Know Your Parent's Wishes for Aging Before a Medical Crisis Hits

Author

Elder Law of Omaha

Posted on

Jan 20, 2022

Book/Edition

Nebraska - Eastern Region

share-this
Share This

Many adult children in the US live far away from their parents. Managing aging parents or in-law medical events can be a serious challenge without proper preparation and understanding of what your parents' wishes may or may not be, no matter where you live. Do you know what legal documentation your parents have in place regarding their medical care? Do they have advance directives that can help guide your medical decision-making process? Do you and your spouse openly discuss the situations of each other's parents?

Medical advancements increase the longevity for aging Americans, even those with comorbidities such as high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney disease, atrial fibrillation, and other health issues. Hospitals can typically fix non-life-threatening conditions easily enough, but what happens when a parent is released to return home? Are you prepared? Is there a plan? Many adult children tend to practice avoidance, denial, and wishful thinking regarding their aging parents potential medical crisis. It is advisable to organize and prepare for the health changes that inevitably come as your parents age.
More than ever, seniors are choosing to live independently and with autonomy regarding their life decisions. Even if your parents are in a well-run continuing care retirement community, there will come a day when their health will force a change in their lifestyle and living arrangements. Many parents will resist "help," which they may view to be interference. Whether they believe they are being a burden to you or they decline a geriatric care manager's services due to cost concerns, most older people do not want others interfering in their private affairs. The goal is to find a way to help while still affording your parents the dignity and respect they want and deserve. To achieve a comprehensive plan on your parents' behalf, travel to them for an honest discussion. If this is not possible due to COVID-19 restrictions, then virtual meetings are best, followed by phone calls. Review what legal paperwork your parents have and make sure it is in order. Many documents have a signature from many years ago, and things may have changed. The main health care related documents that should be kept current are the health care power of attorney, HIPAA and an advance directive/living will. If these documents have not been reviewed in at least 10 years, it is recommended that you call our office to set up a free consultation.
Create an up-to-date list of all your parents' doctors. The list should include medical contact information and all medicines (prescription or otherwise) that they take. Post-hospital fog and newly prescribed medications from an adverse health event can create confusion in an older parent. Ask about the parameters for health care intervention, such as dialysis and post-hospital during the time of COVID-19. Explain to your parents that being released from a hospital for a non-life-threatening, yet serious health episode is usually followed by the need for a care manager, at-home nursing care, or companion care. This additional care should not fall to a spouse if the parents live together. A spouse has their own unique role to fill as well as personal health challenges with which to contend. Heaping an increased responsibility for spousal health care upon them may be damaging to their own well-being.
Before an unforeseen medical crisis can occur, identify several qualified agencies in your parents' hometown. Review each agency and candidate carefully. It is easier to integrate a suitable candidate at the outset than having the chaos of retaining and releasing multiple workers. Remember that a candidate who works for one parent may not be another parent's preference in the future. Maintain a strong relationship with the agency provider. They are an essential resource, and you will probably need them in the future.

Take the time to learn the specifics of your parents' healthcare and living arrangements. Coordinating your plan of response is contingent upon whether your parents live independently, in assisted living, or in a retirement community. Wherever it is your parents live, their first desire will likely be to go home after an unexpected hospitalization. The desire to return home is a universal truth. Knowing the agencies that can quickly provide the type of care your parent needs in their home setting will go a long way towards a successful transition. The road to recovery may require a few weeks of nurse visits, physical or occupational therapists, or simply companionship. The faster you can meet the need, the easier it will be on your parent.

If a full recovery is not possible, what will be your plan to address the new status of their normal? How much more medical oversight and assistance will they require? Know that in these instances, a parent can quickly spend through Medicare allotments afforded for temporary care. If they do not have long-term care, and many aging Americans do not, you will have to find ways to help them receive the care that they require.
If there are multiple adult children, is there an expectation that all siblings share information and work on the problems at hand, or is one in charge? Is this designation formally documented? Managing sibling relationships is key to avoiding family conflict. Also, understand your parents' financial arrangements. It is likely that your parents will ask about the cost of any new healthcare service being arranged and decline using it. It is hard for a parent to spend down the money they worked their entire life to amass.

Knowing your parents' aging strategies will not address every issue you might encounter because they may not have all the necessary decisions and documents in order. You can only work within the authority they choose to provide. As attorneys, we can help identify gaps in their planning and recommend ways to fill those gaps so everyone can have peace of mind.If youd like to discuss ways we can help, please dont hesitate to reach out.

To discuss your estate planning and long-term care Medicaid planning options, call (402) 614-6400 today to schedule your free consultation with one of our experienced attorneys. Visit our website at www.ElderLawOmaha.com.

Other Articles You May Like

The Importance of Staying Hydrated Comfort Keepers of Grand Junction

Warmer weather is a great invitation to enjoy the outdoors and nature. Staying hydrated is essential for maintaining health and keeping critical bodily functions working properly. Hydration can be a challenge for some seniors because seniors may have a diminished ability to sense thirst, notice changes in body temperature, and may be taking medications that have a dehydrating effect. Keeping a few tips in mind will ensure that seniors stay hydrated and continue to enjoy the activities that bring them joy.Older adults looking to stay hydrated throughout the day should try these tips to get started. Being dehydrated can cause confusion, headaches, elevated heart rate, muscle weakness, and fatigue. Seniors who think they may be dehydrated should discuss their symptoms with their doctor before changing their fluid intake. Seniors should discuss hydration with their doctor as only can a healthcare professional recommend how much water someone needs, and they can also provide guidance and tips on managing water intake.  Create a schedule drinking a lot of water in one sitting can be difficult. However, creating a schedule that accounts for daily activity, physician-recommended intake levels, and the preferences of the senior can help keep hydration on track. Eat water-rich foods cucumbers, watermelon, apples, and other water-rich produce can help seniors get more fluids at mealtimes. Broth is also a good option. Make water more interesting For those that dont enjoy drinking water, adding small amounts of juice or flavoring to water can make it less boring. Popsicles are also a great optionespecially on warm days! Reduce water loss excessive sweating can contribute to dehydration keeping inside temperatures at a reasonable level, and being mindful of fluid loss during outside activities, can help seniors stay hydrated. Dont wait for thirst often, when seniors feel thirsty; they may already be dehydrated. Comfort Keepers Can HelpComfort Keepers can provide support for seniors that are concerned about the issue of hydration. Our caregivers can provide transportation to healthcare appointments, assist with meal preparation and planning, and provide support for physician-prescribed hydration regimens. Our goal is to support physical and emotional care goals and to elevate the spirits of our clients and their families every day.To learn more about our in-home care services, contact your local Comfort Keepers location today by calling (970) 241-8818 References Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Get the Facts: Drinking Water and Intake. Web. 2016. FamilyDoctor.org. Hydration: Why Its So Important. Web. 2017. Mayo Clinic. Dehydration. Web. 2018. WebMD. What is Dehydration? What Causes It? Web. 2019 Healthline The Causes and Symptoms of Dehydration in Older Adults

How Grandparent-Grandchild Relationships Boost Health and Well-Being

Strong relationships between grandparents and grandchildren are more than just heartwarming. They have been shown to contribute to better health, sharper minds, and deeper emotional connections across generations. At Right at Home, weve seen firsthand how relationships in grandfamilies (also called kinship families) improve the quality of life for both older adults and younger family members, says Patti Walter, owner/operator at Right at Home Northern Colorado As an in-home caregiving agency, we not only support day-to-day care but also champion the kind of intergenerational connections that lead to healthier, happier lives. Heres why nurturing the grandparent-grandchild bond mattersand how it helps at any age. The Health Benefits Go Both WaysFor grandparents:Spending meaningful time with grandchildren can reduce the risk of depression, cognitive decline, and even chronic illness. Studies show that older adults who engage regularly with younger generations report lower levels of loneliness and higher life satisfaction. Conversations and shared activities also help keep the mind active. Whether helping with homework, discussing current events, or sharing stories from the past, these interactions stimulate memory, language, and problem-solving skillsall critical for healthy aging. For grandchildren:The benefits arent one-sided, says Walter Grandchildren who have strong relationships with their grandparents often show greater emotional intelligence, resilience, and a stronger sense of identity. Grandparents offer a unique kind of supportless authoritative than a parent, but still deeply rooted in love and life experience. In families where grandparents help with caregivingeither regularly or as neededchildren can experience more stability, better behavior, and improved academic outcomes. And even as teens or adults, grandchildren often gain valuable perspective from a grandparents lived experience. Mind the (Communication) GapOf course, every generation speaks its own language. Misunderstandings between grandparents and grandchildren can happen, especially in todays fast-moving digital culture. But these gaps can be bridged with a bit of patience and intention. Walter suggests some tips for different generations to improve communication with each other:  Dont assume disinterest. Grandparents may not know current slang or how to use current technology, but that doesnt mean they dont care. Grandchildren may seem tied to their toys or screens, butas anyone who has raised children knowsthey are always listening. Ask open-ended questions. Encouraging storytelling and reflection can lead to richer conversations. Be mindful of hearing or cognitive limitations. For grandchildren, making simple adjustmentsspeaking clearly, avoiding noisy environmentscan make a big difference. Grandparents can make the most of mealtimes or times when grandchildren are least busy. Respect different life stages. A teen might be navigating identity or stress about the future; a grandparent may be dealing with health issues or loss. Understanding context helps both sides show compassion, says Walter.  Supporting Each Other Through CareIn-home caregiving often highlights how much grandparents and grandchildren lean on one another. Grandsboth generationshave been caring for each other more and more in recent years. Adult grandchildren may step into caregiving roles, providing companionship, managing medications, or helping coordinate care. On the flip side, grandparents often remain active caregivers in their own rightbabysitting, offering financial support, or simply being a trusted presence. These roles can be deeply rewarding, but also emotionally complex for both parties. Whether or not the grands relationships include caregiving, there are many ways to support them:  Schedule regular visits or calls. Routine contact reduces isolation and builds trust and familiarity. Share activities. Cook a favorite recipe together, take a walk, or explore family history. Use techcurrent and olderto stay connected. Teach each otherwhether its FaceTime or how to play an old record. Include caregiving support. Home care agencies can ease the load by providing daily assistance and helping maintain a safe, comfortable home environment.  Caregiving Equals ConnectionGrandparent-grandchild relationships can be an important part of healthy aging and emotional development for all involved. They remind us that caregiving is more than a service; its a connection. At Right at Home, were proud to support families in building and maintaining those connections, every step of the way. Need help supporting a grandparent or looking for ways to strengthen intergenerational bonds? Our care team is here to help with personalized, in-home services and expert guidance. About Right at Home of Northern Colorado The Northern Colorado office of Right at Home is a locally owned and operated franchise office of Right at Home, LLC, serving the communities of Larimer and Weld County. For more information, contact Right at Home of Northern Colorado at rightathome.net/northern-colorado , at 970-494-1111 or by email at pwalter@ncoloradorah.com.

The Surprising Advantages of Aging: A Celebration of the Golden Years

By Dustin M. Cole, MDGrand River Health Aging often gets a bad rap. Wrinkles, memory slips, and sore joints tend to dominate the conversation. But what if growing older brought with it a host of unexpected giftsones that outweigh the inconveniences of aging? The truth is, aging brings numerous psychological, emotional, social, and even physical benefits that are often overlooked.Happiness Grows with AgeStudy after study has shown that older adults report higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction compared to their younger counterparts. Between the ages of 65 and 85, happiness actually increases, with many seniors ranking among the happiest people in society. Why? Theyve mastered the art of realistic expectations, theyre more comfortable in their own skin, and theyve learned to let go of unnecessary pressure.Many elderly individuals describe the last decade of their lives as the happiest. They emphasize the joy of living in the momentsomething they wish they'd embraced earlier in life.A Positive Shift in PerspectiveWith age comes increased self-esteem, self-control, and altruism. Seniors are more likely to focus on the good, let go of negativity, and cherish meaningful connections. Neurological studies even show that older adults react more strongly to positive images and are less emotionally impacted by negative ones. Emotional stability improves over time, and worry tends to decline with each decade.Sharper Minds, Wiser ChoicesAlthough aging brings some changes in memory and processing speed, it also enhances cognitive abilities in other areas. Older adults often demonstrate stronger problem-solving skills, richer creativity, and greater insight thanks to decades of accumulated knowledge. Theyre better at identifying patterns and making connectionsskills particularly useful in complex, real-life situations.People in their 40s to 60s often outperform younger adults in vocabulary, reasoning, and spatial orientation. Their broader perspective allows for deeper empathy, better conflict resolution, and wiser decision-making.Strengthened RelationshipsOlder adults tend to focus more on what truly mattersfamily, friendships, and meaningful experiences. Deep, supportive relationships are not only emotionally fulfilling but are also key to physical health and longevity. The long-running Harvard Study of Adult Development found that quality relationships are one of the most powerful predictors of happiness and health in old ageeven more so than wealth or fame.The Power of Positive ThinkingAging well isnt just about what happens to your bodyits also about how you think about it. A positive outlook on aging is linked to longer life expectancy, better memory retention, and stronger daily functioning. On average, people with a positive perception of aging live 7.5 years longer than those with a negative outlook.Movement and Connection: Pillars of Healthy AgingStaying physically active is one of the most effective ways to maintain vitality. Regular aerobic activity boosts heart health, strengthens muscles and bones, and improves brain function. It also reduces the risk of depression, improves sleep, and helps prevent chronic diseases like diabetes, heart disease, and even certain cancers.Equally important is staying socially engaged. Maintaining close relationships and participating in community activities help prevent loneliness, reduce stress, and even lower the risk of dementia.Real-Life InspirationCentenarians like Jeanne Calmet (who biked at 100 and quit smoking at 120) and Fauja Singh (who ran marathons into his 100s) serve as vivid reminders that aging doesnt have to mean slowing down. Their secrets? A sense of humor, active lifestyle, and a positive attitude.In SummaryAging brings with it a remarkable opportunity to live more fully, love more deeply, and engage more meaningfully. If you want to age well, remember the formula is simple:Move your body.Feed your mind.Stay connected.Think positively.As Abraham Lincoln said, In the end, its not the years in your life that count. Its the life in your years.