“I didn’t know you were so stressed out…”
Glancing over at J, I focused on the orange fluorescent lights flickering in darkness through his glasses as we drove southbound on the freeway. Sensing the involuntary disappointed downturn of the corners of my mouth, I quickly averted my gaze out the passenger window so he wouldn’t see.
You didn’t know I was stressed out? Because me doing dishes at 6:30 in the morning is normal?? How could you not know?
With a sharp inhale, I willed myself back to calm while my thoughts turned to the last time I was this agitated: the night of the 2020 election when I found myself obsessively cleaning the shower at 9:45. Furiously rubbing Comet with bleach powder in a counter-clockwise motion, over and over again into a stain that had never washed out in the last 6 years. “But tonight is the night,” I’d told myself. I would bend this to my will, unlike the political process outside of my control.
It didn’t work. But boy, did I try.
It was a recurrent theme, this over-functioning response to anxiety.
Reinforced time and again, after every fire put out, every emergency dealt with. Every time I impressed someone by being so “calm” and “in control” while I took more and more on in order to avoid dealing with the scary emotion of it all. I’d spent years unraveling this learned behaviour, figuring out the difference between doing things from joy vs creating the illusion of control.
I thought I’d made so much progress, yet here I was again, falling back into the same patterns.
Was I disappointed in J, or was I actually disappointed in myself?
Of course you’re stressed, M. You got your first court subpoena for a child abuse case and you testified under oath for the first time in your life! You’re supposed to be on edge.
My thumb and forefinger massaged the furrow between my eyebrows as I took in another steadying breath.
It wasn’t what I’d expected, but then again, I’d spent all morning conjuring every worst case scenario while washing the dishes and re-arranging the bedroom furniture. Imaginary spiders fell into my eyes as I cleared out a white wall appropriate enough to FaceTime in to court. I read and re-read my well worn notes on the case, tracing my fingers across my cursive script as if the keystrokes of my documentation hadn’t already been seared into my memory. The self-doubt I’d carried for the last year and a half since I’d watched the family walk down the hall morphed into acrid regret, sucking the moisture from my throat while I gave my testimony. DHS’s stamp of approval did nothing to settle my unease.
Even then, I knew.
I knew it would hunt me down some day. I knew the name before the police office laid the subpoena down on the table, stepping away quickly so we could maintain 6 feet for social distancing while I reluctantly picked the heavy envelope up.
The prosecutor was grateful for my meticulous level of detail – courteous, deferential even.
It wasn’t me on trial, after all.
And yet… 8 hours later, traveling to our friends’ house to have a socially distanced front porch hang out on this wet Pacific Northwest March evening, I was still on edge.
“… M? I can’t hear your thoughts, you know. You have to say what you’re thinking.”
“… I’ll be fine.”
He sighed.
It’s not him, it’s you. You keep pushing him out, holding him at bay. Holding everyone at bay.
“Well, can you call someone? Like, I don’t know… someone who’s maybe testified before or… H? He’d be good to talk it over.”
“It’s already done. And I don’t feel like talking about it anymore.”
J recognized the finality in my tone and gave my hand a squeeze.
“Okay…
He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but promptly closed it.
… okay.”
I knew that flash of worry so well. The way he treaded so lightly, as not to disturb a land mine. Me, for all my “resilience”, tip-toed around to not set me off.
I hated it.
But I also dreaded hearing yet another well-intentioned person say:
“That sucks. You did your best. It’ll be okay.”
Or even worse, watching the discomfort grow on their faces as they tried to find the right words to say. Feeling the need to now comfort them after I’d dragged them down with me into the dark secrets of my mind, knowing they were never given a chance to ready themselves for what they were asking for. Providing them the opening for a quick conversation pivot yet again as we try to reckon with the words we all wish I hadn’t said.
How many times did I need to be burned by that scenario to know it wasn’t worth opening that door again?
No, in these moments I don’t need to seek out anyone’s empty reassurances or words of comfort.
I don’t need people telling me I’ll make it through.
I can tell myself these things perfectly well enough on my own.
And if it comes from me, maybe I’ll be more inclined to believe it.
What I need are 36 degree rainy nights with unsuspecting friends, snuggled in sleeping bags to keep warm outside while we try to make the best of these weird pandemic times.
I need to lose myself in the details of work from home muting mishaps and silly Uber Eats drama, mundane tales of this big wide world outside of parental negligence, daily depression/suicide screens in clinic and unhealthy coping mechanisms with a straight line to alcoholism.
I need to ground myself in “normal”.
To remember what it feels like to dabble in the mildly broken.
To remind myself I can live there too.
To convince myself to hold on to these bright spots as well as the dark.
Visceral reactions to witnessed child abuse/trauma is normal.
But if it lasts longer than a month, you may have Secondary Traumatic Stress. It’s a known phenomenon amongst healthcare professionals who take care of children who’ve suffered from abuse/neglect (which is where I first heard about this), but it also has been recognized more recently during the COVID-19 pandemic.
If you’re interested in learning more in how this relates to the ongoing pandemic, please click HERE to this AAP article: Tips for recognizing, managing secondary traumatic stress in yourself.
If you take care of children at risk for abuse/neglect, The National Child Traumatic Stress Network is a great resource as well, specifically this self-care resource. It sounds trite when you go through the checklist, but I utilized many of the practices mentioned here, including writing this post after it happened in 3/2021.
If you find your self-care efforts aren’t enough, please seek professional mental health counseling. If you’re a physician or medical student in the US, you can reach out to the Physician Support Line at 1 (888) 409-0141 for free and confidential support, 7 days a week from 8 am to 1 am EST.
We must take care of ourselves if we’re to continue doing this important work.
Much love,
M
The respiratory system, like many of the other human systems (e.g., cardiovascular, digestive), is a wondrously complex and sophisticated arrangement of organs working together to maintain homeostasis.Contact an Office in Your AreaChronic obstructive pulmonary disease, more commonly referred to as COPD, is a health problem facing adults in the U.S. Because of its progressive nature and increased age as a leading factor, there is a greater prevalence of COPD in seniors. The good news is that many adults can easily reduce their risk of COPD through lifestyle management. COPD represents a group of lung diseases, with the two most common being emphysema and chronic bronchitis.Symptoms of COPD includeConstant coughingWheezingShortness of breathCoughing up mucusTightness in the chestResearch also suggests that there may be a link between poor air quality and COPD. The American Lung Association estimates that between 80-90% of COPD cases result from smoking. Unsurprisingly, secondhand smoke is a significant risk factor as well. Seniors should take the following steps to reduce their risk of COPD:Older adults that smoke should get support from a primary care physician and take steps to quit. There are many programs, services, and products that can help.Seniors should avoid contact with secondhand smoke whenever possible.Reducing exposure to air pollution can help relieve symptoms. Many cities issue poor air quality warnings when these warnings are in effect, seniors should limit outside activities. Seniors should avoid airborne irritants (chemicals, fumes, etc.) in the home.A healthy diet and exercise plan can improve lung function and overall health with direction from a physician.Older adults should understand the impact of aging on their respiratory system and reduce their risk of any related diseases, illnesses, or conditions.Doctors may recommend getting vaccinations for both influenza and pneumococcal pneumonia to guard against further breathing complications.Comfort Keepers Can HelpComfort Keepers elevates the human spirit for todays seniors and their families through a unique, individualized approach to care that helps seniors thrive and achieve greater wellbeing by fostering everyday positive moments, connection, and a more purposeful life no matter their age or acuity. As part of a healthcare team, an in-home caregiver can assist with activities that slow disease progression or reduce the risk for those with respiratory issues. Comfort Keepers caregivers can help by supporting physician-recommended health programs, preparing meals, encouraging prescribed physical activity, reminding seniors to take medications, and providing transportation to scheduled appointments. References:Healthline. Everything You Need to Know About Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD). Web. 2018.Everyday Health. 5 Best Ways to Prevent COPD by Chris Iliades, MD. Web. 2018.Aging Care. An Overview of COPD by National Institutes of Health. Web. 2017.Unity Point Health. The Top 8 Respiratory Illnesses and Diseases. Web. 2014.American Lung Association. Lung Capacity and Aging. Web. 2017.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Chronic Respiratory Disease. Web. 2017.
As seniors age, physical activities can have not only positive physical effects, but positive cognitive effects as well.Contact an Office in Your AreaIn one study, 100 nursing-home residents performed resistance exercises three times a week for 10 weeks. At the end, the exercise group could lift significantly more weight, climb more stairs, and walk faster and farther than their sedentary counterparts.Its been proven time and again that exercise is good for seniors physical and mental health. Regular exercise, even in small amounts, can improve mood, relieve stress and improve health. According to the CDC, four of the five most expensive health conditions older adults face can be prevented or managed with physical activity. But, only about 35% of adults over the age of 65 are physically active. Any senior starting a new exercise plan should consult with their physician. And, it is helpful for family and members of the care team to assist and support physical activity in any way they can. For those that are physically able to begin an exercise program, regular movement can help them live a more vibrant and healthy life. Some of the health benefits include:Improved mental health, mood and outlookPrevention, or improvement of, diseases such as diabetes, obesity, heart disease, and osteoporosisReduced pain from arthritis and minimizing its severityDecreased risk of fallsEach individual has different needs when it comes to exercise and varying health conditions that may need to be taken into consideration before beginning an exercise regimen. A health professional to determine the best approach to physical activity with senior care.There are a variety of ways to incorporate aerobic activity, strength-building exercises, stretching and balance all without leaving the comfort of home! Aerobic exercise Walking in place, dancing or aerobic routines can help get the heart rate up. These activities improve cardiovascular health and help older adults maintain a healthy weight. Strength building exercises there are many easy strength-building exercises that can help seniors build the muscles they need to do everyday activities and prevent muscle loss. And, exercises can be done with household items or using body weight, so no expensive equipment is required. Stretching Stretching before and after exercise can help prevent soreness after exercise. And, the additional benefit is improved flexibility, which is good for older adults physical health. For those looking to improve their flexibility even more, there are exercise routines available online that include yoga or stretching routines specifically for seniors.Balance exercises Balance exercises help seniors prevent falls and improve mobility. Yoga, tai chi, and other low-impact activities can all help improve balance and overall physical health.Those that need a little assistance getting started should not hesitate to reach out to their doctor, family or caregiver. It is never too late to adopt an active lifestyle! Comfort Keepers Can HelpFor seniors that need a little extra help living an active lifestyle, Comfort Keepers caregivers can help with encouragement, support and assistance with physician-prescribed exercise plans. And, caregivers can encourage overall health through meal planning, grocery shopping, meal preparation and activities. Our custom care plans focus on physical and mental health and wellness activities. Our goal is to see that clients have the means to find the joy and happiness in each day, regardless of age or acuity.To learn more about our in-home care services, contact your local Comfort Keepers location today. ReferencesCenters for Disease Control and Prevention. Adults Need More Physical Activity. Web. 2019.Health and Human Services. Facts & Statistics: Physical Activity. Web. 2017.National Council on Aging. Exercise Programs That Promote Senior Fitness. Web.Readers Digest Canada, 5 of the Best Exercises for Seniors to Build Strength, Improve Balance and Boost Heart Health. Web. Harvard Health Publishing. Exercise after age 70. Web. 2007.
More Americans are choosing to age in place. That is, they opt to stay in their homes rather than move to alternative retirement settings.But that often means they must modify their home, so it's not a danger to their safety and health when their physical abilities change.A new career field has risen to address this need: the Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist (CAPS), a program of the National Association of Home Builders. Certified individuals assess homes to identify and recommend modifications to prevent injuries from falls and other risks.According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), one-third of Americans age 65 and over fall each year. The CDC adds that environmental factors lead to about half of all falls that occur at home. In addition to tripping hazards and poor lighting, these factors include a lack of needed modifications, such as bathroom grab bars, handicapped showers, stair railings and ramps. The organization offers a checklist to make sure an older adult's home is as safe as possible.Home modifications help seniors maintain quality of life. They often prevent injuries that lead to a loss of independence and early admission to an assisted living or long-term care facility.The following are examples of commonly recommended modifications:Install grab bars for toilets and tubs and install a walk-in tub and/or tub seatRemove unnecessary throw rugs and fasten down rugs or floor runners to prevent slippingMove furniture to create clear walking pathsKeep objects off the floor and coil or secure cords to the wall to prevent trippingReplace doorknobs with lever door handlesApply non-slip tape on uncarpeted indoor and outdoor stepsReplace standard light switches with rocker-style switchesIncrease the width of doorways and hallways to accommodate wheelchairs and, where possible, lower sinks and countertopsMove often-used items to lower cabinets to avoid the need for step stoolsRepair or replace loose handrails and install adequate lighting in stairwaysInstall an elevator or chair liftInstall an elevated dishwasher or one with drawers for easy accessReplace old stoves with induction cooktops to help prevent burnsReplace ceramic tile floors with hardwood or vinyl for safe standingShedding Light on Home ModificationWhen modifying a home for a senior, don't forget the importance of good lighting. Seniors need two to three times as much light in order to see as well as younger people.Good lighting -- in the form of natural light -- provides seniors safety and other advantages:Sunlight provides a good dose of vitamin D, which helps the body absorb more calcium to strengthen teeth and bones. Choose window treatments that let in sunlight, without glare, to enhance the health of seniors, many of who get outside less than they used to.Daylight also improves psychological health. It lessens the energy-zapping effects of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and other forms of depression.
Millennium Physician Group, established in Port Charlotte, Florida, in 2008 and now headquartered in Fort Myers, has emerged as the premier independent physician group in the Southeast, boasting a network of over 800 healthcare providers. Our commitment to delivering exceptional care is reflected in our comprehensive range of services, which span primary care, specialty care, walk-in centers, radiology and lab services, physician therapy, telehealth, wellness programs, home health, hospital care, and more.At Millennium Physician Group, we prioritize a patient-centric approach, striving to create a truly connected healthcare experience for individuals across the region. Our philosophy is rooted in value-based care, and we consistently engage our physicians to ensure the highest standards of quality and service. By offering a coordinated and comprehensive continuum of care, we aim to be Your Connection to a Healthier Life.With a dedication to excellence and a commitment to innovation, Millennium Physician Group continues to set the standard for healthcare delivery in the Southeast. We are honored to serve our communities and remain steadfast in our mission to improve the health and well-being of every patient we have the privilege to care for.
Millennium Physician Group is a leading provider of comprehensive healthcare services in Florida. With a network of over 400 healthcare providers, we are committed to delivering personalized, high-quality care to our patients. Our team includes primary care physicians, specialists, and advanced practitioners who work together to ensure our patients receive the best possible care.At Millennium Physician Group, we offer a wide range of services, including primary care, cardiology, dermatology, gastroenterology, and more. Whether you need routine preventive care or treatment for a complex medical condition, our team is here to help. We also offer telehealth services, allowing you to access care from the comfort of your home.With locations across Florida, including Fort Myers, Naples, and Port Charlotte, we strive to make healthcare convenient and accessible for our patients. Our goal is to help you live a healthier life and achieve your wellness goals. Visit our website to learn more about our services and find a location near you.
Millennium Physician Group, established in Port Charlotte, Florida, in 2008 and now headquartered in Fort Myers, has emerged as the premier independent physician group in the Southeast, boasting a network of over 800 healthcare providers. Our commitment to delivering exceptional care is reflected in our comprehensive range of services, which span primary care, specialty care, walk-in centers, radiology and lab services, physician therapy, telehealth, wellness programs, home health, hospital care, and more.At Millennium Physician Group, we prioritize a patient-centric approach, striving to create a truly connected healthcare experience for individuals across the region. Our philosophy is rooted in value-based care, and we consistently engage our physicians to ensure the highest standards of quality and service. By offering a coordinated and comprehensive continuum of care, we aim to be Your Connection to a Healthier Life.With a dedication to excellence and a commitment to innovation, Millennium Physician Group continues to set the standard for healthcare delivery in the Southeast. We are honored to serve our communities and remain steadfast in our mission to improve the health and well-being of every patient we have the privilege to care for.