Never too Late to Date: Senior Couples Share Their Top Dating Advice and Tips for Older Adults

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Five Star- FL

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Aug 26, 2023

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Florida - Southwest

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Some things never change as we get older. Take dating, for instance. Whether it was asking your crush to the homecoming dance in high school or inviting a new neighbor to dinner as an older adult, igniting that romantic spark is intimidating, no matter your age. It can also feel later in life like dating is a young person’s game and you’re past the point of starting a new relationship.

The truth is romance doesn’t have an age limit. Just ask these four couples who met as seniors—Henry and Joyce, Mary and Dick, Mary and Tom, and Jodi and Myrna—who found joy, love and a new beginning with their partners. There’s no better time than the present to tell that special someone in your life how much they mean to you, and maybe start a new romantic adventure of your own. That’s why we asked our featured senior couples for their best senior dating advice. Here you’ll find their four top senior dating tips to remember that can help you take that first step and build a loving bond that endures.

Senior Dating Tip #1: Join in activities

Few things are as key to forming a romantic connection as being in the right place, at the right time. Take it from Henry, 86, and Joyce, 85, residents of The Forum at the Woodlands, who met on the bus on the way to go walking at the mall. The pair struck up a conversation that quickly evolved into sitting together at Woodlands concerts, dancing together every Friday and eventually moving in together. The most important thing, they said, was putting themselves out there and participating in the many activities available to them.

“It’s much easier than dating as a young person because we had activities that brought us together; we didn’t have to create something,” says Joyce. “The best thing to do is to get involved, go to the socials and be open to meeting other people.”

Senior Dating Tip #2: Open your heart to something new

Mary Lee and TomA sad truth of dating as an older adult is that many single seniors may be widows who have lost a wife/husband dear to them. When Mary Lee, 90, met Tom, 90, after he moved into Calusa Harbour, she was interested in him romantically but could see that he was still mourning his wife whom he’d recently lost. She knew the feeling all too well after losing three husbands of her own. Yet, once the two shared a hamburger, started attending church together and shared a first kiss—“I was walking on clouds and bumping into everything after,” says Tom—they realized that they could care for each other in their grief while also starting a beautiful new life together.

“Most everyone has lost someone,” says Mary Lee. “You can’t try to replace somebody; you just look for someone you fall in love with. You’ll find somebody but not necessarily like someone you had.”

Senior Dating Tip #3: Maintain independence

Mary and DickBoth Mary, 85, and Dick, 80, weren’t exactly looking for a mate when they moved into The Forum at Brookside. Mary just wanted a companion to join her on morning walks. Their first walk together was on Dick’s birthday after he became a Brookside resident, and “we’ve been together ever since,” says Mary. Now, the pair are practically inseparable and when not together people often ask where the other is. Yet there’s one thing they don’t budge on: separate apartments. That’s because, both agree, one of the secrets to healthy senior relationship is letting the other have their own space and independence.

“It’s nice that we have our own villa so we can spend some time away to take care of personal tasks,” says Dick. “I’m the king of my castle and she’s the queen of her castle!”

Senior Dating Tip #4: Take a risk and enjoy every moment

Jodi and MyrnaJodi and Myrna, both 77-year-old residents of The Forum at Town Center, have shared experiences in their 25 years together many of us simply dream of. They’ve been hiking in New Zealand, taken a Niagara Falls boat tour and even lived in an RV traveling across the U.S. for 14 years. That’s because ever since Jodi, a former minister, took a chance to ask Myrna, a new congregant at her church, out to dinner, the pair have shared the same philosophy of making every moment together an adventure. Both also have an understanding that at their age, you don’t grow together to start a family, leaving more time to concentrate on each other. The first step into the unknown of senior dating is the hardest part, they say, but the “wonderful road ahead” awaits for those who take the risk.
“As seniors, we don’t know how much time we have left,” says Jodi. “Don’t waste it being unhappy not having someone in your life. We all need human companionship. If there is someone in your life you think would make a great companion, go for it!”

Finding community and companionship at Five Star

There’s certainly no shortage of stories of new couples and friends that met in a Five Star Senior Living community. Every day at one of our communities across the U.S. brings more opportunities for connection from fun and diverse activities to a stress-free, independent lifestyle that allows more time for the things—and people—that matter most. Take it from Henry and Joyce: “Life isn’t over after 90, you can live and love.” Contact one of our senior living experts or find a Five Star community near you to learn more and start your next chapter of life—and possibly love—with us.

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Oral Care, Monitored Meals, and Aspiration Pneumonia: What We Dont Know We Dont Know in Health Care:

What We Dont Know We Dont Know in Health Care: September 24, 2024 -Oral Care, Monitored Meals, and Aspiration PneumoniaProper oral care is crucial for maintaining optimal health. Keeping the mouth clean not only helps maintain the protective properties of saliva but also reduces bacteria in the mouth which can be a source of infection in aspiration pneumonia. In addition, monitoring meals and assisting with feeding for those at high risk for aspiration is also a necessity. The process of swallowing involves dozens of muscles that start in the mouth and include the pharynx, larynx, and esophagus. These muscles can become weakened with age and from various, often age-related diseases.  The aging population is especially at risk for aspiration pneumonia due to comorbidities, frailty, and conditions that can impair swallowing.  As a result, aspiration pneumonia is one of the leading causes of death from infection in individuals over the age of 65. 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I hired a companion for my father when he was in a skilled nursing facility. He was not getting his teeth brushed or flossed regularly, and I was seeing a decline in his dentition. Having this extra support provided him with much needed assistance and the care companion had the added benefit of encouraging him to eat more at every meal, something that was a bonus as he was not meeting his nutrient needs. Touching base with staff to request that oral care and meal monitoring be done can also be helpful. Having an advocate to ensure necessary care is getting done can also be very effective in the health care setting.  What is proper oral care and effective meal monitoring?  Proper oral care includes brushing the teeth for at least 1 minute after every meal. It also includes using a soft bristle brush, fluoride toothpaste, flossing daily. A final component of oral care that is often not discussed is denture care. Dentures should be cleaned at least once per day and removed at bedtime. Removing them prior to sleeping can greatly reduce the risk of pneumonia (Iinuma et al. 2014). Effective meal monitoring includes adequate supervision during mealtime for those at risk of aspiration. Such supervision includes ensuring the individual is properly positioned for a meal (head of bed as high as can be tolerated and supine position), takes small bites, eats slowly, swallows a couple times in between each bite, and intermittently takes a sip of liquid to clear the mouth of food particles. The use of straws is generally not recommended for an individual at risk for aspiration as it propels the food to the back of the throat and hence can increase risk. I recall when I was working as a Registered Nurse (RN) in acute care that I was constantly removing straws from the bedside of at risk individuals and often reminding them to eat slowly and swallow at least twice between each bite to ensure food clearance. Individuals at risk for aspiration often require a modified texture diet as it can further prevent the aspiration of food and liquids.   This is a brief summary of the attention to detail needed in addressing oral hygiene and meal monitoring amongst the aging population. Both measures can play a significant role in reducing aspiration pneumonia.  If you would like more information on understanding proper oral care or any other questions that you may have regarding aging life care, please feel free to reach out to me.    Sources:1.      Sjogren P, Nilsson E, Forsell M, Johansson O, Hoogstraate J. 2008. A systematic review of the preventive effect of oral hygiene on pneumonia and respiratory tract infection in elderly people in hospitals and nursing homes: effect estimates and methodological quality of randomized controlled trials. J Am Geriatr Soc. 56:21242130. 2.      Iinuma T, Arai Y, Abe Y, Takayama M, Fukumoto M, Fukui Y, et al. 2014. Denture wearing during sleep doubles the risk of pneumonia in the very elderly. J Dent Res. doi: 10.1177/0022034514552493 3.      F Muller, 2015. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4541086/#