Mistakes, Regrets and Successes of a Caregiver

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Mar 07, 2016

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The role of caregiver can be the hardest and most rewarding.
It is also one for which very few of us are prepared to accept. We can only do the best we can with the knowledge we have. Therefore, it helps to know experiences of others. Here are a few to consider.

Mistakes:

If you are a spouse, parent or child it is difficult to separate the relationship role from the caregiver role. Besides of this conflict, there is the issue of responsibility. Taking control often manifests as being a mother hen and trying to anticipate every move, every need. Yet, the patient's abilities to perform and make decisions need to be considered as long as appropriate. Balance, flexibility and strength are required from the caregiver.
Not understanding the consequences of end of life decisions makes it difficult to draw the line between connecting the problems of the patient as part of the process and wanting treatment. Some suggestions can be found from providers, on line, friends, caregiver resources and blogs where you can ask questions.

Regrets:

Information is often limited. For instance: Not knowing what to expect of the process and the providers; how to communicate to patient about the illness, safety and decreasing abilities; the contradictions between the various health care providers and what you may see and feel can cause lingering regrets. Expect to feel exhausted and defensive. Try to step back and not react with anger and frustration.
When being on guard and aware of the patient's condition becomes a priority, the quality time with a loved one is diminished. How do you want to remember your time together?

Successes:

Take care of yourself. Keep in contact with friends and socialize as much as possible. Monitor your mental and emotional state. Find ways to be positive, be grateful, listen to uplifting programs. Remind yourself you will get through this experience.
You may eventually be alone. Use this time to visualize what you want if this occurs. What will your home be like? What goals will keep you moving forward? How can you use your talents and energies? You don't have to rush into anything such as housing, money, relationships. The quantity and speed of recovery are not important. However, moving forward i

After care giving.

Remind yourself of the positives. Know you did all you could with the knowledge you had at the time. Begin calmly taking care of the tasks at hand and ask for help. Determine what you'd like to do. As you reach out, life's opportunities will expand.

Above all, do not feel guilty for what you didn't do or what you now feel were mistakes. One final caveat. By the grace of God, you entered this uncharted path. Know your experience has, and is making you stronger.

What would you have done differently? Probably nothing. You did what you did from where you were and the information you had or could accept. Grant yourself this consolation.

Put aside your fears and the hardships of the tasks. Think about the connection you've always wanted with this person. Beyond the situation, there is love. Let love be your fondest memory, your greatest gift to each other.

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Providing care for a loved one is a profound commitment, and in Pennsylvania, various programs exist to support family caregivers in this vital role. While Personal Care Assistance (PCA) broadly refers to services that help individuals with daily living activities, its important to understand that paid family caregiving in Pennsylvania primarily operates through specific Medicaid waivers. These initiatives aim to support the invaluable work of caregivers while allowing loved ones to remain in the comfort and familiarity of their own homes or the homes of family members.Understanding Personal Care Assistance (PCA) in PennsylvaniaIn Pennsylvania, Personal Care Assistance (PCA) refers to the services that help individuals with daily living activities and household tasks, enabling them to live independently. Its crucial to differentiate this from Personal Care Homes (PCH), which are residential facilities that provide housing, meals, supervision, and assistance, but typically do not offer third-party reimbursement for family caregivers providing care within them.Instead, paid family caregiving for PCA services in Pennsylvania primarily operates through various Medicaid waivers, also known as Home and Community-Based Services (HCBS) waivers. These waivers are designed to provide direct assistance with Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) and household services for older adults or individuals with disabilities who live in their own homes or the homes of loved ones. The services provided under these waivers are what constitute Personal Care Assistance in the context of paid family caregiving.Key Pennsylvania Medicaid Waivers for PCAPennsylvania offers several Medicaid waivers that facilitate paid family caregiving for Personal Care Assistance, each with specific eligibility criteria and rules regarding family members.1. Community HealthChoices (CHC) Waiver: Getting Paid to Care for Loved OnesThe Community HealthChoices (CHC) waiver is Pennsylvanias most common Medicaid managed care program that facilitates paid family caregiving for PCA. It is designed for individuals aged 21 or older who are eligible for both Medicaid and Medicare and require a nursing facility level of care. This program consolidates several former waivers into a single, comprehensive system and is administered by private healthcare insurance companies contracted by the state.Recipient Eligibility for CHC: To qualify for the CHC program, the individual needing care must meet several criteria: Age: The recipient must be 21 years of age or older. Dual Eligibility: They must be eligible for both Medicaid and Medicare. Functional Eligibility: A physician must certify that the individual has a condition requiring long-term services and supports, specifically an inability to perform essential Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) such as bathing, toileting, or transferring. A trained assessor will also conduct a functional eligibility determination to confirm the level of care needed. Financial Eligibility: The individual must meet specific income and/or asset requirements, determined by the local County Assistance Office (CAO). For example, in 2023, the income limit to qualify for the Pennsylvania Medicaid waiver program under CHC was $2,742 per month. Caregiver Eligibility (Who Can Be Paid, Spousal/Guardian Restrictions): Pennsylvanias Medicaid waivers generally permit family members, such as adult children, siblings, and even friends, to be compensated for providing care. However, under the CHC waiver, spouses (husband or wife) are typically not eligible to be paid caregivers. Similarly, individuals holding Power of Attorney (POA) for the care recipient or legally responsible guardians (such as parents caring for children under 18) are also generally excluded from paid caregiver roles under this program.Application Process: The process involves contacting the Pennsylvania Independent Enrollment Broker (IEB) at 1-877-550-4227, applying on the COMPASS website, and submitting necessary documentation, including physician certification and financial information. Once approved, the care recipient can select a state-licensed home care agency that employs family members, such as Avondale Care Group.Services Covered & How Agencies Facilitate Payments: The CHC waiver covers a range of personal care and home care services. This includes direct assistance with Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) like bathing, dressing, meal preparation, and medication management, as well as various household services. Family caregivers are hired as regular employees of the licensed home care agency, which handles all administrative tasks, including payroll and compliance.Payment Rates & Benefits for Family Caregivers: The compensation for family caregivers through Medicaid waiver programs in Pennsylvania typically ranges between $10 and $15 per hour. The number of hours approved depends on the care recipients health and needs, with a maximum of 35 hours of care per week often allowed. The maximum weekly pay rate for Pennsylvania is up to $700 per week, which aligns with or exceeds these hourly rates, potentially including overtime or other factors. Many agencies also offer additional benefits that significantly enhance the overall compensation package for family caregivers. These can include overtime pay, weekly pay, free Certified Nurse Aide (CNA) training for eligible caregivers, holiday pay (often 1.5 times the regular rate for specified holidays), 401k plans with company matching, company-sponsored healthcare insurance (with substantial premium coverage), flexible schedules, and paid time off.2. OBRA WaiverThe OBRA Waiver is designed to support individuals aged 18-59 who have a severe developmental physical disability and require an Intermediate Care Facility/Other Related Conditions (ICF/ORC) level of care. 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How Hiring a Caregiver Can Truly Transform Daily Life

How Hiring a Caregiver Can Truly Transform Daily Life As our loved ones age, simple everyday actionslike getting dressed, preparing a meal, or remembering medicationscan turn into significant challenges. This is where hiring a caregiver becomes not just helpful but life-changing. In-home care organizations such as Seniors Helping Seniors Pittsburgh provide compassionate, personalized support, empowering seniors and alleviating burdens for family caregivers. Understanding Activities of Daily Living Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) refer to the essential tasks we all need to handle routinely: bathing, dressing, grooming, toileting, eating, and mobility. When any of these become difficult, safety, health, and independence are directly affected. Yet, with help from a caring caregiver, seniors dont just survivethey thrive. What Makes Seniors Helping Seniors Pittsburgh Special? Based in Northeastern Pittsburgh and Southwestern Pennsylvania, Seniors Helping Seniors is more than a serviceits a community. They employ senior caregivers who deeply understand aging because theyre experiencing it too seniorshelpingseniors.com+9locations.seniorshelpingseniors.com+9locations.seniorshelpingseniors.com+9seniorsbluebook.com+1seniorsbluebook.com+1. No strangers in suitsjust friends who relate. The local offices offer full-spectrum in-home care services, including: Personal care & daily living assistancehelp with bathing, dressing, grooming, toileting, eating/drinking, and safe mobility locations.seniorshelpingseniors.comseniorshelpingseniors.com+5locations.seniorshelpingseniors.com+5seniorsbluebook.com+5 Meal preparation & grocery shoppingensuring nutritious, home-cooked meals without the hassle seniorsbluebook.com+1seniorsbluebook.com+1 Medication reminderskeeping daily routines on track members.pghnorthchamber.com+8locations.seniorshelpingseniors.com+8seniorsbluebook.com+8 Transportation & errandsrides to appointments, social visits, errands, and even outings seniorshelpingseniors.com+8locations.seniorshelpingseniors.com+8seniorsbluebook.com+8 Light housekeepingcovering laundry, dusting, dishes, vacuuming so the home stays safe and comfortable locations.seniorshelpingseniors.com+2seniorsbluebook.com+2seniorsbluebook.com+2 Companionship & socializationfostering emotional well-being through shared hobbies and warm conversation locations.seniorshelpingseniors.com+5locations.seniorshelpingseniors.com+5seniorsbluebook.com+5 The Real-Life Difference Take Mary, who recently shared: My dependable and friendly Seniors Helping Seniors caregiver provides transportation to my scheduled appointments as well as taking care of household errands... 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Connecting Senior Care Providers with Caregivers Online

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        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:188
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:99
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/Queue.php:338
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:93
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Bus/Dispatcher.php:244
      • DatabaseQueue.php#188seniorsbb_db_dev2.79msinsert into `queue_jobs` (`queue`, `attempts`, `reserved_at`, `available_at`, `created_at`, `payload`) values ('default', 0, null, 1751999322, 1751999322, '{\"uuid\":\"39cb9d90-fbe5-407c-ae34-b1f98d7483a7\",\"displayName\":\"App\\\\Jobs\\\\TrackLibrary\",\"job\":\"Illuminate\\\\Queue\\\\CallQueuedHandler@call\",\"maxTries\":null,\"maxExceptions\":null,\"failOnTimeout\":false,\"backoff\":null,\"timeout\":null,\"retryUntil\":null,\"data\":{\"commandName\":\"App\\\\Jobs\\\\TrackLibrary\",\"command\":\"O:21:\\\"App\\\\Jobs\\\\TrackLibrary\\\":5:{s:13:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000track_data\\\";a:0:{}s:13:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000usercookie\\\";s:18:\\\"us734trb76et634tbr\\\";s:7:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000type\\\";s:7:\\\"article\\\";s:13:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000event_type\\\";s:6:\\\"appear\\\";s:16:\\\"\\u0000*\\u0000inputDataType\\\";s:4:\\\"data\\\";}\"}}')
        Bindings
        • 0: default
        • 1: 0
        • 2: 
        • 3: 1751999322
        • 4: 1751999322
        • 5: {"uuid":"39cb9d90-fbe5-407c-ae34-b1f98d7483a7","displayName":"App\\Jobs\\TrackLibrary","job":"Illuminate\\Queue\\CallQueuedHandler@call","maxTries":null,"maxExceptions":null,"failOnTimeout":false,"backoff":null,"timeout":null,"retryUntil":null,"data":{"commandName":"App\\Jobs\\TrackLibrary","command":"O:21:\"App\\Jobs\\TrackLibrary\":5:{s:13:\"\u0000*\u0000track_data\";a:0:{}s:13:\"\u0000*\u0000usercookie\";s:18:\"us734trb76et634tbr\";s:7:\"\u0000*\u0000type\";s:7:\"article\";s:13:\"\u0000*\u0000event_type\";s:6:\"appear\";s:16:\"\u0000*\u0000inputDataType\";s:4:\"data\";}"}}
        Backtrace
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:188
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:99
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/Queue.php:338
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Queue/DatabaseQueue.php:93
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Bus/Dispatcher.php:244
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#51seniorsbb_db_dev1.43msselect * from `company` where `company`.`id` is null and `company`.`id` is not null and `company`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:51
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#66seniorsbb_db_dev1.61msselect `books`.*, `bookeditionmapping`.`recordId` as `pivot_recordId`, `bookeditionmapping`.`bookId` as `pivot_bookId` from `books` inner join `bookeditionmapping` on `books`.`id` = `bookeditionmapping`.`bookId` where `bookeditionmapping`.`recordId` = 4790 and `bookeditionmapping`.`type` = 'article'
        Bindings
        • 0: 4790
        • 1: article
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:66
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#85seniorsbb_db_dev1.61msselect * from `listingcontacts` where `listingcontacts`.`listingId` = 4790 and `listingcontacts`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' and `primary` = 1 limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 4790
        • 1: article
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:85
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#141seniorsbb_db_dev1.45msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 4790 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 4790
        • 1: article
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:141
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#146seniorsbb_db_dev1.4msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 4790 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 4790
        • 1: article
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:146
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#299seniorsbb_db_dev1.68msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 15503 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' and `primary` = 1 limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 15503
        • 1: article
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:299
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#299seniorsbb_db_dev1.53msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 15253 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' and `primary` = 1 limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 15253
        • 1: article
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:299
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#301seniorsbb_db_dev1.42msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 15253 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 15253
        • 1: article
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:301
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#299seniorsbb_db_dev1.38msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 15189 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' and `primary` = 1 limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 15189
        • 1: article
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:299
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php#301seniorsbb_db_dev1.34msselect * from `listingattachment` where `listingattachment`.`listingId` = 15189 and `listingattachment`.`listingId` is not null and `type` = 'article' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 15189
        • 1: article
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/3968f797b22a9c6b17ff202289cdb425.php:301
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      • 6162bf581736fa7f4e9b70a52a1034b4.php#2seniorsbb_db_dev3.01msselect * from `articles` where `articles`.`deleted_at` is null order by `id` desc limit 3
        Backtrace
        • var/www/html/sbb/shared/storage/framework/views/6162bf581736fa7f4e9b70a52a1034b4.php:2
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
      App\Models\Article
      7Article.php#?
      App\Models\Category
      1Category.php#?
      App\Models\ArticleCategory
      1ArticleCategory.php#?
      App\Models\ListingAttachments
      1ListingAttachments.php#?
          ClearShow all
          Date ↕MethodURLData
          #12025-07-08 12:28:42GET/articles/mistakes-regrets-and-successes-of-a-caregiver41910