Death is scary. Talking about death isn’t easy. Most people want to fight death and extend their life as long as possible, and not mention it. But no matter what we do, the result will be the same, we will die. But it’s ok to talk about it, to plan for it, and to embrace it. And an End-of-Life Doula can be a helpful guide in making your final journey what you want it to be.
Amongst a growing movement to normalize death, End of Life Doulas have emerged to help fill a need by providing professional guidance, resources, and a compassionate hand during this often-difficult time. Among many other things, a doula can help with planning; understanding the dying process; and assisting the family through grief. Through conversations, a doula can help the dying find meaning in their life through their legacies and can help with logistics and arrangements. When the dying process begins, doulas can ensure that final wishes are being honored and can offer education to those involved about the dying process. Many doulas may be able to sit bedside for some of the final vigil to offer needed breaks for family members. After the passing, doulas can continue to offer support to families as they grieve.
Talking about death will not speed up the process, but it might just help make it more comfortable and meaningful. Give it a try!
Editor’s Note: This article was written by Lucy Crandall, an End-of-Life Doula. She can be reached at 719-641-6850 or at Lucy@goodmourningsco.com
Losing a loved one is a deeply emotional and challenging experience, and sometimes, it's not easy to find the right words to express sympathy when the loss occurs. If you didn't offer your condolences at the time, you may wonder if it's too late to do so now. In this guide, we'll explore the importance of expressing sympathy, even if some time has passed, and offer guidance on how to approach this sensitive situation.1. It's Never Too Late for SympathyGrief is a long and evolving journey. While immediate condolences are appreciated, sympathy can be meaningful and comforting at any stage of the grieving process. It's never too late to reach out and offer your support.2. Acknowledge Your DelayIf you feel uncomfortable about the time that has passed, it's perfectly acceptable to acknowledge it in your message. A simple phrase like, "I'm sorry I didn't reach out sooner," can convey your genuine intentions.3. Choose a Thoughtful MediumConsider how you want to express your sympathy. A handwritten letter, an email, a heartfelt message, or even a phone call can all be appropriate ways to offer your condolences.4. Be Sincere and CompassionateWhen you reach out, express your sympathy with sincerity and empathy. Use kind and understanding language, and let the grieving person know that you care about their well-being.5. Keep It SimpleYou don't need to offer long explanations or profound insights. A heartfelt "I'm sorry for your loss," or "I'm thinking of you during this difficult time," can convey your sympathy effectively.6. Offer Specific HelpIf you are genuinely willing and able to assist, consider offering specific help, such as running errands, providing a meal, or simply being available to listen if they want to talk.7. Respect Their SpaceGrief can be a highly personal experience, and some individuals may not be ready to engage in conversation. Respect their boundaries and allow them to respond or not respond as they feel comfortable.8. Follow UpAfter expressing your sympathy, follow up with a message or gesture of support in the coming weeks or months. Grief can be isolating, and knowing that someone cares can make a significant difference.9. Accept Their ResponseUnderstand that the grieving person may respond in various ways. Some may appreciate your message immediately, while others may need more time to process it. Your intentions matter, even if the response is not immediate. Expressing sympathy, even after some time has passed since a loved one's death, can offer comfort and support to those who are grieving. It's a compassionate gesture that shows you care about their well-being and acknowledge their pain. Remember that grief has no set timeline, and your sympathy can be a source of solace during a challenging journey. Reach out with sincerity, offer your support, and be open to their response, respecting their pace and feelings as they navigate their grief. Your gesture of sympathy can make a meaningful difference in their healing process.
Discover compassionate ways to offer comfort and support to a friend who is navigating the challenging journey of losing a spouse.When a friend loses their spouse, it's a profoundly challenging and emotional time. As a supportive friend, you may wonder how best to help them navigate this difficult journey. In this guide, we'll provide insights on what you can do and say to be there for your grieving friend and offer comfort during their time of loss.Offer Your CondolencesExpress your sympathy with a heartfelt message, even if its as simple as "I'm so sorry for your loss." Let your friend know that you're there for them during this challenging time.Listen ActivelySometimes, the most valuable support is a listening ear. Allow your friend to share their feelings and memories, and be present without judgment or interruption.Use Empathetic LanguageUse phrases like "I can't imagine what you're going through" or "I'm here to support you in any way you need." Show empathy and understanding in your conversations.Avoid Clichs or PlatitudeWhile well-intentioned, phrases like "Everything happens for a reason" or "Time heals all wounds" may not provide the comfort you intend. Instead, offer genuine empathy and a willingness to listen.Offer Practical AssistanceGrieving individuals often appreciate practical help. Offer assistance with household chores, cooking meals, or running errands to ease their daily responsibilities.Respect Their Grief ProcessGrief is unique to each individual, and it has no set timeline. Allow your friend to grieve in their own way and avoid imposing expectations on their healing process.Remember Special DatesAnniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be particularly challenging. Reach out on these occasions to offer support and companionship.Share Fond MemoriesReminisce about the deceased spouse and share stories and memories. This can be a comforting way to reflect and celebrate their life.Encourage Self-CareGrief can take a toll on physical and emotional well-being. Encourage your friend to prioritize self-care, including proper nutrition, rest, and exercise.Offer to Accompany ThemAttend memorial services, support group meetings, or therapy sessions with your friend if they are open to it. Your presence can provide emotional support.Be Patient and AvailableGrief often comes in waves, and your friend may have moments when they need support unexpectedly. Be patient, and let them know you're available when they need you.Respect Their Need for SpaceWhile your support is valuable, also respect your friend's need for solitude and moments of privacy to process their grief.Send Thoughtful Messages or GiftsSend cards, small gifts, or thoughtful messages to remind your friend that you're thinking of them and that you care.Continue to Reach OutGrief doesn't have a set end date. Continue to check in on your friend regularly, even months after the loss, to ensure they know you're there for the long haul. Supporting a friend who has lost their spouse requires compassion, patience, and understanding. Your presence, both physically and emotionally, can provide immense comfort during their grieving process. By offering genuine empathy, active listening, practical help, and a willingness to be there through the ups and downs of grief, you can provide invaluable support to your friend as they navigate this challenging journey. Remember that your friendship is a source of solace and strength during their time of loss.
Many Colorado Seniors and Disabled Adults are concerned about the recent funding discussions about Federal, not State, Medicaid changes, and how they might impact Long-term Care Medicaid benefits here in Colorado. There are 40+ different Medicaid programs in the State of Colorado alone, which are funded differently. Some of these Medicaid programs will be impacted by Trumps changes.At this time, it is important to know that the Medicaid changes imposed do not affect Long-term Care Medicaid in Colorado. If you are currently receiving Long-term Care Medicaid benefits or considering applying, you can rest assured that your eligibility, services, and coverage remain intact. Long-term Care Medicaid has already been funded for 2025, therefore nothing will change this year. In addition, there have not been any major changes to Colorado Long-term Care Medicaid in 20 years, and we dont foresee any changes now. In the meantime, if you have any questions about your coverage or need assistance navigating the Long-term Care Medicaid process, please dont hesitate to reach out to Beneficent. www.DoingGoodForOthers.com/contactus
We plan for everything in life, except the end of it. Death, end of life decisions can be made easier. With the right planning, conversations and documentation the end of life can be celebrated and lived with joy. If you have questions, are curious, or want to create a plan, get in touch today and let's start a conversation. With over 20 years of experience working with seniors, my knowledge of local resources, and my passion for educating about what a "good death" can be, I am here to help, to guide and to support.