Tips for Having the Senior Living Conversation with Your Parents

Posted on

Apr 26, 2023

Book/Edition

Nebraska - Eastern Region

It’s a moment many family caregivers eventually face having the conversation with parents about moving to assisted living or memory care. It can be difficult to know how to approach the senior living conversation, what to say, and how to be sure your Mom or Dad knows you are coming from a place of love and care.

At Heritage Communities, we are here to listen, support, encourage, and provide information. To begin, we’ve put together some suggestions that might help you with the senior living conversation.

Understanding their emotions is essential

While a move to senior living might be the most practical choice, it’s also an emotional one. As you think about how you will bring up the subject with your loved one, consider some of the common fears that many seniors have about growing older, such as:

  • Loss of independence
  • Failing health, particularly memory
  • Running out of money
  • Having to leave their home
  • Losing loved ones
  • Having to depend on others
  • Not being able to drive
  • Being isolated and lonely
  • Falling or becoming incapacitated

Take these fears to heart as your family discusses the future together. Showing empathy and patience will provide comfort that you’re on their side, can strengthen your relationship, and even help them warm up to the idea of moving.

Having the senior living conversation: what to do

Spend some time thinking in advance about what you want to accomplish in the talk. Understand that it may take several conversations over time; don’t try to cover everything in one session. Here are some senior living conversation “Do’s”:

  • Make a list. Write down talking points about why it is time to consider senior living to help guide the discussion and to help you remember important questions. For example, have you noticed red flags, such as your parent is isolating or withdrawing, they don’t seem to be eating regularly, they may be wandering or becoming lost, there are signs of a fender bender or personal injury (such as bruises from a fall), their home is messy, and so on. If you bring up specifics, do it in the context of your concern for their health and safety, asking them if they could use a helping hand with daily life.
  • Pick a good time. Have the senior living conversation when your loved one is free of distractions or pending appointments so you are not rushed. Be sure they are rested, and not hungry or anxious. You could initially bring up the subject casually, such as on a walk, sitting on a park bench, after a happy family event, or other comfortable setting.
  • Have back-up. Be sure to include other family members when appropriate. You might want to approach your Mom or Dad first, and then bring in another sibling or relative at the next conversation. Just be sure to keep it casual and open, so your parents do not feel pressured in any way.

It’s also a good idea to consult with a professional such as their physician, a case manager, social worker, lawyer, financial advisor or even a therapist or spiritual leader. Having input from a neutral party, particularly one your loved one trusts and respects, can go a long way in a senior living conversation.

  •  Keep it positive. Yes, it’s a change, but be sure to mention what lies on the other side of the decision: a worry-free lifestyle where they can enjoy a range of amenities and services without having to clean, cook, or take care of a home. Reinforce how much you want to give back to them, in terms of safety and wellbeing, and how knowing they were benefiting from 24-hour support would free all of you to enjoy your relationship (as a son or daughter) more than ever.

If you know of someone else who recently went through the experience of a parent successfully moving into senior living, you might bring that up, especially if it’s someone they know. Describe how they are enjoying life more than ever without worries of home maintenance or isolation.

What NOT to do in the senior living conversation:

  • Do not dictate a plan. You want to have an ongoing, honest discussion that includes their thoughts and opinions. Share information with them, include them when you are researching online if it is feasible, and let them accompany you on tours of potential senior living communities.
  • Do not “take over” and become the parent. It’s very important for your Mom or Dad to feel respected and heard. Don’t speak to them in a tone that suggests they are giving up control. Reassure them you are their son or daughter, and you want to be sure they are safe, well, and happy.
  • Do not feed the fear. It’s important to guide the conversation around your concerns, but in a way that you’re collaborating together to help your loved one live their best life, not scaring them into a move.

Senior living can help them live better

All Heritage Communities share a single mission: to create the senior living experience that each person wants and deserves, and to help them remain as independent as possible for as long as possible.

Heritage Communities throughout the Midwest and Southwest offer vibrant Independent Living, with Assisted Living, and Memory Care. We invite you to learn more please call us at 712-221-2448.

Other Articles You May Like

How Elderly Care Makes Daily Living Comfortable

Seniors who might need assistance with their activities of daily living (ADLs) are benefited greatly by staying at assisted living facilities or having trusted caregivers. ADLs cover the essential tasks necessary for maintaining a comfortable and healthy daily life. These include the following:BathingBathing helps in maintaining personal hygiene and also improves ones sense of well-being in general. Seniors who may have mobility issues or require assistance due to medical conditions can benefit significantly from the support offered by our senior care in Minnesota. With our assistance, they will feel fresh every day and prevent infections or skin problems.DressingAnother daily activity that seniors frequently require assistance with is dressing. People with physical difficulties or cognitive problems benefit from having trusted caregivers. With this help, seniors may express their unique personalities via their wardrobe choices while preserving their sense of self-worth and sense of fashion.EatingMaintaining proper nutrition is essential for the health and well-being of seniors. Some elderly may require assistance with eating due to difficulties with swallowing or using utensils. At our assisted living facility in Burnsville, Minnesota, we ensure that residents receive balanced and nutritious meals.These elderly care services can be provided at the seniors home or in assisted living facilities. The aim should be providing comfort and support for seniors. At our home care, we make sure that the assistance we provide addresses the needs of our residents.At Cardenas Friendship Homes, we assist our residents with their activities of daily living while still encouraging their independence. Our residents enjoy happy lives in a secure and comfortable setting with our waivered care services.  Call us today at 612-616-7105

Benefits of Customized Living in Elderly Care Homes

Customized living in elderly care homes offers a personalized approach to senior care, tailoring services to meet the unique needs and preferences of each resident. As a provider of senior care in Minnesota, we have enlisted the benefits of embracing customized living in these compassionate environments:Tailored Care PlansCustomized living allows for individualized care plans that take into account the specific health, mobility, and cognitive needs of each resident. This personalized approach ensures that seniors receive the right level of assistance and support, promoting their overall well-being.Enhanced Quality of LifeBy tailoring services to residents preferences, elderly care homes create an environment that feels like home. Whether its choosing, daily activities, meal preferences, or the level of social engagement, customized living empowers seniors to maintain a sense of independence, fostering a higher quality of life.Flexibility and AdaptabilityAs the needs of seniors evolve, so too can their care plans. Customized living, including waivered care services, allows flexibility in adjusting services and support levels. This adaptability ensures that residents receive the appropriate care as their health conditions or preferences change over time.Holistic WellnessBeyond addressing physical health, customized living considers the holistic wellness of residents, including their emotional, social, and mental well-being. By crafting leisure activities, social interactions, and wellness programs to individual preferences, elderly care homes contribute to a more comprehensive and fulfilling lifestyle for seniors.If you are seeking an assisted living facility in Burnsville, Minnesota, that offers customized living, Cardenas Friendship Homes is here for you! Contact us to learn more about the services we offer!  Call us today at 612-616-7105.

Are You Eligible for Elderly Waiver Care Homes?

Elderly waiver care homes provide a valuable resource for seniors seeking personalized and supportive living arrangements. Understanding the eligibility criteria for these homes is crucial for individuals and their families navigating the complexities of senior care in Minnesota.    To qualify for elderly waiver care homes, individuals typically need to meet specific age requirements, with the most common threshold being 65 years or older. This age criterion ensures that these homes cater specifically to the needs of seniors who may benefit from additional assistance and a community of peers in a residential setting. In addition to age, many elderly waiver care homes consider the functional abilities of potential residents. Individuals who require assistance with activities of daily living, such as bathing, dressing, or meal preparation, are often eligible. The goal is to provide a supportive environment that enhances the quality of life for seniors who may face challenges in maintaining independence due to physical or cognitive limitations.  Financial eligibility is another crucial aspect. Elderly waiver care homes often accommodate individuals with limited financial resources, and some may accept Medicaid or other state-funded programs. This financial inclusivity ensures seniors from diverse economic backgrounds can access the necessary care and services.   Furthermore, elderly waiver care homes may consider individuals with specific medical conditions or disabilities that warrant specialized care. This criterion aims to create a community where residents with similar health needs can receive tailored waivered care services and assistance from trained caregivers.  Experience compassionate care tailored to your unique needs at Cardenas Friendship Homes. Our state-of-the-art assisted living facility in Burnsville, Minnesota, awaits, providing personalized support for a fulfilling and comfortable lifestyle.  Contact us today at 612-616-7105.  DISCLAIMER  Blogs, content and other media uploaded online are for informational purposes only. Contents on this website should not be considered medical advice. Readers are strongly encouraged to visit their physician for health-related issues.

Local Services By This Author

OnCare Hospice

Hospice 16934 Frances Street, Omaha, Nebraska, 68130

OnCare Home Health

Home Health 16934 Frances Street, Omaha, Nebraska, 68130

OnCare Home Health & Hospice Offers Comprehensive Home Health CareOnCare Home Health & Hospice delivers quality health care services in the place you want to be home.