As our parents age, the primary questions adult children face are (1) who is going to provide needed care, and (2) in what setting will mom or dad receive the needed care. Coming to such decisions does not always mean smooth sailing moving forward. Family members often view care issues very differently and conflicts can be further complicated when one of the siblings is the primary caregiver. Our team members find such conflicts to be quite common in their work with our clients and families. The situations are stressful and charged with emotion, worry, and exhaustionthe perfect storm for conflict and family duress.As I reflect on the meetings and consultations I have had with some of these families recently, I suspect that part of the problem is the fact that the aging parents failed to verbalizeearly and oftentheir wishes and desires related to the what if scenarios. Because their folks did not talk openly about their wishes and expectations, the adult children are often forced to guess what Mom and Dad would have wantedanother perfect storm for differences of opinion and sibling conflicts.If you have not already done so, commit to conversing with your adult children about the what ifs. Let them know your wishes and preferences. Consider the effort to be your conflict prevention plan, so that down the road, you and yours wont have to engage in conflict resolution. And be sure to have a formal caregiver agreement drafted if a family member becomes the paid caregiver. It is an important tool for many reasons, including clarifying the financial parameters of the care being provided. Doing so will prevent misunderstandings between those you love most. Open, honest communication is always the key, and we recommend it early and often in these situations.

A living, or intervivos, trust may be revocable or irrevocable, and it may be funded or unfunded. A funded living trust is an alternative to a will and to probate. In a funded living trust, a person (the settlor) puts property and money into his/her trust during his/her lifetime for the benefit of him/her and possibly other family members. An unfunded living trust typically receives assets through a simple pour-over will following the settlors death.Most people who are able to handle their own financial affairs usually name themselves as trustee of revocable trusts they set up. The trustee invests the trust assets and makes the assets and income available to the settlor/beneficiary during his or her life. Such a trust is almost always revocable, meaning that the settlor can revoke or amend the trust so long as he or she is able.If the settlor/beneficiary becomes disabled, alternate trustees are usually named in the trust to assume trustee responsibilities, the most important of which is providing for the financial needs of the disabled settlor/beneficiary. A settlor will usually name a spouse, adult child, relative, friend or a bank as alternate trustees. When the settlor/beneficiary dies, the trust often terminates, and the successor trustee will distribute the trust property to the beneficiaries, as under a will. In many situations, however, living trusts will continue for the benefit of the settlors spouse and children.A living trust has several advantages if it is set up properly and fully-funded, meaning all the settlors assets are placed in trust. First, a fully-funded trust can reduce or eliminate the need for probate upon the death of the settlor. Second, a Colorado resident who owns real property in another state can put that real estate into a living trust and thereby reduce or eliminate the need for probate in the other state. Third, a living trust may avoid the need for a conservatorship for the settlor if he or she becomes legally disabled. However, a living trust cannot avoid a guardianship, because the trustee of a living trust cannot make medical or care decisions for the settlor unless the trustee is the named agent for the settlor under a separate Medical Power of Attorney. (See Chapter 6 for more information on guardianships and Health Care Powers of Attorney.)Many people think they need a fully-funded living trust so that probate is not necessary when they die. In some states, the probate process is cumbersome and costly, and it is thus desirable to avoid that process. In Colorado, however, probate is relatively simple and avoiding probate is not, by itself, a good reason to have a fully-funded, living trust.Trusts are complex legal documents that require the use of competent and experienced estate planning attorneys. Preparing and managing the trust can be more expensive in Colorado than a will and probate. If the trust is not drafted correctly, significant harmful tax results may occur. You should not try to create your own trust or purchase a preprinted living trust. Initially, living trusts and wills with testamentary trusts are more expensive to prepare than wills without trusts. However, they may save you many thousands of dollars if you have a complex estate. Bob Frie and Paul Danborn in our office would be more than happy to discuss with you if you would benefit from a Living Trust.  Please call our office to discuss this with them.

PaperworkPaperworkWhat Should I keep? Sorting through the paperwork of a deceased loved one is a daunting task. It is important to know what to keep and what to discard. Here are some helpful tips.  Deeds, Titles and Vehicle RegistrationsDeeds and titles to property may not be obvious on the face of the document so it is important to read everything carefully. Keep anything that has a legal description (Lots and Blocks or Metes and Bounds), a vehicle identification number (VIN), contains the word title, deed of trust or warranty deed.  ReceiptsSome property does not have a title such as a tractor, farm equipment or certain recreational equipment. In such cases, keep the purchase receipts for this type of property. It will be useful if there is a question about ownership, the value of the property or the date it was purchased.  Bank RecordsSave all bank records and statements. These will be valuable if a dispute arises about ownership of an account, payments or distributions made from the account and to whom. Shred unused checks.  Retirement AccountsSave all statements and records pertaining to the decedents individual retirement accounts (IRAs), 401(k) plans or pension plans.  Life Insurance PoliciesSave all life insurance policies.  Social Security Paperwork and Earning StatementsSave information about the decedents Social Security account or earning statements.  Cancel the Decedents Credit Card Accounts Nowadays, identity theft is a huge issue. Contact Experian, Equifax and TransUnion to report the death of your loved one. Request the credit report be flagged as Deceased. Being proactive prevents a lot of hassle later on.  Cancel all credit cards in the deceased persons name. Also, there may be questions about the credit card purchase of certain items or property. Save credit card statements until probate of the decedents estate is complete.  Documents that contain the decedents Social Security NumberIf you find any documents with the decedents Social Security Number and you make a determination that the documents are not going to be saved, make sure it all gets shredded.  Tax RecordsKeep the decedents tax records. There may be a question about real property valuation, exemption or other issues that can be resolved by information in a tax return.   Loan PaperworkKeep all loan paperwork including loans on property or a loan the decedent made to a relative, friend, individual or organization. This may show that there is outstanding debt or money owed to the decedents estate.  Business AgreementsSometimes people have business agreements that have been documented in writing. Such agreements may contain a succession plan, what should happen with business equipment or property, or what should happen upon the death of a business partner.  Military RecordsSave all military records just in case there are benefits owed to a survivor such as a spouse, dependent child or disabled child. Some benefits are dependent upon verification of military service during war time which occurred prior to the advent of computer records. This includes photographs taken during wartime.  Birth and Marriage CertificatesSave all birth and marriage certificates. Again, for certain benefits for survivors, such certificates may be needed.  Timeframe for Keeping PaperworkIt is advisable to keep these potentially important documents until the estate of the decedent is settled, at a minimum. Otherwise keep them at least seven years and longer if possible, especially if real estate is involved.  Contact Your AttorneyYour attorney will ask you pertinent questions and give you advice about what records to keep.  You should also review your own estate plan documents to make sure they are up to date and reflect your current wishes.  This article was written by Donna A. Schuyler, Attorney, who practices in the areas of estate planning, elder law, guardianship, and probate. Donna Schuyler Law, PLLC; elderlawboise.com. Phone 208-344-1947