How to Get Your Parents to Accept Help at Home

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ComForCare Home Care NW Pittsburgh

For more information about the author, click to view their website: ComForCare Home Care NW Pittsburgh

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Jul 30, 2024

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Pennsylvania - Greater Pittsburgh Area

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How to Get Your Parent to Accept Help at Home

By Bill Woods, ComForCare of Washtenaw/Downriver
 
When it comes time for your parent to get more assistance at home with cleaning, personal care, cooking, etc., you might be met with some resistance, which can be frustrating. 
 
There are usually two main reasons older adults don’t want extra help. 
 
Caregiving (in-home care) services may be perceived as a transition from the known to the unknown. Your parent could see this transition as irreversible; caregiving will happen whether they are ready or not and that their abilities will quickly decline until they are entirely dependent on someone else. These feelings can be overwhelming. 
 
As the adult child or caregiver, how can you inspire them to accept help?
 
Frame caregiving services as a trial; convey that if they don’t like it, they can try a different caregiver or try something else. Emphasize this and repeat it often. Continue to encourage your parent that they can remain as independent as possible if they have in-home care. Another approach is to compromise: instead of eight hours of caregiving services each day, try a few hours a week. 
 
The second major reason is that many seniors don’t feel the need to fritter their life savings away on ‘expensive’ care options, while the adult child feels that in-home care is the best use of their savings. Explain that their savings and caregiving services are to ensure good quality of life and dignity as they age. Those saved dollars, in other words, are fulfilling their intended purpose. 
 
 

How to Become Your Parent’s Caregiver

There may be times where you need to step in as your parent’s caregiver. Planning, communication and inclusion are key to making the transition easier.  
 
When forming a plan for caregiving, try to stick to your loved one’s current routine to ease them into the adjustment. Don’t forget to communicate the plan, and its occasional required deviation, often and openly. Always include your parent, provide options and choices, and allow them to make the final decision if possible. 
 
The golden rule is to be involved only in ways that enhance and enable your parent to preserve their remaining abilities and intervene only in ways that provide support as they lose abilities. For example, if your older loved one finds walking difficult, instead of bringing everything to them, add accessibility options such as handrails and encourage exercise and fall prevention strategies to strengthen their muscles and balance.
 
As your parent ages, you may need to increase your duties as their primary caregiver. You may need to gauge your own comfort level with certain tasks, as well as your overall burnout level. For example, you may not feel comfortable helping your parent with showering. This is where professional respite care comes in. This allows you to retain the position as the primary caregiver and receive help from a home care company. Respite care is most effective when used to unburden the adult child; removing tasks and worries so you can focus on the special moments and deepen the connection you have with your loved one.
 
Getting your parent to accept care is achievable with proper expectation setting, giving them choices, and keeping them involved in the decisions as you go.
 
If you have questions about home care, please review our Resources page. Our goal is to help seniors and their families live their best lives possible.  


 


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Non-Medical 10521 Perry Highway, Wexford, Pennsylvania, 15090

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      • DatabaseQueue.php#188seniorsbb_db_dev2.47msinsert into `queue_jobs` (`queue`, `attempts`, `reserved_at`, `available_at`, `created_at`, `payload`) values ('default', 0, null, 1751807498, 1751807498, '{\"uuid\":\"b65304e2-e1a5-443c-bca9-6ce9d826348f\",\"displayName\":\"App\\\\Jobs\\\\TrackLibrary\",\"job\":\"Illuminate\\\\Queue\\\\CallQueuedHandler@call\",\"maxTries\":null,\"maxExceptions\":null,\"failOnTimeout\":false,\"backoff\":null,\"timeout\":null,\"retryUntil\":null,\"data\":{\"commandName\":\"App\\\\Jobs\\\\TrackLibrary\",\"command\":\"O:21:\\\"App\\\\Jobs\\\\TrackLibrary\\\":5:{s:13:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000track_data\\\";O:45:\\\"Illuminate\\\\Contracts\\\\Database\\\\ModelIdentifier\\\":5:{s:5:\\\"class\\\";s:18:\\\"App\\\\Models\\\\Article\\\";s:2:\\\"id\\\";a:3:{i:0;i:15271;i:1;i:15269;i:2;i:15162;}s:9:\\\"relations\\\";a:0:{}s:10:\\\"connection\\\";s:5:\\\"mysql\\\";s:15:\\\"collectionClass\\\";N;}s:13:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000usercookie\\\";s:18:\\\"us734trb76et634tbr\\\";s:7:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000type\\\";s:7:\\\"article\\\";s:13:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000event_type\\\";s:6:\\\"appear\\\";s:16:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000inputDataType\\\";s:4:\\\"data\\\";}\"}}')
        Bindings
        • 0: default
        • 1: 0
        • 2: 
        • 3: 1751807498
        • 4: 1751807498
        • 5: {"uuid":"b65304e2-e1a5-443c-bca9-6ce9d826348f","displayName":"App\\Jobs\\TrackLibrary","job":"Illuminate\\Queue\\CallQueuedHandler@call","maxTries":null,"maxExceptions":null,"failOnTimeout":false,"backoff":null,"timeout":null,"retryUntil":null,"data":{"commandName":"App\\Jobs\\TrackLibrary","command":"O:21:\"App\\Jobs\\TrackLibrary\":5:{s:13:\"\u0000*\u0000track_data\";O:45:\"Illuminate\\Contracts\\Database\\ModelIdentifier\":5:{s:5:\"class\";s:18:\"App\\Models\\Article\";s:2:\"id\";a:3:{i:0;i:15271;i:1;i:15269;i:2;i:15162;}s:9:\"relations\";a:0:{}s:10:\"connection\";s:5:\"mysql\";s:15:\"collectionClass\";N;}s:13:\"\u0000*\u0000usercookie\";s:18:\"us734trb76et634tbr\";s:7:\"\u0000*\u0000type\";s:7:\"article\";s:13:\"\u0000*\u0000event_type\";s:6:\"appear\";s:16:\"\u0000*\u0000inputDataType\";s:4:\"data\";}"}}
        Backtrace
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:188
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:99
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/Queue.php:338
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:93
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Bus/Dispatcher.php:244
      • DatabaseQueue.php#188seniorsbb_db_dev2.56msinsert into `queue_jobs` (`queue`, `attempts`, `reserved_at`, `available_at`, `created_at`, `payload`) values ('default', 0, null, 1751807498, 1751807498, '{\"uuid\":\"bcb18617-1f78-4782-bf40-4b3ee95a7ebd\",\"displayName\":\"App\\\\Jobs\\\\TrackLibrary\",\"job\":\"Illuminate\\\\Queue\\\\CallQueuedHandler@call\",\"maxTries\":null,\"maxExceptions\":null,\"failOnTimeout\":false,\"backoff\":null,\"timeout\":null,\"retryUntil\":null,\"data\":{\"commandName\":\"App\\\\Jobs\\\\TrackLibrary\",\"command\":\"O:21:\\\"App\\\\Jobs\\\\TrackLibrary\\\":5:{s:13:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000track_data\\\";O:45:\\\"Illuminate\\\\Contracts\\\\Database\\\\ModelIdentifier\\\":5:{s:5:\\\"class\\\";s:18:\\\"App\\\\Models\\\\Listing\\\";s:2:\\\"id\\\";a:1:{i:0;i:84350;}s:9:\\\"relations\\\";a:0:{}s:10:\\\"connection\\\";s:5:\\\"mysql\\\";s:15:\\\"collectionClass\\\";N;}s:13:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000usercookie\\\";s:18:\\\"us734trb76et634tbr\\\";s:7:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000type\\\";s:7:\\\"article\\\";s:13:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000event_type\\\";s:6:\\\"appear\\\";s:16:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000inputDataType\\\";s:4:\\\"data\\\";}\"}}')
        Bindings
        • 0: default
        • 1: 0
        • 2: 
        • 3: 1751807498
        • 4: 1751807498
        • 5: {"uuid":"bcb18617-1f78-4782-bf40-4b3ee95a7ebd","displayName":"App\\Jobs\\TrackLibrary","job":"Illuminate\\Queue\\CallQueuedHandler@call","maxTries":null,"maxExceptions":null,"failOnTimeout":false,"backoff":null,"timeout":null,"retryUntil":null,"data":{"commandName":"App\\Jobs\\TrackLibrary","command":"O:21:\"App\\Jobs\\TrackLibrary\":5:{s:13:\"\u0000*\u0000track_data\";O:45:\"Illuminate\\Contracts\\Database\\ModelIdentifier\":5:{s:5:\"class\";s:18:\"App\\Models\\Listing\";s:2:\"id\";a:1:{i:0;i:84350;}s:9:\"relations\";a:0:{}s:10:\"connection\";s:5:\"mysql\";s:15:\"collectionClass\";N;}s:13:\"\u0000*\u0000usercookie\";s:18:\"us734trb76et634tbr\";s:7:\"\u0000*\u0000type\";s:7:\"article\";s:13:\"\u0000*\u0000event_type\";s:6:\"appear\";s:16:\"\u0000*\u0000inputDataType\";s:4:\"data\";}"}}
        Backtrace
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:188
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:99
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/Queue.php:338
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:93
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Bus/Dispatcher.php:244
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#51seniorsbb_db_dev1.57msselect * from `company` where `company`.`id` = '103865' and `company`.`id` is not null and `company`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 103865
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:51
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#54seniorsbb_db_dev990μsselect * from `company` where `company`.`id` = '103865' and `company`.`id` is not null and `company`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 103865
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:54
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#66seniorsbb_db_dev1.27msselect `books`.*, `bookeditionmapping`.`recordId` as `pivot_recordId`, `bookeditionmapping`.`bookId` as `pivot_bookId` from `books` inner join `bookeditionmapping` on `books`.`id` = `bookeditionmapping`.`bookId` where `bookeditionmapping`.`recordId` = 12514 and `bookeditionmapping`.`type` = 'article'
        Bindings
        • 0: 12514
        • 1: article
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:66
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#70seniorsbb_db_dev1.2msselect `books`.*, `bookeditionmapping`.`recordId` as `pivot_recordId`, `bookeditionmapping`.`bookId` as `pivot_bookId` from `books` inner join `bookeditionmapping` on `books`.`id` = `bookeditionmapping`.`bookId` where `bookeditionmapping`.`recordId` = 12514 and `bookeditionmapping`.`type` = 'article'
        Bindings
        • 0: 12514
        • 1: article
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:70
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#85seniorsbb_db_dev1.19msselect * from `listingcontacts` where `listingcontacts`.`listingId` = 12514 and `listingcontacts`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' and `primary` = 1 limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 12514
        • 1: article
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:85
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#237seniorsbb_db_dev1.35msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 84350 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'listing' and `primary` = 1 limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 84350
        • 1: listing
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:237
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#253seniorsbb_db_dev6.26msselect * from `categorymapping` where `categorymapping`.`slug` = 'NMHC' and `categorymapping`.`slug` is not null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: NMHC
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:253
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#256seniorsbb_db_dev1.2msselect * from `category` where `category`.`id` = 'NMHC' and `category`.`id` is not null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: NMHC
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:256
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#299seniorsbb_db_dev1.15msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 15271 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' and `primary` = 1 limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 15271
        • 1: article
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:299
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#299seniorsbb_db_dev1.29msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 15269 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' and `primary` = 1 limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 15269
        • 1: article
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:299
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#299seniorsbb_db_dev1.14msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 15162 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' and `primary` = 1 limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 15162
        • 1: article
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:299
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#301seniorsbb_db_dev1.01msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 15162 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 15162
        • 1: article
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:301
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 6162bf581736fa7f4e9b70a52a1034b4.php#2seniorsbb_db_dev20.67msselect * from `articles` where `articles`.`deleted_at` is null order by `id` desc limit 3
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/6162bf581736fa7f4e9b70a52a1034b4.php:2
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      App\Models\Article
      7Article.php#?
      App\Models\ListingAttachments
      4ListingAttachments.php#?
      App\Models\ArticleCategory
      2ArticleCategory.php#?
      App\Models\Company
      2Company.php#?
      App\Models\Books
      2Books.php#?
      App\Models\Category
      1Category.php#?
      App\Models\Listing
      1Listing.php#?
      App\Models\CategoryMapping
      1CategoryMapping.php#?
          ClearShow all
          Date ↕MethodURLData
          #12025-07-06 07:11:39GET/articles/how-to-get-your-parents-to-accept-help-at-home42320