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t a celebration of life, friends and family gather to honor and remember a loved one’s special life. A person's hobbies, skills, passions, occupation and charming personality traits can inform a unique tribute to a special life.
Not sure where to start? Dignity Memorial® planners are experienced at helping families create personalized memorials that deeply reflect the people they honor. Contact us.
Was Dad a person who never missed baseball's opening day? An afternoon with peanuts, hot dogs and popcorn is in order. Or was he a reserved man with a library that had to be seen to be believed? Give away some of his favorite books to friends and family at his memorial. Maybe his profession was his passion—that’s something to celebrate, too.
Whatever Dad loved to do—whomever he was—we can help you capture what made him the person you were proud of, the guy you loved, and the father you adored. Here are 50 celebration of life ideas to get you started.
Barber: Dad's customers were like family. Ask as many as you can to write down their most cherished barbershop memories; bind them together in small books for others to read.
Woodworker: You rarely saw dad without his tool belt. Pass out pocket-size measuring tapes so guests can carry a little bit of Dad wherever they go.
Cook: Honor his love of food by holding the celebration of life at his favorite restaurant, or with his favorite recipes. Toast to his many delicious meals that brought family and friends together.
Construction: Dad never hung up his hardhat, working long hours making sure projects stayed on track. Take photos of the places he helped build and hang them around the room.
Doctor or healthcare worker: He committed his life to healing his patients. Display his white coat and stethoscope on a garment form. Ask guests to contribute to a healthcare nonprofit in lieu of sending flowers.
First responder: His duty as a public servant was his honor. For firefighters, the day wouldn’t be complete without a hook-and-ladder truck, of course. Park it at the entrance so that guests get a glimpse of his ride.
Farmer: Use mini tractors and fresh vegetables as table centerpieces. Serve a Sunday-style supper of fried chicken, green beans, corn on the cob and biscuits.
Journalist: He really knew how to sniff out a story. Issue a press release instead of a program, cover tables with newsprint, display all of his awards.
Policeman: He was a hero in your life—and for many others you may not even know. Ask his fellow officers to record short videos to play at the celebration of life.
Photographer: His Canon went everywhere he did. Place instant cameras on tables and ask guests to snap pics to leave behind when the celebration of life is over.
Pilot/airline worker: Design a program like an old-school airline ticket. Give guests wing pins to wear when they arrive. Serve drinks and snacks from a rolling cart.
Rancher: Dad was always at home on the range, so host the event at his barn. Ask friends and family to wear jeans and boots. Tack up his favorite mare as a special guest.
Animal lover: They say dog is man’s friend. Dad and his pup were proof of that. Invite the SPCA to host an adoption event at Dad's memorial and someone may just walk away with his new best pal.
Baseball fan: Hang pennants and jerseys from his favorite team. Ask guests to wear team colors. Be sure everyone gets his or her fill of chili dogs.
Boater: Dad was always happiest when he was making a wake. Meet for a ceremony at his dock before taking his boat for one more sunset cruise with close friends and family.
Basketball fan: Shoot for hoops-themed afternoon, complete with team colors and mini basketballs from his alma mater.
Classic car lover: You could always find dad in the garage, tinkering with his latest set of wheels. Display his pride and joy, and ask members of his car club to bring theirs.
Football fan: Commandeer the funeral home parking lot for a real-deal tailgate. Set up flat-screens and put a game on, have burgers on the grill, and ask everyone to come in team colors.
Grill master: Pop’s ribs were legendary. Share his dry rub recipe with guests, and bring in BBQ from a few local joints for a group taste test.
Kiwanis/Lions/Rotary/Masons: Serving the community was at the heart of everything Dad did. Ask fellow club members to organize a volunteer outing for family and friends.
Outdoorsman: The wilderness was no match for Dad. Pitch a tent and kick off the event with campfire stories. Send home guests with the makings for s’mores.
Racing fan: If Sundays were for the speedway, deck tables in black-and-white checkered tablecloths and show famous races on the flat-screen.
Traveler: Design the program like a passport. Fill suitcases with maps and souvenirs from Dad’s favorite destinations.
Wine connoisseur: Dad’s wine knowledge was something to be admired. Gather close friends for big reds and fond memories. Let guests take home souvenir wine glasses.
Artist: Transform the funeral home into an art gallery. Hang some of Dad's work and host a silent auction for his favorite charity.
Baseball card collector: Frame some of his more coveted cards and display them with other memorabilia on the tables at the service.
Biker: For Dad, there was nothing like an open highway. Set the dress code as leather and serve chicken-fried steak as a nod to his chosen roadside diner.
Billiards player: Set up a pool table in the funeral home and have guests cue up. Chill out with burgers and beers.
Bird watcher: Invite guests to his favorite nature conservatory. Let the natural beauty—and the sound of songbirds—be the backdrop. Have guests bring their binoculars.
Bowler: Reserve a few lanes at the local alley and divide guests into teams. Ask friends and family to use a Sharpie to sign Dad’s bowling ball.
Black-tie affair: Host a fancy event with a violin player and passed hors d’oeuvres for your classy guy. Ask guests to toast to Dad’s memory during a seated dinner.
Country and western: You know Dad loved to show off his two-step. Hire a crooner and put down a dance floor.
Day at the races: If Derby Day was an official holiday at your house, ask friends and family to wear seersucker suits and fabulous hats. Pass out mint juleps for the toast.
Disco: He liked to boogie, sohang a mirror ball and hire a DJ to play all Dad’s favorite ’70s hits. Have guests wear costumes that channel your dancing king.
Game night: Set up tables with different games—dominoes, Scrabble, Cards Against Humanity, even charades—and ask guests to remember Dad’s competitive spirit as they cheer each other on.
Night at the movies: He could quote lines from practically every film released since 1960. Roll out the red carpet and ask guests to dress in their Oscar best. Pass out tiny boxes of movie theater candy.
Patriotic: The man loved his country. Play “Born in the U.S.A.” at the top of the hour. Ask guests to sing along to “God Bless the U.S.A.” Decorate the room with red, white and blue.
Comic book collector: Ask guests to fashion superhero capes to wear to Dad’s celebration. Showcase his collection for everyone to see. Play one of this favorite superhero movies during the reception.
Cyclist: He was dedicated to his bike. Host his memorial at his favorite spin studio. Help the instructor with tunes for a Dad-driven playlist.
Fisherman: Meet at the river and pass out some poles. The peaceful ritual of fishing may be all you need to find comfort. Fry up the afternoon’s catch just like Dad would have done.
Gardner: Serve an alfresco farm-to-table meal that speaks to Dad’s green thumb. Hand out seed packets so others can spread the love.
Golfer: Dress the room in Masters green and put in a putting station. Serve pimento cheese sandwiches and send guests home with personalized golf balls.
Home brewer: He finally perfected his hoppy home brew. Bottle up his last batch and pass it out at his celebration. Pair with brats and a game of darts.
Hunter: If Dad liked to greet sunrise in the woods, deck out a room like a deer blind. Have guests wear camo and hunter orange. Display his trophy buck.
Hockey fan: A night at the rink with Pops was always a blast. Decorate the room in his team’s colors and don’t forget the puck-shaped cookies.
Musician: No family event was complete without Dad on the guitar. Ask his fellow musicians to play at the memorial. Display his instruments for all to see.
Poker player: Host a charitable poker tournament, with all proceeds going to a nonprofit. Play with poker chips personalized with your gamblin’ man’s photo.
Runner: Organize a Saturday morning 5K. End the run with a celebration featuring marathon tales and energy drinks.
Skier: You’ll never forget racing down the slopes with Dad. Follow suit with an après ski theme, complete with hot toddies and hot chocolate.
Tennis player: Don Wimbledon whites for Dad’s memorial. Serve a traditional English tea, complete with scones and cream.
A simple checklist for making sure your obituary honors and informs.When a loved one has passed away, writing an obituary that honors their life can seem overwhelming. Dont worry - your obituary will honor their life simply by the act of you writing it. You want to celebrate your loved ones life and offer happy and enjoyable memories. You are helping to ease the pain of others simply by telling a story about your loved one.We hope that this checklist will take the stress and pressure off of you and allow you to honor your loved one. Remember, your funeral arranger is an experienced professional and is a valuable resource for writing the obituary.Include basic details about the persons lifeYou dont have to include all of this information, but here are the basics that are often included in an obituary. Choose the elements that are most relevant to your loved one: Age Any familial survivors Education Vocation When the person retired, if relevant Any military affiliations Any volunteer affiliations Include funeral informationFamily and friends often rely on an obituary for information on when and where a persons life will be celebrated, so your obituary will make it very simple for them to get that information (and will save you the hassle of having to answer lots of questions at a time when you would prefer not to be bothered with small details). You can include: Date and time of the funeral Place the funeral is being held Any viewing details Request for donations in lieu of flowers
The thought of public speaking throws many people into a panic. Add to that fear the common discomfort of discussing death, and it's easy to understand why the idea of delivering a eulogy can be disconcerting. If you've been asked to write a eulogy, take heart. This article will help you put your fears in perspective so you can deliver a loving eulogy."Why me?"You were probably asked to deliver a eulogy because of your close relationship to the deceased, and because the family trusts you to honor his or her memory on behalf of family and friends. The family doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, foolish or as though your grief is on display. It's an honor they've bestowed upon you. Helping others say goodbye may turn out to be a rewarding experience. Don't worry about making mistakes. A eulogy comes from the heart of the deliverer. I can't see how a mistake could be made as long as it is honest and true."I can't write."Don't let the thought of writing intimidate you. You don't have to be a novelist to move people. Everyone has a story to tell and that's your job as a eulogist. Tell people your story.In the book "A Labor of Love: How to Write a Eulogy," author Garry Schaeffer says a eulogy should convey the feelings and experiences of the person giving the eulogy, and should be written in an informal, conversational tone. Schaeffer dispels the misconceptions that a eulogy should objectively summarize the person's life or speak for all present. Sit down and write from the heart.Eulogists often write about the person's attributes, memories and common times that were shared together. Sometimes they include the deceased's favorite poems, book passages, scripture verses, quotes, expressions, lines from songs or items that were written by the deceased. Whatever is selected, it generally reflects the loved one's lifestyle.These questions should get you thinking: How did you and the deceased become close? Is there a humorous or touching event that represents the essence of your passed loved one? What did you and others love and admire about the deceased? What will you miss most about him or her? Some of the simplest thoughts are deeply touching and easy for those congregated to identify with. For example, "I'll miss her smile," or "I'll never forget the way he crinkled his nose when he laughed," are just as good as "I admired her selflessness.""I can't speak in front of people."It may not be easy, but you can do it. A funeral is one time you'll surely have a kind and empathetic audience. They feel for you and are on your side. You'll only have to speak for five to ten minutes, but your gift will live in the hearts of the deceased's family and friends.If you're worried about choking up or breaking down in the middle of your eulogy, you can take a moment to compose yourself, then carry on, as Schaeffer recommends, or you can have a back up person ready to step in. Give a copy of your eulogy to the minister or funeral director so that person can finish the eulogy if you're unable to continue.Tips Be honest and focus on the person's positive qualities Humor is acceptable if it fits the personality of the deceased. "If you are inclined to be a perfectionist, lower your expectations and just do what you can given the short time-frame and your emotional state," writes Schaeffer in "Labor of Love." Keep it brief. Five to ten minutes is the norm, but it's a good idea to verify that with the minister or funeral director. Leo Saguin recommends interviewing family and friends in his book "How to Write and Deliver a Loving Eulogy." Put the eulogy on paper - at least in outline form. Eulogy or Sharing Time?If you're planning the funeral, you might want to consider "sharing time" as an alternative to a eulogy. In sharing time, the people congregated pass a microphone or take turns standing up to share their thoughts. It's like a lot of mini eulogies and is more spontaneous.Links Offering Examples Mona Simpson, sister to Steve Jobs, delivered a heart wrenching eulogy that was posted in The New York Times on October 30, 2011 - Click here to read it in its entirety. Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher's eulogy for President Ronald Reagan was telecast at his services in 2005 as she remembered her friend. Click here to read it in its entirety. Books Offering Help, Examples and Inspiration Books Offering Help, Examples and Inspiration "The Book of Eulogies: A Collection of Memorial Tributes, Poetry, Essays, and Letters of Condolence" by Phyllis Theroux (editor) "How to Write and Deliver a Loving Eulogy" by Leo Seguin "Final Celebrations: A Guide for Personal and Family Funeral Planning" by Kathleen Sublette and Martin Flagg "In Memoriam: A Practical Guide to Planning a Memorial Service" by Amanda Bennett and Terence B. Foley "My Deepest Sympathies: Meaningful Sentiments for Condolence Notes and Conversations, Plus a Guide to Eulogies" by Florence Isaacs "Remembering Well: Rituals for Celebrating Life and Mourning Death" by Sarah York "Readings for Remembrance: A Collection for Funerals and Memorial Services" by Eleanor C. Munro (introduction) "Remembrances and Celebrations: A Book of Eulogies, Elegies, Letters, and Epitaphs" by Jill Werman Harris (editor)
What makes a funeral service memorable? Most often, it's the words that are spoken and the special people who say them. So when you gather with family members to plan a ceremony to help you celebrate the life of a loved one, it's wise to choose your speakers with care. There are several speaking roles to think about. Choosing the right person for each of these roles is important.Ceremony LeaderYou will need one person to take charge and oversee the ceremony. This person is responsible for starting and finishing the service, performing official duties within the ceremony, and coordinating all the activities in between. This person is called the officiant.If your loved one was involved in a religion, the clergy from his or her church may be the logical choice. If the person who died (the deceased) was not a member of a specific church, you can invite clergy from another church or an officiant with no church connection to perform a religious ceremony.Most clergy will follow an order of service dictated by their religious rules. This typically includes prayers, readings and blessings for the deceased and saddened family members.If a non-religious ceremony seems right, or family members are having trouble choosing the clergy, a professional funeral celebrant may be the solution. A celebrant will work with you to design a fully customized ceremony that can meet a variety of needs. Your funeral director can help arrange for an officiant.Guest Speaker or EulogistAnother important choice is the person or people who will write and deliver a speech a eulogy about the life of the person who has died. The speech is ideally given by someone who knew the person well enough to gather and share memories and highlights of his/her life.Sometimes the choice is obvious within the family. There is often one person who seems to be the unofficial family spokesperson. In other cases, the family needs to look further to find the right person to have the honor. Another family member, a lifelong friend or a trusted co-worker might have the perfect combination for the job a deep knowledge of the person who died and good writing and public speaking abilities. In some cases, the officiant, who may be a priest, minister, or professional celebrant, will give the eulogy.Many families choose to have more than one speaker to cover different aspects of their loved ones' life. One way to do this is to follow the main eulogy with a couple of shorter presentations; perhaps a grandson reading a letter or a daughter reading Mom's favorite poem. In all, no more than 30 minutes should be planned for the Eulogy part of the service.One last word of advice about eulogies: keep in mind that even though a family member may wish to speak at the funeral to help with the healing process, he or she may be too emotionally distressed to speak when the time comes. It's a good idea to have another speaker ready to step in and finish the speech if necessary.Reader(s)Many services include readings from the Bible or other sacred texts. These may be read by clergy or other guests. When planning the service, ask the clergy or celebrant whether guest readers are required or allowed. This could be a welcome honor for a family member or close friend who is not up to the task of writing or presenting a long speech. If you have guest readers, make sure they have the verses ahead of time in order to practice and double check any tricky words.Open MicrophoneIt has become popular to open the floor to allow guests to share additional memories with the group. While this practice can provide more information about the life of the deceased and create a deeper feeling of community, it's not without some risk. Clear time limits should be set and respected. The ceremony leader must be prepared to politely guide participants who speak too long, or the ceremony can start to drag.Final WordsThere are formal and informal rules, rites and traditions involved in almost any funeral or memorial ceremony. Especially if your service occurs in a place of worship, there will be guidelines to respect. Make sure you meet with the selected officiant ahead of time so you understand what to expect and have a chance to discuss any special requests.Most important, remember whose life you are celebrating. Their stated wishes, or your understanding of what they would prefer, should always guide your decisions.