Downsizing: How to Ease the Emotional Burden

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Holly Creek - Christian Living Communities

Posted on

Jun 01, 2021

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Colorado - Denver Metro

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Home is where the heart is This is one of my favorite sayings that my mom and grandmother both had mounted in their kitchens. Home is where we raise our children, find our solace after a tough day, make our holiday memories, and secure our future. Home is everything to us.
When it comes to moving to senior living, older adults must give up their homes anddownsizeto apartment living. It is quite an emotional journey, often coming with much reluctance and grief.
In additional to thelogistical detailsnecessary to make a move, here are five thoughts to consider in order to ease the emotional burden:
USE YOUR TIME WISELY
While living in and enjoying your primary home, set up a schedule to downsize your belongings and memorabilia, well before an expected move. Start with a single drawer or closet shelf, so that the emotions can be segmented in smaller moments of time and effort. Set up rewards for yourself when you accomplish each little goal.
ENGAGE YOUR FAMILY
Reminiscing about the past is so important for older adults to celebrate their accomplishments and share their values and beliefs with younger family members. Asking children and grandchildren to join the downsizing process can be an enjoyable multi-generational activity and an opportunity to share important memories. Make it into a fun afternoon to see what treasures will be discovered or how many trash bags you can fill.
DOCUMENT YOUR EXPERIENCE
Many people find journaling a cathartic experience. Perhaps downsizing brings up negative emotions. Take time to journal about these emotions and what is most difficult in the current moment. Ask yourself what you need to know, gain, or release so that you can move forward with the downsizing process.
ENVISION THE POSSIBILITIES
While any change will disrupt someones natural daily schedule and rhythm, begin to envision the positives about a smaller apartment with less responsibility,a lifestyle with more amenitiesand support, new friendships and relationships, and the opportunity for new learnings and experiences. Creating a positive vision will often help provide the momentum needed to complete the task at hand.
CREATE RITUAL
While many find enjoyment in their numerous sets of china, family photos mounted on the walls, and favorite pieces of jewelry, create a ritual to pass them down to family members or donate to families in need. Many people will often re-purpose cherished items to fit a smaller space, such as creating collages, quilts and collections from their most precious items. Perhaps writing a story about the items will help others understand their value and meaning.
Although grieving a move can be a difficult process, avoiding the grieving experience often creates unnecessary chaos and confusing if a crisis should happen without being prepared. Home is where the heart is, for sure, but there is also an age-old saying, bloom where you are planted. Older adults have been through so many changes in their lives and are much more resilient than expected. Moving to senior living is yet another stage of life, and one to be celebrated for a long life well lived.

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The Seven Biggest Mistakes Home Sellers Make When Downsizing... And How to Avoid Them

Downsizing even the word can create fear, anxiety, and insecurity to the home owner or their family members because it can be a major change to your life!  Going from a familiar, comfortable environment into the unknown.And yet, you may know you want or need to start considering a transition.  The house you now reside in is too large or does not work well for your current needs.  The demands that come with it are cleaning, repairs, maintenance, yard work, and other items youd prefer not to do or maybe cannot do any longer.  And the amount of stuff that has accumulated over the years needs to be dealt with.Like anything else, the more you discover about home downsizing, the better your result will be!Thats the goal of this article.  Through more than 25 years of working with seniors and their families that want or need to downsize a house and move to senior living, weve learned a great deal to help make the transition easier. Downsizing can be more difficult than it needs to be if you dont take the time to become familiar with the many facets involved in moving to a smaller living accommodation. This article contains specific items on the ins and outs, the do's and donts, what to avoid and what to embrace, so that after youve made the transition to senior living, youll be in a better place.Mistake #1: Failing To See the Big PictureMany who decide to downsize dont realize soon enough that it is a two-sided equation.  They have decided to sell their house, however they dont have a clear picture of what the selling process involves and secondly, where they will move to.Theres an old saying putting the cart before the horse, and for some people this definitely applies when downsizing their house.  Because of this, it is very important that you fully think out and decide where youre heading.Some options include:A smaller houseA condoAn apartmentMoving in with an adult childA senior community (independent living, assisted living, or other)There are choices, and as you consider downsizing your house, it helps to figure out your next step.  In addition, you will want to know, once you decide to make a move, theres actually availability where you want to be.  An example here is youve decided to relocate into an apartment community in a particular neighborhood, but you discover there are no vacancies at this time.  Its not uncommon for highly desired communities to have a waitlist.Do you have a plan B?  You may need one.  Other than the option of moving in with an adult child, there will always be the question of availability, so before you start packing, youll need to know.Knowing this information will provide some peace of mind as you start your home downsizing journey. Mistake #2: Not Assembling a Strong TeamTo win in sports, it takes a team effort from a group of dedicated people.  Even in individual sports, athletes must rely on a coach and a trainer, among others as part of their team.The same team concept holds true when selling your house and downsizing.  Earlier, we asked an important question to consider: where will you be going?  The answer serves as the end result to the downsizing process.  However, there are a multitude of other questions/scenarios to consider, which will cover in this article.  For now, let's focus on what you must do to place yourself in the best possible position to achieve your goals.First, who is going to be the leader of your team?  This should likely be a real estate professional who is highly experienced with home downsizing scenarios.  Some things to consider when selecting this professional:Does this person have a track record of accomplishment, specifically working with seniors and their families and the particular needs you have?Is this person familiar with the various home downsizing options so that they can provide outstanding guidance and direction to help decide the best options for you?Can they offer good advice of what you need to do to get your house ready for sale so its attractive to potential buyers?Will the real estate professional know the local market well enough, understanding realistic values and potential values of your house and the neighborhood?Will they be able to give you realistic expectations of what you may NET from the sale of your house in its as is as well as potential value?There are other factors involved in this process, but choosing the right real estate professional is a key decision in creating a good home downsizing team. Mistake #3: Getting OverwhelmedThe age old question goes like this:  How do you eat an elephant?  The answer: One bite at a time!The same applies with downsizing your house.  If you stop and think about all thats involved, youre likely to get overwhelmed.  Yes, theres a lot to do, but as with the item above, you just take it one step at a time. Again, this is where having a trusted, experienced real estate professional who is a specialist at downsizing can be a major asset.  They can guide you through this transition.  It's important to have a game-plan in place, a roadmap if you will, to follow.  This in itself, will give you some peace of mind and comfort during the process.  Some things to take note of:What repairs or deferred maintenance needs to be done to put your house in a good sellable condition?Whats the best way to market your house?Do you have accurate pricing and valuation information for your house?Are you going to live in the house until its sold, or find other living arrangements?All of the above are important items to consider.  Each will have a definite bearing on the process of selling your house.Along these lines, in particular, is the last bullet point, regarding whether you plan to stay in the house or move out.  If it is the former and you will be living in the house while selling, then be aware of a common mistake many sellers make.This will be covered next and is a key item in getting your house sold in a timely fashion.  Failing to adhere to this will potentially put you at a major disadvantage with potential home buyers!Mistake #4:  Not Seeing the Forest for the TreesIt's your house, which you know like the back of your hand.  Because of this, its easy to be lulled into a trap.  You walk through the various rooms and do so with the blinders that come with being the owner.  Here you arent always able to step back and see what is there.  In a word:CLUTTERPotential buyers want to image what the home will look like with their things in it.  Items such as furniture, pictures, and their personal keepsakes enter into a buyers visualization process.  Because of this, every place where you have something displayed makes it more difficult for the potential buyer to put their stuff into the picture.Unless you are planning on moving during the selling process, this is something you (and potential buyers) will have to deal with.  However, all is not lost!The answer is to remove as many things as possible, especially those items which can cause a negative imprint of the space.  Do what you can to not have overcrowded rooms or rooms with too much stuff.Your real estate professional can provide guidance in order to make sure your house looks its very best!  It may also be beneficial to consult with a professional home stager, someone that can help present your house to attract potential buyers.If nothing else, your real estate professional can serve as a fresh set of eyes to help get your house sold.  Its all about making your house as attractive as possible so that potential buyers see your house as where they want to live!Mistake #5: Unrealistic ExpectationsExpectations.  We all have them, no matter the circumstances.  It's human nature!  We think about the given situation and our mind forms an opinion, or expectation.Its the same with the process of selling a house and downsizing.  Expectations can become more clear once youve set a clear path for where you are heading.  Here, you will be able to see first-hand where you will be living.The second part of the scenario is more out of your control.  Thats because the potential buyer of your house will have a say-so in what you will actually NET from the sale.You can certainly ask whatever you want for the property.  It's your right as the owner.  That said, there is usually a asking price and the selling price.  Then there is the actual net amount you will receive from the transaction.Many sellers think with their heard and not their head when formulating the initial asking price.  Thats because they get emotional in regard to the property.  It's understandable.  Its the sellers home.  It's likely a family was raised in the house.  You may have owned the property for literally decades and created many memories.For many, all these thoughts influence the asking price.  Again, this is normal.  However, the bottom line is that this is a business transaction.  Indeed, you as the seller are trying to get every possible dollar from the sale.In the end though, the market will dictate the price for the property, and it is up to you to decide if that amount is acceptable. Mistake #6: Not Being Open to All PossibilitiesAs the home owner, you will be the final decision maker as to what you will or will not accept for the house.  Having a real estate professional can help in determining what that amount will be in order for you to accept the result and move on.The real estate professional can research what comparable houses have sold for in your neighborhood in the recent past.  They can also see whats currently on the market (your competition), and what was on the market but didnt sell.  They will also be able to show you the condition of these houses.  All of this is very good information to have! Part of the decision regarding an asking price may be based on how quickly you want or need to move.  It may be a result of a health-related matter, or that the apartment or senior community is available right now and may not be in the near future.  There are often factors that contribute to the timetable to sell and move.Did you know that there are other options available to sell your house, in its current as is condition, and at a fair price?  There are professional home buyers that provide benefits that may be of value to you and your unique needs and be just what you are looking for!Here again, a real estate professional that has experience working with home owners and their families wanting or needing to downsize can help to provide the benefits or negatives or the various selling options.It certainly doesnt hurt to explore the various options to sell your house, whether you are wanting to make a move in the next few days, weeks, or months.Your goal is a smooth transition, where when all is said and done, you are satisfied with the outcome, no matter who the buyer is!Mistake #7: Fear Of the UnknownOne things for sure the decision to sell your house and downsize means you are in for a visit into unchartered territory. If you are planning to move in with an adult child, this may not be as much as an unknown as the other options.Otherwise, youll be looking at a smaller house, condo, apartment, or some type of senior community. Rest assured that many people, just like you, have gone through the downsizing process and made it successfully to the other side.  They are living a life where they know they made the right decision for them.The unknowns can certainly be scary, but it can also be an exciting and rewarding experience. The right real estate professional can be an important and valuable resource to make this process go as smoothly and stress-free as possible.  If youd like to discuss your options, and how Home Downsizing Solutions can help with your specific situation, just let us know!  With our 25+ years of downsizing experience, we are confident that we can help!

The 5 Critical Steps to Successfully Sell Your House & Downsize

As we grow older, the desire and sometimes need for a different and safer living arrangement increases.  That new living arrangement may be a smaller home, moving in with a family member, apartment community, or other senior living arrangement.  It may also include staying in the house were already living in, with some modifications to provide a better living environment.If the decision is to sell your house and move, this article will cover the 5 critical steps needed to sell your house and downsize.Assess Your Current Living SituationBefore looking for a new living arrangement, it's important to assess your current situation, needs, and future needs if possible.  Take a realistic look at your health, mobility, and any medical conditions that may require special care and attention.  Do you need help with activities like bathing, dressing, or making meals?  Do you need medication management or help with medical equipment?Make a list of your needs and desires to help you determine what level of care you need now or may likely need in the future.  This will help determine what type of living arrangement will be best for you.Research Living Arrangement OptionsOnce youve determined your needs and preferences, youll be better prepared to research your living arrangement options.  Is a smaller home or apartment community a good option?  Or is a senior community, such as independent living, assisted living, memory care, or continuing care community (a community that have different levels of care that can adapt to your needs) a better option?Look for a living arrangement or community that best fits your needs and preferences, that are hopefully located in areas that you want to be in and are close to services that you want or will need.  Often times, a knowledgeable senior placement agent can play an important role in helping locate a community that will fit your needs.Preparing Your House for SaleTypically, the next step is to get your house ready for sale.  This can include decluttering (getting rid of the sometimes decades of stuff that has accumulated in the house), getting a whole house inspection to discover known and unknown issues with the house that potential buyers will discover, making any necessary repairs and updates the house may need, and making the house inviting to potential buyers.What do I do with the stuff is usually the most common statement I hear.  But taking care of the stuff and depersonalizing the house, so that the house is inviting to potential buyers are important steps when selling a house in a traditional manner.If your house hasnt been updated in the last several years, you may need to decide if you will need to find contractors to update the house to what most home buyers expect in the current market, or price the house accordingly if the repairs and updates are not done.Locating The Right Real Estate ProfessionalI would recommend interviewing a few different real estate professionals to see what type of service is best for your specific situation.  Note- a friend or relative that happens to have a real estate license may not be your best choice.If your house is in great condition or you want and are able to get the house into a nice retail condition, and dont mind showings with strangers in your house or the other potential challenges that can go along with Listing a house, a great real estate agent may be your best solution.If you prefer to not do any repairs or updates, dont want to handle or deal with the stuff thats not important to you, dont want to get and keep the house in show ready condition, dont want strangers in your house, and want more control over the closing date and how long you can stay in the house, a trusted and experienced home buying company like Home Downsizing Solutions home buyers may be a great solution.The Move to Your New HomeOnce you have the sale of your house taken care of, it's time to make the move!You can start by creating a moving plan and schedule.  This can include going through your house, room by room, and identifying the items you want to take with you and ensuring they will fit in your new accommodations.  A senior moving/organizing company can help with sorting your stuff if needed.If you have enough good stuff that you dont want to take with you, you may want to contact a local estate sale company to monetize and get the most value from those items.When it comes time to pack and move, you and your family will need to determine if you have the abilities and resources for these tasks, or if its best to contact a local move manager and moving company that are specialists when it comes to downsizing and moving to senior living.And dont forget to notify utility companies, the post office, and others about the change in service and your new address.Downsizing and moving to new accommodations may be challenging, but with the right guidance and resources, can be rewarding and result in a better and more enjoyable life and lifestyle.For additional information on how to sell your house and downsize, just go to www.HomeDownsizingSolutions.com

Primary Care for Seniors

   If you are satisfied with the clinicians at your primary care office, cherish those relationships.  For many reasons, it is getting more difficult to find primary care clinicians who go the extra mile for you and your loved ones.  If you are not content with your primary care team, I offer the following suggestions.    First, find a clinician (physician, nurse practitioner, or physician assistant) who enjoys listening to you and your stories.  The art of medicine is mostly about the art of listening.and believing what you share.  Listening and understanding build trust, essential for any good relationship.  Every city and small town in our country has such clinicians.     Second, appreciate that young nurse practitioners and physician assistants can listen to you and help sort out your problems every bit as well as a seasoned physician who is overworked and/or approaching retirement.  In my 40 + year career, Ive had the opportunity to train hundreds of NPs and PAs.  They gain the knowledge, expertise, and confidence to become great providers within 9-12 months of graduating from professional schools.  Often, they have more technical skills than older physicians.  This works to your advantage in the following ways.  Assume you have an unusual combination of symptoms.  They know how to explore the Internet and rely on specialists to find the best plan of care for you.  Now assume you need a steroid injection in a joint.  Many NPs and PAs can provide procedures that overworked physicians never learned.     Third, see the entire practice as your primary care provider.  A good practice has all members working together as a team.  The members include front office staff who greet you for in-person visits, medical assistants and nurses who answer your phone calls, and the clinicians who care for you in person or with tele-health visits.  If you find that any team member isnt respectful, you should feel free to discuss this with the office manager.  All good practices should welcome feedback.      Fourth, if you have the means and value extra attention, consider a concierge practice.  Unfortunately, concierge physicians are beyond the reach of the vast majority of seniors in our country.  Further, we are seeing a shortage of these physicians just as we are seeing a shortage of all primary care physicians.  This brings us back to my key message: you can find trust and comfort with a dedicated NP or PA.  When we consider the evolution of geriatric practice over the last 4 decades, we understand that it is NPs and PAs providing the vast majority of visits in nursing homes, assisted living facilities, and in-home visits.Finally, it is important to understand the pressure and demands on your primary care office.  The advent of the electronic health records in the 1990s added a massive burden to all practices.  The hope (and the myth) was that EHRs would lead to higher quality medical care.  The reality is that EHRs havent improved true quality.  EHRs are the main reason so many good clinicians are feeling burned out.  The clinicians feel they have to pay more attention to the EHR (and quality metrics) than to the patient in front of them.  When you express your understanding of this dilemma to your clinical team, they greatly appreciate this.  Again, building understanding and trust leads to the best quality of care and beneficial outcomes. The article was written by Dr. Don Murphy, Geriatrician and Hospice Physician who plans to run for Governor of Colorado, on behalf of. He can be reached at murphdoc@comcast.net, his cell, 720-490-6757, or his main YouTube channel, TheCrazyMurphys5560. 

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