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Adult children of aging parents are all too familiar with what it means to have those “difficult conversations.” There’s the one where you ask Dad to stop driving. Or try to convince Mom she needs a walker. Perhaps one of the toughest conversations to have is talking to your parents about assisted living.
Many seniors choose to move into senior living communities on their own during their younger, more active years so they can easily transition to assisted living. However, it’s not uncommon for aging parents to hold on to the notion of remaining independent or believing that loved ones can help with the home care they need. That’s often the case even when it’s clear a parent requires the kind of daily care that assisted living facilities are best suited to provide.
The answer to that question varies. It’s no surprise that the effects of getting older can sneak up. Maybe you’ve noticed Mom is having trouble with activities of daily living (what clinicians call ADLs) like dressing, mobility, hygiene or toileting alone. Those are signs that shouldn’t be ignored. If at all possible, it’s even more considerate to have the conversation with her about elder care before the need arises and to continue an open dialogue as the situation evolves.
Talking to your parents about assisted living isn’t easy for any adult child, but it’s so vitally important. Here are few pointers to keep in mind as you begin:
Stress-Free Holidays: Essential Tips for Family Caregivers Here you are, a caregiver on call 24/7 for someone you love, and suddenly its holiday time. You start thinking about inviting relatives, ordering the turkey, and getting out the holiday decorations. But wait a minute. Before your holiday autopilot kicks in, step back and look at where you are. The first thing you have to acknowledge is that things are different now, says Barbara Abramowitz, Massachusetts-based psychotherapist and herself a longtime caregiver. Maybe its time to rethink the holidays. Dont be bound by traditions. Give yourself permission to change things up. It can be liberating. We get caught up in expectations and what other people are going to think of us, Abramowitz told me. Be bold. Ask yourself, What do I want to keep, and what do I want to let go of? Give yourself time to think about whats really important about the holidays. Do You Have to Deck the Halls?Maybe you dont have to decorate every square inch of your home this year. Martha Shapiro, director of programs for Senior Concerns, which supports seniors and family caregivers in Southern California, says, Think outside the box. Dont be bound by traditions. Give yourself permission to change things up this holiday season. It can be liberating. That big family gathering? How about paring down the guest list this year? (Aunt Helen will just have to understand.) Pare down the menu, too. (Do you absolutely have to have mashed potatoes as well as sweet potatoes?) Bring in food from a good supermarket or a favorite restaurant, or make it a potluck this time; its a good way to give those reluctant siblings some way to help you out. One family moved to Chanukah in May when the airports would be less congested and the weather would be better. Even if the holiday meal has always been at your house, this might be the year to ask another family member to host. Easiest of all, if it works for your budget (or your sisters budget), hold the dinner at a hotel. The holiday decor, the giant buffet not to say the prep and the cleanup are all on them. Time-Shifting and Place-Shifting TipsWho says that everything has to be done in December? Send New Years greetings instead of the usual holiday cards in January. No one loves traveling on the holidays. One family moved to Chanukah in May when the airports would be less congested and the weather would be better. You can even move or extend the holiday itself. If its tough to get everyone to the same place on the same day, consider visiting with your person a day before or after. Beth Williams, who directed programs for the Alzheimers Association in nineteen counties in Georgia and is a former professor of gerontology, has counseled countless caregivers on how to manage the holidays. If (the person you care for) has lost the concept of time, she says, just celebrate. So Christmas could be December 24 or December 26. Think of it as a holiday helper you get to extend the holiday over more than one day, it takes some pressure off and you still get to celebrate. You could try place-shifting as well. One Massachusetts family ditched December in New Jersey, which was hard for the extended family to get to, opting instead for a July celebration in Rhode Island. Or go virtual. Covid taught us how to do all kinds of family get-togethers over Zoom. Many senior care facilities have tech folks who can help. Or ask one of the grandkids to go to Nanas place and set up the holiday Zoom call. Dont Forget the Comfort and Joy for YourselfNo question that youre under stress as a caregiver. Everyone keeps telling you to make time for self-care, but its harder now than ever. So sneak it in. Seriously. Breathe. Or stare at the sky or your garden and reconnect with your senses and soul. According to Abramowitz, The respite doesnt have to be in big chunks. It can be in the moment. Pause in the transitions between activities. In the car, take a moment before heading to your destination. Breathe. Take time between appointments. Breathe. Or stare at the sky or your garden and reconnect with your senses and soul. Breathe. While shopping for gifts at the mall, find a coffee shop, sit down and treat yourself to one of those only-at-the-holidays specialty drinks. And when you go to the Post Office to mail off the presents, look at the revolving gift card kiosk. Theyve got cards from retailers and restaurants, movie theaters, online stores and more. Prices can be as low as $10 or $20. Treat Yourself to Your Holiday GiftFor delayed gratification, book a massage for January or February (check out local massage franchises, health clubs, spas and massage schools). You deserve it. Dr. Karen Midyet, a clinical psychologist in Fort Collins, Colorado, whose coaching practice includes many older caregivers, knows how critical self-care is. I tell them, hire somebody to come in so you can leave for a few hours. Sometimes, she adds, you can just do something as simple as sitting outside in the sun for one minute, taking a short walk with the dog. A short walk is better than no walk. For some extra help during the holidays, Shapiro suggests looking into the senior centers in your area (search on senior centers near me and adult day care near me). Many of them offer unique programs and caregiver support groups during holiday times. Several states offer free respite care services. Check out the Family Caregiver Alliance for details on respite programs, state by state. The National Adult Day Services Association has an interactive Find a Center map for daycare facilities nationwide. Respite care for veterans and their caregivers is also available through the US Department of Veterans Affairs. All Dad Wants For Christmas is YouYour first impulse may be to bring Mom or Dad home for a family gathering. But if your person is in a care facility, Shapiro points out, it may be more detrimental to bring them to your house and bring them back. For a lot of people with dementia, the back-and-forth causes stress. Big gatherings and blinking Christmas lights may also be overwhelming. So bring a quiet celebration to them or join in whatever holiday event the care facility offers. Bring your persons favorite holiday food, get a stack of holiday cards to look through, show photos of the family in their red-and-green elf caps, or FaceTime with the grandchildren. If you want your person to enjoy the holiday, it has to be meaningful to them. If you want your person to enjoy the holiday, it has to be meaningful to them, says Williams. Keep the tradition of celebrating; just shift the focus. If youre taking Mom to someones party, consider what she needs. Have a quick meal, Williams advises. Just stay for an hour. The key, says Shapiro, is to plan. Set things up for success. If youre going to someones house, make sure there is a chair they can get in and out of, a quiet room they can retreat to. You need to find a way to make it comfortable and realistic. If your loved one has dementia, they can still engage in reminiscing. Use that to your advantage, she says. When the family gets together, ask what was the favorite part of this holiday for each of us. Have an intergenerational table and design questions so the older people can impart their memories. Shapiro adds, With dementia you have to slow everybody down. Tell them that after dinner, were all going to sit on a couch and listen to some stories. Holidays often involve religious observances, but extended services and large crowds may not work this year. Do you have to go to church for the big gathering? Williams asks caregivers. Try Saturday evening instead. You could call Father So-and-so and ask, Can we come as a small group, and could you give us a sermon and Communion?' Jim Sherblom, a social impact investor and former Unitarian Universalist minister in Brookline, Massachusetts, encouraged innovative ways to mark the holidays. Especially if it was difficult for his congregants to get to church, he would invite them over to his house, and they would walk together in the nearby woods. These days many religious groups live stream their services. All Dad wanted for Christmas was church, one caregiver told me. So we watched the holiday service on his iPad, and it worked just fine. Ask your person what theyd like to do for the holidays it may surprise you. Leave day-to-day activities behind, put on your fancy clothes (or that once-a-year Christmas sweater), and share some moments. Focus on that. Stick to whats doable and enjoyable for you and meaningful for your person. Reminiscing may be the best way to enrich your persons day. Play the music that moves them, says Williams. Maybe its just the same five oldies. Thats okay. Run old family movies on a loop. Or maybe its playing a game together, laughing, watching a football game. Holidays are an opportunity to create new rituals, Abramowitz reminds us. We get to remake the holidays. We get to create what we want. You never know this could be the last holiday with your person. Take a lot of photos, says Shapiro, adding, take mental photos. Say to yourself, I will capture this and remember this moment. Whatever you create, whether you trim the tree or trim down the festivities, the holidays are still a unique time to build new memories and savor the simple joy of being with people you love. Writer: Connie Baher This article originally published on nextavenue.org___________ SYNERGY HomeCare offers no obligation home assessments. Contact Synergy HomeCare of Daphne at 251-621-1900 to learn how we can provide additional support to you and your loved ones.
Murray House: A Legacy of Gracious Assisted Living Since 1829Nestled in the heart of Mobile, Alabama, Murray House Assisted Living offers a unique combination of history, compassionate care, and modern amenities. With roots that trace back nearly two centuries, Murray House has grown from its humble beginnings as the Womens Benevolent Home to a vibrant community that provides exceptional care for elderly residents. Faithful to its mission and the Christian tradition of service, Murray House is more than just a residence; its a family dedicated to preserving the dignity and well-being of every individual.A Tradition of Compassionate CareSince its establishment in 1829, Murray House has exemplified a philosophy of living with dignity. Initially founded by members of the Government Street Presbyterian Church to serve dependent elderly women, the facility has evolved to meet the changing needs of the community. From sheltering orphans and widows of Confederate soldiers to serving as a haven during the yellow fever epidemic, Murray House has always prioritized service to those in need.In 1994, the Episcopal Diocese of the Central Gulf Coast assumed stewardship of the facility, transforming it into the modern assisted living residence it is today. Rebranded as Murray House in honor of the Rt. Rev. George M. Murray, the first bishop of the diocese, the facility continues its long-standing tradition of care and hospitality.Mission and Philosophy: Care with DignityAt Murray House, the mission is clear: to provide assisted living services while respecting the dignity of all residents. The core philosophy emphasizes fostering independence and well-being in a gracious and hospitable environment. This ethos is reflected in the high morale of residents, the attentiveness of staff, and the confidence families place in the facility.Residents are treated as individuals, with their unique needs and preferences guiding the personalized care plans. The dedicated providers, friendly volunteers, and compassionate caregivers form the backbone of this vibrant community, ensuring that every resident feels valued and cared for.A Home for EveryoneMurray House welcomes women and men of all races and religions, embracing diversity in its community. The spacious and private rooms, coupled with a caring environment and a range of activities, make it a truly inclusive and inviting place to live. Even small dogs are welcome, reflecting the homes commitment to creating a nurturing and familiar atmosphere for its residents.Types of Accommodations Private Rooms: For those who prefer a space of their own, private rooms offer privacy and comfort with individual heating and cooling systems. Semi-Private Rooms: Ideal for those who enjoy companionship, these rooms provide shared living with the same high-quality amenities. Respite Care: Temporary care solutions for families needing short-term support for their loved ones. Services and AmenitiesMurray House is more than just a place to live; its a place to thrive. A wide range of services and amenities ensures residents can enjoy a worry-free lifestyle, including:Essential Services Personal Emergency Call System: Residents are equipped with personal emergency call lanyards for added peace of mind. Housekeeping and Laundry: Routine cleaning and laundry services allow residents to focus on enjoying their days. Transportation: Scheduled rides to medical appointments ensure residents can access necessary healthcare. Comfort and Convenience Utilities Included: Electricity, water, cable, and WiFi are part of the all-inclusive living experience. Meals: Three freshly prepared meals and three snacks daily. Elegant Common Areas: Spacious gathering rooms provide a perfect setting for socializing and relaxation. Activities and Wellness Daily Exercise Programs: Designed to keep residents active and healthy. Shopping and Cultural Outings: Opportunities to explore the local community and stay engaged. Chapel Services: Regular spiritual services. A Unique Historical LegacyThe story of Murray House is interwoven with the history of Mobile. Originally known as Widows Row and later as the Womens Benevolent Home, the facility has been a cornerstone of the community for generations. Judge Henry Hitchcock, a prominent Mobile citizen and grandson of Revolutionary War hero Ethan Allen, donated the original site, laying the foundation for this remarkable institution.Through the years, Murray House has adapted to changing times while remaining steadfast in its commitment to service. From providing sanctuary during epidemics to embracing modern assisted living practices, Murray House stands as a testament to resilience and compassion.Modern Living in a Historic SettingWhile rooted in history, Murray House offers all the amenities of contemporary assisted living. Each residents care plan is tailored to their specific needs, and the facility is staffed 24/7 with trained professionals. Assistance with medications, daily care activities, and therapeutic diets are provided with the utmost respect and sensitivity.The facility also features private baths, individual HVAC systems, and a personal emergency call system in every room. Residents enjoy the benefits of modern living while surrounded by the timeless elegance of Murray Houses historic architecture.Schedule a Personal TourMurray House invites prospective residents and their families to experience the community firsthand. A personalized tour provides an opportunity to explore the beautiful campus, meet the dedicated staff, and discover how Murray House can accommodate individual care needs.To schedule a tour, call 251-432-2272.Why Choose Murray House?Choosing an assisted living facility is a significant decision. At Murray House, the combination of compassionate care, exceptional amenities, and a rich historical legacy sets it apart. Residents experience the perfect balance of independence and support, with a community that values respect, kindness, and service.Whether its the personalized care, the warm and welcoming environment, or the commitment to faith and tradition, Murray House offers a truly unique assisted living experience. Contact Information Address: 1257 Government Street, Mobile, Alabama 36604 Phone: 251-432-2272 Fax: 251-432-1935 Web: murrayhouseliving.com
Lets talk PATHWAYS: Personalized Support for Those Experiencing Cognitive DeclineDecember 5, 2024 By CC Young StaffThis time of year is filled with gatherings, which means you may be spending more quality time with your family members, particularly your parents and older relatives. While time spent together is a blessing, it can also highlight changes brought on by aging. If you believe someone you love is experiencing mild cognitive decline, there are options for keeping them safe while maintaining their independence and quality of life.This year, CC Young Senior Living in Dallas launched the Personal Assistance Toward Health and Wellness As You Succeed (PATHWAYS) program. Designed to serve as a bridge between Assisted Living and Memory Support, PATHWAYS provides extra support and structure in an intimate, small-group setting.We sat down with Nena Paris, CC Youngs Administrator, Assisted Living and Memory Support, to better understand the PATHWAYS program and who can benefit from it. Here are seven takeaways.PATHWAYS was created to fill a need between Assisted Living and Memory Support. The program came about because, often, Memory Support units can have long waitlists and fill up quickly. Truthfully, sometimes people with cognitive impairment dont necessarily need full Memory Support, as theyre not at risk of eloping, or leaving the community without supervision. CC Young has recognized that theres this middle group people who need a little more guided assistance and structure with their daily activities but are not qualified for full-blown Memory Support.PATHWAYS can actually slow cognitive decline. Research has shown that a guided program like PATHWAYS can in fact slow cognitive decline and help people stay engaged. Our program does this by providing residents with personal interaction, along with physical and emotional support, as a way to enhance their overall wellness and quality of life in a positive environment.PATHWAYS promotes resident wellness. At CC Young, we focus on whole-person wellness, using the 7 Pillars of Wellness as defined by the International Council on Active Aging: physical, social, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, vocational, and environmental wellness. Thats also the backbone of the PATHWAYS program, which promotes active aging regardless of cognitive issues. From these pillars, we have designed a comprehensive therapeutic program to support the needs of those with mild cognitive impairment in a joyful, engaging environment.PATHWAYS offers an intimate caregiver-to-resident ratio. Part of what makes PATHWAYS so successful is that the CC Young staff works closely with residents, which means the staff will notice any cognitive changes. In fact, at 1 caregiver to 7 people, the caregiver-to-resident ratio in PATHWAYS is better than both Assisted Living and Memory Support, which are 1 to 25 and 1 to 10, respectively. That also results in PATHWAYS residents becoming like family, as the staff truly gets to know them.PATHWAYS is not just for CC Young residents. Its true anyone from the Dallas community who has a need for the program can become a PATHWAYS resident. Upon entering the PATHWAYS program, your family member would also become an Assisted Living resident in The Hillside at CC Young.PATHWAYS is a less stressful transition for both family members and residents. It can certainly be stressful for families to face the decision of whether or not their family member should enter Memory Support. PATHWAYS offers a comforting solution for both them and their loved ones, as it lessens the pressure of deciding whether full Memory Support is needed now. The PATHWAYS resident may be able to live out their days in the PATHWAYS program or eventually transition to Memory Support, if the need arises.PATHWAYS keeps residents engaged and prevents isolation. To keep PATHWAYS residents engaged, the program takes an active and intentional approach to life enrichment activities, which includes participating in activities on the Assisted Living calendar as well as a specialized PATHWAYS calendar. The biggest differentiator for PATHWAYS is that a dedicated support staff member helps residents plan their day and escorts them to the activities. Since we purposely guide residents to keep them engaged, they are able to remain active and enjoy a better quality of life, while also avoiding any isolation that can be a symptom of cognitive decline.PATHWAYS is just one more service that CC Young offers current and prospective residents and their families. When we noticed an increase of older adults experiencing various levels of cognitive decline but not necessarily to the level of needing Memory Support we wanted to do something about it. We put our heads together and created a solution: PATHWAYS.If you are noticing cognitive decline in someone you love, we encourage you to have a conversation to express what youre observing. Talking to your primary care physician is a good place to start. CC Young is also happy to provide information, so feel free to give us a call at 214-305-9662.
Heal. Recover. Thrive. Like a winding river, life has many ebbs and flows. At Friendship Village of South Hills, we understand this natural evolution, and we offer assistance for you or your loved one through trying times. Should those times come, know that you won't have to let go of the comforts and passions that make life meaningful. You can always expect exceptional care in our modern and welcoming surroundings.
Located on 73 beautiful acres in Upper St. Clair, in the South Hills area of Pittsburgh, PA, Friendship Village is the perfect community for those who enjoy the resources and attractions of big-city life, but prefer to live in the more serene atmosphere of a small town. Here youll find like-minded individuals who share your down-to-earth attitude as well as your curiosity, creativity and desire for growth. And youll find a multitude of opportunities to make this community your own.Choices abound here. Apartment home or Carriage Home? Formal dining or something more casual? Take a painting class or a community trip to the art museum? Swap stories with friends in the pub or challenge them to a round of golf? Maybe its all the above because when you live at Friendship Village, what you do every day is only up to you.