Should My Loved One Needing Care Live With Me?

Author

Elder Law of Omaha

Posted on

Jan 20, 2022

Book/Edition

Nebraska - Eastern Region

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Aging in place continues to increase in popularity, but what to do when you notice an older loved one is having trouble living safely at home is an issue many of us face. Troublesome signs such as a dirty home in poor repair, unpaid bills, piles of mail, and food out of date or spoiled in the kitchen, poor personal hygiene, and trouble managing medications are all warning signs that your senior is struggling. When visiting, you may notice a loss of weight, disoriented behavior, or lonely and depressive behaviors. When these signs reveal themselves to you, it is time for your older relative to move in with you or into some senior living community where the situation is safer.
Even before the pandemic, polls began showing a shift to the living trend of a century ago, when most seniors lived with their adult children in a multi-generational house. The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) reports that older parents are moving in with their adult children and comprising a larger component of shared living than a generation ago. AARP states, Today, 14 percent of adults living in someone elses household are a parent of the household head, up from 7 percent in 1995. And with many Americans now working from home, keeping a watchful eye over a parent is easier than ever.
If you are considering moving your loved one into your home, there are several things to think about before making a move. For example, you might think the idea is fantastic, but how will it affect other current household members, spouses, or children? Does everyone get along, or will you be importing conflict? Are your lifestyles compatible regarding quiet hours, entertaining guests? Is smoking a habit of someones that needs consideration? Is your home big enough, or will someone have to give up their room? Is your home suitable for the needs of your loved one? Can they be housed on a single floor without having to use stairs? Can your parent bring their familiar belongings and furniture with them?

Perhaps it is feasible to create a mother-in-law apartment with a separate entrance or invest in a backyard cottage, the so-called granny pod. If they reside in your active home, what modifications can you make to create a safer environment? Things like night lights, the removal of area rugs, or adding grab bars in the shower or an additional handrail on the stairs can make big safety differences.
Who will be tasked to help your parent? The fact that your parent now lives with you should not mean you are at their service all of the time. Many well-meaning adult children make this mistake. At the start of living together, a parent is usually fairly self-sufficient. Still, in time they will require more, and if you do not begin your living agreement employing outside help, you will fall into a trap where your time is no longer your own. Share tasks with other family members and make them do their part. Find local senior support services and check out professional in-home care to ensure your loved one becomes accustomed to others providing support to them.
If not in your home, where will your loved one go? Living in a family multi-generational home isnt for everyone. Your parent might prefer shared-living, that is, adults living under the same roof but not romantically involved, a sort of roommate experience. Or perhaps a retirement community with defined living stages, from independent to assisted, and full-time care. Many families find living together can save money but not necessarily sanity and look to house their parents out of direct living contact. Talk it out as a family. Even if the conversation is difficult to have, it is better than responding to a catastrophic fall or illness, forcing a change of housing for your parent.
Find out how your aging loved one feels about the next step when they will no longer be able to live alone. Your parents thoughts may surprise you. It can help to speak with an elder attorney to address issues that invariably present themselves. If your parent sells their home, how will they handle the profit? Should you want a monthly living expense contribution? Can you claim your parent as a dependent on your tax return? Your parent may no longer have to pay bills but may have other assets and policies to manage; who will handle asset management and premium payments? Goodwill goes a long way to a successful living arrangement but so does preparedness. Having pre-set a structure to address issues will allow you to focus on enjoying your time with your loved one. If you have questions or would like to discuss your personal situation, please dont hesitate to reach out.

To discuss your estate planning and long-term care Medicaid planning options, call (402) 614-6400 today to schedule your free consultation with one of our experienced attorneys. Visit our website at www.ElderLawOmaha.com.

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Tips On Staying Independent as a Senior

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Chronic Back Pain in Seniors: 5 Easy Treatments

Older adults can experience pain related to many different conditions. Back pain, in particular, has a variety of possible causes, though the most common causes of chronic back pain in seniors are osteoarthritis and spinal stenosis. People over the age of 60 are more likely to experience back pain related to the degeneration of the joints in the spine. The good news is that there are also a variety of simple solutions that may help ease this pain.Sometimes the simplest answer is the best, and in some cases, one little change can make all the difference. For others, a few adjustments to their habits or lifestyle can ease the discomfort.There are other options besides surgery and prescription drugs.Causes of OsteoarthritisArthritis is a general term that means the swelling of a joint. Osteoarthritis occurs when the cartilage at the joint wears down, leaving the bones without any protection against each other; it is the most common type of arthritis. It can occur at any joint in the body, though it is common in the spine.When this happens, or if the cartilage is chipped or damaged on one side, the injured cartilage or the neighboring bone rub against the bone, causing further injury. This, along with the accompanying joint inflammation and muscle spasm, cause back pain.Causes of Spinal StenosisThis is a narrowing of the bone channel occupied by the spinal cord and nerves, which puts pressure on the nerves and can result in tingling, numbness, or pain. Spinal stenosis is related to osteoarthritis and degeneration of the spine and could show up in the fifth decade of life and continue through the years.When the lower back develops lumbar stenosis, the spinal nerve roots in the low back become compressed and produce symptoms of sciaticatingling, weakness, or numbness that radiates from the low back and into the buttocks and legs. This often gets worse with activity, which leads people to avoid movement and exercise.Unfortunately, a sedentary lifestyle leads to additional health issues.Symptoms of Chronic Back Pain in SeniorsSymptoms of osteoarthritis may include: Pain that is most pronounced in the mornings and evenings. Pain that interrupts sleep. Pain after activity. Tender when pressed against. Stiffness and loss of flexibility in the back (being unable to twist or bend comfortably at the waist).Spinal stenosis often features slightly different symptoms: Leg and lower back pain after even a short walk. Lower back pain that is quickly relieved by sitting down. Weakness, numbness, and tingling that moves from the low back into the buttocks and legs (sciatica).In both cases, symptoms ranging from mild to severe may start slowly and increase over time.Simple, Natural Treatments for Chronic Back Pain in Seniors1. New, High-Quality Mattresses:All mattresses are not created equal! A high-quality mattress can offer huge relief for those experiencing back pain since old, worn-out mattresses do little to support the back or neck.2. Better Diet:Healthy fats (flaxseed oil, avocado oil, olive oil, etc), fruits, vegetables, nuts, ginger, garlic, oatmeal, and lean protein sources all help reduce inflammation. Meanwhile, dairy, pastries, red meat, alcohol, caffeine, sugar, refined grains, and any heavily processed foods are best to avoid because they increase inflammation in muscles and joints.3. Yoga:Many older adults have found the practice of yoga to work in their favor, particularly by practicing restorative yoga, a deeply relaxing approach to the traditional practice. Depending upon your range of motion and fitness level, you might also choose a gentle hatha yoga or chair yoga class. Studies have shown positive outcomes like decreased pain, increased the range of motion and a greater sense of well-being for people with back pain. John Hopkins offers more tips for doing yoga with arthritis.4. Acupuncture:This is a gentle, alternative medicine approach to help ease and treat the aches and pains in aging bodies. Instead of treating symptoms, acupuncture helps treat the pain source naturally, without the use of drugs.5. Massage Therapy:Pills can cause many side effects and long-term health problems when taken too frequently. Massage therapy improves circulation and reduces inflammation and swelling; studies have shown it to be effective in reducing chronic back pain, which may reduce a patients need for pain pills.Treating chronic back pain in the elderly doesnt always mean resorting to prescribed anti-inflammatory drugs. There are all-natural alternatives that your caregiver may be able to help you try. Contact us today to learn more about in-home senior care.