you love giving gifts, but the people on your list already seem to have everything (or say I dont need anything), you can still gift in a way thats clutter-free. My fellow NAPO organizer Kimberly Corey recently wrote a great blog post full of clutter-free gift ideas, including everything from concert tickets to car detailing (Santa, if youre reading this, Id love to have someone detail my truck :) In addition to all of Kimberlys great ideas, another intangible gift I love is a gift subscription to an online publication so your loved one can read articles without the paywall. What about gift cards? Gift cards can be tricky. Some people love them, but many of them go unused or end up with a balance. I think a gift card to a retailer you know the recipient regularly shops with or to a restaurant you know they love (or would love to try) is a great gift. Otherwise, I would go with cash. I have had more and more clients ask for organizing gift cards over the years, so I do offer several organizing gift cards. These are a great option if your loved one already works with me, or has expressed interest in working with a professional organizer. (Otherwise, it might seem passive aggressive.) The greatest giftIt may seem cliche, but never underestimate the gift of your time and presence. Calling a friend, spending an afternoon with your parents, engaging in something silly with your kidsthese are the gifts they will truly cherish. I wish you a wonderful and joyful holiday season!

What Happens When You Call Hospice? Understanding the Hospice Admission ProcessCalling hospice for the first time can feel intimidating.Families often don't know what questions to ask or what happens after they make the call.Understanding the process can make the decision feel much less overwhelming.Step One: Make the CallThe hospice process generally begins with a phone call.You don't have to have all the answers before calling.Doctors Hospice of Idaho explains that referrals and questions can come from physicians, nurses, caregivers, patients, family members, friends, or neighbors. The purpose of the first conversation is to understand the situation and determine what questions need to be answered.Step Two: An Evaluation Takes PlaceAfter a referral, members of the hospice team meet with the patient and family.Doctors Hospice of Idaho explains that a registered nurse and social worker may visit the patient and family to evaluate the situation, explain hospice services, answer questions, and address concerns. The treating physician is also involved in verifying that hospice is appropriate. Step Three: The Family Gets AnswersThis is an important part of the process.Families can ask questions such as:What services does hospice provide?Where can hospice care take place?Who will be part of the hospice team?What happens if symptoms change?How does hospice support caregivers?What does hospice cost?Will insurance cover hospice?There are no "silly" questions when you're making decisions about someone's care.Step Four: A Care Plan Is DevelopedHospice care is individualized.The team works with the patient, family, and physicians to develop a plan that addresses the patient's needs and preferences.Doctors Hospice of Idaho emphasizes patient choice and family involvement in care and decision-making. How Quickly Can Hospice Begin?Families sometimes assume hospice admission takes days or weeks.Doctors Hospice of Idaho states that hospice services can generally begin within approximately four hours after referral when hospice is determined to be appropriate. The organization also describes an urgent admission option for critical situations, with a hospice team member able to respond within approximately two hours after receiving a physician's order. Because individual circumstances vary, families should contact the hospice directly to understand what can be provided in their particular situation.What If We're Already in a Crisis?Don't assume it's too late to call.Doctors Hospice of Idaho specifically emphasizes that hospice remains an option even when a family finds itself in an urgent or unexpected situation. Sometimes hospice involvement begins very close to the end of life.Even then, the hospice team can focus on comfort, symptom management, and supporting the family.Calling Hospice Doesn't Mean You Have to Know EverythingPerhaps the most important thing families should know is that they don't have to navigate the process alone.If you're wondering whether hospice is appropriate, ask questions.A conversation with a hospice professional can help you understand eligibility, services, care options, and what the next steps might look like. Doctors Hospice of Idaho is available to help families understand hospice and make informed decisions.

Hospice Is More Than End-of-Life Care: Supporting Patients and FamiliesWhen people hear the word "hospice," they often immediately think about death.While hospice does provide end-of-life care, that definition doesn't capture the entire purpose of hospice.Hospice is also about livingliving as comfortably, meaningfully, and intentionally as possible during an especially important chapter of life.Hospice Focuses on the Person, Not Just the DiagnosisA serious illness can affect every part of someone's life.Physical symptoms are only one piece of the picture.A patient may also experience: Fear Anxiety Loneliness Spiritual concerns Family stress Financial concerns Changes in independence Difficulty communicating wishes Concerns about unfinished business Doctors Hospice of Idaho describes hospice as a holistic approach that addresses physical, emotional, practical, and spiritual needs. The Hospice TeamOne of the most valuable aspects of hospice is the team approach.At Doctors Hospice of Idaho, patients and families can receive support from an interdisciplinary team that includes physicians, nurses, social workers, chaplains, home health aides, volunteers, and bereavement professionals. This allows different professionals to focus on different aspects of care.Hospice Supports Caregivers, TooFamily caregivers often put their own needs aside.They may spend months or even years helping a spouse, parent, or other loved one with medications, meals, transportation, bathing, appointments, and household responsibilities.Eventually, caregiver exhaustion can become significant.Hospice can provide education, support, personal care assistance, social and emotional resources, and respite through appropriate services.This doesn't mean the family is stepping away.It means the family doesn't have to carry the entire responsibility alone.Spiritual and Emotional SupportEnd-of-life experiences can raise profound questions.Patients and families may think about faith, relationships, forgiveness, memories, regrets, legacy, and what comes next.Hospice chaplains can provide spiritual support based on the individual's preferences and beliefs.Social workers can help with emotional and practical concerns.This whole-person approach is an important part of hospice care. Hospice Can Help Families Make MemoriesSometimes families become so focused on managing an illness that they forget to simply be together.Hospice can help shift some of that focus.Instead of every conversation being about medications, appointments, or symptoms, families may have more opportunity to talk, reminisce, laugh, listen to music, look through photographs, or simply spend time together.Those moments can become lasting memories.Hospice Continues Supporting Families After a LossThe relationship doesn't necessarily end when the patient dies.Doctors Hospice of Idaho provides bereavement support for families following a loss, including grief counseling and resources. Its bereavement program maintains contact with families for up to 13 months after the patient's death. Grief is different for everyone.Having compassionate support can help families understand that their emotions are a normal part of the grieving process.Hospice Is About Quality of LifeHospice does not erase the difficulty of a serious illness.But it can help patients and families navigate that difficult time with greater support.At Doctors Hospice of Idaho, the goal is to honor patient choices while providing compassionate care with dignity and respect. Hospice is about caring for the whole personand the people who love them.