How to Explain a Senior Loved One’s Dementia Diagnosis to Children

Author

INTEGRACARE

For more information about the author, click to view their website: https://www.integracare.com/

Posted on

Jul 13, 2024

Book/Edition

Pennsylvania - Greater Pittsburgh Area

Understanding Dementia: Why it Matters

Addressing the complexities of a dementia diagnosis can be a challenging task, especially when communicating this to a younger audience. A dementia diagnosis impacts everyone in the family, including the youngest members. Children are keen observers and will likely notice changes in their loved one. Without understanding, these changes may leave them feeling confused, scared, or even responsible. Therefore, understanding the basics about dementia and communicating it in an age-appropriate way is critical for them to process what is happening.

 Dementia: What it is

Explanation and Symptoms

Dementia is a term that represents several conditions that affect brain functions such as memory, thinking skills, and the ability to perform everyday activities. This group of symptoms impacts cognitive function significantly and is persistent enough to interfere with daily life and independence. Symptoms can include memory loss, difficulty in thinking or problem-solving, challenges with communication, and notable changes in mood, personality, or behavior.

 Types of Dementia

There are various types of dementia, each with unique symptoms and progression patterns. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common, contributing to 60-80% of cases. Vascular dementia often occurs after a stroke. While these are the most recognized forms, there are many other types like Lewy body dementia, frontotemporal disorders, and mixed dementia.

 How it Affects Seniors

While dementia is not a normal part of aging, it’s more prevalent in seniors. It can significantly alter their behavior, personality, and ability to perform daily tasks. This often leads to them needing assistance in their day-to-day life.

 The Child’s Perspective: Understanding Their Worldview

Explaining dementia to children requires empathy and understanding of their world. Kids’ comprehension of health, illness, and aging varies widely based on their age and maturity level. Thus, when crafting your explanation, it’s essential to consider their cognitive development stage and adjust your language and explanations accordingly.

 Talking About Dementia: Preparing the Conversation

Approaching the subject of dementia should be well-thought-out. Choose a calm and quiet time when the child won’t be distracted or rushed. This will give you both the space to navigate the conversation and handle the emotions that might arise.

 Breaking the News

When and How

Introduce the topic gently and gradually. You might start by asking what they’ve noticed about their loved one or if they’ve wondered why they’re behaving differently.

 Explaining in Simple Terms

Explain dementia in straightforward, age-appropriate language. For younger children, you might explain that their loved one’s brain is getting a little mixed up or isn’t working as well as it used to.

 The Role of Metaphors

Metaphors can be powerful tools to help children grasp complex concepts. For instance, you might compare the brain to a machine that’s not working properly or a light bulb that’s flickering.

 

Dealing with Reactions

Normalizing Feelings

Help the child understand that it’s okay to feel a wide range of emotions, whether that’s sadness, confusion, anger, or fear. These are normal reactions to significant changes.

 Answering Questions

Children are naturally curious and will likely have many questions. Answer their inquiries honestly, yet gently, using language they can comprehend.

 Ongoing Conversation

The explanation of dementia is not a one-time talk; it’s an ongoing conversation. The dialogue will evolve as the loved one’s condition progresses and the child’s understanding deepens.

Activities for Understanding

Educational Resources

There are numerous children’s books, videos, and online resources specifically designed to help children understand dementia.

 Interactive Activities

Involve the child in memory games or role-playing exercises to simulate memory loss and promote empathy. This can help them understand what their loved one is going through.

 Providing Emotional Support

Be Present

Ensure you’re there for the child emotionally. Let them express their feelings, reassure them about their concerns, and offer a comforting presence during this challenging time.

 Listen Actively

Active listening goes a long way. Validate their thoughts, fears, and feelings, showing them that it’s okay to share their inner emotions.

Reassure and Comfort

Reassure the child that, despite the changes, their loved one still cares deeply for them.

 Explaining Changes

Behavior Changes

Inform the child that the senior might behave differently, show confusion, or forget things more often.

Physical Changes

Physical changes might occur in the loved one, such as trouble walking or talking. Make sure to prepare the child for these possible changes.

 Changes in Roles

The family dynamics might change as a result of the loved one’s diagnosis. Explaining this shift to the child will help them understand why these changes are necessary.

 Building a Supportive Environment

Maintaining Routine

A sense of routine can provide a semblance of security and normalcy for the child during this uncertain time.

 Open Communication

Foster an environment of open communication. Encourage the child to ask questions, share their feelings, and express their concerns.

 Inclusion in Care

Include the child in caregiving activities in ways that are age-appropriate and comfortable for them.

 Tips for Continued Conversations

Regular Updates

Keep the child updated about the condition of their loved one. This will prepare them for the ongoing changes and help them understand the progression of the disease.

 Honesty and Patience

Honesty is paramount, but it needs to be balanced with patience. Explain that dementia is a medical condition, not a personal choice or a reflection on their relationship.

 Promoting Empathy

Help the child to understand how their loved one might be feeling. This encourages empathy and patience.

 Additional Resources

Books

There are many age-appropriate books available that address dementia, which can be a helpful resource.

 Websites

Several websites offer valuable information on understanding and coping with dementia.

 Support Groups

Support groups can offer a sense of community and understanding, especially for older children and teens.

 Involving Professionals

Sometimes, involving professionals like therapists or counselors can be beneficial in helping children process their feelings and better understand the situation.

 Dementia: A Family Affair

Lastly, remember to reinforce that dementia is a family affair. Everyone’s feelings, experiences, and contributions matter, and it’s okay to have good days and bad days.

Final Thoughts: Recap and Next Steps

Helping children understand a senior loved one’s dementia diagnosis is a challenging yet vital task. It’s an ongoing process, filled with numerous conversations and learning opportunities. The most important thing is to provide a supportive, open, and loving environment for the child as they navigate this difficult journey. It’s also completely acceptable, and often beneficial, to seek help from professionals or use various resources to guide you along the way.

We hope our guide on explaining a senior loved one’s dementia diagnosis to children has been helpful. At Integracare, we extend our commitment to exceptional care across our 18 communities in Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Virginia, offering assisted living, memory care, independent living, and short-term/respite care with the same high standards. If you’d like to learn more about any of our communities, please reach out to us. We’re here to support you and your family throughout this journey.

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