Advice for Caregivers: Helping Your Aging Loved One

For women, eldercare should not mean sacrificing your careerMany women, especially those in mid-career, find themselves facing the difficult decision of whether to leave the workforce to care for aging parents. The demands of eldercare can pile up with little warning or predictability and quickly become overwhelming. The "easiest" solution for many women in this position may seem like stepping away from their professional lives altogether.However, leaving the workforce can have long-term, unseen consequencesfinancially, emotionally, and professionally. Before women make this decision, we want to bring to light to some of the costs of stepping away, as well as share options that are available to help women care for aging parents or loved ones without sacrificing their career.The elephant in the room - what about men?It's a systemic problem that the large majority of caregiving responsibilities fall on women. We believe fully this should not be the case - and will continue to advocate for a future where men and women are expected to share, and do share, these responsibilities more equally. That said, this article is going to focus on the impact of eldercare on women, and options available, because the data shows the women are the ones who are much more likely to pay the price of eldercare.Female caregivers are more likely than males to ask for a less demanding job, take unpaid leave, or give up work entirely to support caregivingWomen lose an estimated $325K over their lifetime due to caregivingThe Unseen Costs of Leaving the WorkforceWomen who exit the workforce early face immediate income loss, diminished retirement savings, and a reduction in Social Security benefits. AARP reports that caregivers can expect to spend an average of $7K annually on out-of-pocket expenses.Additionally, exiting the workforce comes with professional setbacks that may be hard to recover from. Studies show that women who take time off for caregiving often find it difficult to re-enter their fields, and when they do, they may face lower wages, fewer opportunities for advancement, or the need to start in less demanding roles.The Unseen Costs of "Daughterhood"A less recognized aspect of womens caregiving burden is eldercare (i.e. daughterhood), which is frequently overshadowed by the attention given to childcare (i.e. motherhood). While businesses have made strides in supporting working mothers, they have largely ignored the unique challenges posed by eldercare. The emotional and physical toll of eldercare, which often includes managing chronic illnesses, dementia, and end-of-life care, cannot be underestimated.According to the Federal Reserve, four times as many people have left the workforce due to adult caregiving compared to childcare, yet corporate policies and benefits packages rarely address these realities.Why You Shouldn't Quit: There Are OptionsBalancing work, children, aging parents, mental and physical health, a "clean" home, and the semblance of a social life - it's simply not sustainable. It would make Superwoman run for the exit. It's no wonder that women leave their jobs in order to quickly take something off their plate. But before putting in your notice, let's talk about resources and options that may be available.Workplace Benefits: Find out what your company offers. Some offer paid caregiver leave, flexible work schedules, Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) that provide counseling and eldercare resources.Even if your employer is moving away from remote work post-pandemic, you can advocate for more flexibility, such as flexible hours or a partial work-from-home arrangement.According to experts, a flexible workplace arrangement is often the most important factor for caregivers trying to juggle their professional and personal lives.External Support Systems: there are local and national organizations that can provide assistance. Naborforce is one of these organizations - our founder Paige Wilson lived all of the stark truths discussed in this article, and that is why she decided to do something about it! And if Naborforce isn't in your area or isn't an option for you - there are other resources to check out: care.com, Bright Horizons, home care agencies, caregiving forums, etc.Note: Naborforce partners with employers to provide discounted hourly rates. If your employer doesn't have Naborforce as an option, reach out to us and we will see if there is an opportunity to collaborate!Talk to your people: Many organizations are beginning to create employee resource groups for caregivers, offering a safe space to share experiences and tips for managing eldercare. These groups can be a lifeline for employees who feel isolated in their caregiving roles.Making Eldercare an Employee BenefitEmployers play a crucial role in supporting women who are caregivers. Unfortunately, 79% of caregivers do not have access to benefits that support them in this role.Supporting working women is not just about helping parents; its about addressing the needs of adult daughters (and sons) who are balancing caregiving with their professional lives. As 10,000 people turn 65 every day in the U.S., this challenge is only going to grow. Employers must adapt to this reality if they want to retain top female talent.The Bottom Line: You Have OptionsWhile caregiving can feel like an all-consuming role, women should not have to choose between their careers and their families. By tapping into workplace benefits, seeking flexible arrangements, and exploring external resources, women can navigate the challenges of eldercare without sacrificing their professional futures.

As we age, managing our finances and personal affairs can become more challenging. Many older adults want to maintain their independence but also recognize they may need some help. This is where a durable power of attorney can be very useful.What is a Durable Power of Attorney?A durable power of attorney is a legal document that allows you to choose someone you trust to handle certain tasks for you. This person is called your "agent" or "attorney-in-fact." The word "durable" means that the document stays in effect even if you become unable to make decisions for yourself later on.How Can a Durable Power of Attorney Help?A durable power of attorney gives you flexibility. It allows you to get help with tasks when you need it, while still keeping control over your affairs. Here are some ways it can be helpful:Bill Paying: You can have your agent help pay your monthly bills, while you still manage other parts of your finances.Banking: Your agent can handle bank transactions for you if needed.Legal Matters: Your agent can sign legal documents on your behalf.Property Management: Your agent can help manage your property or real estate.Healthcare Decisions: If you have a healthcare power of attorney, your agent can make medical decisions for you if you're unable to do so.You Don't Lose ControlMany older adults worry that having a power of attorney means giving up control. This is not true. Here's what you need to know:You can still manage your own affairs as usual.You can still make your own decisions and handle your own finances.Your agent doesn't replace you - they just have the ability to help when needed.You decide what powers to give your agent. You can make it very limited or very broad.Flexibility for the FutureA durable power of attorney provides peace of mind. It ensures that someone you trust can step in to help if you ever need it. This can be especially important if:You become ill or hospitalizedYou have memory problems or confusionYou have physical limitations that make it hard to do certain tasksYou want to travel but need someone to handle things at homeChoosing Your AgentPicking the right person as your agent is very important. Here are some tips:Choose someone you trust completelyPick someone who is responsible and good with financial mattersConsider choosing an adult child, close relative, or trusted friendMake sure the person is willing to take on this responsibilityYou can name more than one agent if you wantSetting It UpTo create a durable power of attorney:Decide what powers you want to give your agentChoose your agent(s)Have a lawyer draft the document for youSign the document in front of a notary publicGive copies to your agent, doctor, and important family membersMaintaining Your IndependenceRemember, having a durable power of attorney doesn't mean you're giving up control. It's a tool that helps you maintain your independence by ensuring you have help available when you need it. You can still:Make your own decisionsManage your own moneyPay your own billsSign your own documentsYour agent only steps in when you ask them to or if you become unable to handle things yourself.Changing Your MindIf you ever change your mind, you can:Revoke (cancel) the power of attorney at any time, as long as you're mentally competentChange who you've named as your agentModify what powers you've given your agentPeace of MindHaving a durable power of attorney in place can provide great peace of mind. It ensures that:Someone you trust can help you if neededYour wishes will be followedYour affairs will be managed even if you can't do it yourselfYou have a plan in place for the futureGetting HelpIf you're interested in setting up a durable power of attorney:Talk to your family about your wishesConsult with an elder law attorneyDiscuss it with your doctorReach out to local senior services for guidanceRemember, a durable power of attorney is a powerful tool that can help you maintain control over your life as you age. It provides flexibility and security, allowing you to get help when you need it while still maintaining your independence.

Guardianships, also known as conservatorships in some jurisdictions, are legal arrangements established when an individual can no longer manage their own financial, personal, or medical affairs. This legal process involves petitioning the court to appoint a guardian or conservator to oversee the incapacitated person's wellbeing and assets.When is Guardianship Necessary?Guardianship may become necessary when an individual is unable to make sound decisions due to:Advanced dementia or Alzheimer's diseaseComa or persistent vegetative stateSevere brain injury or damageOther serious medical conditions affecting cognitive functionThe key factor is that the person lacks the capacity to manage their own affairs and make important life decisions.The Legal ProcessTo establish a guardianship, the following steps typically occur:A petition is filed with the court requesting guardianship.The court reviews evidence of the individual's incapacity, including:Medical records and evaluationsTestimony from doctors and other healthcare professionalsAssessments of the person's functional limitationsThe court determines if the individual meets the legal definition of incapacity.If incapacity is established, the court appoints a qualified guardian. This may be:A family member or friendA professional guardianA non-profit organizationA government agencyThe court specifies the scope of the guardianship, which may include:Guardian of the Estate (for financial matters)Guardian of the Person (for healthcare and personal decisions)Both financial and personal guardianshipDuties and Responsibilities of GuardiansOnce appointed, guardians have significant responsibilities, including:Making financial and/or healthcare decisions on behalf of the incapacitated personEnsuring the person's basic needs are met (housing, food, medical care, etc.)Managing assets and paying billsKeeping detailed records of all actions and transactionsSubmitting regular reports to the courtObtaining court approval for major decisions (e.g., selling property, changing living arrangements)Guardians must act in the best interests of the incapacitated person at all times. They are accountable to the court and must follow all requirements outlined in the guardianship order.Ongoing Court OversightThe court maintains supervision over guardianships to ensure proper care of the incapacitated person. This typically involves:Reviewing annual reports submitted by the guardianAppointing a court examiner to monitor the guardianshipAddressing any concerns raised about the guardian's performanceModifying or terminating the guardianship if circumstances changeAlternatives to GuardianshipBefore pursuing guardianship, less restrictive alternatives should be considered, such as:Power of attorneyHealthcare proxyLiving trustsRepresentative payee for government benefitsSupported decision-making arrangementsThese options may provide sufficient assistance while preserving more autonomy for the individual.Seeking Legal GuidanceNavigating the guardianship process can be complex. An experienced elder law attorney can provide valuable assistance by:Evaluating whether guardianship is necessaryExplaining legal options and alternativesPreparing and filing required court documentsRepresenting interested parties in guardianship hearingsAdvising appointed guardians on their duties and responsibilitiesWhile guardianship provides important protections for incapacitated individuals, it also involves a significant loss of rights and autonomy. Courts aim to balance the need for protection with preserving as much independence as possible. By understanding the guardianship process and available alternatives, families can make informed decisions to best support their loved ones who need assistance.Guardianship laws and procedures vary by state, so it's advisable to consult with a qualified local attorney for specific guidance. With proper legal counsel and court oversight, guardianship can provide vital support and protection for those who truly need it.