Who Are You to Speak

Author

Lely Palms Retirement Community

For more information about the author, click to view their website: Lely Palms

Posted on

Jul 21, 2023

Book/Edition

Florida - Southwest

Share This

One of the most difficult aspects of being a caregiver for someone living with dementia has nothing to do with their actual daily care.

The challenge involves acting as a loved one’s advocate, speaking up for their needs when they can no longer formulate what is best for themselves. This situation is most difficult when physical challenges arise, such as the need for surgery or rehabilitation.

These situations also occur daily. There were times I wanted to act as my mother’s bodyguard, her protector, to the outside world. It was my job, in a way, to speak the unspoken. To say the unarticulated. I couldn’t be there all the time. There had to be other ways.

Being Named “Caregiver”

When my first husband was scheduled to receive a bone marrow transplant, I was assigned the duty and title of caregiver. I had already been his unofficial one, but agreement to this designation was required for entrance to the program. I felt important. He and I were now on equal footing. I had as much to say as he did in this quest.

Not everyone has the flexibility to be a caregiver, to be the point person, at those important junctions. However, there are certain approaches one can take or learn from, to become the advocate when necessary.

Before someone enters a hospital care setting, it’s important to establish a line of communication and a routine amongst yourself and your loved one. Just as one might do when pregnant, always carry a bag of essentials. This might include copies of living wills, snacks for your loved one (my mother loved Sandies cookies), a notebook, lavender lotion, a book for yourself or a volume of poetry to read and maintain calm. While we all carry technology in our pockets to keep us connected to the outside world, consider books or magazines to keep your eyes from tiring and your focus on what’s important. 

Consider making a homemade sign to leave in the loved one’s room. Words to remind those attending to a loved one of your loved one’s name, a few tidbits about them, and a reminder, if necessary, this person experiences memory loss, etc. Some care communities will also send along paperwork which might also include a type of greeting card for the doctors. A way of saying, thank you for attending to me - and it’s important you know the real me.

Is this necessary? I’ve spent many hours in hospital and care home settings. My husband works in a hospital. We’re familiar with the demands on both sides of the patient bed. The pressure for everyone to perform admirably for the sake of someone they don’t know, and someone you love intensely, is real. The stakes are high. Eliminate the stress and tension whenever possible.

Become a Manager

“As your care recipient’s advocate, be involved, don’t accept the status quo, and don’t be afraid to voice your concerns,” writes Nancy L. Kriseman, in Mindful Caregiver: Finding Ease in the Caregiving Journey.

It’s okay to challenge what some might view as norms. Our loved ones are individuals. It only makes sense they would not fall into the “norm.” The challenge is in the communication style which we choose to adopt when speaking for our loved one.

When my mother was dying, family members wanted to come to town and visit one final time. As her ongoing caregiver for over six years, I didn’t want to leave her side. I had to trust in those members, and in the staff. However, there was an issue with one family member. Given the personality of this person, I fully expected them to walk into the care home and make demands, despite the groundwork I had laid for my mother’s peaceful goodbyes. The staff understood. They had, after all, understood my mother’s needs sometimes or anticipated them better than I could. I had been correct. That person did make demands. With a kind heart, the staff convinced that person they would ensure my mother’s needs were being met.

In the end, I didn’t have to be concerned so much about my communication style, but that of the trained staff. The most important aspect is that one remains committed to the values you believe are important to uphold.

The secret to caregiving is understanding there will be days when you feel you are advocating alone and recognizing there are always ways to give yourself some backup by being prepared.

Annette Januzzi Wick is a writer, speaker, and author of I’ll Have Some of Yours, a journey of cookies and caregiving. (Three Arch Press). A frequent contributor to Cincinnati.com, her work has appeared in Cincinnati Magazine, nextavenue.com, Still Point Arts, 3rd Act MagazineBelt Magazine (forthcoming) and others. Visit annettejwick.com to learn more.

Other Articles You May Like

We are a Veteran-Owned Business Proud to Serve our Community

Veteran-owned HomeWell puts veterans first, offering exceptional in-home care that honors their service and values.As veterans, we understand the importance of protecting the well-being of others. Our service-driven approach is rooted in the values of perseverance, respect, dignity and honor as we aid families in need, support fellow veterans and help our community thrive through exceptional in-home care services. Committed to providing you with the peaceful retirement youve earned.The retirement years of those who have served should be marked by dignity, comfort and belonging. However, for veterans whose years of service are etched with valor and sacrifice, life as a citizen can prove challenging. Depending on their experiences, the transition to normalcy and everyday life can be a long-term endeavorone that continues well into their senior years.At HomeWell, weve found that the comfort of home can make all the difference for our esteemed soldiers who seek to age gracefully. For these individuals, maintaining autonomy is not just a preference; its a testament to the resilience that defines them. By bringing care directly to their doorstep, senior veterans can enjoy the familiarity of their own space while receiving the individualized care they need. Our role in veterans care:Our service-driven approach is rooted in the values of perseverance, respect, dignity and honor as we support veterans and their families, ultimately helping our community thrive through exceptional in-home care services. We thoughtfully consider the individual needs of each veteran entrusted to our care to develop a highly personalized plan that takes into account their physical, mental and emotional well-being at home.We also extend a helping hand to veterans and their families as they navigate their finances. We understand that paying out of pocket often hinders them from pursuing non-medical home care. However, if your loved one is enrolled in health care from the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) or has a monthly VA pension, they may be eligible to receive coverage for assistance with activities of daily living (ADL) at HomeWell.  If you or an aging loved one are considering Veterans Care in Plano, TX, contact the caring staff at HomeWell Care Services Plano TX  today. Call (469) 596-6500HomeWell Care Services Plano TX is a Trusted Home Care Agency serving Plano, Allen, McKinney, Frisco, Richardson, Garland, Little Elm, Prosper, and the surrounding areas.

HomeWell Care Services Plano, TX Shines Our Employee Spotlight on Community Relations Manager, Jerry Gorman!

This month, we shine our Employee Spotlight on Community Relations Manager, Jerry Gorman!Jerry is a senior living professional with over 35 years of sales, marketing, operations, and management experience. He is a servant-driven leader focused on helping his clients live their best lives by understanding their needs and exceeding their expectations.Jerry most recently worked in Senior Living as a Community Sales Director and Executive Director for many years before joining HomeWell Care Services in June of 2022 as the Community Relations Manager serving the North Dallas area.His responsibilities include creating positive brand awareness, networking with professional organizations, building relationships with senior living communities, churches, rehabilitation centers, adult senior centers, hospitals, and more that will result in long-lasting community partnerships, and keeping our home care services top of mind within the community we serve.Thank you, Jerry, for being an amazing professional. You are an asset to our companys continuing growth and make a difference in the lives of your clients and HomeWell Care Services Plano, TX! If you or an aging loved one are considering home care in Plano, TX, contact the caring staff at HomeWell Care Services Plano TX today!Call (469) 596-6500HomeWell Care Services Plano TX is a Trusted Home Care Agency serving Plano, Allen, McKinney, Frisco, Richardson, Garland, Little Elm, Prosper, and the surrounding areas.

Navigating the Maze of Long-Term Care Insurance: Expert Support from Amada Senior Care Dallas

As the population ages, the need for quality long-term care becomes increasingly significant. The expenses associated with senior care can be daunting, prompting individuals to explore various financial options to alleviate the financial burden. One such avenue is long-term care insurance (LTCi), a specialized insurance product designed to cover the costs of extended care services. As you delve into the complexities of LTCi, Amada Senior Care Dallas and owner, Eric vanGoethem offers invaluable assistance in navigating the intricacies of long-term care insurance. Understanding Long-Term Care Insurance Long-term care insurance is a crucial financial tool that provides coverage for services not typically covered by health insurance, Medicare, or Medicaid. These services include assistance with daily living activities such as bathing, dressing, and eating, often required by seniors or individuals with chronic illnesses. Amada Senior Care recognizes the importance of LTCi in ensuring that seniors receive the quality care they deserve without the overwhelming financial strain. Reviewing Policies and Confirming BenefitsThe first step in maximizing the benefits of LTCi is understanding the intricacies of the policy. Amada Senior Care Dallas takes pride in offering expert assistance in reviewing policies and verifying benefits. The process involves a thorough examination of the policy's terms and conditions, ensuring that the policyholder comprehends the scope of coverage and potential limitations.By providing clarity on the nuances of the LTCi policy, Amada Senior Care enables individuals to make informed decisions about their long-term care. This level of understanding is crucial to avoid surprises and ensure that the benefits are utilized effectively when the need arises.Managing Claims and Documentation One of the most significant challenges in utilizing LTCi benefits is the complex claims process. Amada Senior Care plays a pivotal role in guiding individuals through the labyrinth of claims forms and documentation. The experts at Amada understand the importance of a streamlined process, and their guidance expedites the approval and disbursement of funds for quality senior care.The meticulous handling of claims and documentation not only accelerates the process but also ensures that individuals receive the financial support they need promptly. This proactive approach reflects Amada Senior Care's commitment to easing the administrative burden on families facing the challenges of long-term care.Dedicated LTCi AdvocatesNavigating the bureaucracy of insurance carriers can be a daunting task, often leading to frustration and extended wait times. Amada Senior Care Dallas distinguishes itself by providing dedicated LTCi advocates who act as intermediaries between policyholders and insurance carriers. This eliminates the need for individuals to spend hours on hold or engage in protracted communication with insurance providers.By fostering professional relationships with multiple carriers, Amada Senior Care ensures efficient communication and resolution of issues. This personalized advocacy not only saves time but also enhances the overall experience for policyholders, allowing them to focus on the well-being of their loved ones.Optimizing Benefits and Monitoring PaymentsAmada Senior Care Dallas goes beyond mere assistance in claims processing; they are committed to optimizing the benefits provided by LTCi policies. By tailoring the benefits to align with individual care plans, Amada ensures that policyholders receive the maximum utility from their coverage.Additionally, the organization takes on the responsibility of monitoring payments, alleviating the stress associated with managing financial transactions with insurance carriers. This proactive approach ensures that payments are processed promptly, allowing for a seamless provision of quality senior care services.Expert Support from Eric vanGoethemEric vanGoethem, a recognized expert in the field, brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to the Amada Senior Care team. With a deep understanding of the intricacies of long-term care insurance, Eric plays a crucial role in guiding individuals through the complexities of policy interpretation, claims processing, and benefit optimization.Eric's expertise extends to establishing and maintaining professional relationships with various insurance carriers, enhancing the efficiency of communication and issue resolution. His dedication to the well-being of seniors and their families is evident in the personalized support he provides, ensuring that each individual's unique needs are addressed comprehensively.Long-term care insurance is a vital tool for safeguarding the financial well-being of seniors and individuals with chronic illnesses requiring extended care. Amada Senior Care Dallas, supported by owner Eric vanGoethem, stands out as a beacon of support in navigating the challenges associated with LTCi. From policy review to claims processing and benefit optimization, Amada Senior Care's comprehensive approach ensures that individuals receive the care they need without the undue burden of financial stress. As the aging population continues to grow, the importance of expert guidance in long-term care insurance becomes increasingly apparent, making Amada Senior Care Dallas a trusted partner in the journey towards quality senior care.  

Local Services By This Author

Lely Palms Retirement Community

Housing - Other Types 1000 Lely Palms Dr., Naples, Florida, 34113

Located on 28 acres of beautifully tropical landscaped property in Naples, Florida, Lely Palms Retirement Community offers independent living for persons ages 55 and over. Lely Palms also offers the only retirement villa rentals in Naples. Choose from an all-inclusive rental package, general rental, or trial stay with an array of floor plans including studios, alcoves, one and two bedroom apartments. Our rental community is designed for your active and healthy lifestyle.Independent Living Apartments and VillasFull-service rental plans for those looking to simplify their lifestyleGeneral rental plans to customize and add the services you desireOne of the few Naples area Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRC) with rental units

Lely Palms Retirement Community

Assisted Living 1000 Lely Palms Dr., Naples, Florida, 34113

Our family of assisted and independent living communities offer a sense of home with a variety of amenities.We know you have your own individual routines and interests, capabilities and needs and we strive to accommodate each resident's individuality.

Lely Palms Retirement Community

Independent Living 1000 Lely Palms Dr., Naples, Florida, 34113

Lely Palms Independent Living offers a variety of apartments (studio, 1 & 2 bedrooms) and 2 bedroom villas. Full Service rental plans are designed to simplify your lifestyle with many services included. General Rental plans allow you to customize the services you desire while not having to pay for those you don't need. No matter what plan you choose, you will be glad to call Lely Palms Retirement Community home.