How To Write A Eulogy - Jefferson Memorial Cemetery & Funeral Home
Jefferson Memorial Cemetery & Funeral Home
For more information about the author, click to view their website: www.jeffersonmemorial.com
Mar 25, 2025
Pennsylvania - Greater Pittsburgh Area
The thought of public speaking throws many people into a
panic. Add to that fear the common discomfort of discussing death, and it's
easy to understand why the idea of delivering a eulogy can be disconcerting. If
you've been asked to write a eulogy, take heart. This article will help you put
your fears in perspective so you can deliver a loving eulogy.
"Why me?"
You were probably asked to deliver a eulogy because of your
close relationship to the deceased, and because the family trusts you to honor
his or her memory on behalf of family and friends. The family doesn't want to
make you feel uncomfortable, foolish or as though your grief is on display.
It's an honor they've bestowed upon you. Helping others say goodbye may turn
out to be a rewarding experience. Don't worry about making mistakes. A eulogy
comes from the heart of the deliverer. I can't see how a mistake could be made
as long as it is honest and true.
"I can't write."
Don't let the thought of writing intimidate you. You don't
have to be a novelist to move people. Everyone has a story to tell and that's
your job as a eulogist. Tell people your story.
In the book "A Labor of Love: How to Write a
Eulogy," author Garry Schaeffer says a eulogy should convey the feelings
and experiences of the person giving the eulogy, and should be written in an
informal, conversational tone. Schaeffer dispels the misconceptions that a
eulogy should objectively summarize the person's life or speak for all present.
Sit down and write from the heart.
Eulogists often write about the person's attributes,
memories and common times that were shared together. Sometimes they include the
deceased's favorite poems, book passages, scripture verses, quotes,
expressions, lines from songs or items that were written by the deceased.
Whatever is selected, it generally reflects the loved one's lifestyle.
These questions should get you thinking:
- How
did you and the deceased become close?
- Is
there a humorous or touching event that represents the essence of your
passed loved one?
- What
did you and others love and admire about the deceased?
- What
will you miss most about him or her?
Some of the simplest thoughts are deeply touching and easy
for those congregated to identify with. For example, "I'll miss her
smile," or "I'll never forget the way he crinkled his nose when he
laughed," are just as good as "I admired her selflessness."
"I can't speak in front of people."
It may not be easy, but you can do it. A funeral is one time
you'll surely have a kind and empathetic audience. They feel for you and are on
your side. You'll only have to speak for five to ten minutes, but your gift
will live in the hearts of the deceased's family and friends.
If you're worried about choking up or breaking down in the
middle of your eulogy, you can take a moment to compose yourself, then carry
on, as Schaeffer recommends, or you can have a back up person ready to step in.
Give a copy of your eulogy to the minister or funeral director so that person
can finish the eulogy if you're unable to continue.
Tips
- Be
honest and focus on the person's positive qualities
- Humor
is acceptable if it fits the personality of the deceased.
- "If
you are inclined to be a perfectionist, lower your expectations and just
do what you can given the short time-frame and your emotional state,"
writes Schaeffer in "Labor of Love."
- Keep
it brief. Five to ten minutes is the norm, but it's a good idea to verify
that with the minister or funeral director.
- Leo
Saguin recommends interviewing family and friends in his book "How to
Write and Deliver a Loving Eulogy."
- Put
the eulogy on paper - at least in outline form.
Eulogy or Sharing Time?
If you're planning the funeral, you might want to consider
"sharing time" as an alternative to a eulogy. In sharing time, the
people congregated pass a microphone or take turns standing up to share their
thoughts. It's like a lot of mini eulogies and is more spontaneous.
Links Offering Examples
- Mona
Simpson, sister to Steve Jobs, delivered a heart wrenching eulogy that was
posted in The New York Times on October 30, 2011 - Click here to read it in its entirety.
- Former
British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher's eulogy for President Ronald
Reagan was telecast at his services in 2005 as she remembered her
friend. Click here to read it in its entirety.
Books Offering Help, Examples and Inspiration
- Books
Offering Help, Examples and Inspiration
- "The
Book of Eulogies: A Collection of Memorial Tributes, Poetry, Essays, and
Letters of Condolence" by Phyllis Theroux (editor)
- "How
to Write and Deliver a Loving Eulogy" by Leo Seguin
- "Final
Celebrations: A Guide for Personal and Family Funeral Planning" by
Kathleen Sublette and Martin Flagg
- "In
Memoriam: A Practical Guide to Planning a Memorial Service" by Amanda
Bennett and Terence B. Foley
- "My
Deepest Sympathies: Meaningful Sentiments for Condolence Notes and
Conversations, Plus a Guide to Eulogies" by Florence Isaacs
- "Remembering
Well: Rituals for Celebrating Life and Mourning Death" by Sarah York
- "Readings
for Remembrance: A Collection for Funerals and Memorial Services" by
Eleanor C. Munro (introduction)
- "Remembrances and Celebrations: A Book of Eulogies, Elegies, Letters, and Epitaphs" by Jill Werman Harris (editor)
- To view the original version of this article visit www.jeffersonmemorial.com/resources/how-to-write-a-eulogy
- Seniors Blue Book was not involved in the creation of this content.
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Whether you're seeking traditional burial, cremation services, or customized memorialization options, Jefferson Memorial has been a beacon of reliability and trust for families throughout Pittsburgh and beyond. With its stunning location, dedicated staff, and a comprehensive range of services, this cemetery and funeral home can meet the needs of every family, no matter their wishes or cultural traditions.Comprehensive Funeral Services Tailored to Your NeedsAt Jefferson Memorial, youll find a full-service funeral home thats equipped to handle every detail with care. The funeral home offers professional and sensitive services, whether you are pre-planning a ceremony or in immediate need of assistance. 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The meticulously maintained grounds are more than just a cemetery; they are a certified Level II arboretum featuring a diverse array of trees, flowers, and plants that create a peaceful atmosphere conducive to healing and remembrance.The cemetery features 47 beautifully landscaped burial gardens, including dedicated sections for children and veterans. This variety ensures that families have multiple options for burial, including personalized memorials and private estates that reflect individual life stories. Jefferson Memorial also offers unique sections, such as a shared space for both pets and people, acknowledging the deep bonds we share with our animal companions.A Trusted Crematory Service You Can Rely OnFor those who prefer cremation, Jefferson Memorial is proud to have its own state-of-the-art crematory on-site. This exclusive service ensures that your loved ones remain in the care of the Jefferson Memorial family throughout the entire cremation process. With the highest standards of respect and care, Jefferson Memorial offers families peace of mind, knowing that all services are performed by a trusted team in a safe, professional environment.The funeral home offers a variety of cremation memorialization options to help you honor your loved one in a meaningful way. Whether you choose cremation jewelry, personalized urns, or Parting Stones solidified stones made from cremated remains you can create a tribute that beautifully reflects your loved ones life.Commemorating the Lives of Veterans and PetsJefferson Memorial is deeply committed to honoring those who have served in the military, and as such, offers special sections for veterans, ensuring that their sacrifices are forever remembered. These veteran sections, along with the cemeterys personalized memorials, serve as a fitting tribute to the men and women who have served this country.Additionally, Jefferson Memorial recognizes the importance of pets in the lives of families and offers dedicated pet sections within the cemetery. These sections provide families with a peaceful resting place for their beloved animal companions. Whether you choose to bury your pet individually or alongside your family members, Jefferson Memorial ensures that every member of your family no matter their species is cared for and remembered with respect.Pre-Planning Services: Giving You Peace of MindPlanning ahead not only alleviates stress on your loved ones, but it also ensures that your wishes are honored. Jefferson Memorial provides pre-planning services to help you make the necessary arrangements in advance. Their compassionate and licensed team is available to discuss options, assist with financial planning, and guide you through the process, ensuring that every detail is taken care of long before the time of need. By pre-planning with Jefferson Memorial, you can ensure that your family will be spared the burden of making difficult decisions during a challenging time.Immediate Need Assistance: Here When You Need Us MostIn a time of immediate need, Jefferson Memorial is always available to help. The funeral home operates 24/7 to assist families in Pittsburgh and the South Hills area, providing support, guidance, and expert care during lifes most difficult moments. Whether you need to make arrangements immediately or simply have questions about your options, our Jefferson Memorial staff is here to help with sensitivity and professionalism.Why Choose Jefferson Memorial?Trusted Legacy: Jefferson Memorial has been a cornerstone of the Pittsburgh community for over 95 years, offering unmatched service and care to families during their most difficult times.Comprehensive Services: From pre-planning to funeral services, cremation, burial, and memorialization, Jefferson Memorial offers a one-stop solution for all your needs.Beautiful, Serene Grounds: The cemeterys 180-acre certified arboretum offers a stunning natural setting that provides comfort and solace to families.Veteran and Pet Services: Special sections and memorials to honor veterans and pets.Personalized Memorials: From keepsake jewelry to custom urns, Jefferson Memorial offers unique ways to memorialize your loved ones.Whether you are planning ahead or need immediate assistance, Jefferson Memorial Cemetery, Funeral Home, Crematory & Arboretum is here to serve you. 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