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Discover compassionate ways to offer comfort and support to a friend who is navigating the challenging journey of losing a spouse.When a friend loses their spouse, it's a profoundly challenging and emotional time. As a supportive friend, you may wonder how best to help them navigate this difficult journey. In this guide, we'll provide insights on what you can do and say to be there for your grieving friend and offer comfort during their time of loss.Offer Your CondolencesExpress your sympathy with a heartfelt message, even if its as simple as "I'm so sorry for your loss." Let your friend know that you're there for them during this challenging time.Listen ActivelySometimes, the most valuable support is a listening ear. Allow your friend to share their feelings and memories, and be present without judgment or interruption.Use Empathetic LanguageUse phrases like "I can't imagine what you're going through" or "I'm here to support you in any way you need." Show empathy and understanding in your conversations.Avoid Clichs or PlatitudeWhile well-intentioned, phrases like "Everything happens for a reason" or "Time heals all wounds" may not provide the comfort you intend. Instead, offer genuine empathy and a willingness to listen.Offer Practical AssistanceGrieving individuals often appreciate practical help. Offer assistance with household chores, cooking meals, or running errands to ease their daily responsibilities.Respect Their Grief ProcessGrief is unique to each individual, and it has no set timeline. Allow your friend to grieve in their own way and avoid imposing expectations on their healing process.Remember Special DatesAnniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be particularly challenging. Reach out on these occasions to offer support and companionship.Share Fond MemoriesReminisce about the deceased spouse and share stories and memories. This can be a comforting way to reflect and celebrate their life.Encourage Self-CareGrief can take a toll on physical and emotional well-being. Encourage your friend to prioritize self-care, including proper nutrition, rest, and exercise.Offer to Accompany ThemAttend memorial services, support group meetings, or therapy sessions with your friend if they are open to it. Your presence can provide emotional support.Be Patient and AvailableGrief often comes in waves, and your friend may have moments when they need support unexpectedly. Be patient, and let them know you're available when they need you.Respect Their Need for SpaceWhile your support is valuable, also respect your friend's need for solitude and moments of privacy to process their grief.Send Thoughtful Messages or GiftsSend cards, small gifts, or thoughtful messages to remind your friend that you're thinking of them and that you care.Continue to Reach OutGrief doesn't have a set end date. Continue to check in on your friend regularly, even months after the loss, to ensure they know you're there for the long haul. Supporting a friend who has lost their spouse requires compassion, patience, and understanding. Your presence, both physically and emotionally, can provide immense comfort during their grieving process. By offering genuine empathy, active listening, practical help, and a willingness to be there through the ups and downs of grief, you can provide invaluable support to your friend as they navigate this challenging journey. Remember that your friendship is a source of solace and strength during their time of loss.

In health care settings, the body gets medical attention, but the mind and soul matter, too. Older adults in medical care face a battery of health questions, but too often the most consequential one goes unasked and unanswered: What does a good day look like for you today?Medicare requires people to receive a spiritual assessment within their first five days of admission into hospice. Many states allow a nurse to conduct the initial spiritual assessment, but I think it helps both the person and the health care provider for the assessment to be done with someone who has theological training. Many have been certified in clinical pastoral education, or CPE. Nurses can get so focused on the technical to-do lists of medical work  the measurements, the tests, the drug regimens that it can be hard to make time for the issues that matter most to the living human, namely, their happiness, peace and contentment.  As a spiritual care provider with 17 years in senior care facilities, and as a chaplain in the Army National Guard and Air Force National Guard, I have counseled hundreds of people in the final days of their lives.  For older adults and their families, one of the most valuable resources is also little-known a Medicare option that provides spiritual counseling for people in hospice. Longing for ConversationToo often older adults in care are being talked at, not listened to. Many times, I've found that people in the last chapter of life want to discuss their path to the end more than their medical professionals and, especially, more than their loved ones.  It often helps to have that discussion with a professional who is trained to hear them, and, if requested, to comfort and advise them.  RecommendedOpinion: Why I Went on Hospice Even Though I'm Not Dying | Personal PerspectivesThe code of ethics for the leading chaplain and spiritual care associations all prohibit proselytizing. A spiritual care provider should be able to work with someone on their own terms, no matter their beliefs. The United States may be turning more secular, but the fact remains that older adults are the most faith-affiliated of any demographic age group.This initial spiritual meeting is likely to be about the basics: Is the person religious? What is their support system? Will a certain faith-based ritual bring meaning or comfort? Do they have a preferred faith leader? Or is a secular discussion a better fit for the person's beliefs? 

One Sunday morning in early August, Irene woke up with a badly swollen knee. She thought about waiting until Monday to call her Lifespark Nurse Practitioner but was afraid that bacteria from an infected tooth had migrated to her artificial knee joint, something her orthopedic surgeon had warned her about. If left untreated, an infected joint could require additional surgeries, which is why she had taken prophylactic antibiotics before and after a recent dental procedure.The last thing Irene, 74, wanted was another surgery, but based on previous emergency room visits, she dreaded the thought of going to the ER. Youre sitting for hours next to people who are sick with the flu or COVID, when youre already not feeling well yourself, she said. The doctors are regular GPs [general practitioners] so theyd probably just run some tests and send me home with antibiotics, which Im already taking. She was also concerned about the $100 co-pay, adding that she lives in low-income housing and has limited financial resources.Instead, Irene called Urgent Response Services, Lifesparks 24-hour nurse triage line.Convenient, efficient, and trustedAs a member of Lifespark COMPLETE (LSC), Irene qualified for Urgent Response Services which provides acute-level care for members in their homes. Within minutes, Leah Castle, RN, BSN, Mobile Urgent Responder, was on her way, getting briefed by the triage nurse on Irenes concerns.Once at Irenes home, Leah logged onto the secure portal to access key client information, including Irenes health history, medications, allergies, support system, financial considerations, contingency plans, and goals of care. Having this level of detail at our fingertips helps us make more accurate, more efficient assessments, she said. It also gives us a more complete picture of the member, so we can offer recommendations that align with their goals and lifestyle.After taking Irenes vitals, she drew some blood, took a photo of the worrisome knee, and talked through her findings with the on-call provider. They were both confident that it wasnt a bacterial infection but would wait for the lab results for confirmation. Leah sent a note to Irenes COMPLETE team to schedule a follow-up for the next week. In the meantime, Irene was to continue the antibiotics, take a Tylenol every six hours, ice her knee, and keep the leg elevated as much as possible.Leah dropped off the blood samples at the hospital lab for processing, and in less than two hours, the on-call physician had the results. Leah called Irene to let her know that the labs were negative for systemic infection and that her inflammatory markers were within normal range.Irene was relieved. This was so much better than going to the ER, she said.Rule-outs and rule-insIn Leahs experience, older adults often go to the ER to make sure theres nothing seriously wrong. In fact, studies show that roughly 32% of hospital ER visits are non-urgent and unnecessary. As a Mobile Urgent Responder, shes able to rule out those non-emergencies, efficiently and effectively, from the persons home.That was the case with Irene: shes had both knees replaced and was very concerned that shed need more surgery, Leah said. We were able to put her at ease and assure her that we would continue to monitor and manage her symptoms from home. If there is something to be concerned about, Leah added, the Mobile Urgent Response team is able rule in the need for emergency care.Building on career experienceHaving the confidence to make quick, accurate assessments and communicate them to Lifesparks medical experts comes from her diverse career background. One of Leahs first nursing jobs was on a cardiac step-down unit, a fast-paced, intense environment where the nurses were constantly working with different physicians and therapists. I learned how to quickly build trusting relationships with the providers and also with families during some of the darkest moments of their lives, she said.Leah said she grew professionally in that environment, gaining skills and knowledge that prepared her for her next job, at a long-term acute care hospital. The individuals she cared for had complex diagnoses and illnesses, such as extensive wounds, traumatic brain injury, chronic kidney disease, and respiratory failure. Patients were here for two to six months or more, many of them on ventilators and feeding tubes, so I got to know their families and learned how to support them, too, she said.In 2017, Leah joined Lifespark Community Home Care as their first on-call nurse. Coming into the Home Care setting with my background was powerful, because I knew what my clients had just walked out of, whether that was the hospital or rehab, and now I could help them stay healthy at home, she said.Seven years later, she was recruited for Lifesparks Mobile Urgent Response team. I feel like each step in my career has prepared me for the next one, and now, as a Mobile Urgent Responder, I can be the eyes and ears of our providers in the home, she said. I can also bring care and compassion and empathy to our members, so they feel confident in the care were providing.Benefits of early interventionThe Mobile Urgent Response team has been most successful when members call the triage line before their symptoms progress to a critical level. The team has been able to treat early symptoms of congestive heart failure (CHF) and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) in the home, often with a short-term medication adjustment. However, if a CHF or COPD exacerbation isnt treated, the client would likely need to be hospitalized for IV therapy and increased respiratory support. Recently, Leah collaborated with the on-call provider to diagnose a painful ear infection that had developed quickly. The physician faxed a prescription for antibiotics to the clients pharmacy which they were able to pick up and start taking that same day.Its really fulfilling and rewarding to be able to offer this service to our members and their families who want to be supportive but cant always be there in person, Leah said. Theyre in good hands with Lifespark.To learn how Lifespark helps seniors stay healthy at home, visit Lifespark.com or call 952-345-8770.