Decluttering Our Lives
ProMedica Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation- Ft. Myers East
Feb 24, 2021
Florida - Southwest
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Professional organizer Peter Walsh says, We all think of clutter as the physical stuff, but we need to think beyond that, he tells us. Clutter is anything that gets between you and the life you want to be living.
In a particularly challenging year, how could any of us find the space in our home or minds that hadnt already been muddled by the pandemic?
Organizing as a Way of Healing
This November, I found myself on crutches for the second time in ten months. My foot missed a rung on the ladder and my knee crashed into a wall. Confined to the couch, I cringed whenever I surveyed my disordered home. My husband would cook dinner and wash dishes, but didnt wipe the counters. Or, I smelled leftover turkey coming from my lunch plate left in the sink.
When able, I started moving catalogs from the mail to the garbage. I shifted a pot lid to its owner. It would take me all day to straighten the house, but to quote Marie Kondo, author ofThe Life Saving Magic of Tidying Up, a messy environment taxes the brain...we cant focus on what we should be doing in the moment, and our decision-making ability is impaired. I needed to unburden my brain so I could heal, and also write again.
The UCLA Center for Families developed a study regarding clutter and depression and discovered what most women already knew. Researchers found a link between high cortisol (the stress hormone) levels in female homeowners and a high density of household objects.More mess equaled more stress.
My mother was known for obsessively cleaning the house before our family left on vacation. As kids, we joked, Are you cleaning the house for the burglars, Mom? For her, a return from vacation meant a return to chores and laundry. She didnt need the added task of cleaning bathrooms from weeks-old grime or picking toys up off the floor. Hobbling around my house, I felt the same. When I returned to mobility, I didnt want more obstacles in my way.
Letting Go of the Past
The end of the year is also the perfect time to make roomin our mindsto consider future endeavors. Yet, so many of us hold on to the past in the literal sense. Old newspaper clippings from high school days. Riveting books we swore we would read again. Clothes we planned to fit intoagain. And these too become obstacles for the life we want to lead.
As caregiver for my mother, I hung on to many of her final possessions, like her Christmas caroler dolls, an old cake pan in the shape of a bunny, and a shoebox of recipes she cut from magazines. In the corner of my office, three cartons of photos from unknown Italian ancestors on both sides of the family were piled high. And despite my best efforts, I had no way to uncover details about places and names.
According to Marie Kondo, "When we really delve into the reasons for why we can'tletsomethinggo, there are only two: an attachment to thepastor a fear for the future."
I wondered what would happen to our family tree and our beloved distant relatives when we divested ourselves from those belongings? I was still attached to my parents lives but also feared I would forget the memories, like my mother had in her dementia.
My husband produced a wise answer. Keep what your grandchildren will want to know about your parents. Whatever was important to their identity and yours, will be important to theirs.
Revisiting what I saved after my mothers death, I rid myself of little more of paperwork that told the story of her chaotic hospital admissions, her clip-on jewelry that wasnt precious, just practical like her, and let her go a little more. But the handwritten cookbooks, with recipes for meals she prepared with love and sometimes determination? I stored them safely under lock and key.
When given the doctors release from crutches, I planned to cook my holiday dinner and desserts, straight from those recipe books. After I put the seasonal dcor in storage, I intended to scan each of those recipes, and design a cookbook for my children to keep.
Annette Januzzi Wickis a writer, speaker and author ofIll Have Some of Yours: What my mother taught me about dementia, cookies, music, the outside, and her life inside a care home (Three Arch Press), available through online retailers and distributors, and is a recipient of a 2020 National Society of Newspaper Columnists award. Visit annettejwick.com to engage her services or learn more.
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How Do You Decide What Is Clutter?
Im not a fan of the word decluttering, although it comes up a lot in my work as a professional organizer. The reason I dont like that term is because clutter has such a negative connotation, and sometimes when people hear the word decluttering, it makes them feel guilty that they have clutter in the first place. Is this clutter? is a question that my clients ask me a lot. I think there are a lot of myths and misunderstandings about what counts as clutter. Often, people are afraid that I will tell them that something important to them is clutter, or they need to get rid of something that is sentimental but doesnt seem to have practical value. But Im happy to say that this isnt the case! When I work with my clients, I take a different approach to decluttering than they might have seen on a TV show or read about in a book. Heres what I think is important for you to know about clutter and decluttering: There is no single item that is always clutter. Have you ever heard the expression, whether something is a weed or a flower depends on your perspective? Well, I think the same is true about clutter. Something that seems useless to one person could be extremely important to another. I think of clutter as anything in your space that doesnt provide you value (whether that value may be practical use, sentimental or financial value, or pleasure). Something that you dont have the time, energy, or space to properly take care of, no matter how much you want to, can also become clutter. Thats why its so important to evaluate what you think is important before you begin to address clutter in your home. Only you can decide what is clutter in your own space. Sentimental and decorative items arent necessarily clutter.Many of my clients struggle with decisions about whether to keep sentimental items. Sometimes we keep them out of feelings of guilt or obligation, and sometimes we feel guilty for holding onto items that we love but have no practical purpose.I personally love sentimental items, and as you can see on my bookshelf, I love to display them through my home. Seeing my favorite books, photos of loved ones, and little pieces of my history on a regular basis make me happy. I encourage my clients to keep, display, and properly preserve sentimental items that bring them joy, and let go of the ones that bring feelings of guilt or burden. The key to not allowing sentimental items to become clutter is to be selective about which items you keep, and to store or display them in a way that allows you to enjoy them. Things that are useful can still be clutter. But that could be useful! is one of the most common protests I hear when I encourage clients to let go of something theyre not using. And I understand that it can feel wasteful to let go of something that could be possibly used in the future. However, many of us hold onto potentially useful itemsthat we never actually use! And that ultimately leads to clutter in your home. If youre not going to use something, its ok to pass it along to someone who will. Clutter isnt always an eyesore, or even visible. Just because a home doesnt look messy doesnt mean it isnt cluttered. Going back to the definition of clutter, if something in your space isnt providing you value, no matter how neat or organized it looks, it is still clutter. Also, clutter sometimes isnt visible at all. Maybe you have commitments on your calendar that are sucking up time but dont provide you with value, or you have tons of files and photos on your photo that are just taking up space. Clutter can come in many forms, not just physical. Once you start thinking critically about the things you are giving time, space, and energy, you will be able to apply a decluttering mindset to all aspects of your life. Dont start by decluttering, start by assessing. Instead of decluttering, I prefer to begin the organizing process by assessing. I help my clients take a look at their items in a non-judgemental way are these items helping them to achieve their goals, or are they just taking up space without providing enough value? If theyre happy with everything, we figure out how to make all of their items work in their space. But more often than not, clients realize they do have things in their space they want to let go of. If you need help thinking through the items you have in your space and deciding what to keep or let go of, Im here for you. Set up a time to chat with me so I can give you some guidance.
Holiday Visits: Prepare the Home, Protect Your Peace
A warm welcome doesn't require a perfect house. Whether family is coming for an afternoon or staying a few nights, a little planning now can make holiday gatherings more comfortable for everyone.1. Have the conversation earlyConfirm dates, overnight arrangements, food preferences, and any mobility needs. Let guests know what works for you, including visit length and quiet time.2. Create a comfortable place to landFresh linens, a clear bedside surface, and an easy-to-reach lamp can make a guest space feel welcoming. No guest room? Agree on sleeping arrangements ahead of time.3. Make movement easierClear hallways and stairs, secure or remove loose rugs, and check lighting between sleeping areas and bathrooms. Keep frequently used items within comfortable reach.4. Put safety before tidinessStore medications securely, especially when children are visiting. Check smoke and carbon monoxide alarms according to the manufacturer's instructions, and keep exits clear.5. Share the hostingInvite family to bring a dish, help with cleanup, or organize an activity. Keep meals simple and make room for breaks. Being together matters more than doing everything yourself.6. Make space for connectionSet out a few family photos, plan a favorite game, or ask guests to share a memory. Often, the simplest traditions are the ones everyone remembers.