I’m Not Leaving; I’ll Die at Home

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Harmony Senior Referrals

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Jun 09, 2022

That’s what my mom said repeatedly when I tried totalk to her about her need for more medical care and socialization.  She openly admitted to being stubborn and uncooperative but the obvious decline in her mental and physical health made it impossible to avoid the conversation AGAIN! 

She was diagnosed with dementia, depressed and isolated except for my almost silent dad and his caregiving.  He was
“exhausted” and long ago resigned to avoiding conversations/questions that resulted in a fruitless loop or caused her to erupt in anger I would say, “Mom, you know we’re headed for a crisis over your care”. She would reply once more, “I’m not leaving; I’ll die at home.”  What she did not know is that only about 30% of Older Adults are able to die at home. (Study by New England Journal of Medicine)  The majority of us will eventually need a team of medical/non-medical care-givers around the clock to keep us safe and living our best quality of life.

And then it happened!  Dad tripped over a chair in the kitchen, fell and broke his hip.  Off to the hospital for Dad and off to a pre-identified Community for mom.  The crisis made all three of us children drop everything for weeks and deal simultaneously with Dad, Mom and their house. It was exhausting!!! FOR EVERYONE.

After moving to a Senior Community we began to see a change in mom.  She no longer seemed depressed and acted much happier being around people.  She wentout for ice-cream and lunch.  With regular med- management, nutritious meals and socialization she noticeably improved It happens often.  People refuse to move to a Community out of fear and stubbornness. The exhibited independence that served them well earlier in life now becomes a hindrance to their well-being.

Senior Placement Companies understand this and are equipped to help your family/loved one make a much needed transition to an Adult Community.  Avoiding a long, exhausting crisis is far better than waiting for an emergency. Their service is free!  Contact them soon!

Editor’s Note: This article was submitted by Britt and Walt Roberson, owners of Harmony Senior Referrals and may be reached at 303-667-2420 or by email at [email protected]

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Local Services By This Author

Harmony Senior Referrals

Housing Placement & Resource Specialists PO Box 33431, Northglenn, Colorado, 80241

Harmony Senior Referrals was established by Walt and Britt Overlie Roberson. Our Senior Placement Referral Company offers FREE services to clients throughout the Denver Metro, North Denver and Front Range.. We help "at risk" seniors find the "right" senior living community, offering guidance and assurance every step of the way. We know the challenges because "we've been there" personally. We refer to Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care, Adult Family Homes, and Skilled Nursing Communities along with in-home care. Call or email us and we will be happy to talk with you and answer any questions to help find the right choice for your family.