Memory loss is a sensitive topic that
can be challenging to address, especially with someone you care deeply about.
Whether it’s a parent, a friend, or a partner showing signs of forgetfulness,
knowing how to talk about it is crucial. In this blog, we’ll explore strategies
for approaching these delicate conversations with empathy and understanding.
You’ll find practical tips to guide you, making the discussion more comfortable
for both you and your loved one.
Understanding
Memory Loss
Memory loss isn’t just about
forgetting where you put your keys. It can range from minor forgetfulness to
more serious issues, such as Alzheimer’s disease. Recognizing the signs is the
first step in addressing the concern. Noticeable changes might include
repeating questions, misplacing items frequently, or struggling to follow
conversations. Understanding these symptoms can help you approach the situation
more knowledgeably.
Open conversations about memory loss
are crucial because they can lead to early diagnosis and treatment. Ignoring
these signs can result in further deterioration and missed opportunities for
support. By discussing memory concerns early, you provide a foundation for
exploring medical advice and therapeutic interventions that might mitigate the
impact.
Memory loss affects millions
worldwide, with approximately 47 million people living with
dementia globally. The numbers highlight the importance of
discussing memory concerns openly. The earlier these talks happen, the better
chance your loved one has of maintaining their quality of life.
Preparing for the
Conversation
Before you initiate a conversation
about memory loss, preparation is key. Decide what you aim to achieve from the
conversation. Is it to express concern, gather information, or suggest seeking
professional help? Having a clear purpose will guide the discussion and help
maintain focus. It also ensures you approach the topic with sensitivity,
focusing on their well-being rather than your fears.
Reflect on the specific incidents or
behaviors that have raised your concern. Being able to reference specific
events or examples can help to make the conversation more productive.
Choosing the right time and place is
also essential. A calm, quiet environment where your loved one feels
comfortable is ideal. Avoid crowded or noisy locations that could cause
distractions or stress. Consider their mood and schedule the discussion when
they’re likely to be relaxed and receptive.
Starting the Conversation with Empathy
Empathy is your ally when discussing
memory loss. Begin with gentle, caring language that prioritizes their feelings
and comfort. Use “I” statements, such as “I’ve noticed you seem to be more
forgetful lately, and I’m concerned because I care about you.” This approach
minimizes defensiveness and opens the door to a supportive dialogue.
Showing genuine concern involves
active listening. Allow them to express their feelings, fears, and frustrations
without interruption. Validate their emotions by acknowledging their
experiences and offering reassurance. This builds trust and demonstrates that
you’re there to support them through this challenging time.
It’s important to strike a balance
between empathy and honesty. While you want to be gentle, you also need to be
clear about your observations. Share specific examples that highlight your
concerns, like remembering names or recalling recent events. While they
may have trouble remembering these events, this can help provide context for
the discussion and emphasizes the importance of addressing memory issues.
Addressing Their
Fears and Concerns
Memory loss can be frightening, and
your loved one may have fears about the future. It’s vital to provide
reassurance and support during this time. Reassure them that they’re not alone
and that you’re there to face these challenges together.
Encourage them to share their worries,
whether it’s about losing independence or being a burden to others. Listening
to their concerns without judgment shows that you’re there to support them
unconditionally. Acknowledge the validity of their fears and offer your
presence as a source of strength.
Discussing memory loss can be
overwhelming, so it’s helpful to break the conversation into manageable parts.
Address one concern at a time, allowing them to process information and respond
thoughtfully. This approach prevents them from feeling overwhelmed and keeps
the dialogue productive and focused.
Encouraging
Professional Evaluation
Suggesting a professional evaluation
can be a delicate subject. Approach it as a way to seek guidance rather than a
diagnosis. Frame it as an opportunity to learn more about their memory and
explore potential solutions together. This perspective makes the idea of seeing
a doctor less intimidating.
Explain the benefits of early diagnosis,
such as access to treatments, therapies, and support networks. Highlight that a
professional evaluation can provide valuable insights into their cognitive
health and offer peace of mind. Assure them that seeking help is a proactive
step toward understanding and managing memory concerns.
Offer to accompany them to medical
appointments and help with necessary arrangements. Your presence provides
emotional support and demonstrates your commitment to their well-being. It also
ensures that they’re not navigating this process alone.
Providing Ongoing
Support
Talking about memory loss is just the
beginning. Ongoing support is crucial as your loved one navigates their memory
concerns. Be there to listen, offer encouragement, and celebrate their
strengths and accomplishments.
Encourage them to engage in cognitive
activities that promote mental health, such as puzzles, reading, or memory
games. Physical exercise and a balanced diet also contribute to overall
well-being. Suggest activities you can enjoy together, making it a shared
experience that strengthens your bond.
Establish a routine for regular
check-ins, where you can discuss their progress and any new concerns. These
conversations reinforce your commitment to supporting them and provide an
opportunity to address any evolving needs.
Involving Other
Family Members
Memory loss affects not only the
individual but also their family and friends. Consider involving other family
members in the conversation to create a network of support. Having a
collaborative approach ensures that everyone is on the same page and can contribute
to decision-making. It also lightens the emotional burden on any single person
by distributing responsibilities among family members.
Family meetings provide an opportunity
to discuss concerns, set goals, and coordinate care. Encourage open dialogue
and respect each person’s perspective. By working together, you can provide a
more comprehensive support system for your loved one.
Exploring
Available Resources
Many resources are available to
support those dealing with memory loss and their families. Research local
organizations, support groups, and online communities that offer information,
guidance, and companionship.
Encourage your loved one to connect
with others facing similar challenges. Hearing stories and advice from peers
can provide comfort and reduce feelings of isolation. Community resources often
offer educational workshops, counseling, and social activities that enhance
quality of life.
Share relevant resources with your
loved one and offer to explore them together. This collaborative approach makes
the process less daunting and empowers them to take an active role in their
care.
Celebrating the
Present
While memory loss presents challenges,
it’s essential to celebrate the present and cherish the moments you share with
your loved one. Focus on creating positive experiences and building lasting
memories together.
Engage in activities that bring joy,
whether it’s a favorite hobby, a leisurely walk, or a shared meal. These
experiences foster connection and remind both of you of the meaningful
relationship you share.
Celebrate small victories and
milestones along their memory loss journey. Recognize their resilience,
courage, and achievements. These celebrations reinforce positivity and provide
motivation for the future.
Maintaining
Patience and Understanding
Memory loss is a gradual process that
requires patience and understanding. Situations may arise where your loved one
struggles to remember details or becomes frustrated with their limitations.
Approach these moments with compassion and offer gentle reminders when
necessary.
Understand that their emotions may
fluctuate, and they may experience feelings of sadness, anger, or confusion. Be
there to listen and offer a reassuring presence without trying to fix
everything immediately.
Remember that building trust and
maintaining a strong relationship takes time. Your consistent support and
understanding will make a significant difference in their experience and
well-being.
The Journey Ahead
Discussing memory loss with a loved
one is a complex and sensitive task. By approaching the conversation with
empathy, patience, and support, you can help them feel understood and valued.
Your commitment to their well-being will make a positive impact on their memory
loss journey.
Remember that you’re not alone in this
process. Reach out to professionals, support groups, and online communities for
guidance and companionship. Together, you can create a supportive network that
empowers your loved one to face memory challenges with confidence.
By fostering open communication and
providing ongoing support, you can help your loved one live a dignified and
fulfilling life, despite memory concerns.
Addressing memory loss with a loved one requires a thoughtful approach that balances empathy and honesty. By preparing for the conversation, providing ongoing support, and involving family members, you create a supportive environment that empowers your loved one to face memory challenges with confidence. Remember to celebrate the present, maintain patience, and explore available resources. Your dedication and care will make a meaningful difference in their memory loss journey. If you’re seeking further information or resources, check out our list of Reputable Resources. For more information contact us at 651-702-4663.
In health care settings, the body gets medical attention, but the mind and soul matter, too. Older adults in medical care face a battery of health questions, but too often the most consequential one goes unasked and unanswered: What does a good day look like for you today?Medicare requires people to receive a spiritual assessment within their first five days of admission into hospice. Many states allow a nurse to conduct the initial spiritual assessment, but I think it helps both the person and the health care provider for the assessment to be done with someone who has theological training. Many have been certified in clinical pastoral education, or CPE. Nurses can get so focused on the technical to-do lists of medical work the measurements, the tests, the drug regimens that it can be hard to make time for the issues that matter most to the living human, namely, their happiness, peace and contentment. As a spiritual care provider with 17 years in senior care facilities, and as a chaplain in the Army National Guard and Air Force National Guard, I have counseled hundreds of people in the final days of their lives. For older adults and their families, one of the most valuable resources is also little-known a Medicare option that provides spiritual counseling for people in hospice. Longing for ConversationToo often older adults in care are being talked at, not listened to. Many times, I've found that people in the last chapter of life want to discuss their path to the end more than their medical professionals and, especially, more than their loved ones. It often helps to have that discussion with a professional who is trained to hear them, and, if requested, to comfort and advise them. RecommendedOpinion: Why I Went on Hospice Even Though I'm Not Dying | Personal PerspectivesThe code of ethics for the leading chaplain and spiritual care associations all prohibit proselytizing. A spiritual care provider should be able to work with someone on their own terms, no matter their beliefs. The United States may be turning more secular, but the fact remains that older adults are the most faith-affiliated of any demographic age group.This initial spiritual meeting is likely to be about the basics: Is the person religious? What is their support system? Will a certain faith-based ritual bring meaning or comfort? Do they have a preferred faith leader? Or is a secular discussion a better fit for the person's beliefs?
One Sunday morning in early August, Irene woke up with a badly swollen knee. She thought about waiting until Monday to call her Lifespark Nurse Practitioner but was afraid that bacteria from an infected tooth had migrated to her artificial knee joint, something her orthopedic surgeon had warned her about. If left untreated, an infected joint could require additional surgeries, which is why she had taken prophylactic antibiotics before and after a recent dental procedure.The last thing Irene, 74, wanted was another surgery, but based on previous emergency room visits, she dreaded the thought of going to the ER. Youre sitting for hours next to people who are sick with the flu or COVID, when youre already not feeling well yourself, she said. The doctors are regular GPs [general practitioners] so theyd probably just run some tests and send me home with antibiotics, which Im already taking. She was also concerned about the $100 co-pay, adding that she lives in low-income housing and has limited financial resources.Instead, Irene called Urgent Response Services, Lifesparks 24-hour nurse triage line.Convenient, efficient, and trustedAs a member of Lifespark COMPLETE (LSC), Irene qualified for Urgent Response Services which provides acute-level care for members in their homes. Within minutes, Leah Castle, RN, BSN, Mobile Urgent Responder, was on her way, getting briefed by the triage nurse on Irenes concerns.Once at Irenes home, Leah logged onto the secure portal to access key client information, including Irenes health history, medications, allergies, support system, financial considerations, contingency plans, and goals of care. Having this level of detail at our fingertips helps us make more accurate, more efficient assessments, she said. It also gives us a more complete picture of the member, so we can offer recommendations that align with their goals and lifestyle.After taking Irenes vitals, she drew some blood, took a photo of the worrisome knee, and talked through her findings with the on-call provider. They were both confident that it wasnt a bacterial infection but would wait for the lab results for confirmation. Leah sent a note to Irenes COMPLETE team to schedule a follow-up for the next week. In the meantime, Irene was to continue the antibiotics, take a Tylenol every six hours, ice her knee, and keep the leg elevated as much as possible.Leah dropped off the blood samples at the hospital lab for processing, and in less than two hours, the on-call physician had the results. Leah called Irene to let her know that the labs were negative for systemic infection and that her inflammatory markers were within normal range.Irene was relieved. This was so much better than going to the ER, she said.Rule-outs and rule-insIn Leahs experience, older adults often go to the ER to make sure theres nothing seriously wrong. In fact, studies show that roughly 32% of hospital ER visits are non-urgent and unnecessary. As a Mobile Urgent Responder, shes able to rule out those non-emergencies, efficiently and effectively, from the persons home.That was the case with Irene: shes had both knees replaced and was very concerned that shed need more surgery, Leah said. We were able to put her at ease and assure her that we would continue to monitor and manage her symptoms from home. If there is something to be concerned about, Leah added, the Mobile Urgent Response team is able rule in the need for emergency care.Building on career experienceHaving the confidence to make quick, accurate assessments and communicate them to Lifesparks medical experts comes from her diverse career background. One of Leahs first nursing jobs was on a cardiac step-down unit, a fast-paced, intense environment where the nurses were constantly working with different physicians and therapists. I learned how to quickly build trusting relationships with the providers and also with families during some of the darkest moments of their lives, she said.Leah said she grew professionally in that environment, gaining skills and knowledge that prepared her for her next job, at a long-term acute care hospital. The individuals she cared for had complex diagnoses and illnesses, such as extensive wounds, traumatic brain injury, chronic kidney disease, and respiratory failure. Patients were here for two to six months or more, many of them on ventilators and feeding tubes, so I got to know their families and learned how to support them, too, she said.In 2017, Leah joined Lifespark Community Home Care as their first on-call nurse. Coming into the Home Care setting with my background was powerful, because I knew what my clients had just walked out of, whether that was the hospital or rehab, and now I could help them stay healthy at home, she said.Seven years later, she was recruited for Lifesparks Mobile Urgent Response team. I feel like each step in my career has prepared me for the next one, and now, as a Mobile Urgent Responder, I can be the eyes and ears of our providers in the home, she said. I can also bring care and compassion and empathy to our members, so they feel confident in the care were providing.Benefits of early interventionThe Mobile Urgent Response team has been most successful when members call the triage line before their symptoms progress to a critical level. The team has been able to treat early symptoms of congestive heart failure (CHF) and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) in the home, often with a short-term medication adjustment. However, if a CHF or COPD exacerbation isnt treated, the client would likely need to be hospitalized for IV therapy and increased respiratory support. Recently, Leah collaborated with the on-call provider to diagnose a painful ear infection that had developed quickly. The physician faxed a prescription for antibiotics to the clients pharmacy which they were able to pick up and start taking that same day.Its really fulfilling and rewarding to be able to offer this service to our members and their families who want to be supportive but cant always be there in person, Leah said. Theyre in good hands with Lifespark.To learn how Lifespark helps seniors stay healthy at home, visit Lifespark.com or call 952-345-8770.
Seniors have earned their safety net of Social Security and Medicare, but to truly thrive they need to move beyond the well-planned life to add something unexpected: personal risk. Its one of the oddest twists of modern society Americans spend most of their lives being encouraged to work hard to do difficult things. As soon as we hit a certain age, though, its all about easing up and backing off. Grandma, take a break! Give it a rest, Grandpa! You dont want to chance a fall there! The problem is, weve become so preoccupied with surplus safety at all times for seniors that we have stripped away too many of the surprises and unexpected twists that make life worth living. Is it any wonder that seniors now are battling an epidemic of boredom, depression, and loneliness? Few people of any age find meaning and purpose in doing the same thing, at the same time, in the same way, every day. We need to mix it up and try something new a physical challenge, a different setting, a new learned skill. As a career nurse and chief executive of a complete senior health company, I know that the only risk-free environment is a coffin. No point rushing our way into there. One of the best solutions to bring risk to seniors is to borrow an idea from the younger generations. Seniors should go gaming. No, grandparents may not want to take up Minecraft, Fortnite, or Call of Duty. (Though if they want to try it, by all means, go for it.) Im also not a big fan of one traditional eldergame, namely, bingo, which is too much about luck and not enough about skill and performance mastery as a source of motivation. There is little in bingo that offers true risks or competition to benefit others. The better games promote the physical and mental skills that can go unexercised as people grow older. For families and friends, an excellent plan is to tap into the data collected by Apple watches and Fitbit-style fitness trackers. How many steps a day can you record? How many days a week can you record steps that meet your goal? Instead of making it an individual competition, we see better gains and more fun overall when people are assigned to a team. A team competition makes you responsible to others, not just yourself. Its human nature to push yourself harder when others are relying on you. Maybe the team is made up of family and loved ones. Maybe its friends and neighbors. The overall goal is to get everyone accountable and moving. In our own health business, we have 1,000 seniors, aged 60s to 100 and up, who compete in Spark Performances, which include an annual TRY-athlon Tournament, a remote-control National Forklift Racing League, and The Grip Games. There also is the Spark Challenge, where community teams battle for the league championship using walkers, stationary bikes, and arm cranks. Every week the 32 teams in the league tune in to The Really Big Show, an ESPN-style Sports Center wrapup that features results and league standings. Established powerhouse teams are the Dragonflies, Cardinals, and River Rats. The competition is fueled by a $32,000 tournament purse. Of course, not everyone can do the more physically demanding tasks though a 95-year-old is one of our leading hallway runners but every team has a place for someone, including coaches, statisticians, and cheerleaders. How is it safe to have great-grandmothers running down hallways in walkers? The truth is, its not completely safe. But thats the point. And its also really fun. A few weeks ago, an 80+ woman was competing in the hallway run when she slipped, fell, and cut her knee. In the emergency room, the doctor asked her how the injury happened. I fell in a triathlon, she replied. The doctor thought she was joking until the woman asked to be patched up as quickly as possible, so she could complete her remaining two events. She was extremely proud and definitely adamant she really, really did not want to let down her team. What she saw was a chance to win. What our medical team saw was strength, purpose, and belonging. Whether in a senior community or in life, aging is a team sport. As our years go up, we depend more on others to reach our goals. Our team may include family, friends, medical professionals, or even a fellow hallway racer on a walker. Well do better together, if only we take that risk to challenge our minds and bodies with something new. Joel Theisen, BSN, RN, is founder and chief executive of Lifespark, a Minnesota- based complete senior health company. Follow him on Twitter: @Lifespark_CEO.
Welcome to CareAparent. A premier provider of in-home care in Minnesota for individuals who would like to avoid the move to assisted living or a nursing home.CareAparent believes most people would prefer to live and age in place in their home as independently as possible for as long as possible. Our job is to make that happen.We offer essential in-home care services throughout the Twin Cities, whenever its needed, to continue enjoying life in a familiar, comfortable environment. Whether you or a loved one needs minimal assistance or certain visits during the week or 24/7 care well be there. Passionate and experienced Caregivers are available 24-hours a day and every day of the week, including weekends and holidays.Contact us today for a complimentary consultation. We will help assess the needs of you or your loved one by creating a client-centered care plan. When you need the best home health care the Twin Cities Metro Area has to offer contact the professionals at CareAparent.Call us at 651-702-4663 Services Provided:Quality Home Health Carehygiene and wellnessHealth HygieneLight HousekeepingMeals and feeding assistanceMeals and NutritionCompanion CareErrands and transportationTransportationRespite careSkilled Nurse VisitsMedication ManagementMonitoring Vital SignsCatheter and Ostomy CaresINR Checks and Diabetes ManagementClinical ManagerHospice SupportPhysical TherapyOccupational TherapyCMe TelemedicineVeteran Services
Welcome to CareAparent. A premier provider of in-home care in Minnesota for individuals who would like to avoid the move to assisted living or a nursing home.CareAparent believes most people would prefer to live and age in place in their home as independently as possible for as long as possible. Our job is to make that happen.We offer essential in-home care services throughout the Twin Cities, whenever its needed, to continue enjoying life in a familiar, comfortable environment. Whether you or a loved one needs minimal assistance or certain visits during the week or 24/7 care well be there. Passionate and experienced Caregivers are available 24-hours a day and every day of the week, including weekends and holidays.Contact us today for a complimentary consultation. We will help assess the needs of you or your loved one by creating a client-centered care plan. When you need the best home health care the Twin Cities Metro Area has to offer contact the professionals at CareAparent.Call us at 651-702-4663 Services Provided:Quality Home Health Carehygiene and wellnessHealth HygieneLight HousekeepingMeals and feeding assistanceMeals and NutritionCompanion CareErrands and transportationTransportationRespite careSkilled Nurse VisitsMedication ManagementMonitoring Vital SignsCatheter and Ostomy CaresINR Checks and Diabetes ManagementClinical ManagerHospice SupportPhysical TherapyOccupational TherapyCMe TelemedicineVeteran Services
Welcome to CareAparent. A premier provider of in-home care in Minnesota for individuals who would like to avoid the move to assisted living or a nursing home.CareAparent believes most people would prefer to live and age in place in their home as independently as possible for as long as possible. Our job is to make that happen.We offer essential in-home care services throughout the Twin Cities, whenever its needed, to continue enjoying life in a familiar, comfortable environment. Whether you or a loved one needs minimal assistance or certain visits during the week or 24/7 care well be there. Passionate and experienced Caregivers are available 24-hours a day and every day of the week, including weekends and holidays.Contact us today for a complimentary consultation. We will help assess the needs of you or your loved one by creating a client-centered care plan. When you need the best home health care the Twin Cities Metro Area has to offer contact the professionals at CareAparent.Call us at 651-702-4663 Services Provided:Quality Home Health Carehygiene and wellnessHealth HygieneLight HousekeepingMeals and feeding assistanceMeals and NutritionCompanion CareErrands and transportationTransportationRespite careSkilled Nurse VisitsMedication ManagementMonitoring Vital SignsCatheter and Ostomy CaresINR Checks and Diabetes ManagementClinical ManagerHospice SupportPhysical TherapyOccupational TherapyCMe TelemedicineVeteran Services