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We all adhere a daily schedule to accomplish a long list of tasks, hurrying through chores so we can slow down and relish in whatever time is left over. I rush through the stands at the farmer’s market so I can take my time at home to make and eat panzanella salad and stuffed zucchini.
But what if we discovered the power of aimlessness at the farmer’s market? What if we released ourselves from the obligation of being directed, and allowed ourselves to be aimless?
Could we apply that same practice to our caregiving?
What is Aimlessness?
Tom Lutz, author of Aimlessness, writes how the word aimlessness suggests negative connotations of “drifting, disinterest in productivity, to have no target.” He also writes, “it can also mean to be open, unhurried, un-conniving, nonviolent.” I immediately thought of caregivers and how important this attribute is to our endurance, the livelihood of our loved ones, and our relationship with them.
It’s no secret caregivers organize their day around doctor’s appointments, visits with loved ones, family and work obligations, and time for themselves. What about the physical time spent with their loved one, in particular, someone experiencing dementia? Someone who is also unhurried. How can we open ourselves to the aimlessness of their present moment?
In a care home setting, my mother had access to the outside, weather permitting. This allowed her to circle the courtyard nonstop. Occasionally she stopped, admired the black-eyed Susans, and moved on to something more intriguing, like a hummingbird quickly flitting away from her sight.
Like my walks through the city where I set out in one direction and an innate calling directs me elsewhere, I imagine this was true for my mother. She set off on a path, was distracted by bright and shiny objects for a time and continued on her way. Arriving to visit her from my outside busy world, I slammed on the breaks of my organized life and slowed down. By mimicking or following her, I began relinquishing the need to focus.
The Meandering Mind
We live our life in awe of the slacker, people we understand to have a certain rootlessness in them. For instance, writer Jack Kerouac, once called himself a “Dharma Bum.” Yet, he was a closet workaholic. Ben Franklin, an inventor, a proponent of a strong work ethic, and someone who penned witty idioms, took a daily “air bath”, napping without clothing, which occupied a significant portion of his day.
Humans exist within these contradictions, but we can make room in our overstructured lives to free our minds and explore beyond the confines of our bulleted lists.
Tom Lutz suggests a better term for this is meander. “When I choose what I attend to, when I direct my attention, I change the flow of my consciousness, I change its course.” When a river changes its course, it is called meandering. When we daydream, our mind is meandering, uninterrupted by will or reflection.
This stream of consciousness flows in many directions, as we’ve witnessed in individuals with dementia. While the term redirect is frequently used as a practice in caregiving to turn individuals away from harmful situations, we mistakenly think we must direct our loved ones at every turn. We don’t.
When my mother often rambled in conversation or her actions, she was creating a story from memory, the present moment, and from imagination. Daydreaming, her mind meandered.
Daydreaming and Our Brains
Do we daydream for as long as we are alive? A 2019 study revealed individuals living with frontotemporal dementia, defined by a progressive loss of spindle neurons in the frontal and or temporal lobes of the brain, experience the loss of daydreaming.
"Individuals with frontotemporal dementia become very rigid in their thinking," explains Associate Professor Muireann Irish from the University of Sydney, a part of the study. "They are unable to visualize alternatives, to think of solutions to problems, or to deviate from their everyday routines. Simply put, these individuals are stuck in the moment."
In the research they discovered that the minds of healthy adults wandered off the presented subject matter to “more interesting ideas.” Those with frontotemporal dementia remained fixated on the subject matter before them, reporting they were either thinking about “nothing” or about the stimulus itself. However, both groups, healthy adults and those living with frontotemporal dementia, reported the same volume of mind wandering. In essence, every participant thought they were daydreaming, despite what they reported.
Like the manifestations of dementia itself, our minds do wander off and forge new paths for us to live out. My mother’s physical meandering was legendary. Though I cannot predict what her mental meandering looked like, I like to think she was always creating a new day for herself.
Annette Januzzi Wick is a writer, speaker, and author of I’ll Have Some of Yours, a journey of cookies and caregiving. (Three Arch Press). A frequent contributor to Cincinnati.com, her work has appeared in Cincinnati Magazine, nextavenue.com, Still Point Arts, 3rd Act Magazine, Belt Magazine (forthcoming) and others. Visit annettejwick.com to learn more.
Caring for a loved one is one of the most compassionate things a person can dobut it can also be one of the most exhausting. For many caregivers, especially those supporting seniors, the physical, emotional, and mental toll can quietly build over time, leading to caregiver burnout. Understanding what caregiver burnout is, how to prevent it, and where to turn for help is essential for maintaining your own well-being and continuing to provide quality care.What Is Caregiver Burnout?Caregiver burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by the prolonged and overwhelming responsibilities of caregiving. It often occurs when caregivers dont get the help they need or try to do more than they are ablephysically or financially.Common signs include:Constant fatigue, even after restFeeling overwhelmed or hopelessIrritability or mood swingsWithdrawal from friends and familyChanges in sleep or appetiteGetting sick more frequentlyLeft unaddressed, caregiver burnout can not only harm the caregivers health, but also diminish the quality of care given to their loved one.Why Seniors and Their Families Should Be ConcernedMany caregivers are unpaid family members, often adult children or spouses, who juggle care responsibilities with full-time jobs, parenting, and personal commitments. The unique challenges of senior caregivingmanaging medications, mobility issues, memory decline, and medical appointmentscan compound stress.Seniors and their families must work together to recognize burnout risks and develop sustainable caregiving plans.How to Prevent Caregiver BurnoutPreventing caregiver burnout requires proactive steps that protect the caregivers health and promote balance in their daily routine. Heres how to stay ahead of it: Acknowledge Your Limits Recognize that you cannot do everything alone. Being honest about your limitations doesnt make you a bad caregiverit makes you a smart one. Delegate responsibilities and set boundaries that protect your own health. Take Breaks with Respite Care Respite care provides temporary relief for caregivers by arranging professional help or trusted support to step in. This might be a few hours a week or a short stay at a facility. Scheduling regular breakseven short onescan be immensely restorative. Stay Connected Dont isolate yourself. Stay in touch with friends and family or join a support group for caregivers. Talking to others who understand your situation can offer both emotional support and practical tips. Focus on Self-Care Make self-care a non-negotiable. Prioritize sleep, eat nourishing meals, get regular exercise, and make time for activities you enjoy. Even small changes can make a big impact on your energy and mood. Use Community Resources Tap into local organizations, non-profits, and healthcare providers offering caregiver resources. From meal deliveries to transportation services, these supports can ease your load and improve care for your loved one.Helpful Support ResourcesIf you're feeling overwhelmed, you're not aloneand help is available. These caregiver support resources can provide guidance, relief, and tools to manage burnout:Family Caregiver Alliance (caregiver.org): Offers support groups, tips, and legal resourcesEldercare Locator (eldercare.acl.gov): A public service that connects you with services in your areaArea Agencies on Aging (n4a.org): Offers caregiving programs, training, and respite careSeniors Blue Book: Use our free directory to find senior-focused services like home health agencies, elder law attorneys, transportation, and moreHow Seniors Blue Book Helps CaregiversAt Seniors Blue Book, we understand the critical role caregivers play in senior care. Thats why we provide a free, easy-to-use directory connecting caregivers and families with trusted local providers. Whether you're looking for in-home care, assisted living options, or wellness resources, we make it easier to find services that support both the senior and the caregiver.Our listings include detailed descriptions, contact information, and helpful articles designed to inform and empower family caregivers in making the best decisions.Final ThoughtsCaregiver burnout is realand its common. But with the right awareness, tools, and support, you can prevent it or recover from it. Recognizing the early signs, prioritizing self-care, and using available resources can make a world of difference for both you and your loved one.At Seniors Blue Book, were here to help. Our free listing service connects you with trusted senior care providers in your area and offers educational content to guide you through the caregiving journey. Dont wait until burnout sets intake steps now to protect your health and provide the best care possible.Ready to take the next step in your caregiving journey? Contact Seniors Blue Book today at hello@seniorsbluebook.com or call 800-201-9989 to learn more, get personalized guidance, and access a full care assessmentincluding easy-to-implement tips to make caregiving more manageable. Let us help you support your loved one while also caring for yourself.
If you were asked to answer the question, Today I feel grateful for______?, what would you answer? If you said, Not much, youre not alone.Consider family caregiver Dees response when asked the question about what shes grateful for: Not much, DeeAnn candidly commented. Its been a bad day, and I dont roll with the punches very well.In contrast, Ednita claimed gratitude for the occasional breeze were getting today while Chris was grateful to still being able to help others.Some caregiversand there are more than 53 million in the United States alonemay relate more with DeeAnn and less with Ednita and Chris as they go through their stressful caregiving day. And thats OK.In order to move past the struggles and learn how to cultivate more optimism in your caregiving life, follow these tips for creating positivity and building resiliency in the face of adversity.9 Ways to Be a More Optimistic CaregiverLook for the Good In order to keep the negative thoughts at bay, try making a list each day of things that are good in your life. When problems loom large, look for the small bright spots in your life like a cool breeze, sunshine or a nap.Speak Kindly to Yourself Dont say anything to yourself that you wouldnt say to anyone else, recommends a mayoclinic.org article on positive thinking. Turning off the negative dialogue in your head can be a powerful tool to harness optimism. For example, instead of thinking, This will never work, you might say to yourself, Ill try again a different way.Lean on Positive People Surrounding yourself with positive friends and family is helpful when trying to stay upbeat yourself. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, said the late Jim Rohn, entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker. Stay connected with these people by getting together regularly in person or online. You might consider joining a supportive online community.Find Happiness Through Health A healthy diet and exercise can go a long way to improve mood and overall wellness. Exercise and good nutrition can reduce stress, increase energy, and foster good sleep habits. Maintaining a healthy diet is a priority for Cindy, a family caregiver. Its probably one of the most important things to do to keep my mind sharp, she said.Remember you are Doing Your Best Stay positive and give yourself grace. Even if you lose your temper, that doesnt detract from all of the positive that youve done for your aging loved one. Let go of the guilt, which is a normal part of the caregiving process, and if youre struggling with feeling angry about your role as a caregiver, find positive ways to redirect your emotions. Remember that you are showing up every day and making a difference.Laugh More Not only does laughter make you feel good, but its positive effects also stay with you long after the chuckling subsides. Research shows that laughter lowers stress hormones, relaxes muscles, improves mood, and eases anxiety.Keep it Simple Sometimes, doing only what needs to be done dishes, laundry, meals can make the days less daunting. Dont set unrealistic goals for yourself. Pick one thing to accomplish and focus on that.Take Time for Yourself Whether its a quick walk around the block or meeting a friend for lunch, taking a break from caregiving duties and focusing on self-care is important for your health and wellbeing. Look to a family member, friend, or professional caregiver to give you a few hours to yourself so you can recharge and maintain an optimistic outlook.Embrace Your Spiritual Side Spirituality has been shown to improve mood and even physical health. Memory care expert and author of The Best Friends Approach to Dementia Care, David Troxel suggests finding focused time for spiritual activities during the day including sharing/reading prayers with your aging loved one, singing or listening to spiritual music.Caregiving can be rewarding, but no caregiver breezes through the journey without feeling some degree of negativity and hopelessness creeping in. By following tips to stay positive, you may be able to transition your outlook to one of optimism and gratitude for even the smallest positive things in life.Consider the benefits professional respite care, from a company like Home Instead, which provides a break from the rigors of caregiving and helps you focus more on the blessings in your life.
Feeling overwhelmed as a family caregiver? Learn the 9 warning signs of burnout and how Comfort Keepers' respite care in Delta, CO, can help you rest and recharge.Caring for an aging loved one is one of the most selfless and rewarding things you can do. In fact, 43.5 million Americans serve as unpaid family caregivers, ensuring their loved ones receive the support and care they need at home. However, caregiving is also physically, emotionally, and mentally demanding. Even the most devoted caregivers need time to rest and recharge.If youre feeling drained, overwhelmed, or stretched too thin, it may be time to consider respite care. This article will guide you through what respite care is, when to consider it, and the key signs of caregiver burnout that indicate its time for a break.What is Respite Care for Family Caregivers in Delta, CO?Respite care is a temporary caregiving service designed to provide relief for family caregivers while ensuring their loved ones continue to receive high-quality care. It allows you to step back, focus on your well-being, and take care of personal responsibilities without disrupting your loved ones routine.Respite care services include:Meal Preparation Ensuring your loved one has nutritious meals and snacks.Transportation Helping with doctors appointments, errands, or social visits.Household Support Light housekeeping, laundry, and organization.Personal Care Assistance Help with bathing, dressing, and hygiene.Companionship Providing meaningful social interaction to keep your loved one engaged.By incorporating respite care into your routine, you can maintain a balance between caregiving and personal well-being, ensuring both you and your loved one thrive.When to Consider Respite CareRespite care is designed to be flexible and customizable. Whether you need support for a few hours, a few days, or even a few weeks, professional respite care can help you navigate the demands of caregiving without feeling overwhelmed.You should consider respite care if you need to:Take a vacation or a weekend getaway.Attend a business trip or work-related obligation.Run errands or manage household tasks.Recover from an illness, surgery, or injury.Tend to personal matters or simply recharge.While these are all great reasons to seek respite care, the most critical reason is caregiver burnout. When caregiving starts affecting your health, well-being, and ability to provide care, its time to get professional support.The Top 9 Signs of Caregiver BurnoutRecognizing the signs of caregiver burnout is essential for maintaining both your health and the quality of care you provide. If youre experiencing any of the following, it may be time to seek respite care:Feeling OverwhelmedDo you feel like theres too much on your plate? Are household tasks, appointments, and responsibilities piling up? If you constantly feel like youre drowning in to-dos, its a sign that you need support. Respite care can help by giving you time to breathe, regroup, and return to caregiving with renewed energy.Constant ExhaustionFeeling physically and emotionally drained, even after a full nights sleep, is a clear sign of burnout. Caregiving requires a great deal of energy, and without breaks, fatigue can become chronic. Respite care offers you the opportunity to get the rest you need and maintain your health in the long run.Increased IrritabilityIf you find yourself snapping at loved ones, losing patience easily, or feeling frustrated over small things, its a sign that stress is taking its toll. The emotional strain of caregiving can lead to short tempers and strained relationships. Taking a break allows you to reset and approach caregiving with a more positive mindset.Neglecting Your Own NeedsAre you skipping meals, canceling doctors appointments, or not getting enough rest? Many caregivers prioritize their loved ones needs over their own, often at the expense of their health. However, you cant provide the best care for someone else if youre running on empty. Respite care gives you the time and space to take care of yourself, ensuring you stay healthy and strong.ForgetfulnessIf youre forgetting important dates, appointments, or tasks, it may be a sign that stress and exhaustion are affecting your cognitive function. Mental fog and forgetfulness can be dangerous, especially when managing medications or appointments. Taking time to rest and reset can help restore your focus and clarity.Social IsolationWhen was the last time you spent time with friends or did something just for yourself? Caregiving can be isolating, leaving little time for social activities or hobbies. However, maintaining social connections is crucial for emotional well-being. Respite care enables you to step away for a bit and engage with your friends, family, and favorite activities without worry.Concern from Family and FriendsIf your family or friends express concern about your well-being, listen to them. Sometimes, those around us recognize burnout before we do. If your loved ones are urging you to take a break, consider their perspective. Respite care is an easy way to ensure your loved one is well cared for while you recharge.Declining Mental HealthFeelings of sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness should never be ignored. Caregiving can be emotionally taxing, and prioritizing your mental health is just as important as physical health. If you find yourself feeling down, overwhelmed, or unable to enjoy things that once made you happy, respite care can provide the relief you need to focus on your well-being.Making Frequent MistakesMissing medication doses, forgetting doctors appointments, or neglecting essential tasks can have serious consequences. If you notice an increase in mistakes, its a sign that you need to take a step back and recharge. Respite care can help you regain control and ensure that your loved one continues to receive the best possible care.If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, dont wait until burnout takes a toll on your health. Seeking respite care is a proactive step toward maintaining your well-being and ensuring your loved one receives the best possible care. If you have any questions, please call us at 970-240-4121.
Located on 28 acres of beautifully tropical landscaped property in Naples, Florida, Lely Palms Retirement Community offers independent living for persons ages 55 and over. Lely Palms also offers the only retirement villa rentals in Naples. Choose from an all-inclusive rental package, general rental, or trial stay with an array of floor plans including studios, alcoves, one and two bedroom apartments. Our rental community is designed for your active and healthy lifestyle.Independent Living Apartments and VillasFull-service rental plans for those looking to simplify their lifestyleGeneral rental plans to customize and add the services you desireOne of the few Naples area Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRC) with rental units
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Lely Palms Independent Living offers a variety of apartments (studio, 1 & 2 bedrooms) and 2 bedroom villas. Full Service rental plans are designed to simplify your lifestyle with many services included. General Rental plans allow you to customize the services you desire while not having to pay for those you don't need. No matter what plan you choose, you will be glad to call Lely Palms Retirement Community home.