Mistakes, Regrets and Successes of a Caregiver

Posted on

Mar 07, 2016

Share This
The role of caregiver can be the hardest and most rewarding.
It is also one for which very few of us are prepared to accept. We can only do the best we can with the knowledge we have. Therefore, it helps to know experiences of others. Here are a few to consider.

Mistakes:

If you are a spouse, parent or child it is difficult to separate the relationship role from the caregiver role. Besides of this conflict, there is the issue of responsibility. Taking control often manifests as being a mother hen and trying to anticipate every move, every need. Yet, the patient's abilities to perform and make decisions need to be considered as long as appropriate. Balance, flexibility and strength are required from the caregiver.
Not understanding the consequences of end of life decisions makes it difficult to draw the line between connecting the problems of the patient as part of the process and wanting treatment. Some suggestions can be found from providers, on line, friends, caregiver resources and blogs where you can ask questions.

Regrets:

Information is often limited. For instance: Not knowing what to expect of the process and the providers; how to communicate to patient about the illness, safety and decreasing abilities; the contradictions between the various health care providers and what you may see and feel can cause lingering regrets. Expect to feel exhausted and defensive. Try to step back and not react with anger and frustration.
When being on guard and aware of the patient's condition becomes a priority, the quality time with a loved one is diminished. How do you want to remember your time together?

Successes:

Take care of yourself. Keep in contact with friends and socialize as much as possible. Monitor your mental and emotional state. Find ways to be positive, be grateful, listen to uplifting programs. Remind yourself you will get through this experience.
You may eventually be alone. Use this time to visualize what you want if this occurs. What will your home be like? What goals will keep you moving forward? How can you use your talents and energies? You don't have to rush into anything such as housing, money, relationships. The quantity and speed of recovery are not important. However, moving forward i

After care giving.

Remind yourself of the positives. Know you did all you could with the knowledge you had at the time. Begin calmly taking care of the tasks at hand and ask for help. Determine what you'd like to do. As you reach out, life's opportunities will expand.

Above all, do not feel guilty for what you didn't do or what you now feel were mistakes. One final caveat. By the grace of God, you entered this uncharted path. Know your experience has, and is making you stronger.

What would you have done differently? Probably nothing. You did what you did from where you were and the information you had or could accept. Grant yourself this consolation.

Put aside your fears and the hardships of the tasks. Think about the connection you've always wanted with this person. Beyond the situation, there is love. Let love be your fondest memory, your greatest gift to each other.

Other Articles You May Like

Aging in Place? Stay Connected with Accessible Telecommunications Services.

Did you know that Pennsylvania has the fifth largest older adult population in the nation with 3.4 million individuals?1 As the population continues to age, more people are weighing their options when it comes to downsizing, moving into a senior living community, or choosing to age in the comfort of their homes. According to a 2021 Home and Community Preferences survey by AARP of 2,826 U.S. adults, about 75% of people over the age of 50 expressed that they would like to remain in their current houses and communitiesmeaning aging in place is becoming a more prevalent life choice among older adults.2What to Know About Aging in PlaceIf youre leaning toward spending your years in the place where you feel the most content and safe, then you need to be willing to make some modifications to your home. As you age, your needs change, which means certain features in your home may need to be adjusted. Wider doorways and walkways; accessible bathrooms, kitchens, and bedrooms; ramps and lifts; non-slip floors; and stability aids like grab bars and handrails are some of the most common enhancements that come to mind, but assistive technology can play an important role in aging in place too.Many people choose to age in place because they want to maintain their independence, and assistive technology helps make that possible. From smart home devices that allow you to control the temperature or lights with voice commands to amplified phones and doorbells, there are plenty of high-tech tools that can help you navigate your day-to-day with ease. If youre a senior with hearing loss, Captioned Telephone Relay Service is a free service that allows you to read captions of whats said to you during phone conversations using a uniquely designed CapTel phone.CapTel Makes Phone Conversations Clearer Using CapTel, you can confidently and securely age in place knowing that you can effectively communicate over the phone. Whether youre calling loved ones to catch up, chatting with your doctor, or contacting first responders in an emergency, CapTel is a dependable communication solution for older adults who have hearing loss.Best of all, the CapTel captioning service is free and available in English and Spanish, with captions appearing on the bright, built-in display screen of the CapTel phone just moments after the other caller has spoken. CapTel phones can be purchased directly for $75 through a third-party vendor, or qualified Pennsylvania residents can apply for a CapTel device through the states Telecommunications Device Distribution Program (TDDP)which provides specialized equipment to individuals who find it difficult to use a standard phone. Age in Place Confidently with CapTelTo learn more about CapTel, including how to purchase or apply for an assistive communication device, visit pactrs.com today!Sources:1Master Plan for Older Adults, Pennsylvania Department of Aging 22021 Home and Community Preferences Survey: A National Survey of Adults Age 18-Plus | Joannne Binette & Fanni Farago, AARP Research CapTel is a registered trademark of Ultratec, Inc.

Why Choose A Winter Respite At A Personal Care Home

Moving to a personal care home is a big decision based on many factors. Cold winter months are drawing near, and the Farmers Almanac is forecasting a Winter Wonderland for the northeastern United States. Keeping this in mind, and to avoid winter chores, this is a great time to consider a respite stay and experience first-hand what life is like living in a personal care home.Experience an easier moveWinter weather conditions like snow and ice can complicate the move to a personal care home. Moving before bad weather conditions arrive allows seniors to avoid potential weather-related delays, accidents or other challenges during transportation and when moving belongings.Try out the personal care homeRespite care offers seniors a chance to try out a retirement community without making a long-term commitment. Country Meadows offers all-rental retirement living accommodations, so seniors are not beholden to a lengthy lease or an ownership stake. A respite stay can help older adults see for themselves whether or not the community is a good fit for a permanent move.Avoid winter weather challengesMany older adults struggle with winter chores such as shoveling snow, chipping away ice, walking on icy sidewalks, managing heating systems and driving in inclement weather. A temporary respite stay at a personal care home eliminates these responsibilities, as well as many other daily chores, removing worries. It provides seniors the opportunity to settle into their new living arrangement without the added stress of winter weather.Access daily assistance and health servicesAlong with cold weather, the winter season can also bring several challenges for older adults to maintain wellness. A major benefit to living at a personal care home is prompt, easy access to health resources and assistance. This is especially beneficial for seniors with health concerns and mobility issues. If a resident requires assistance with medications, dressing, bathing or another daily activity, simply push a call button and a personal care associate can provide needed help. And a wellness team keeps an eye on each residents overall health.Reduce lonelinessMany seniors experience loneliness and isolation while living at home. The winter months can magnify these feelings. Respite care offers opportunities for social interaction and engagement with new neighbors and friends in the same age group, reducing feelings of loneliness and providing mental stimulation.Participate in activities, enjoy entertainment and outingsSenior living communities often offer a variety of enriching activities and events. At Country Meadows, our Vibe program considers each residents physical, cognitive, social and spiritual needs and customizes activities, entertainment, outings and purposeful service opportunities. Events are organized seasonally by categories and offer opportunities for socialization and fun. When living at a personal care home, one doesnt need to brave the elements outside, because all the fun during winter is happening indoors, fostering a sense of belonging among residents.Provide relief for family caregiversA respite stay offers a break for family members and friends providing care in a seniors private home. This break is especially appreciated during winter months when private caregiving responsibilities might become more demanding due to inclement weather, illnesses or holiday-related activities.When considering respite care at a personal care home or retirement community over the winter months, its important to do some homework. Families and seniors should research and visit potential facilities to ensure the community can meet specific needs and preferences of each individual. The decision for respite care should prioritize the well-being, comfort and specific needs of each person, aiming to provide a supportive and enriching experience.  Contact Country Meadows Retirement Communities today.

The Importance of Regular Health Check-ups for Seniors

In the journey through the golden years, regular health check-ups emerge as a cornerstone of proactive senior care, offering a vital means of maintaining overall well-being. As our bodies naturally undergo changes with age, routine health examinations become essential for early detection and prevention of potential health issues. Regular check-ups enable healthcare professionals to monitor key indicators such as blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and glucose levels, providing invaluable insights into an individual's cardiovascular and metabolic health. Detecting and addressing these factors early on can significantly reduce the risk of chronic conditions, ensuring seniors can lead healthier and more active lives.Moreover, regular health check-ups serve as a proactive approach to holistic senior care, encompassing not only physical but also mental well-being. Cognitive health assessments, screenings for conditions like osteoporosis, and discussions about mental health concerns are integral components of these check-ups. By fostering open communication between seniors and healthcare providers, these examinations create opportunities for personalized care plans and the management of age-related health challenges. In essence, the importance of regular health check-ups for seniors extends beyond the diagnosis of illnesses; it embodies a commitment to preventive care, early intervention, and the promotion of a higher quality of life in the later years.