Get Them Talking: Start ‘The Conversation’

Posted on

Oct 12, 2017

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The best gift you can give the people you love is an honest and unflinching discussion about death and end-of-life choices. Its not something you want to talk about or they want to hear. Thats what makes it a priceless gift.
As general manager for VITAS Healthcare in Chicago South, I have seen first-hand the anguish, pain and cost that can result when patients can no longer tell their loved ones what kind of care, which heroic measures, they would accept or reject.

The best way to get others to discuss end-of-life care is to do so yourself. Start by considering the following:

If you had a terminal condition and there was no reasonable probability of recovery, what kind of treatments or life-saving measures would you consent to or refuse?
If you werent able to speak for yourself, would your loved ones know what you want?

Talk to your familybriefly, in depth, frequently, lightly, seriouslyabout your wishes. And dont wait for the subject to come up; take control.

Milestone eventsweddings, anniversaries, birthdays, retirement, graduation, a downsizing moveand holidays are great times to hold what-if conversations. Announce your subject in advance, keep it light, encourage everyone to air their thoughts. Make it clear that these are personal decisions that must be honored, when the time comes, by all.

Include younger and older generations in the conversation. Take it slowly if there is resistance, but return to the topic; it might be easier next time. Include a religious adviser or longtime friend if that would make the others more comfortable.

There is lots of online information about putting your wishes in writing. Try agingwithdignity.org and caringinfo.org.

By Cathy Carlson, General Manager, VITAS Healthcare, Chicagoland South

As a pioneer and leader in the national hospice movement since 1978, VITAS is the leading provider of end-of-life care and is committed to ensuring that people can access these, and other important resources. VITAS serves more than 700 Chicagoland patients and their families daily from nine Chicagoland offices, from Peoria to downtown Chicago. For information about VITAS Healthcare, please visit VITAS.com or call 708-781-4400

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