Estranged Adult Children: Understanding and Healing Relationships

By Sarah RichardThe calm ocean waves along the shore of our beloved Southwest Florida beaches are a sight that stirs the soul its a reminder of the peace and tranquility that makes our region feel like home. Its even apparent where the Caloosahatchee meets the Gulf, the two waterways connecting and forming an even greater world of life. Similar to life, the beloved river doesnt just form a straight line it spreads throughout neighborhoods, dipping into creeks and canals. In a way, water is an art form. Take Southwest Florida, for example. Just like the Caloosahatchee, art flows through our region in so many ways, from murals depicting the areas history, to weekly art walks in beautiful downtown Fort Myers. The art that surrounds us and the virtuosos holding the paintbrushes deserves a chance in the spotlight.Art galleries are just one of many ways to celebrate and pay respect to the talented artists that flood Southwest Florida. Presented by Gulf Coast Village and the North Fort Myers Arts Association (NFMAA), the Gulf Coast Gallery, serves to connect artists and community members through rotating art exhibits. Its upcoming installation, The Essence of Water, will celebrate water in all of its forms calm, powerful and lifegiving. The exhibit launches on Wednesday, Aug. 13, and features Jasmine, owner of Jasmines Art n Designz Studio, an acclaimed artist of more than five decades.Jasmine, a Quebec native, first picked up a paintbrush at the tender age of six and was an award-winning artist throughout her adolescent years. Her artwork could be found hanging in the halls of her primary school, a reflection of her hard work and artistic intelligence. Her love and motivation to continue creating has persevered over the last several decades, even when taking a decade-long hiatus to live in Haiti as a missionary, where she met and adopted her daughter. Her time in the Caribbean inspired her to dive deeper into her passion for art, but also to further explore her philanthropic side.I dont want my art to just be some pretty pictures on a canvas, said Jasmine. With every purchase made through her studio, 5% of proceeds are donated directly to impoverished children through her connections with missionaries across the world, including those in South America, the Middle East, Haiti and more. Wherever help is needed, Jasmine wants to provide it. And what better way than to connect her two passions?Art is more than just a passion for Jasmine. Its her life. For more than 30 years, shes been a full-time artist who explores all mediums. She finds the most joy and fulfillment in the creative process, which speaks to her true love for the talent she recognizes as a gift. Her creative process is a journey. Its detailed, but there's a freedom to it that resembles lifes journeys. Jasmine writes poetry to go with each work of art sometimes the poem is written before the art is created, or the art comes first. It all depends on where the process takes her. The same applies to the medium she chooses and the amount of time it takes her to complete a project. Her varied process results in artwork that covers all aspects of life, from nature and water to portraits and real-life scenes. Jasmine describes her work as eclectic, soulful and emotional. Through each piece, she invites the viewer on a personal journey, one that she hopes will stir and spark a meaningful connection.I hope that people feel seen when they see my art, shared Jasmine. I want people to feel inspired. Everyone has different successes, different failures and different memories, and my deepest desire is that when they stand in front of my art, one of those pieces will stir a feeling inside of them and make them happy.Jasmine will be displaying several paintings at The Essence of Water this August, some of which will be available for purchase. Attendees can enjoy wine, cheese and the beautiful artwork that Jasmine, the NFMAA and Gulf Coast Village resident artists have created. The exhibits grand opening is from 2 to 4 p.m. on Wednesday, August 13, at Gulf Coast Village, located at 1333 Santa Barbara Blvd. in Cape Coral. The exhibit will be available to view from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. through Sept. 28.To register for The Essence of Water, visit GulfCoastVillage.org/Event/Artist-Meet-and-Greet-The-Essence-of-Water-Art-Exhibit. To view Jasmines artwork, visit JasminesArtNDesignz.com.About the author Sarah Richard is the executive director of Gulf Coast Village, Cape Corals only life plan community. Visit GulfCoastVillage.org or call 239-510-8712 to learn more.

Its crucial for anyone with an older person in their life to think about elderly driving safety. Statistics support that seniors are at an increased risk when they drive compared to others. Older adults are more likely than middle-aged drivers(Opens in a new window) to be injured or killed in car accidents, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.But keeping your loved one safe doesnt have to mean taking away their car keys. Instead, its important to be aware of the dangers of elderly drivers, check on their abilities, review vehicle safety, and help them practice good driving habits.When you talk about senior driving safety together, you can often find solutions that are agreeable for everyone. Here are some things to consider when starting the conversation.Monitoring Physical Fitness for DrivingAging can affect vision, hearing, reaction time, and decision-making, hindering the ability to drive safely. Some changes are too gradual for seniors to notice, but their loved ones do.Consider these factors when assessing fitness for driving:Vision: Drivers need to see cars, traffic signals, street signs, and pedestrians. Older adults should have their eyes checked annually and ask how cataracts or glaucoma can affect their ability to drive.Hearing: Age-related hearing loss may make it harder to hear high-pitched police sirens, putting seniors or other drivers at risk. If an older adult has hearing loss, find out if any hearing devices can help them behind the wheel.Reaction Time: If their reflexes arent as sharp as they once were, an older adult may not respond to dangerous situations quickly enough.Chronic Conditions: Diabetes, sleep disorders, seizures, and dementia can jeopardize driving safety in ways that are beyond a persons control, such as needing more time to process information or becoming disoriented or incapacitated.Medications: Certain drugs cause drowsiness or side effects that make driving unsafe. If medication causes drowsiness, people shouldn't drive under its influence.Mobility: Regular physical activity may keep seniors healthy enough to drive. Neck rotations and shoulder stretches may encourage flexibility for turning and checking for oncoming traffic.During conversations about safe driving for older adults, seniors may emphasize that driving helps them maintain their independence, or they might acknowledge they're considering giving it up. It helps to talk through any physical limitations to reach a fair assessment of a seniors driving ability.Assessing Vehicle SuitabilityA cars characteristics and features are just as important to senior driving safety as the ability to drive. Here are a couple of key things to consider about vehicles with seniors in mind:Vehicle TypeCars come in so many sizes and styles that you can usually find one that fits a seniors needs.Think about getting in and out on the drivers side and where the seat positions the person for sight lines and pedal reach. For some seniors, a sedan may be easier to slide into than an SUVor vice versa. Try different styles and settings for a good match.Also, factor in the size of the vehicle and how it handles. Senior drivers should feel like they have control when accelerating, turning, and braking.Driving TechnologyNewer vehicles may promote safe driving practices for older adults with technology. A backup camera can make it easier when reversing, and monitoring alerts can let you know if something is behind or on the side of the car when backing up or changing lanes. Some cars have lane-departure warnings and can automatically slow the car to match the speed of traffic ahead.Other accessories like easy-to-grip steering-wheel covers and glare-reduction mirrors can improve the driving experience for seniors. If the driver has a disability, you might look into adaptive seating and controls.Its important to recognize that no technology or added equipment can guarantee safety while driving. But learning how to use features and other aids may help a senior driver feel more comfortable and confident.Practicing Safe Driving HabitsIf seniors arent ready to stop driving, you can still work together on reducing the dangers for elderly drivers by reviewing some best practices:Always wear a seatbelt.Only drive when well-rested.Stay a safe distance from the next car.Avoid driving in challenging conditions, like rush-hour traffic or bad weather.Only drive during daylight; get home before dark.Take a defensive driving course designed for older drivers.Dont eat, tune the radio, or talk on the phone while driving.Maintain the vehicle regularly.Discussing Concerns with Older DriversOlder adults and their loved ones may have different views about when seniors should stop driving. Family members may worry that seniors have slower reaction times and poor judgment. Seniors may want to drive indefinitely if their car keeps them active and independent.Driver safety, though, is everyone's top priority. Approach the concerns about elderly driving with thoughtfulness and honesty:Be Real About SafetySeniors may have trouble driving at night, when headlight glare seems blinding, and road signs can be harder to read. Busy highways may have too many merges, semi-trucks, and lane-changing drivers for seniors to navigate safely. Sometimes, older adults may recognize their limits and agree to stop certain types of driving.Stick to the FactsEveryone makes mistakes, but repeated driving mistakes may suggest that an older adult is losing their ability to safely gauge traffic situations. Family members should tread gently, talking about the facts, rather than getting emotional or pointing fingers.Come Up with SolutionsIf seniors think their car is what prevents them from being lonely and isolated, they may want to keep driving, even if they aren't confident about their abilities. If youre concerned about driving safety for the senior in your life, here are some solutions you might consider:Ride along with them to assess their driving skills. Offer constructive feedback, if they're willing to hear it.Offer them refresher driving lessons around the neighborhood, in case they've become lax about certain rules of the road.Sign them up for a defensive driving course for older adults, designed to improve driver safety, such as AAA's RoadwiseDriver(Opens in a new window).Offer to drive them places so they have the option not to drive.Show them how easy it can be to ride the local bus, hire a car service, or use a ride-hailing app. Go along with them a few times until they're comfortable on their own.Recognizing When Its Time for Seniors to Stop DrivingSometimes, its obvious when seniors should stop driving. Other times, its less clear.These common warning signs can suggest a decline in driving ability. If these issues keep cropping up, it may be time to ask a senior to stop driving:Theyve damaged the car fairly frequentlywhether its fender-benders, side-swiping parked cars or other objects, striking trees or road barriers, etc.Theyve repeatedly broken road rules, such as driving far under or over the speed limit or neglecting traffic signals or right-of-way.They've often shown they can't control the car by crossing the center line or driving on the shoulder.They've disregarded road signs by going the wrong way down one-way streets or parking in tow-away zones.Theyve gotten lost driving in familiar places when theyve previously had a good sense of direction.For additional guidance, families and seniors can use the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration(Opens in a new window) self-assessment tool.If you do need to ask a senior to stop driving, approach the subject with great care and sensitivity. Taking away someones keys can feel like taking away freedom and independence.Think about other ways older adults can maintain their independence, like ride-sharing apps, community-provided transportation, public transit, or asking friends or family members to take them places and spend some time with them.Older adults may be upset if their loved ones want them to stop driving, but it's a common reality for people as they age. Family members should be compassionate and honest when they bring up the topic. When families discuss safe driving, they should prioritize senior safety, but also consider the importance of older adults' independence, so everyone has some peace of mind.BrightStar Care Can Support You As You Support Your Loved OneBrightStar Care caregivers provide companionship and care for your loved ones. Whether youre looking for in-home care services(Opens in a new window) for your loved one or a reliable medical staffing(Opens in a new window) partner for your organization, our experienced local care team members are ready to help. Find a location(Opens in a new window) near you, contact us(Opens in a new window) online or call (866) 618-7827 to learn more about how BrightStar Care offers A Higher Standard.