Never too Late to Date: Senior Couples Share Their Top Dating Advice and Tips for Older Adults

As an Authorized Validation Organization, Meridian Senior Living finds value in sharing with caregivers beneficial articles from the Validation Training InstitutePublished on April 16, 2024 by The Validation Training InstituteAs a member of the Validation Training Institute (VTI) Board, a mindfulness teacher, and an individual engaged in both the physical and mental aspects of aging, I find myself standing at the intersection of profound personal and professional insights. The journey of aging is not just a physical one characterized by the inevitable changes in stamina, muscle mass, and the appearance of wrinkles. At 52, these signs of aging are tangible reminders of the bodys natural progression. However, there is another aspect of aging that often lurks in the background, unnoticed until it forcefully demands attentioncognitive decline.My connection to cognitive decline is both distant and intimate. While my own thoughts rarely wander to fears of disorientation or loss of mental acuity, the shadow of Alzheimers disease looms large in my family history. My mothers aunts extreme cognitive decline serves as a stark reminder of the potential futures many of us may face. My mothers fear of following in her aunts footsteps is a constant presence in her life, yet I find myself ponderingwhat if I do experience significant cognitive decline myself? Which parts of my consciousness will fade, becoming inaccessible to both me and those around me? How would I wish to be treated by my caregivers in such a scenario?It is here that the Validation Method, developed by Naomi Feil, becomes not just a professional tool but a beacon of hope. Validation is a way of communicating with and understanding individuals experiencing cognitive decline. It emphasizes empathy, respect, and the dignity of the person, regardless of their cognitive state. This approach aligns closely with my values as a mindfulness teacher and my understanding of the human consciousness as explored in Jack Kornfields The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology.Kornfields exploration of consciousness in Buddhist psychology offers profound insights into the nature of our minds and beings. Consciousness, as described, is clear, timeless, and untouched by the transient thoughts and attachments that flit through our minds. This understanding underscores the importance of touch and eye contact, especially when speech and hearing may no longer serve as reliable bridges of connection. In the context of cognitive decline, these forms of non-verbal communication resonate with the core of our being, reaching the part of us that remains aware and responsive.The essence of mindfulnessbeing fully present and compassionate with what isparallels the Validation Methods approach. Both practices honor the individuals experience and the fundamental integrity of their consciousness. As a mindfulness teacher, my journey into Buddhist psychology deepens my appreciation for the nuanced ways in which we can connect with and support individuals experiencing cognitive decline. It reminds me that beneath the challenges of communication and memory, there exists a profound human awareness deserving of dignity and love.In contemplating my own aging and potential future with cognitive decline, I am comforted by the knowledge and practice of Validation and mindfulness. These approaches not only provide a framework for compassionate caregiving but also remind us of the resilience and depth of the human spirit. They teach us that even as certain faculties may diminish, the essence of who we area consciousness that is clear, expansive, and fundamentally unblemishedremains.Incorporating the Validation Method with the insights of Buddhist psychology, we can create a caregiving environment that respects and honors the fullness of the individual. As we navigate the complexities of aging, both as caregivers and as individuals facing our own journeys, let us do so with the wisdom, compassion, and mindfulness that every person deserves.Through the exploration of these interconnected paths, we are invited to view aging and cognitive decline not as fearsome unknowns but as opportunities for deepening our practice of empathy and understanding. As we look forward to the years ahead, may we embrace the aging process with grace, supporting ourselves and others with the dignity and respect inherent in the Validation Method and the teachings of mindfulness and Buddhist psychology.

Myth #1: Avoid carbs if you want to lose weight.Fact: Not all carbs are created equal. Carbs give us energy and can actually help us lose weight when choosing high-fiber complex carbohydrates.Our bodies thrive on carbs for energy. Without enough carbs in your diet, you could experience low energy, weakness, fatigue, nausea, dizziness, and even depression. It is recommended by the Dietary Guidelines for Americans that we get about 45-65% of our daily calories from foods with carbohydrates. When we eat too little carbohydrates, we feel tired and do not feel our best mentally or physically. Of course, limiting certain carbohydrates such as sweet treats, potato chips, and soda pop has health benefits and can lead to weight loss. This is because you are cutting out extra calories from added sugars and fats that those foods and drinks contain.Your goal should be to eat more complex carbohydrates. These carbs have vitamins, minerals, and fiber, and they take longer to digest. Examples of these include grains, beans, fruits, and vegetables (even potatoes!) Eating these foods will leave you feeling more full thanks to their high fiber content. Plus adding these types of carbs to your diet can cut down on cravings for sweets. Eating these complex carbs with proteins and non-starchy vegetables will give you a well-balanced meal, and you will feel energized to take on your day. This could look like: Chicken breast, broccoli, and a grain like brown rice or a sweet potato for dinner, or oatmeal with a veggie egg scramble for breakfast. And dont worry you do not need to cut out bread or pasta. You can increase fiber and protein in these foods by choosing whole-grain versions or gluten-free pasta made from chickpeas.Myth #2: Carbs cause weight gain.Fact: One of the factors that causes weight gain is eating more calories than you burn in a day. Weight gain is not due to carbs themselves but from the over-consumption of any type of food. Simple carbs like cakes, cookies, ice cream, soda, chips, etc., have added sugars that are naturally higher in calories. Focus on consuming less of these simple carbs and more of the complex carbs such as whole foods like fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. These foods contain fiber, vitamins, and minerals to keep us fuller longer and maintain a healthy weight.Myth #3: Avoid all white foods, especially as a diabetic.Fact: While some white foods such as white rice and white flour are missing healthful nutrients and fiber thats found in foods like whole grain bread or whole grain flour, many white foods are high in nutrients. Cauliflower, onions, mushrooms, and garlic are great examples of this. Potatoes and bananas, specifically, get a bad reputation; however, they both contain potassium which is vital for maintaining a healthy heart and blood pressure, and they provide other beneficial vitamins, minerals, and fiber which is important for brain health, metabolism, and immune function. It is true that these foods will raise blood sugars at a quicker rate due to their high carbohydrate content, but that does not mean you cannot enjoy them. Just remember to monitor your portion sizes and eat your carbs with healthy proteins and fats for a balanced meal that will help balance your blood sugar.Myth #4: Fruit is bad because it is high in carbs.Fact: Fruit contains sugar, which is a type of carb. But fruit is also full of healthful nutrients (vitamins, minerals, fiber). Fruit contains a natural sugar called fructose, which is recommended over processed sugars like you would find in candy. Cutting fruit out of your diet will cause you to miss out on a lot of healthy nutrients. When buying canned or frozen fruit, be sure the labels say no added sugars. When drinking fruit juice, it is best to stick to 100% fruit juice at a serving size of about 4 oz, as it lacks fiber and may contain added sugars, which we want to limit in our diet. 4 oz equals about the size of your cupped palm or about the size of a small portable hand sanitizer bottle.ArchWell Health members have the opportunity to discuss nutrition concerns or questions at every appointment. Your primary care provider can help you better understand how carbs fit into your overall nutrition plan.The article provides information designed to complement your personal health management. It does not provide medical advice and not meant to replace professional medical advice. Linking to other websites does not imply any endorsement of the material on such websites.

Maybe you were once a talented quilter, or you couldnt wait for your weekly bridge night. Or perhaps youve always wanted to learn how to kayak or paint. But between busy work schedules, family obligations or health issues, life got in the way of your once beloved hobbies and dreams of new ones.The good news is that empty nests and retirement mean more time to enjoy creative, physical or social interests. And the better news is that hobbies arent just a fun way to pass the time; they matter for lifelong wellness and mental health.Here are four reasons why hobbies are good for you.1. Hobbies support brain health.Cognitive decline, which includes sudden or worsening memory loss or confusion, is a fact of life. Two out of three Americans will experience some level of impairment in their thinking abilities around the age of 70. Hobbies can slow that progression and boost brain health.By engaging in a wide range of daily activities, youll get even more of a brain boost, research says. For example, start the morning by going on a walk with friends, then move on to an afternoon painting class andfinish with an evening spent putting together a jigsaw puzzle. This provides a daily workout for the hippocampus, the part of the brain that plays an important role in creating and remembering memories.2. Hobbies keep us physically healthy.Many hobbies, of course, keep us strong and agile. And making time for golf, pickle ball or swimming leads to all kinds of benefits beyond lowering the risk of weight gain, heart disease and type 2 diabetes.Even moderate physical activities like walking, strength training or yoga can:improve balance and prevent fallsminimize the pain of arthritisenhance the immune system to prevent infections from getting in your lungs3. Hobbies reduce loneliness.In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General called loneliness and isolation an epidemic, and those ages 55 and up have the highest rates of social isolation. Participating in hobbies whether walking with a neighborhood group or taking part in book clubs, fitness classes or card games ensures youre not just getting out and about, but also engaging with other people.And hobbies help reduce loneliness in another way too, even when you dont always have a strong social network available. You just need to reach a state of flow, when you're so focused on an activity that you dont realize how much time has passed. Researchers have found that when people achieve that state, they can feel less alone.4. Hobbies boost mental health.Finally, add up all the benefits of hobbies for older adults slower cognitive decline, healthier bodies and reduced loneliness and its no surprise that a fourth benefit is the mental health perks of getting involved in favorite pastimes. When people are actively engaged in hobbies they enjoy, they have fewer depressive symptoms, higher levels of self-reported health and improved life satisfaction, research shows.How to launch a hobbyIf you took a break from a longtime hobby or are ready to start a new one, it might take a little time to get fully up to speed. Take it slow.Be consistent and give yourself some grace. Dont expect to paint a prize-winning still life after 25 years away from the canvas or swim 10 laps after a lifetime out of the pool. Just set a goal to make steady progress as you introduce or reintroduce yourself to activities.And dont go at it alone, meet up with others who love the same thing. Local in-person groups and online forums can provide the encouragement you need to keep going as youre just starting out.Of course, before you get back into an old hobby or try something new, especially physical activities, check in with your doctor. Sometimes, previous hobbies  like running or biking might need to be replaced with new ones like walking or yoga for health reasons. A friendly, caring ArchWell Health doctor can guide you.