How You Should (And Shouldn’t) Talk To Family Members About Estate Plans

Author

Rocky Mountain Elder Law

Posted on

Oct 05, 2022

Book/Edition

Colorado - Denver Metro

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Estate plans are love letters to your nearest and dearest. Having an estate plan means that when you die, your family can grieve, free of the burden of challenging decisions. I believe that people are never too old and never too young to start an estate plan, but they might be too late. If you know that a loved one doesn’t have an estate plan in place and you think they should (and really, everyone should), here are some tips for talking to them about it in a constructive way.

Do

  • Emphasize that this is a loving thing they can do for you and the other members of your family. Knowing what they want at the end of their life and afterward will relieve you and your family of hard decisions.
  • Explain that an estate plan is more than just a Will, and these documents don’t just apply after death. Powers of Attorney and Living Wills come into effect when someone is still alive but unable to make decisions for themselves. Neither the Medical Power of Attorney, nor the Financial Power of Attorney survives after death.
    • A Power of Attorney is a legal document that allows someone else (an agent) to act on your (the principal’s) behalf. There are two types of Power of Attorney:
      • Financial Power of Attorney: This involves the management of financial affairs. This document is critical in avoiding the financial exploitation of an older person. Instructions within it can also help pay for care.
      • Medical Power of Attorney: This gives the agent the power to make medical decisions on the principal’s behalf.
    • Living Will: This allows the agent under the Power of Attorney to know exactly what someone wants in certain situations, such as what medical treatment or other care they would or would not want if they become too sick to speak for themselves. Unlike a Will, which only springs into effect on death, a Living Will applies when the person is still alive. Nowadays, there are also specific conditions around COVID mentioned in the Living Will.

These documents smooth the way in difficult situations and mean that not only does your loved one know their wishes will be carried out, but also their family doesn’t have to second-guess what they would want. It leaves no room for uncertainly or family arguments.

If there isn’t a suitable person within a family to be the agent, or there is the potential for family arguments around who the agent should be, you can find a third party to be an agent. I work closely with affordable third parties who can be agents in these circumstances. These are independent, bonded third parties who are neutral and can step in to help families get their ducks in a row.

If you are going to be the agent of a Power of Attorney, a conservator, or a guardian, make sure you fully understand the responsibilities of the role and seek legal advice to ensure that you are following all of the rules correctly.

Don’t

  • Do not force your family member into creating an estate plan, or any of the documents within it. None of this should be done under force or coercion.
  • Do not make it seem like creating an estate plan is a way to get access to that person’s money, or get control of it. This could make them very resistant to the idea.
  • If you are the agent of a Power of Attorney, guardian, or conservator of a family member, do not use any of the funds available to that person for your own benefit – it is for their benefit alone.
  • Do not let your family member fall prey to financial exploitation. Unfortunately, it’s something that I see all too frequently. Be alert for signs of bullying, coercion, or isolation of the older family member. These are common signs that someone might become vulnerable to financial exploitation. 

If you would like to talk to us about estate plans, please call us on 720 457 4573.

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Local Services By This Author

Rocky Mountain Elder Law

Probate 651 Garrison Street, Lakewood, Colorado, 80215

Rocky Mountain Elder Law: Giving families peace of mind by protecting their legacyKate Silburn established Rocky Mountain Elder Law in 2019 as a women-owned law firm dedicated to protecting the rights, dignity, and well-being of vulnerable adults. The firm helps elderly individuals prepare for end-of-life circumstances throughout the Denver Metro area, Colorado's Front Range, and high mountain communities.Our founder Kate Silburn's background as a hospice chaplain and her extensive legal training provide her with unique insight into your emotional and legal challenges. We're deeply committed to advocating for you when you may not be able to speak up for yourself.Were dedicated to elder lawWe focus solely on elder law services, including estate planning, probate, probate litigation, guardianships, conservatorships, and protection against elder exploitation. With our deep understanding of the complexities of aging, we provide compassionate, strategic legal representation to ensure that you and your family receive the justice and security you deserve. We specialize in helping older and disabled people who may be at risk of, or who have experienced exploitation.Comprehensive estate planning services for youWe know that proper estate planning is crucial for ensuring that your assets are protected and that your wishes are honored. Our full range of estate planning services includes:- Wills and Trusts: We create legally sound documents to dictate your asset distribution and protect your beneficiaries- Powers of Attorney: We help you appoint trusted individuals to make financial and healthcare decisions when you're unable to do so- Advance Directives: We establish living wills and healthcare directives to outline your medical preferences- Medicaid Planning: We develop strategies to safeguard your financial resources and help you qualify for Medicaid or long-term care benefitsBy putting these critical legal protections in place, we give you and your family peace of mind knowing your futures are secure.Expert probate administration and litigation when you need it mostWhen your loved one passes away, their estate may go through probate, a court-supervised process for administering assets. We guide you through all aspects of probate, including:- Probate administration: We manage the legal and financial responsibilities of your estate to ensure proper distribution- Contested wills and trusts: We represent you as a beneficiary or personal representative in disputes over asset distribution- Breach of fiduciary duty: We hold executors and trustees accountable if they fail to act in the best interests of an estateProbate litigation can be complex and emotionally charged, but our extensive experience ensures that you receive skilled representation to protect your rights and your loved ones' legacies.Guardianships and Conservatorships to protect your vulnerable loved onesWhen you or your disabled loved ones can no longer manage personal affairs, you may require legal protection through guardianships or conservatorships. We assist you in obtaining these legal arrangements:- Guardianship: We help appoint a responsible individual to make healthcare and personal decisions for you or your incapacitated loved one- Conservatorship: We assist in assigning a trusted individual to manage your financial affairs and assets when you or your loved one is unable to do soThese legal protections are essential when you're concerned about a senior at risk of abuse, neglect, or financial exploitation.Fighting against elder abuse and financial exploitation to protect youWe understand that elder abuse and financial exploitation are growing concerns that can leave you or your vulnerable loved ones at risk of losing assets, independence, and dignity. We're committed to fighting for your justice.We give you and your family peace of mind by protecting your legacyFor expert legal guidance in estate planning, probate, guardianships, and elder abuse protection, contact us at Rocky Mountain Elder Law today. Let our team help you navigate the complexities of aging with dignity and security.

Rocky Mountain Elder Law

Elder Law 651 Garrison Street, Lakewood, Colorado, 80215

Rocky Mountain Elder Law: Giving families peace of mind by protecting their legacyKate Silburn established Rocky Mountain Elder Law in 2019 as a women-owned law firm dedicated to protecting the rights, dignity, and well-being of vulnerable adults. The firm helps elderly individuals prepare for end-of-life circumstances throughout the Denver Metro area, Colorado's Front Range, and high mountain communities.Our founder Kate Silburn's background as a hospice chaplain and her extensive legal training provide her with unique insight into your emotional and legal challenges. We're deeply committed to advocating for you when you may not be able to speak up for yourself.Were dedicated to elder lawWe focus solely on elder law services, including estate planning, probate, probate litigation, guardianships, conservatorships, and protection against elder exploitation. With our deep understanding of the complexities of aging, we provide compassionate, strategic legal representation to ensure that you and your family receive the justice and security you deserve. We specialize in helping older and disabled people who may be at risk of, or who have experienced exploitation.Comprehensive estate planning services for youWe know that proper estate planning is crucial for ensuring that your assets are protected and that your wishes are honored. Our full range of estate planning services includes:- Wills and Trusts: We create legally sound documents to dictate your asset distribution and protect your beneficiaries- Powers of Attorney: We help you appoint trusted individuals to make financial and healthcare decisions when you're unable to do so- Advance Directives: We establish living wills and healthcare directives to outline your medical preferences- Medicaid Planning: We develop strategies to safeguard your financial resources and help you qualify for Medicaid or long-term care benefitsBy putting these critical legal protections in place, we give you and your family peace of mind knowing your futures are secure.Expert probate administration and litigation when you need it mostWhen your loved one passes away, their estate may go through probate, a court-supervised process for administering assets. We guide you through all aspects of probate, including:- Probate administration: We manage the legal and financial responsibilities of your estate to ensure proper distribution- Contested wills and trusts: We represent you as a beneficiary or personal representative in disputes over asset distribution- Breach of fiduciary duty: We hold executors and trustees accountable if they fail to act in the best interests of an estateProbate litigation can be complex and emotionally charged, but our extensive experience ensures that you receive skilled representation to protect your rights and your loved ones' legacies.Guardianships and Conservatorships to protect your vulnerable loved onesWhen you or your disabled loved ones can no longer manage personal affairs, you may require legal protection through guardianships or conservatorships. We assist you in obtaining these legal arrangements:- Guardianship: We help appoint a responsible individual to make healthcare and personal decisions for you or your incapacitated loved one- Conservatorship: We assist in assigning a trusted individual to manage your financial affairs and assets when you or your loved one is unable to do soThese legal protections are essential when you're concerned about a senior at risk of abuse, neglect, or financial exploitation.Fighting against elder abuse and financial exploitation to protect youWe understand that elder abuse and financial exploitation are growing concerns that can leave you or your vulnerable loved ones at risk of losing assets, independence, and dignity. We're committed to fighting for your justice.We give you and your family peace of mind by protecting your legacyFor expert legal guidance in estate planning, probate, guardianships, and elder abuse protection, contact us at Rocky Mountain Elder Law today. Let our team help you navigate the complexities of aging with dignity and security.