WHAT IS GRIEF?

Losing a loved one is a deeply emotional and challenging experience, and sometimes, it's not easy to find the right words to express sympathy when the loss occurs. If you didn't offer your condolences at the time, you may wonder if it's too late to do so now. In this guide, we'll explore the importance of expressing sympathy, even if some time has passed, and offer guidance on how to approach this sensitive situation.1. It's Never Too Late for SympathyGrief is a long and evolving journey. While immediate condolences are appreciated, sympathy can be meaningful and comforting at any stage of the grieving process. It's never too late to reach out and offer your support.2. Acknowledge Your DelayIf you feel uncomfortable about the time that has passed, it's perfectly acceptable to acknowledge it in your message. A simple phrase like, "I'm sorry I didn't reach out sooner," can convey your genuine intentions.3. Choose a Thoughtful MediumConsider how you want to express your sympathy. A handwritten letter, an email, a heartfelt message, or even a phone call can all be appropriate ways to offer your condolences.4. Be Sincere and CompassionateWhen you reach out, express your sympathy with sincerity and empathy. Use kind and understanding language, and let the grieving person know that you care about their well-being.5. Keep It SimpleYou don't need to offer long explanations or profound insights. A heartfelt "I'm sorry for your loss," or "I'm thinking of you during this difficult time," can convey your sympathy effectively.6. Offer Specific HelpIf you are genuinely willing and able to assist, consider offering specific help, such as running errands, providing a meal, or simply being available to listen if they want to talk.7. Respect Their SpaceGrief can be a highly personal experience, and some individuals may not be ready to engage in conversation. Respect their boundaries and allow them to respond or not respond as they feel comfortable.8. Follow UpAfter expressing your sympathy, follow up with a message or gesture of support in the coming weeks or months. Grief can be isolating, and knowing that someone cares can make a significant difference.9. Accept Their ResponseUnderstand that the grieving person may respond in various ways. Some may appreciate your message immediately, while others may need more time to process it. Your intentions matter, even if the response is not immediate. Expressing sympathy, even after some time has passed since a loved one's death, can offer comfort and support to those who are grieving. It's a compassionate gesture that shows you care about their well-being and acknowledge their pain. Remember that grief has no set timeline, and your sympathy can be a source of solace during a challenging journey. Reach out with sincerity, offer your support, and be open to their response, respecting their pace and feelings as they navigate their grief. Your gesture of sympathy can make a meaningful difference in their healing process.

Discover compassionate ways to offer comfort and support to a friend who is navigating the challenging journey of losing a spouse.When a friend loses their spouse, it's a profoundly challenging and emotional time. As a supportive friend, you may wonder how best to help them navigate this difficult journey. In this guide, we'll provide insights on what you can do and say to be there for your grieving friend and offer comfort during their time of loss.Offer Your CondolencesExpress your sympathy with a heartfelt message, even if its as simple as "I'm so sorry for your loss." Let your friend know that you're there for them during this challenging time.Listen ActivelySometimes, the most valuable support is a listening ear. Allow your friend to share their feelings and memories, and be present without judgment or interruption.Use Empathetic LanguageUse phrases like "I can't imagine what you're going through" or "I'm here to support you in any way you need." Show empathy and understanding in your conversations.Avoid Clichs or PlatitudeWhile well-intentioned, phrases like "Everything happens for a reason" or "Time heals all wounds" may not provide the comfort you intend. Instead, offer genuine empathy and a willingness to listen.Offer Practical AssistanceGrieving individuals often appreciate practical help. Offer assistance with household chores, cooking meals, or running errands to ease their daily responsibilities.Respect Their Grief ProcessGrief is unique to each individual, and it has no set timeline. Allow your friend to grieve in their own way and avoid imposing expectations on their healing process.Remember Special DatesAnniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be particularly challenging. Reach out on these occasions to offer support and companionship.Share Fond MemoriesReminisce about the deceased spouse and share stories and memories. This can be a comforting way to reflect and celebrate their life.Encourage Self-CareGrief can take a toll on physical and emotional well-being. Encourage your friend to prioritize self-care, including proper nutrition, rest, and exercise.Offer to Accompany ThemAttend memorial services, support group meetings, or therapy sessions with your friend if they are open to it. Your presence can provide emotional support.Be Patient and AvailableGrief often comes in waves, and your friend may have moments when they need support unexpectedly. Be patient, and let them know you're available when they need you.Respect Their Need for SpaceWhile your support is valuable, also respect your friend's need for solitude and moments of privacy to process their grief.Send Thoughtful Messages or GiftsSend cards, small gifts, or thoughtful messages to remind your friend that you're thinking of them and that you care.Continue to Reach OutGrief doesn't have a set end date. Continue to check in on your friend regularly, even months after the loss, to ensure they know you're there for the long haul. Supporting a friend who has lost their spouse requires compassion, patience, and understanding. Your presence, both physically and emotionally, can provide immense comfort during their grieving process. By offering genuine empathy, active listening, practical help, and a willingness to be there through the ups and downs of grief, you can provide invaluable support to your friend as they navigate this challenging journey. Remember that your friendship is a source of solace and strength during their time of loss.

By Faith Protsman, MD, Regional Medical Director, VITAS HealthcareTwo recent studies highlight how sepsis impact often extends well beyond the acute event that led to a patients hospitalization. The studies emphasize two particular points that should inform physicians and clinicians as they consider referring these patients to specialized care: Medicare patient data gathered between 2012-2017 shows that sepsis patients face considerably poorer health outcomes following hospital discharge when compared to non-sepsis patients, including elevated risk for death and increased use of advanced healthcare services. Sepsis survivors exhibit strong indicators of persistent inflammation and immunosuppression for up to a year after hospital discharge, increasing their risk of readmission or death. Both studies indicate a significantly elevated risk of death among sepsis patients after they have been discharged and ostensibly cured. Of course, sepsis patientsparticularly those of the Medicare cohort, who are largely of advanced agerarely leave the hospital in better condition than they entered.The Yende study, in particular, shows that neuroendocrine and inflammatory responses to sepsis can continue long after the patient survives a septic episode. For patients with advanced or chronic diseasesas was the case with nearly 78% of participants in the studythese biomarkers are associated with decline.Post-sepsis Discharge: A Critical JunctureIn many cases, these individuals life expectancies upon discharge will be less than six months. This is a critical juncture: While comfort-focused hospice care could provide an ideal source of support for the eligible patient, their family, and their caregiver(s), most sepsis patients are simply sent home without even a discussion about palliative end-of-life care and its benefits.Frankly, such an oversight is a disservice to everyone involved. The sepsis patient is left with physical and/or cognitive dysfunction, often without significant options for symptom management. Their partner or family will either need to assume caregiving duties or turn to costly private services. And the physician and hospital staff will likely see the patient again following another acute event, a readmission that impacts performance scores, strains resources, and unnecessarily fills beds.By no means do I intend to lay the blame for these unfortunate circumstances on physicians. Timely hospice referrals require ongoing education about end-of-life care, and open, ongoing communication between hospice providers and referral sources.More Help: How to Talk About Hospice Care >Those of us in hospice are working hard to bridge the gap, but even as our healthcare system transitions to a value-based model, the mentality of fee-for-service still permeates our nations acute-care facilities, and many hospitalists see a discharge home as a success.Hospice: A New Way Of Judging SuccessIn hospice, we judge our successes on the patients quality of life and the fulfillment of their goals and wishes near lifes end. Usually, that means going home with 24/7 support from an interdisciplinary hospice team. Whether home is a traditional residence, an assisted living facility, or nursing home, the hospice team will assist caregivers (and/or facility staff) with direct clinical care and education, integrative services, bereavement support, and delivery of medication, equipment, and supplies.In other cases, improving quality of life means remaining in a general inpatient setting with hospice support, taking the burden off hospital staff until the patient is able to transition home or until the patient dies. Hospice offers complex modalities in any setting, so patients who would otherwise be confined to an ICU can usually return home to be among loved ones.With support from hospice, a sepsis patient and their family are more likely to report higher satisfaction of care and greater quality of life. The patients emotional and spiritual needs can be met alongside their physical needs, thanks to care from chaplains, social workers, music and massage therapists, and other integrative specialists. Finally, the patient is more likely to die at home, surrounded by loved ones, rather than in the hospital.Because sepsis is most common in patients with advanced or chronic diseases that indicate hospice eligibility, acute incidences of sepsis should always trigger a hospice eligibility assessment. We owe it to our patients, their loved ones, and our colleagues in healthcare, all of whom can benefit from the support that timely end-of-life care offers.