Having Difficult Conversations With Your Parents

Posted on

Jul 19, 2012

Book/Edition

Utah - Utah

Share This
Nothing makes adult children more nervous than finding the right words to use when bringing up concerns about their loved one. Maybe you are worried because your dad is living alone and think he would be better off in an assisted living apartment, or you think that your mom should not be driving anymore. You might be struggling with how to bring up the conversation about end of life wishes. These conversations can be very challenging and frustrating.
So how do you start to talk to your parents about the future? For most of us it would seem natural to start by making a plan or a list of topics to check off. While a plan is important, it is equally important to realize that often we may be so focused on what we want to say that the conversation becomes one-sided, and we may not take time to consider our parents feelings. Resistance breeds resistance; if you approach a difficult conversation with an ultimatum in mind you probably will be met with an equal amount of challenge. However; if you approach it as Steven Covey would advise seeking first to understand, you may be surprised and pleased at the result.
The most effective approach to difficult conversations is to begin by asking your parent about his or her feelings. Some examples are How does it make you feel when I talk to you about moving? You may even try a validation statement like, You hate the idea of depending on others to drive you around. I would be upset too. The more honest conversations you have, the more positive results you get when it is decision time.
Remember we do not grow old in a day and likewise, the process of preparing for the future is not something that can be accomplished in one afternoon. So be prepared to start small. If you have a conversation on a sensitive subject, be ready for a no. This happens a lot. Do not become discouraged; give them time to think about it. Respect the fact that, change to many people, is a kin to loss. Letting go may take some time.
There are times when you will not have the luxury of taking your time. This may be when your parent is unable to reason due to Dementia or if your parent is in physical danger and cannot be independent at home. At times like these it would be wise to seek out a professional to guide you. Social workers and case managers are readily available in most health care settings. Using the skills of a professional to act as a mediator, facilitator or advocate is wise and can help preserve precious family relationships.
The need to face some difficult conversations may never go away, however; these ideas may help bring you closer to your loved one and make the process more gratifying.
Editors Note: This article was submitted by Natalie Moyle MA, LAPC.
Natalie is a Geriatric Care Manager with Home Option Personal Care and may be reached at 801-274-9100 or by email at nataliem@homeoptionpersonalcare.com. For more information visit www.careutah.com

Other Articles You May Like

The Heart of Senior Move Management - Easing the Transition

In the realm of relocation, Senior Move Management stands as a compassionate guide, offering a steady hand through the intricate process of transitioning elderly individuals from one home to another. At its core, this service revolves around understanding the unique needs and emotions of seniors, recognizing that such transitions can be emotionally charged and physically demanding. The heart of Senior Move Management lies in its ability to alleviate the stress and anxiety associated with moving, crafting a seamless and personalized experience that takes into account not just the logistics of relocation but also the emotional well-being of the seniors involved.Navigating the journey of senior move management involves a delicate blend of empathy, organization, and expertise. From coordinating logistics such as packing, sorting, and transportation to providing emotional support during the farewell to a familiar place, these professionals serve as invaluable companions throughout the process. Their commitment to preserving the dignity and comfort of seniors during a significant life change ensures that the transition is not merely a change of residence, but a thoughtful journey that respects and honors the unique stories and memories that seniors carry with them. In the heart of Senior Move Management lies the art of transforming a potentially overwhelming experience into a beautiful, harmonious transition, creating a path forward filled with warmth, understanding, and a sense of home.

From House to Home: The Role of Senior Move Managers

Transitioning from a house to a home is a significant life event, especially for seniors who may be downsizing or relocating. Senior Move Managers play a crucial role in facilitating this process, serving as expert guides to help seniors and their families navigate the complexities of moving. These professionals bring a compassionate and understanding approach to the often-emotional task of downsizing, providing valuable assistance in sorting belongings, coordinating logistics, and ensuring a smooth transition to a new living space. By offering practical support and emotional reassurance, Senior Move Managers not only streamline the physical aspects of the move but also contribute to creating a sense of comfort and familiarity in the new environment. Their expertise makes the journey from a house to a home more manageable, easing the stress associated with this significant life change.One key tip for those considering the services of a Senior Move Manager is to engage with them early in the planning process. By involving these professionals from the outset, seniors and their families can benefit from personalized guidance and strategic advice. Senior Move Managers can help create a customized plan tailored to the unique needs and preferences of the individual, ensuring a thoughtful and organized transition. This proactive approach not only minimizes the challenges associated with downsizing but also enhances the overall experience of turning a new residence into a warm and welcoming home. Through their expertise and support, Senior Move Managers empower seniors to embrace the next chapter of their lives with confidence and peace of mind.

Compassionate Senior Move Management: A New Chapter Begins

In the realm of compassionate Senior Move Management, each story unfolds as a poignant journey where a new chapter for seniors begins with care and understanding. These narratives often center around professionals who go beyond logistics, recognizing the emotional weight of transitioning from long-held homes to new, more manageable spaces. The essence lies in the empathy with which Senior Move Managers approach this process, acknowledging the sentimental value attached to belongings and memories. By fostering a sense of trust and open communication, these experts guide seniors through a seamless transition, ensuring that the move isn't just a change of residence but a heartfelt initiation into a fresh and vibrant phase of life.For those embarking on similar journeys, a valuable tip emerges from the heart of these stories: prioritize the emotional well-being of seniors throughout the moving process. Take the time to understand their unique needs, listen to their stories, and involve them in decision-making. This approach not only eases the practical aspects of the move but also nurtures a positive emotional experience, marking the beginning of a new chapter with warmth, understanding, and a sense of optimism.