Mom needs more care: Is it time for a move?

Posted on

May 11, 2020

share-this
Share This
Knowing when and if its time for a loved one to move to a personal care home or assisted living is not easy. Ideally most people want to age in place for as long as possible. However, if ones independence and well-being start to decline and the practicality, safety, and the benefits of aging in place also falter, a change may be needed. Some older adults recognize and may even welcome this need for change. But more often families struggle with the timing of a move, which is compounded with feelings of guilt and uncertainty, and sometimes sheer resistance from their loved one about moving.
So how do you know when its time for a change? Below are some key indicators that can help you determine if a move may be necessary:

Caregiving is significantly interfering with work, relationships and other responsibilities.
Healthcare professionals recommend a change.
The loved one asks for a change.
Despite your best efforts, things worsen (increased falls, illness and/or hospitalizations).
The loved one is in danger of harming themselves or others, especially those with dementia.
The caregivers physical and mental health and wellness are worsening.
The caregiver is depleted, becoming angry, neglectful, resentful, frustrated.
The caregivers coping methods become destructive (i.e. substance abuse).

Furthermore, youre not alone in determining whether your loved one needs care. A medical evaluation and written order from their physician is required. Plus the residence will assess your loved to determine the right level of care.
Other Considerations
Aging in place can have its limitations. In some cases, it can lead to caregiver burnout and can be overwhelming and unsafe if not well planned. Isolation, boredom and inactivity can also be problematic, especially if the person has stopped driving, has limited mobility and/or their health is on the decline.
Making this choice is not just about the need for care. Personal Care not only provides hands-on care and peace of mind, but it can also foster an improved and more active lifestyle. Socialization and peer activity strengthen the mind, body and soul with a wide range of activities, clubs, events and amenities.
Appreciating the value of proactively moving to personal care or assisted living can be comforting and well-paced. It lends itself to a more positive transition, rather than a power struggle compounded by critical need and hurried placement.
________________________
Editors Note: This article was submitted by Matthew Gallardo, Director of Community Engagement and Coaching at Messiah Lifeways.

Other Articles You May Like

Housing - Other Types in Lafayette, CO

A smaller apartment can make sense when you want to spend less time maintaining a house and more time doing things you enjoy. For older adults who manage their own daily routines, a 55+ rental community is one option to explore. The right fit depends on the apartment, the lease, and which shared spaces you would actually use. What Is 55+ Active Adult Housing?Active adult housing generally offers private homes or apartments in an age-qualified community. Shared amenities and social activities vary by property. Residents manage their daily routines and arrange any personal care they need. When comparing housing options, ask whether rent covers utilities, parking, and amenities, and what the lease says about guests or additional occupants. Affinity at LafayettePhone: 303-665-2078 Affinity at Lafayette is at 860 W Baseline Road. Its website describes a 55+ community with a fitness center, pool, and resident-led clubs and activities. Call to ask about available floor plans and tour the spaces you would use. If you like to swim or join a craft group, ask when those spaces are open and how residents get involved. What to Ask About the LeaseRequest a written breakdown of rent and any recurring or one-time charges. Ask about parking, pets, storage, and lease length. If you expect to use a mobility aid or have a frequent visitor, check the route from parking to the apartment and ask how building access works. Why This Matters in LafayetteBefore deciding on an apartment along West Baseline Road, try your usual trip to the grocery store, pharmacy, or Lafayette Senior Center. A short drive today may matter less than whether the trip would still work if you drove less often later. The citys Older Adult Resources page is a starting point for finding community programs.  How to Get Started1. Decide What You Want the Move to Make EasierList the tasks you want to spend less time on and the activities you want to keep. Use those priorities to decide which apartment features and amenities are worth paying for.2. Compare the Total Cost and Tour an Available UnitCall 303-665-2078 and ask for a current quote. Tour the specific layout youre considering and check everyday details, such as where youd collect mail and how far youd carry groceries. Related Seniors Blue Book CategoriesIndependent Living Senior Move Management Transportation

Assisted Living in Lafayette, CO

An older adult may still enjoy their own space even when meals, bathing, or getting ready in the morning take more effort. When visiting an assisted living community, picture how an ordinary day would go. That can tell you whether the help on offer fits the way you want to live. What Is Assisted Living?Assisted living combines a place to live with regular help for daily activities. Depending on the residence and care plan, support can include bathing, dressing, medication management, dining, and housekeeping. It may suit someone who wants their own living space and would benefit from having help nearby. Waneka Park Assisted LivingPhone: 720-410-3889 Waneka Park is at 225 Waneka Parkway in Lafayette. Its brochure describes individualized care plans, staff available around the clock with nurse oversight, an emergency response system, and bathing assistance. Ask how the team would handle a specific routine, such as an evening shower or help getting ready for an early appointment. Meals, Outings, and Short StaysWaneka Park describes three daily meals, activities, outings, and scheduled local transportation to medical appointments. Its brochure also describes respite stays. Ask whether a short stay is currently available if you need temporary support and confirm what is included before booking.  Why This Matters in LafayetteIf staying close to friends or keeping a regular visit to the Lafayette Senior Center matters, bring those details on the tour. Ask which outings you can continue, how rides are arranged, and what a weekday visit would look like for family.  How to Get Started1. Bring Examples from a Typical DayWrite down the tasks you handle yourself and the ones youd like help with. Include weekends and overnight needs if they affect the decision.2. Tour and Request a Written EstimateCall 720-410-3889. Ask to see an available room, try the route to the dining area, and request a written estimate showing what the monthly rate includes and which services cost extra. Related Seniors Blue Book CategoriesIndependent Living Non-Medical Home Care Respite Care

Signs Families Should Notice

It may be time to consider assisted living when an older adult can no longer handle certain daily tasks safely or consistently, even with occasional help from family. The decision is rarely based on age alone. What matters is whether support with personal care, medications, meals, or supervision would make everyday life more manageable while preserving as much independence as possible.   Which Changes Suggest More Support Is Needed? One difficult day does not automatically mean a move is necessary. Patterns, however, deserve attention. Repeated trouble getting dressed, skipping showers because of fall concerns, forgetting medications, or struggling to prepare meals can all suggest that the current arrangement needs to change. Families should also watch for a growing need for reassurance or assistance at night. Someone may be physically capable of many tasks but feel unsafe living alone. Another person may be comfortable at home yet need so much hands-on help that relatives cannot provide it consistently.   How Is Assisted Living Different From Other Options? In-home care brings assistance into a persons current home. It can be appropriate when the home remains workable and needed support can be scheduled reliably. Assisted living adds a residential setting with staff availability, shared meals, activities, and help with everyday personal needs. Independent living usually focuses on housing, convenience, and community activities for people who can largely manage personal care themselves. Skilled nursing, by contrast, is intended for people who require a higher level of clinical nursing or rehabilitation services. Assisted living does not replace hospital treatment, and a community must evaluate whether it can meet a prospective residents specific needs.   Does Needing Help Mean Losing Independence? Not necessarily. Accepting assistance with a few difficult tasks can leave more energy for the things a person enjoys. Independence can mean choosing when to socialize, deciding how to spend the afternoon, maintaining family relationships, and being included in care decisions. The amount and type of help should be matched to actual needs rather than based on assumptions about age. At Waneka Park Assisted Living Residence in Lafayette, Colorado, the stated approach emphasizes individualized care plans, dignity, privacy, and help with daily activities. The residence lists assistance with bathing and dressing, medication management or oversight, and 24-hour wellness monitoring. These are useful topics for a family discussion, but the care team should confirm whether it can accommodate the persons particular circumstances.   What If a Parent Resists the Conversation? Start with observations rather than a conclusion. I noticed the stairs are harder lately is more productive than You cannot live alone anymore. Ask which tasks feel frustrating and what the person would change if help were readily available. When possible, involve the older adult in selecting communities and touring them. Avoid treating the first visit as a commitment to move. It can simply be a chance to learn how care is delivered, what residents do during the day, and what the costs might be. Families can then compare those answers with the amount of help available at home.   What Questions Help Families Make the Decision? Which activities of daily living now require regular assistance? Are medication routines reliable, and who currently checks them? Is the person eating regularly and moving around the home safely? Can family caregivers sustain the current schedule without gaps? Would a residence with staff available around the clock address the main concerns? What matters most to the older adult: privacy, activities, location, or familiar routines? A primary care clinician can help families understand whether changes are related to a treatable condition and whether additional medical evaluation is needed. If memory loss, falls, or new confusion are involved, those concerns should be assessed rather than assumed to be an inevitable part of aging.   What Should You Look for During a Tour? Ask a community to walk through a realistic day for someone with your family members needs. Explore staffing and overnight response, medication procedures, care-plan updates, meals, visitor policies, activities, and potential added charges. Notice whether explanations are clear and whether the prospective resident feels heard. Waneka Park lists an enclosed courtyard, dining services, planned activities, scheduled transportation, and an onsite nurse among its community features. Those details may help families determine whether the setting supports both daily care and personal interests. Confirm all current terms and service availability during your visit.   A Practical Next Step for Lafayette Families Make a brief inventory of what is going well at home and what is no longer working. Then speak with communities about the needs that are most likely to change. A thoughtful decision considers safety, preferences, care capabilities, and family involvement together. Families exploring assisted living can contact Waneka Park Assisted Living Residence in Lafayette at (303) 666-0691 or visit https://wanekapark.com/ to arrange a visit and discuss individualized care options.