The Death Clock

For decades researchers have tried to figure out on a global scale why more people die in January than any other month of the year?

Known by statisticians as “excess deaths” it appears to have nothing to do with weather. The spike in deaths is as true in tropical areas as it is in the snow shoveling northern parts of the United States. This also eliminates the theory that staying inside because of the cold weather spreads more germs and results in a higher January death rate. They also eliminated the connection on a socio-economic basis as the reaper makes no distinction between affluence and poverty when it comes to the end of life. The final myth is that the bump in deaths is due to people being sent home from the hospital too early just for the sake of the holidays.

The data shows that hospitals are actually a dangerous place and you are more likely to die there then at home. Since it is so confusing I went to some online apps that offer to predict your day of death. I asked three of them to consider my chances: The Death Clock, Lifespan Calculator, and Fateful Day, to give me their best shot. Death Clock.com asked my gender, if I smoked, my outlook on life and how many alcoholic drinks I had each week. It reported that Wednesday, July 2, 2031 will be my last day on earth and a countdown clock was clicking away toward a ripe age of 88. Lifespan Calculator.com, provided by an insurance company, resulted in an age rather than a date. Turns out I will live to the age of 91. But wait there’s more. I could pick up two more years by dropping 15 pounds or getting 4 inches taller. And finally, I turned to FatefulDay.com. It was fairly easy and after entering all my information, it returned with this ominous message: “You have 0 years left to live.” The site predicted I died in 2016, which was oddly enough the year of my heart attack. Life is a mystery even in death. So live, laugh and love!

Editor’s Note: This article was submitted by Barry Kolanowski. Barry is the Executive Director of Senior Services of Will County and may be reached at 815-723-9713 or by email at bkolanowski@agingspecialists.org.