Helping Yourself When Someone You Love Has Died
Dignity Memorial- MSC Locations
Dec 03, 2021
Florida - Sarasota, Bradenton & Charlotte Counties
Email US
Click to Email Us
Someone you love has died. You are beginning a journey that is often frightening, painful and lonely. No words, written or spoken, can take away the pain you now feel. This information may bring comfort and encouragement as you commit to helping yourself heal.
Perhaps you've already heard, In time, you'll feel better. Actually, time alone has nothing to do with healing. To heal, you must be willing to understand the grief process and how it will affect you today, tomorrow and forever.
As scary as this may sound, you will never get over your grief. Instead, you will learn to live with it. This does not mean that you will never be happy again. If you allow yourself the time and compassion to mourn, if you truly work through your grief, you too, will heal and find continued meaning in living and loving.
What you may feel
Although grief is different for every person and every circumstance, the following emotions and behaviors are experienced by many:
Shock
You may feel dazed and stunned, especially immediately following the death.
Confusion
You may feel a sense of ongoing confusion, where disconnected thoughts race through your mind and you are unable to complete tasks.
Anxiety
You may fear that you or others will die. You may doubt your ability to survive and feel anxious about everyday realities, such as work or finances.
Anger
Anger and hate, blame, terror, resentment, rage and jealousy are normal responses. These explosive emotions provide a vehicle for you to protest your loss.
Guilt
You may feel guilt or regret. These are natural reactions.
Sadness
Weeks or often months will pass before you fully experience the depths of your sadness. This slow progression is natural and gives you time to embrace your loss.
Physical
You may experience trouble sleeping and have low energy. Other changes may include muscle aches and pains, shortness of breath, tightness in throat or chest, digestive problems, sensitivity to noise, heart palpitations, headaches, increased allergic reactions, appetite changes, weight loss or gain, agitation and generalized tension.
The reconciliation needs of mourning
While your grief journey will be unique, all mourners have certain needs that must be met if they are to heal. I call the most central of these The Reconciliation Needs of Mourning. Do not interpret these needs as orderly steps. Instead, you will probably bounce back and forth from one to another, and maybe even work on 2 or more simultaneously.
Acknowledge the reality of the death.
Whether sudden or anticipated, acknowledging the full reality of the loss may take weeks or months. You may move back and forth between protesting and acknowledging the reality of the death. You may replay events surrounding the death and confront memories, both good and bad. Its as if each time you talk it out, the event is a little more real.
Move toward the pain of the loss.
Expressing your intense thoughts and feelings about the death is a difficult but important need. You will probably need to dose yourself when experiencing the pain of your loss. In other words, you cannot or should not try to meet this need all at once.
Through memory, continue the relationship with the person who died.
Embracing your memories both happy and sad can be a very slow and, at times, painful process. But remembering the past makes hoping for the future possible.
Develop a new self-identity.
Part of your self-identity comes from the relationships you have created with others. When someone with whom you have a relationship dies, your self-identity naturally changes. As bereaved persons move forward in their grief journeys, many discover that some aspects of their self-identities have positively changed. For example, you may feel more confident or more open to lifels challenges.
Search for meaning.
You will naturally question the meaning and purpose of life. You must come to terms with these questions if you are to progress in your grief journey. Move at your own pace. Recognize that allowing yourself to hurt and find ongoing meaning in your life will eventually allow healing to occur.
Continue to receive support from others.
You will never stop needing the love and support of others because you never get over your grief. As you learn to reconcile your grief, however, you will need help less intensely and less often. You will always need your friends and family members to listen and support you in your continuing grief journey. Support groups can be another long-term helping resource.
Reach out for help.
As you embrace the pain of your loss, healing requires the support and understanding of those around you. Perhaps the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself is reach out for help. Friends and family members will probably form the core of your support system. You may also find comfort in talking to a minister or other church leader. A professional counselor may also be very helpful and an objective listener. For many grieving people, support groups are one of their best resources, where they can connect with others who have experienced similar thoughts and feelings.
About the author
Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., is a noted author, teacher and grief counselor known internationally for outstanding educational contributions to both adult and childhood grief. He serves as director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and is on the faculty at the University of Colorado Medical Schools Department of Family Medicine.
Other Articles You May Like
A Guide to Geriatric Care Managers in Manatee, Sarasota, and Charlotte Counties
Providing Essential Support for Seniors and Their FamiliesAs seniors age, many families find themselves navigating the complexities of health care, daily living needs, and overall well-being. In these situations, a Geriatric Care Manager (GCM) can be a valuable resource. GCMs are trained professionals who assist families in managing the care of older adults, especially those with complex health conditions. They help ensure that seniors receive the right care, at the right time, in a way that aligns with their needs and goals.If you are a resident of Manatee, Sarasota, or Charlotte Counties in Florida, this guide will explore the important role of Geriatric Care Managers and how they can assist you and your loved ones in managing senior care effectively. What is a Geriatric Care Manager?A Geriatric Care Manager is a health and human services professional who specializes in aging and the care needs of seniors. These professionals are often social workers, nurses, or other health care providers with advanced training in geriatric care. Their main job is to help families manage the care of elderly relatives by assessing their needs, creating care plans, and coordinating services across a variety of healthcare providers.Geriatric Care Managers are particularly helpful when families are dealing with complex medical needs, or when there are multiple care providers involved in a senior's health care plan. They take the guesswork out of coordinating care and help families ensure that their loved ones are receiving the most appropriate and effective services. How Can a Geriatric Care Manager Help?Geriatric Care Managers provide a wide range of services tailored to the unique needs of older adults. Some of the key areas where they assist include:Assessment and Care Planning: GCMs conduct comprehensive assessments of a senior's physical, emotional, and social needs. Based on this, they develop personalized care plans to meet those needs.Coordinating Care: One of the key roles of a GCM is to coordinate all aspects of a seniors care. This might involve managing doctors appointments, overseeing in-home care services, arranging for transportation, or ensuring that medication is taken properly.Advocacy: Geriatric Care Managers act as advocates for the elderly person, ensuring that their needs are communicated effectively to healthcare providers, family members, and other involved parties.Family Support and Education: Many families are not familiar with the intricacies of senior care. A GCM can provide educational support to help family members understand the aging process, available resources, and how to manage long-term care.Crisis Management: When a sudden change in health occurs, a GCM is trained to manage the situation and can step in quickly to arrange for the appropriate care. Why Do You Need a Geriatric Care Manager in Manatee, Sarasota, and Charlotte Counties?Living in Manatee, Sarasota, or Charlotte Counties offers seniors the benefits of a vibrant and supportive community, but the complexities of aging can still pose challenges. With a growing senior population in these counties, the need for professional help managing senior care has never been greater.Here are a few reasons why a Geriatric Care Manager can be an invaluable resource in the local area:Access to a wide range of resources: In a bustling area like Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte Counties, there are numerous healthcare providers, facilities, and support services. A GCM is familiar with the best local options and can navigate these choices to create the most effective care plan for your loved one.Managing long-distance caregiving: Many families in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte Counties find themselves in a situation where the primary caregiver is located out of state. A GCM can be a trusted local presence to ensure that care is being delivered properly.Specialized care options: Whether your loved one requires assistance with chronic conditions such as dementia, or they need rehabilitation after an injury, a Geriatric Care Manager can guide you to the right services in the local area.Support with aging in place: Many seniors prefer to remain in their own homes as they age. A GCM can help set up home care services, safety modifications, and other supports that make aging in place a safe and viable option. How to Find a Geriatric Care Manager in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte CountiesWhen choosing a Geriatric Care Manager, it is important to find someone who is experienced, knowledgeable, and a good fit for your family's needs. Here are some steps to take: Check credentials: Look for GCMs who are certified by the National Academy of Certified Care Managers (NACCM) or similar organizations. This ensures they have met professional standards and are qualified to offer services. Seek referrals: Ask for recommendations from healthcare providers, friends, or other family members who have worked with a GCM in the area. Evaluate experience: Its important that the GCM you choose has experience working with seniors who have the specific care needs of your loved one. Whether its managing chronic illness, cognitive decline, or simply providing assistance with daily activities, the right experience can make all the difference. Interview potential GCMs: Speak with the care managers you're considering to understand their approach to care, their availability, and their fees. Its important to find someone who you feel comfortable with and who understands your familys needs. For a list of trusted Geriatric Care Managers and other senior services in the Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte Counties area, explore the Seniors Blue Book directory: Browse Senior Resources in Sarasota, Manatee & Charlotte Counties Geriatric Care Manager Listings in Sarasota, Manatee &Charlotte Counties ConclusionA Geriatric Care Manager plays a crucial role in ensuring that seniors receive the care and support they need to thrive as they age. In Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte Counties, these professionals offer invaluable assistance to both seniors and their families, navigating the complexities of senior care, advocating for the elderly, and providing peace of mind. If you are considering a Geriatric Care Manager for your family, remember that you have a wealth of resources and options in the local area to help you make the best decision. Start your search today by exploring the Seniors Blue Book directory for trusted professionals who can guide you through every step of the aging process.
A Complete Guide to Long Term Care Insurance in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte County, Florida
Securing Your Future with the Right Long-Term Care CoverageWhen it comes to planning for the future, one of the most important considerations for seniors in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte County, Florida, is ensuring that they have access to the care they need as they age. Long term care insurance is a vital tool that can help protect your finances and provide peace of mind for you and your loved ones in the event that long-term care becomes necessary.In this guide, we will explain what long-term care insurance is, why its important, and how you can find the best policies available in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte County. What is Long Term Care Insurance?Long term care insurance is a type of insurance designed to cover the costs associated with long-term care services, which are not typically covered by regular health insurance or Medicare. These services can include assistance with daily activities such as bathing, dressing, eating, and other tasks that may become challenging due to aging, illness, or disability.There are two main types of long-term care insurance policies:Traditional long-term care insurance: This type of policy offers a set benefit amount that can be used for a variety of long-term care services, such as nursing homes, home care, and assisted living facilities.Hybrid policies: These policies combine long-term care coverage with other types of insurance, such as life insurance or annuities. The advantage of hybrid policies is that they can provide a death benefit if long-term care services are never needed.For seniors in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte County, having long-term care insurance can help ease the financial burden associated with paying for care as you age. Why is Long Term Care Insurance Important?As seniors approach their later years, the likelihood of needing some form of long-term care increases. Whether it's in-home care, assisted living, or nursing home care, these services can be costly. In Florida, the costs of long-term care services can vary depending on the type of care and the location.Here are some key reasons why long-term care insurance is crucial:Protection against high costs: The cost of long-term care in Florida can add up quickly, and Medicare doesnt cover most of these services. Long-term care insurance helps protect your savings and assets from being drained by the high cost of care.Peace of mind: With long-term care insurance, you dont have to rely solely on family members to provide care or to make difficult financial decisions in times of need.Flexibility: Long-term care insurance allows you to choose where you receive care, whether at home, in an assisted living facility, or in a nursing home.Preserves your independence: By covering the costs of in-home care, long-term care insurance allows you to stay at home longer, maintaining your independence and avoiding a move to a nursing home or assisted living facility. What Does Long Term Care Insurance Cover?Long-term care insurance can cover a wide range of services that help seniors with activities of daily living. Some of the services covered by long-term care insurance policies include:Home health care: Assistance with tasks like bathing, dressing, and meal preparation in your own home.Nursing home care: Skilled nursing services provided in a nursing home.Assisted living: Care provided in an assisted living facility that offers support with daily living activities.Adult day care: Programs that provide supervision and care during the day for seniors who live at home.Respite care: Temporary relief for family caregivers, allowing them to take a break from caregiving responsibilities.Before purchasing a long-term care insurance policy, it's important to understand the specific benefits it provides and whether they meet your needs. How to Choose the Right Long Term Care Insurance for YouChoosing the right long-term care insurance policy can be a daunting task, but its an essential step in protecting your future. Here are some tips to help you make an informed decision: Assess your needs: Consider how much care you may need in the future and whether the policy offers coverage for the types of care you anticipate needing. Compare policies: Look at multiple providers and compare the premiums, coverage, and benefits offered. Understand the costs: Evaluate the costs of premiums and whether the benefits of the policy outweigh the costs. Check for inflation protection: Ensure that the policy includes inflation protection, so your coverage keeps up with rising costs of care. Consult a professional: Work with an insurance agent or financial planner who can help you navigate the options and find the best policy for your needs. Finding Long Term Care Insurance Providers in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte CountyIf you are considering long-term care insurance, its essential to find a reputable provider in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte County, Florida. The Seniors Blue Book offers a comprehensive directory of local resources to help you explore different options and find trusted providers.You can start your search for long-term care insurance providers and other senior resources here: Explore Senior Resources in Sarasota, Manatee, and CharlotteCountyAdditionally, you can explore specific categories related to long-term care insurance, including health, housing, and home health options: Browse Home Health Providers and Senior Resources ConclusionLong-term care insurance is an essential part of financial planning for seniors in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte County. It offers protection against the high costs of care and provides the peace of mind that comes with knowing your needs will be met in the future. Whether you're considering in-home care or assisted living, long-term care insurance ensures that you can age with dignity and independence. For more information on long-term care options in your area, visit the Seniors Blue Book directory and start exploring the many resources available to help you plan for your future care needs.
A Comprehensive Guide to Medicare Planning in Manatee, Sarasota, and Charlotte County, Florida
Navigate Your Medicare Options with ConfidenceAs you approach the age of 65, the topic of Medicare planning becomes an essential part of your overall healthcare strategy. For seniors living in Manatee, Sarasota, and Charlotte Counties, understanding how Medicare works and how to make the best choices for your specific needs can significantly impact your healthcare coverage and costs in the years ahead.Medicare can be a complicated program to navigate, especially with the various parts and plans available. This guide aims to simplify the process, helping you make informed decisions about your Medicare coverage and ensuring you have the resources you need to access healthcare services in your community. What is Medicare and Why is Planning Important?Medicare is a federal health insurance program primarily for individuals 65 and older, as well as certain younger individuals with disabilities. There are four main parts of Medicare, each providing different types of coverage:Part A (Hospital Insurance): Covers inpatient care in hospitals, skilled nursing facilities, hospice care, and some home health services.Part B (Medical Insurance): Covers outpatient care, preventive services, doctors services, and other health services.Part C (Medicare Advantage): A private insurance plan that combines Part A and Part B coverage and may include additional benefits like vision, dental, and hearing services.Part D (Prescription Drug Coverage): Helps cover the cost of prescription medications.For many seniors in Manatee, Sarasota, and Charlotte Counties, proper Medicare planning is essential to ensure that they receive the right combination of coverage to meet their healthcare needs while managing costs. How Medicare Planning Benefits Seniors in Manatee, Sarasota, and Charlotte CountyMedicare planning is crucial because it allows seniors in these counties to take control of their healthcare options and make the most of the benefits available to them. Here are a few ways Medicare planning can benefit local seniors:Avoid penalties: Missing enrollment deadlines can result in penalties or gaps in coverage. Proper planning ensures that you enroll at the right time, avoiding unnecessary penalties.Customize your coverage: With multiple parts of Medicare available, you can select the right mix of plans and benefits that best fit your healthcare needs, whether you require more extensive care or just the basics.Cost savings: By understanding your options, including Medicare Advantage plans and prescription drug coverage, you can potentially lower your out-of-pocket expenses while still receiving the necessary care.Access to local providers: With Medicare, you can access healthcare providers in Manatee, Sarasota, and Charlotte Counties, ensuring that your doctors, hospitals, and specialists are part of the plans network. Key Steps for Medicare Planning in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte CountiesTo help you navigate Medicare planning, here are some essential steps for seniors in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte Counties:1. Understand Your Medicare Enrollment PeriodsThere are specific enrollment periods when you can sign up for Medicare or make changes to your coverage. The main enrollment periods include:Initial Enrollment Period: The seven-month period that starts three months before you turn 65 and ends three months after.Annual Election Period (AEP): Occurs each fall from October 15 to December 7, allowing you to make changes to your Medicare Advantage or Part D plans.Special Enrollment Periods (SEPs): Available if you qualify due to certain life events, such as moving to a new location or losing other health coverage.Missing these windows can result in delays or penalties, so staying informed about the enrollment dates is crucial.2. Determine the Right Medicare Plan for YouYou can choose between Original Medicare (Part A and Part B) or a Medicare Advantage plan (Part C). Some seniors prefer the flexibility of Original Medicare, while others may opt for a Medicare Advantage plan that includes extra benefits, such as vision, dental, and hearing services.Additionally, many seniors choose to enroll in Part D to cover prescription drugs, ensuring that their medications are affordable.3. Consider Medigap (Supplemental Insurance)Medigap plans help cover the gaps in coverage that Original Medicare doesnt pay for, such as copayments, coinsurance, and deductibles. If you decide to go with Original Medicare, consider adding a Medigap policy to help with these out-of-pocket costs.4. Review Available Local ResourcesSeniors in Manatee, Sarasota, and Charlotte Counties can benefit from local resources that provide assistance with Medicare planning. There are several organizations and experts in the area that offer guidance on Medicare enrollment, eligibility, and plan selection.For further information, you can explore local resources for senior services in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte Counties: Explore Senior Resources for Medicare Planning Medicare Planning and Support Services Final Thoughts on Medicare Planning in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte CountiesMedicare planning is an essential part of ensuring that seniors have access to the healthcare services they need. By understanding the different parts of Medicare, knowing the enrollment periods, and seeking local resources, seniors in Sarasota, Manatee, and Charlotte Counties can make informed decisions about their healthcare coverage. To start your Medicare planning journey, visit the Seniors Blue Book directory for more resources and support services available in your area. Planning ahead can help you make the most of your Medicare benefits and secure peace of mind for your healthcare needs in the years to come.