Funeral Etiquette

Author

Jefferson Memorial Cemetery & Funeral Home

For more information about the author, click to view their website: www.jeffersonmemorial.com

Posted on

Mar 25, 2025

Book/Edition

Pennsylvania - Greater Pittsburgh Area

The accepted customs of dress and behavior in a funeral have changed over time, but courtesy never goes out of style. Here's what we'd like you to know about funeral etiquette.

Making the Most of a Difficult Time

It's important to know what religious, ethnic or personal considerations you need to take into account. And it's also important to be respectful of the emotions of close family members.

Here are a few things expected of you:

  • Offer an expression of sympathy.
    Upon arrival, approach the family and express your sympathy. Don't feel that you should avoid talking about the person who has passed, in fact, talking can help the grieving process to begin. Sometimes we are at a loss for words when encountering something as final as death. Simply saying "I'm sorry for your loss" is usually enough. Be respectful and listen attentively when spoken to, and offer your own words of condolence. In general, it is not appropriate to inquire as to the cause of death unless broached first by the family.
  • Find out the dress code.
    These days almost anything goes, but only when you know it's the right thing. In fact, sometimes the deceased has specified the dress code; 'no black' is a common request. If you can't learn the wishes of the family, then dress conservatively, and avoid bright colors.
  • Give a gift.
    It is completely up to you and depends on the closeness of your relationship with the family or the deceased. You can send flowers to the funeral home prior to the funeral. A donation or memorial gift are all meaningful gestures to let the bereaved know that they are in your thoughts. It doesn't matter if it is flowers, a donation to a charity or a commitment of service to the family at a later date; as always, "it's the thought that counts." Always make sure to provide the family with a signed card, so they know what gift was given, and by whom.
  • Sign the register book.
    Include not only your name, but your relationship to the deceased: co-worker, gym buddy, or casual acquaintance from the golf club, school. This helps family place who you are in future. Families will often send a thank you note using this information.
  • Keep in touch.
    It's sometimes awkward for you to do so, but for most people the grieving doesn't end with a funeral.
  • Turn off your cellphone.
    If you choose to bring your phone into the funeral home, take a moment to make sure you've turned it off or on silent.

But, What Shouldn't You Do?

  • Don't feel that you have to stay.
    If you make a visit during calling hours there's no reason your stay has to be a lengthy one.
  • Don't be afraid to laugh.
    Remembering their loved one fondly can mean sharing a funny story or two. Just be mindful of the time and place; if others are sharing, then you may do so too. There is simply no good reason you shouldn't talk about the deceased in a happy, positive tone.
  • Don't feel you have to view the deceased if there is an open casket.
    Act according to what is comfortable to you.
  • Don't allow your children to be a disturbance.
    If you feel they might be, then leave them with a sitter. But, if the deceased meant something to them, it's a good idea to invite them to share in the experience.
  • Don't leave your cell phone on.
    Switch it off before entering the funeral home, or better yet, leave it in the car. All too often, we see people checking their cell phones for messages during the services.
  • Don't neglect to step into the receiving line.
    Simply say how sorry you are for their loss, offer up your own name and how you knew the deceased.
  • Don't be too hard on yourself if you make a mistake.
    Everyone does, and you can be sure that an apology may be all that's needed to mend and soothe.

When it's all over, always remember to continue to offer support and love to the bereaved. The next few months are a time when grieving friends and relatives could need you most. Let them know that your support did not end with the funeral.

We are Here to Help

Perhaps you've got special concerns about an upcoming funeral or memorial service? We're here to provide the answers you're looking for. Call us at (412) 655-4501.

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Understanding ADLs and IADLs: Keys to Pennsylvanias Medicaid HCBS Programs

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Local Services By This Author

Jefferson Memorial Cemetery

Cemetery 401 Curry Hollow Road, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, 15236

When it comes to honoring your loved ones with dignity and care, Jefferson Memorial Cemetery, Funeral Home, Crematory & Arboretum stands as a trusted name in Pittsburghs South Hills. For nearly a century, this family-owned business has been dedicated to providing compassionate, personalized services to help families navigate lifes most difficult moments. Whether you're planning ahead or in immediate need, Jefferson Memorial offers everything you need to create lasting memories for your loved ones with unparalleled service and attention to detail.A Legacy of Service and TraditionFounded in 1929, Jefferson Memorial is a fourth-generation, veteran-owened, family-operated cemetery, funeral home, and crematory. With over 180 beautifully landscaped acres and a commitment to exceptional service, it has become one of the largest and most respected privately-owned cemeteries in the country. Whether you're seeking traditional burial, cremation services, or customized memorialization options, Jefferson Memorial has been a beacon of reliability and trust for families throughout Pittsburgh and beyond. With its stunning location, dedicated staff, and a comprehensive range of services, this cemetery and funeral home can meet the needs of every family, no matter their wishes or cultural traditions.Comprehensive Funeral Services Tailored to Your NeedsAt Jefferson Memorial, youll find a full-service funeral home thats equipped to handle every detail with care. The funeral home offers professional and sensitive services, whether you are pre-planning a ceremony or in immediate need of assistance. The facility includes four spacious visitation rooms, a welcoming hospitality room, and even a dedicated childrens area to ensure that all members of your family are comfortable during this emotional time.What sets Jefferson Memorial apart is its seamless integration of funeral home, crematory, and cemetery services. With an on-site crematory, your loved ones remain under the care of the funeral homes compassionate staff throughout the entire process, which ensures a stress-free and respectful experience from beginning to end. The funeral home also offers a range of personalized memorial options, including cremation jewelry, benches, keepsake urns, and much more, so you can create a tribute that reflects the unique life of your loved one.Beautiful Grounds with a Peaceful, Natural SettingSet on 180 acres, Jefferson Memorial Cemetery offers a beautiful and unique environment for families to reflect, remember, and honor their loved ones. The meticulously maintained grounds are more than just a cemetery; they are a certified Level II arboretum featuring a diverse array of trees, flowers, and plants that create a peaceful atmosphere conducive to healing and remembrance.The cemetery features 47 beautifully landscaped burial gardens, including dedicated sections for children and veterans. This variety ensures that families have multiple options for burial, including personalized memorials and private estates that reflect individual life stories. Jefferson Memorial also offers unique sections, such as a shared space for both pets and people, acknowledging the deep bonds we share with our animal companions.A Trusted Crematory Service You Can Rely OnFor those who prefer cremation, Jefferson Memorial is proud to have its own state-of-the-art crematory on-site. This exclusive service ensures that your loved ones remain in the care of the Jefferson Memorial family throughout the entire cremation process. With the highest standards of respect and care, Jefferson Memorial offers families peace of mind, knowing that all services are performed by a trusted team in a safe, professional environment.The funeral home offers a variety of cremation memorialization options to help you honor your loved one in a meaningful way. Whether you choose cremation jewelry, personalized urns, or Parting Stones solidified stones made from cremated remains you can create a tribute that beautifully reflects your loved ones life.Commemorating the Lives of Veterans and PetsJefferson Memorial is deeply committed to honoring those who have served in the military, and as such, offers special sections for veterans, ensuring that their sacrifices are forever remembered. These veteran sections, along with the cemeterys personalized memorials, serve as a fitting tribute to the men and women who have served this country.Additionally, Jefferson Memorial recognizes the importance of pets in the lives of families and offers dedicated pet sections within the cemetery. These sections provide families with a peaceful resting place for their beloved animal companions. Whether you choose to bury your pet individually or alongside your family members, Jefferson Memorial ensures that every member of your family no matter their species is cared for and remembered with respect.Pre-Planning Services: Giving You Peace of MindPlanning ahead not only alleviates stress on your loved ones, but it also ensures that your wishes are honored. Jefferson Memorial provides pre-planning services to help you make the necessary arrangements in advance. Their compassionate and licensed team is available to discuss options, assist with financial planning, and guide you through the process, ensuring that every detail is taken care of long before the time of need. By pre-planning with Jefferson Memorial, you can ensure that your family will be spared the burden of making difficult decisions during a challenging time.Immediate Need Assistance: Here When You Need Us MostIn a time of immediate need, Jefferson Memorial is always available to help. The funeral home operates 24/7 to assist families in Pittsburgh and the South Hills area, providing support, guidance, and expert care during lifes most difficult moments. Whether you need to make arrangements immediately or simply have questions about your options, our Jefferson Memorial staff is here to help with sensitivity and professionalism.Why Choose Jefferson Memorial?Trusted Legacy: Jefferson Memorial has been a cornerstone of the Pittsburgh community for over 95 years, offering unmatched service and care to families during their most difficult times.Comprehensive Services: From pre-planning to funeral services, cremation, burial, and memorialization, Jefferson Memorial offers a one-stop solution for all your needs.Beautiful, Serene Grounds: The cemeterys 180-acre certified arboretum offers a stunning natural setting that provides comfort and solace to families.Veteran and Pet Services: Special sections and memorials to honor veterans and pets.Personalized Memorials: From keepsake jewelry to custom urns, Jefferson Memorial offers unique ways to memorialize your loved ones.Whether you are planning ahead or need immediate assistance, Jefferson Memorial Cemetery, Funeral Home, Crematory & Arboretum is here to serve you. Our expert team is ready to guide you every step of the way. Contact us today at (412) 655-4501 or visit our website for more information about the services they offer and how we can help create a meaningful and lasting tribute for your loved one.

Jefferson Memorial Cemetery & Funeral Home

Funeral Cremation & Mortuary Services 401 Curry Hollow Road, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, 15236

When it comes to honoring your loved ones with dignity and care, Jefferson Memorial Cemetery, Funeral Home, Crematory & Arboretum stands as a trusted name in Pittsburghs South Hills. For nearly a century, this family-owned business has been dedicated to providing compassionate, personalized services to help families navigate lifes most difficult moments. Whether you're planning ahead or in immediate need, Jefferson Memorial offers everything you need to create lasting memories for your loved ones with unparalleled service and attention to detail.A Legacy of Service and TraditionFounded in 1929, Jefferson Memorial is a fourth-generation, veteran-owened, family-operated cemetery, funeral home, and crematory. With over 180 beautifully landscaped acres and a commitment to exceptional service, it has become one of the largest and most respected privately-owned cemeteries in the country. Whether you're seeking traditional burial, cremation services, or customized memorialization options, Jefferson Memorial has been a beacon of reliability and trust for families throughout Pittsburgh and beyond. With its stunning location, dedicated staff, and a comprehensive range of services, this cemetery and funeral home can meet the needs of every family, no matter their wishes or cultural traditions.Comprehensive Funeral Services Tailored to Your NeedsAt Jefferson Memorial, youll find a full-service funeral home thats equipped to handle every detail with care. The funeral home offers professional and sensitive services, whether you are pre-planning a ceremony or in immediate need of assistance. The facility includes four spacious visitation rooms, a welcoming hospitality room, and even a dedicated childrens area to ensure that all members of your family are comfortable during this emotional time.What sets Jefferson Memorial apart is its seamless integration of funeral home, crematory, and cemetery services. With an on-site crematory, your loved ones remain under the care of the funeral homes compassionate staff throughout the entire process, which ensures a stress-free and respectful experience from beginning to end. The funeral home also offers a range of personalized memorial options, including cremation jewelry, benches, keepsake urns, and much more, so you can create a tribute that reflects the unique life of your loved one.Beautiful Grounds with a Peaceful, Natural SettingSet on 180 acres, Jefferson Memorial Cemetery offers a beautiful and unique environment for families to reflect, remember, and honor their loved ones. The meticulously maintained grounds are more than just a cemetery; they are a certified Level II arboretum featuring a diverse array of trees, flowers, and plants that create a peaceful atmosphere conducive to healing and remembrance.The cemetery features 47 beautifully landscaped burial gardens, including dedicated sections for children and veterans. This variety ensures that families have multiple options for burial, including personalized memorials and private estates that reflect individual life stories. Jefferson Memorial also offers unique sections, such as a shared space for both pets and people, acknowledging the deep bonds we share with our animal companions.A Trusted Crematory Service You Can Rely OnFor those who prefer cremation, Jefferson Memorial is proud to have its own state-of-the-art crematory on-site. This exclusive service ensures that your loved ones remain in the care of the Jefferson Memorial family throughout the entire cremation process. With the highest standards of respect and care, Jefferson Memorial offers families peace of mind, knowing that all services are performed by a trusted team in a safe, professional environment.The funeral home offers a variety of cremation memorialization options to help you honor your loved one in a meaningful way. Whether you choose cremation jewelry, personalized urns, or Parting Stones solidified stones made from cremated remains you can create a tribute that beautifully reflects your loved ones life.Commemorating the Lives of Veterans and PetsJefferson Memorial is deeply committed to honoring those who have served in the military, and as such, offers special sections for veterans, ensuring that their sacrifices are forever remembered. These veteran sections, along with the cemeterys personalized memorials, serve as a fitting tribute to the men and women who have served this country.Additionally, Jefferson Memorial recognizes the importance of pets in the lives of families and offers dedicated pet sections within the cemetery. These sections provide families with a peaceful resting place for their beloved animal companions. Whether you choose to bury your pet individually or alongside your family members, Jefferson Memorial ensures that every member of your family no matter their species is cared for and remembered with respect.Pre-Planning Services: Giving You Peace of MindPlanning ahead not only alleviates stress on your loved ones, but it also ensures that your wishes are honored. Jefferson Memorial provides pre-planning services to help you make the necessary arrangements in advance. Their compassionate and licensed team is available to discuss options, assist with financial planning, and guide you through the process, ensuring that every detail is taken care of long before the time of need. By pre-planning with Jefferson Memorial, you can ensure that your family will be spared the burden of making difficult decisions during a challenging time.Immediate Need Assistance: Here When You Need Us MostIn a time of immediate need, Jefferson Memorial is always available to help. The funeral home operates 24/7 to assist families in Pittsburgh and the South Hills area, providing support, guidance, and expert care during lifes most difficult moments. Whether you need to make arrangements immediately or simply have questions about your options, our Jefferson Memorial staff is here to help with sensitivity and professionalism.Why Choose Jefferson Memorial?Trusted Legacy: Jefferson Memorial has been a cornerstone of the Pittsburgh community for over 95 years, offering unmatched service and care to families during their most difficult times.Comprehensive Services: From pre-planning to funeral services, cremation, burial, and memorialization, Jefferson Memorial offers a one-stop solution for all your needs.Beautiful, Serene Grounds: The cemeterys 180-acre certified arboretum offers a stunning natural setting that provides comfort and solace to families.Veteran and Pet Services: Special sections and memorials to honor veterans and pets.Personalized Memorials: From keepsake jewelry to custom urns, Jefferson Memorial offers unique ways to memorialize your loved ones.Whether you are planning ahead or need immediate assistance, Jefferson Memorial Cemetery, Funeral Home, Crematory & Arboretum is here to serve you. Our expert team is ready to guide you every step of the way. Contact us today at (412) 655-4501 or visit our website for more information about the services they offer and how we can help create a meaningful and lasting tribute for your loved one.