How To Plan A Funeral

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Apr 13, 2023

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Planning a funeral for your parents is a difficult and emotional process. It can be overwhelming and confusing, with so many decisions needing to be made. However, by being organized and methodical in your approach, you can ensure that the funeral is a meaningful and respectful celebration of their lives.

Choose a funeral home.
The first step in planning a funeral is to choose a funeral home. While this can be a difficult decision, it's important to find a funeral home that you trust and feel comfortable with. Look for a funeral home that is reputable and has experience in planning funerals. You may also want to consider the location, price, and accommodations offered by each funeral home.

Notify family and friends.
Once you have chosen a funeral home, it's important to notify family and friends about the funeral arrangements. You may want to send out an email or phone call to let people know about the funeral date, time, and location. This will give people plenty of time to make travel arrangements and plan accordingly.

Plan the funeral service.
The funeral service is an important part of the funeral, as it provides an opportunity to honor and remember your parents. When planning the service, you may want to include music, readings, and personal anecdotes about your parents. You may also want to consider hiring a minister or celebrant to lead the service.

Choose the burial or cremation option.
Another important decision to make is whether to have a traditional burial or cremation. Consider your parents' wishes and religious beliefs when making this decision. If you choose burial, you will need to select a cemetery and purchase a burial plot. If you choose cremation, you will need to select an urn for their remains.

Consider other services.
In addition to the funeral service and burial or cremation, there may be other services that you need to consider. For example, you may want to have a wake or visitation period to allow friends and family to pay their respects. You may also need to arrange transportation for the remains, as well as flowers and other funeral decorations.

Deal with financial matters.
Finally, you will need to deal with any financial matters related to the funeral. This may include paying for the funeral home services, burial or cremation, and other related expenses. You may also need to file any insurance claims or arrange for payment from your parents' estate.

In conclusion, planning a funeral for your parents can be a difficult and emotional process, but by following these steps, you can ensure that it is a meaningful and respectful celebration of their lives. Remember to take your time, be organized, and seek support from loved ones throughout the process.

Article Written By: Seniors Blue Book

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There is no universal right way to grieve, as everyone copes with loss differently. The grieving process is unique to each individual and may require considerable time and patience.One of most important thing[s] to acknowledge about grief is everyone does it differently. In the vast majority of cases, as long as youre not harming yourself or someone else, how youre grieving is normal, said Taylor Jackson, Home Health Administrator with OnCare Home Health & Hospice.Common Emotions ExperiencedGrieving is a complex and personal experience that involves a multitude of emotions. People can feel a range of emotions, including shock, sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety, as they come to terms with their loss. 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CONSOLING A GRIEVING WIDOW OR WIDOWER (PART I)

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This phrase is very insensitive.A better option: Sometimes well never understand the reasons why things happen the way they do.This works because it acknowledges that theres no comprehensible reason for why their loved one had to die.Dont say: What are you going to do now?This well-intentioned question may be the breaking point for someone who really doesnt know what theyre going to do now that their spouse has died. They may be feeling overwhelmed with whats next and how to take care of everything on their own. A better option: Lets talk about how I can help you with the next steps.This works because youre offering a solution to them that will help them figure things out instead of sending them into panic mode. Dont say: Thats too bad the kids wont have both parents.This is a very insensitive and unkind thing to say to someone. Theyre faced with having to move forward without the person that was supposed to be there to help them. They already know its going to be difficult not having them there. A better option: Im sorry that they wont be here to see the children grow up.This works because youre expressing lamentation over something that is regretful in a more caring and loving way.  Dont say: Youll feel better in time.When you say this to someone, you imply that this is only a passing thing. Your loved one may resent how quick you are to dismiss the relationship they once shared with their spouse. A better option: Take all the time you need to heal from your pain and grief. Ill be here for you.This works because youre acknowledging that this is one of the most painful experiences of their life and youll be there to help them through it. Dont say: Youre still young, someone else will come along.The last thing a widow is thinking of when theyve just lost their spouse is going out and finding a replacement. A better option: Youre lucky to have found love with someone as wonderful as them. Im truly sorry for your loss.This works because youre reminding your loved one that love is difficult to find and theirs is irreplaceable. Dont say: They werent the greatest anyway.Keep the negative comments and opinions to yourself. There is never a right time to give your take on your loved ones choices in love, and especially not the period when theyre grieving the loss.A better option: Im sorry that youre having to go through this pain and suffering.This works because youre expressing solidarity with your loved one in their pain and suffering without any negative feedback. Dont say: Now I have you all to myself.This is a selfish way of saying to your friend that you love and support them through their loss. A better option: Ill be here for you through thick and thin.This works because youre able to get the same point across without celebrating the fact that your loved one is now free to spend more time with you. Dont say: I know what youre going through.It can be highly offensive to a bereaved widow when you say that you can relate to what theyre going through. Even if youve also been widowed and have experienced this type of loss, it can be hurtful when you compare their pain to yours. A better option: It must be very difficult for you right now. I cant imagine what youre going through.This works because youre recognizing that its not easy losing their spouse without making this about you and what you went through. Knowing what NOT to say to a grieving spouse is a good primer (especially now that you have decent alternatives).  Be sure to read next weeks article Consoling a Grieving Spouse Part II, which will outline more phrases that generally work well to comfort, and why theyre good.When facing the loss of a spouse its important for the surviving spouse to have a support team around them.  After the initial shock has subsided, the time comes when taking action on whats next is imperative.  Having support partners like a well-trained and compassionate Estate Attorney, Financial Planner and Real Estate Agent can make a huge difference.   If you would like recommendations on local Bradenton|Sarasota area Estate Attorneys, Financial Planners or Grief Counselors, please email me at Jude@JudeCreamer.com   Jude Creamer, Broker Associate, HomeSmart, specializing in facilitating real estate transactions for people in life transitions.A special thanks to www.JoinCake.com for the guidance contained in this article.

CONSOLING A GRIEVING WIDOW OR WIDOWER (PART II)

Knowing how to console a grieving widow is not easy.  I find Id rather say nothing than say the wrong thing. This is Part II of a two-part article providing suggestions of ways to convey your support for them in their time of need.  This portion is offering phrases that are positive and kind to use and explains why.  Part I dealt with things one shouldnt say when consoling a grieving spouse.Knowing that there are times when words are absolutely necessary, it helps to have the right ones at ones fingertips.Part II Phrases that Work wellAim to say the right thing from the start so that you can avoid unintentionally hurting your loved one at a time when theyre already in so much pain.When you do it right, they may not remember what you said years later, but theyll remember that you were open to supporting them during one of the toughest times of their lives.Im sorry for your loss.This is the most common and universally accepted phrase that acknowledges their loss without saying too much. Although sometimes feeling rote, its direct and to the point.I cant imagine how you feel.When you tell someone that you cant understand how theyre feeling, this opens up the opportunity for dialogue. They may choose to tell you how theyre feeling, or they may acknowledge you with silence. In either instance, allow them to take the lead without forcing the conversation.We all share in your grief.Expressing that you share in your loved ones grief is a show of love and support for them. These words are kind and giving without having to say too much. Let me have the kids.A grieving widow might benefit from time alone to sit with their grief. A person experiences a lot of emotions and different types of grief when saddled with the death of their spouse.It takes time to process and figure out exactly what theyre feeling. Offering to take the kids out for the day or the weekend will likely be appreciated.Ive prepared some meals for you.A person whos grieving will likely not have an appetite for days following the death. If left alone, they may forget to eat until reminded to do so. Preparing and delivering meals to your loved one will help them by taking the guesswork of what to eat away from them. Im here to help you.Theres a huge difference between offering to help someone and doing things to help them. Most people who are grieving find it difficult to ask for and receive help. You can make it easier on them by showing up ready to take on any necessary tasks or chores. Youll need to practice your assertiveness when it comes to helping your loved one. Try not to take no for an answer in a loving and caring way. Helping your loved one can also come in the form of spiritual and emotional help. It may be that they need a little extra help coping with their loss. Offer to join them in prayer, meditation, or accompanying them to a widow support group. Take time for yourself.Giving someone permission for a little self-care can do wonders for them especially when they may be feeling guilty over their spouses death. Let them determine how theyll use their time without filling their schedule with your agenda or ideas. Youre doing a great job.We all need a little motivation and encouragement to keep us going at times. Offer praise for a job well done without sounding condescending. A simple youre doing a great job reminds them that theyre doing the best that they can under the circumstances.Theyd be really proud of you.This is another way to encourage your loved one to keep moving forward while acknowledging their loss. Find a reason or reasons to say this to your friend every now and then so that they dont lose hope as they learn to cope with their grief. I know it must be really hard without them here.This works because youre acknowledging that their death has created an irreplaceable void in their lives. When facing the loss of a spouse its important for the surviving spouse to have a support team around them.  After the initial shock has subsided, the time comes when taking action on whats next is imperative.  Having support partners like a well-trained and compassionate Estate Attorney, Financial Planner and Real Estate Agent can make a huge difference.   If you would like recommendations on local Bradenton|Sarasota area Estate Attorneys, Financial Planners or Grief Counselors, please email me at Jude@JudeCreamer.com Jude Creamer, Broker Associate, HomeSmart, specializing in facilitating real estate transactions for people in life transitions.A special thanks to www.JoinCake.com for the guidance contained in this article.