Having the Tough Conversation with Your Parents about Senior Living

Learn how Minnesota family members may be able to receive payment for caring for an aging parent through self-directed care and how PICS helps families manage the process. For many Minnesota families, caring for an aging parent begins gradually.Maybe you start by picking up groceries once a week. Then you begin driving Mom to medical appointments, organizing medications or helping with laundry. Before long, you may be preparing meals, helping with personal care, checking in every day and rearranging your own work schedule around your parent's needs.At some point, many families ask an important question:Can a family member actually get paid for providing this care?In Minnesota, the answer may be yes.Depending on your loved one's needs, financial eligibility and the program they qualify for, certain self-directed care programs can allow family members or other trusted individuals to be paid for providing approved caregiving services.For families trying to help an older adult remain safely at home, understanding these options can make a significant difference.What Is Self-Directed Care?Traditional home care usually involves an agency hiring caregivers and determining who will provide services.Self-directed care works differently.It gives the person receiving services or an authorized representative greater control over how care is provided. Depending on the program, participants may be able to select their caregivers, help determine schedules and decide how approved funds are used to meet their individual needs.That caregiver might be someone the older adult already knows and trusts.In some situations, it can be an adult child, grandchild, spouse, other relative, friend or neighbor.For an older adult who wants to remain in familiar surroundings, receiving help from someone they already know can provide both practical assistance and peace of mind.Minnesota Programs Can Help Seniors Remain at HomeMinnesota offers several programs designed to help eligible older adults and people with disabilities receive services in their homes and communities rather than moving into institutional care.One important option is Consumer Directed Community Supports (CDCS).CDCS is available through certain Minnesota Home and Community-Based Services waiver programs. It allows participants to develop an individualized plan for using an approved budget to support their independence at home and in the community.For adults age 65 and older, CDCS may be available through programs such as Minnesota's Elderly Waiver (EW) and Alternative Care (AC) programs.Both EW and AC are designed for adults 65 and older who meet a nursing-home level of care but want to continue living in their homes and communities.Depending upon the individual's approved plan, services may include caregiving, homemaking, meals, respite, transportation, personal emergency response systems, chore services, certain home modifications and other supports.Most importantly for many families, CDCS may allow approved funds to be used to pay certain family members or other trusted individuals for caregiving.Could an Adult Child Be Paid to Care for a Parent?Potentially, yes.Under CDCS, approved caregivers can include adult children and grandchildren who provide care for an aging family member. Other trusted people, including friends and neighbors, may also be eligible to become paid caregivers.Spouses may also be able to provide paid caregiving under applicable self-directed programs, although specific rules depend on the program and circumstances.Another Minnesota program families may encounter is Community First Services and Supports (CFSS).CFSS is Minnesota's newer home-care program that is replacing Personal Care Assistance (PCA) and Consumer Support Grant (CSG) services as participants transition through their annual assessments.CFSS provides additional self-directed options, and under certain circumstances spouses can provide paid caregiving services.Because every person's eligibility and service plan are different, families should not assume that caregiving will automatically qualify for payment. An assessment and approved service plan are required.Why Paying Family Caregivers Can MatterFamily caregivers often provide an enormous amount of unpaid assistance.A daughter may reduce her hours at work so she can help her father several afternoons each week. A son may drive across town every morning to prepare breakfast and make sure medications are taken. A spouse may spend much of the day helping with dressing, bathing, meals and mobility.Families frequently do these things because they love the person they're caring for.But caregiving also has a financial impact.Work hours may be reduced. Careers can be interrupted. Transportation costs increase. Caregivers may find themselves balancing their own children, household responsibilities and finances while also caring for an aging parent.When an eligible program allows a family member to become a paid caregiver, it recognizes that caregiving is real work.It can also make it more realistic for a family to continue supporting a loved one at home.Where Does PICS Fit Into This?This is where PICS Partners in Community Supports can help.PICS is a Minnesota nonprofit organization and a subsidiary of Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota. It has provided self-directed care support to Minnesota individuals and families since 1999.PICS serves as a Financial Management Service (FMS) provider.That sounds complicated, but the idea is fairly simple.When a family chooses a self-directed program, someone still needs to handle the administrative and financial responsibilities associated with employing caregivers and using government-approved funds.PICS helps participants with responsibilities such as:Hiring and staffingProcessing caregiver payrollProcessing approved expense reimbursementsAccounting and financial reportingTax and revenue informationBudget trackingTraining and other employment-related requirementsInstead of families trying to figure out payroll, taxes, reporting requirements and reimbursement procedures themselves, PICS helps manage those details.That allows families to spend more time focused on what matters most supporting the person they love.Choice Can Be an Important Part of Aging in PlaceFor many older adults, remaining at home isn't simply about staying in a particular house.It's about maintaining independence, routine, dignity and connection to their community.Being able to choose who comes into the home can be especially important.Some seniors may be uncomfortable having an unfamiliar caregiver assist with personal tasks. Others may have language, cultural or communication preferences. And some simply feel safer receiving help from someone they've known for years.Self-directed services can give eligible individuals more control over these decisions.Instead of fitting the person into a predetermined care arrangement, the goal is to build supports around the person's individual needs.How Does a Minnesota Family Get Started?The first step is determining whether the person needing care qualifies for an applicable Minnesota program.For older adults, this may involve eligibility for Minnesota Medical Assistance and the Elderly Waiver or determining whether the individual qualifies for the Alternative Care program.An assessment is generally required to determine the person's needs and eligibility.Families can begin by contacting their county or Minnesota's Senior LinkAge Line to learn about available programs and the assessment process.If a self-directed program such as CDCS or CFSS is appropriate, the participant will work with the necessary care professionals to develop an approved service plan and select service providers.PICS can then help families navigate the financial-management side of self-directed services.Don't Assume Your Family Doesn't QualifyOne of the biggest mistakes families can make is assuming these programs aren't available to them.If you're already spending significant time caring for a parent, spouse or other loved one, it is worth asking what Minnesota programs may be available.You may discover options that help your loved one remain at home while providing additional support for the people who are already helping them.Every situation is different, and eligibility is never automatic. But asking the question is an important first step.Frequently Asked QuestionsCan I get paid to take care of my elderly parent in Minnesota?Possibly. Certain Minnesota self-directed programs may allow eligible family members, including adult children, to be paid for approved caregiving services. The person receiving care must qualify for the applicable program, and the services must be part of an approved plan.Can a senior choose his or her own caregiver?Self-directed programs are designed to give participants greater choice and control over their services. Depending on the program, participants may be able to select family members, friends or other trusted individuals as caregivers.Does PICS determine whether my parent qualifies for Medicaid or an Elderly Waiver?No. Program eligibility is determined through Minnesota's applicable state, county and assessment processes. PICS serves as a Financial Management Service provider for people participating in eligible self-directed programs.What does PICS do once a family is enrolled?Depending upon the program, PICS can assist with caregiver hiring and staffing, payroll, reimbursements, accounting, reporting, taxes, training and budget management.Where can families learn more?Minnesota families interested in self-directed care can contact their county, Senior LinkAge Line or appropriate care coordinator to learn about eligibility and available programs. Families can also contact PICS to learn more about the self-directed programs and Financial Management Services they support.More Choice. More Support. More Independence.Caring for an aging loved one can be rewarding, but it can also require an enormous commitment of time, energy and financial resources.Minnesota families may have more options than they realize.For eligible older adults, self-directed care can provide greater choice over who provides assistance and how approved services are delivered. For family caregivers, it may also create an opportunity to receive compensation for caregiving they are already providing.PICS Partners in Community Supports helps Minnesota families manage the financial and administrative details of self-directed care so they can focus on helping their loved ones live safely and independently at home.Learn more about PICS and explore resources for Minnesota seniors and caregivers through Seniors Blue Book.  For more information contact us at  888.874.7427 or visit our website at  https://pics.lssmn.org/

When someone you love needs help, stepping in often feels natural.You pick up groceries. Drive Mom to a doctor's appointment. Stop by Dad's house to make dinner. Help with laundry. Call in the morning to make sure medications were taken. Check again at night to be sure everything is okay.At first, these things may not feel like "caregiving."They're simply what families do.But over time, a few helpful tasks can quietly turn into a second job.And somewhere along the way, the caregiver's own needs can begin moving further and further down the list.Family Caregiving Can Be Rewarding and ExhaustingCaring for an aging parent or spouse can be one of life's most meaningful roles.It can also be physically and emotionally demanding.Many family caregivers are balancing several responsibilities at once. They may be working, raising children, managing their own household and trying to maintain relationships while also caring for an aging loved one.There may be appointments to coordinate, meals to prepare, medications to remember, household chores to complete and important decisions to make.And even when the caregiver isn't physically with their loved one, the worry doesn't necessarily stop.Did Mom eat today?Did Dad remember his appointment?What if she falls when I'm not there?Should I stop by again tonight?That constant responsibility can take a toll.Watch for Signs of Caregiver BurnoutCaregiver stress doesn't always arrive dramatically.Like many changes associated with aging, it can happen gradually.You may begin feeling more tired than usual. You might become impatient over small things or have difficulty sleeping because your mind won't shut off.You may stop exercising, seeing friends or doing activities you once enjoyed because there simply isn't enough time.Some caregivers begin feeling resentful and then immediately feel guilty for feeling that way.These emotions don't mean you don't love the person you're caring for.They may simply mean you need support, too.What Is Respite Care?Respite care provides temporary assistance for an older adult so the primary family caregiver can step away for a period of time.That break might be used to go to work, attend an appointment, spend time with friends, exercise, run errands or simply rest.For some families, respite care may mean having professional assistance for a few hours each week.For others, it may be used occasionally when the regular caregiver has another commitment or simply needs some time away.The purpose is simple:Give family caregivers time to recharge while knowing their loved one is receiving compassionate care at home.Taking a Break Is Part of a Sustainable Care PlanFamily caregivers sometimes feel guilty about asking for help.They may think:"I should be able to handle this."Or:"Mom doesn't want anyone else helping her."But caregiving shouldn't depend on one person doing everything indefinitely.Think about it another way.If you become exhausted, overwhelmed or ill, who will provide the care?Building additional support into the plan can help make caregiving more sustainable over the long term.It also gives the older adult an opportunity to develop a relationship with another trusted caregiver before an emergency occurs.Respite Care Can Benefit the Older Adult, TooRespite care isn't only about helping the family caregiver.It can also be good for the person receiving care.A Comfort Keepers caregiver can provide companionship and conversation while assisting with everyday activities such as meal preparation, light housekeeping, personal care and transportation.Depending on the individual's interests and abilities, the visit might also include taking a walk, playing cards, working on a puzzle, listening to music or simply enjoying a cup of coffee and conversation.This fits naturally with Comfort Keepers' Interactive Caregiving philosophy encouraging older adults to remain involved and engaged in everyday life.Instead of simply having someone "watch" Mom or Dad, respite care can become another source of companionship and meaningful interaction.Start Before You're Completely ExhaustedFamilies often wait too long to ask for help.They wait until the caregiver is overwhelmed.Or until Mom falls.Or Dad is hospitalized.Or someone simply can't keep up anymore.But home care doesn't have to begin with a crisis.Introducing a caregiver earlier can make the transition easier for everyone.Perhaps start with a few hours while the family caregiver runs errands or attends an appointment.Over time, the older adult may begin looking forward to the caregiver's visits.And the family caregiver may discover something equally important:It's okay to step away.Use Your Break for Something That Restores YouIf you arrange respite care, try not to fill every minute with more responsibilities.Yes, there will always be errands.But sometimes the best use of a break is something simple.Have lunch with a friend.Take a walk.Read a book.Go to your own medical appointment.Spend time with your spouse.Play with your grandchildren.Or take an afternoon nap without worrying that someone needs you.Caregivers need opportunities to simply be themselves again.You Can Still Be the Caregiver Without Doing EverythingBringing professional home care into the picture doesn't replace the family.It supports the family.You still know your parent's history, personality, preferences and routines better than anyone.You are still the daughter, son, spouse or trusted family member.But you don't necessarily have to be the cook, driver, housekeeper, companion and caregiver every hour of every day.Sometimes accepting help allows families to reclaim something caregiving can unintentionally take away:the relationship itself.Instead of spending every visit working through a list of chores, you may once again have time to simply sit with Mom.Talk with Dad.Look through photographs.Share a meal.Laugh together.And simply be family.Caring for the Caregiver MattersGood caregiving isn't measured by how much one person can handle alone.It's about creating a support system that works for both the older adult and the people who love them.Comfort Keepers serving Osseo and surrounding Twin Cities communities provides personalized in-home care and respite support that can give family caregivers time to rest and recharge while their loved one receives compassionate assistance at home.Because sometimes the best way to continue caring for someone else is to make sure you're caring for yourself, too.Learn more about Comfort Keepers and additional Minnesota senior resources through Seniors Blue Book, or call Comfort Keepers at 763-273-4207.  

Learn how personalized in-home care can help Minnesota seniors stay safe, connected and independent while continuing to live in the homes they love.  For many older adults, home is more than four walls and an address. It is the place where children were raised, holidays were celebrated, neighbors became friends and familiar routines were built over many years.That is why the idea of leaving home can be difficult, even when everyday tasks are starting to become a little harder.The good news is that needing help does not automatically mean a senior has to move. With the right support, many older adults are able to remain in their own homes safely and comfortably while continuing to make their own choices and live life on their terms.For families in Osseo, Maple Grove, Plymouth, Brooklyn Park and surrounding northwest Twin Cities communities, in-home care can provide that extra layer of support.Independence Can Look Different as We AgeWe often think of independence as doing everything ourselves.But as we get older, independence may simply mean being able to stay involved in the decisions that matter.Maybe Mom still enjoys choosing her own meals, but standing at the kitchen counter for an hour has become tiring. Dad may still want to run errands and visit friends, but he no longer feels comfortable driving.A little help can fill those gaps.Someone might assist with meal preparation, transportation, light household tasks or personal care while still encouraging the older adult to participate as much as possible.That approach can preserve a person's confidence instead of taking over.Comfort Keepers calls this Interactive Caregiving, which focuses on keeping seniors engaged in their own lives rather than simply doing everything for them.That might mean preparing lunch together, taking a short walk, folding laundry while visiting or heading out for an afternoon errand.These may seem like small things, but they can help an older adult continue to feel useful, involved and connected.Often, Families Notice the Little Things FirstThere usually isn't one moment when a family suddenly knows that a parent needs help.More often, it happens gradually.Perhaps the refrigerator isn't as well stocked as it used to be. Mom seems to be eating cereal for dinner more often. Dad has stopped going to the coffee shop because driving feels stressful.You may notice unopened mail, laundry piling up or appointments being missed.Maybe the house just doesn't look quite the way it normally does.None of these things necessarily mean that a senior can no longer live alone. They may simply be signs that certain parts of everyday life have become more difficult.And that is often the best time to talk about help before there is a fall, hospitalization or other crisis.Home Care Can Start SmallOne of the things families sometimes misunderstand about home care is that it does not have to begin with someone in the house all day.Some older adults may only need a few hours of help each week.Maybe a caregiver stops by to help with groceries, prepare a few meals and spend some time visiting.Someone else may need help with bathing, dressing and getting ready for the day.Needs can also change over time.A person who begins with occasional companionship may later benefit from more regular assistance. Another senior may only need short-term help after surgery or a hospital stay.The goal is to find the amount of support that makes sense for that particular person.Companionship Matters More Than We Sometimes RealizeOne of the biggest challenges of aging at home can be loneliness.As people get older, their social circles may become smaller. A spouse may pass away. Friends may move. Driving may become more difficult. Health issues can make it harder to get out.Before long, days that used to be filled with people and activities can become very quiet.That is one reason companionship is such an important part of home care.A caregiver might share coffee and conversation, take a walk together, look through family photos, play cards or simply sit and talk.Those interactions can mean a great deal, especially for someone who lives alone.For adult children who live across town or across the country it can also bring peace of mind knowing that someone is regularly checking in and spending meaningful time with Mom or Dad.Familiar Surroundings Can Be ComfortingThere is something reassuring about waking up in your own bedroom and knowing exactly where everything is.For older adults, familiar surroundings can provide a sense of stability that is difficult to replace.Their favorite chair is there.The neighbor they have known for 20 years is next door.The family pictures are on the walls.For someone experiencing memory changes, that familiarity can be especially comforting.Home care allows an older adult to stay in the environment they know while receiving additional support with the things that have become challenging.Home Care Can Help the Whole FamilyWhen a parent begins needing help, adult children often step in without thinking twice.At first, it may be picking up groceries or driving to a doctor appointment.Then there are meals, medications, laundry, household chores and more frequent visits.Over time, one family member can find themselves carrying most of the responsibility.Professional home care can take some of that pressure off.It does not replace family involvement. It can actually make family time better.Instead of spending every visit cleaning the house or running errands, an adult daughter may finally have time to sit and have lunch with her mother. A son can visit his father without feeling like every conversation is about what still needs to be done.Sometimes that shift alone can help families feel like families again.The Right Support Should Feel PersonalNo two seniors need exactly the same kind of help.One person may need transportation and companionship.Another may need assistance with bathing and meals.Someone else may need more extensive support throughout the day.That is why in-home care should be built around the individual rather than forcing every client into the same routine.Comfort Keepers of Osseo provides personalized care based on each person's needs, preferences and daily habits.For older adults throughout Osseo, Maple Grove, Plymouth, Brooklyn Park and nearby communities, the right support can make staying at home more realistic and more comfortable.Aging at home is not about proving you can do everything by yourself.Sometimes, the most independent choice a person can make is accepting just enough help to continue living the life they want.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat does aging in place mean?Aging in place generally means continuing to live in your own home or chosen residence as you get older, even if you begin needing some additional support.Can home care start with just a few hours a week?Yes. Care plans can often be designed around the individual's needs and may begin with limited assistance.What can an in-home caregiver help with?Depending on the care plan, assistance may include companionship, meal preparation, transportation, personal care, mobility support and everyday household routines.Can care increase if a senior's needs change?Yes. Home-care needs can be reassessed as circumstances change.How do families learn more about care options?Families can contact Comfort Keepers of Osseo to discuss their specific situation and the type of support that may be appropriate.  Call us today at  (763) 273-4207.