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Anger, Resentment, and Guilt: The
Inter-Connected Emotions of Family Caregiving
Being a family
caregiver is an emotional roller coaster. On the one hand, it feels good to
care for someone you love. On the other hand, it can be stressful,
time-consuming, and draining. This can lead to a set of interconnected emotions
– namely anger, resentment, and guilt.
Anger
Anger often
comes from a sense of obligation or being taken for granted. Caregivers can
feel as though they’re stuck with the biggest workload because they’re the
oldest sibling, they’re closest to the one receiving care, or they are the most
responsible.
From the
outside looking in, it’s hard for someone else to understand the time and
effort you’re putting in, and that can trigger anger in a caregiver. Caregivers
want to know, and hear, that they are appreciated and doing a good job.
Resentment
Feeling
resentment is similar to feeling anger, but not quite the same.
Psychologists
label the feeling as “the re-experiencing of past wrongdoings, real or
perceived,” a feeling that you’re stuck serving the person, indefinitely, and
that’s causing your anger and discontent with the caregiving responsibilities.
This means
resentment is often aimed at the person you’re caring for. This can happen as
your loved one’s aging process or illness creates more responsibilities for you
and makes you take on an additional role on top of your everyday life.
Guilt
Guilt is a
particularly draining emotion. It typically comes after noticing feelings of
anger and resentment. Once you reflect on your emotions and begin to feel bad
that you’ve developed hostile feelings towards a loved one, guilt is the next
logical response.
It can also be
a primary driver of caregiver stress and burnout, as many family caregivers
feel guilty for needing a break or not being able to do more for a loved one.
These feelings
of guilt can be related to many things, such as:
•
Feeling
you are not spending enough time caring for your parent(s)
•
Feeling
like you’re not spending enough time with your kids because you are caring for
your parent(s)
•
Feeling
that your spouse might be the last person you think about.
•
Not
taking care of yourself, missing a workout or being unfocused at work.
You can also
feel guilty about not having your parents move in with you or leaving your
parents in a house they can no longer manage. And sometimes, you might even
feel guilt thinking that your life would be easier if your parent(s) died.
How to Manage These Emotions
1. Better
understand the disease process of your loved one. This can help you develop the
appropriate engagement style and communication patterns to reduce the
likelihood of getting angry or resentful.
2. Assess your
ability to provide the level of care your loved one needs:
•
Are
you physically able to care for this person?
•
Are
you emotionally able to care for this person?
•
Is
there an appropriate environment in which to provide the level of care that is
required?
3. Make a plan
to provide the appropriate level of care. This will reduce your stress level
because you will feel more in control.
Be sure to tap
into a local care manager to understand the local services and support that can
be incorporated into your care plan, such as medical transportation,
prescription delivery, Meals on Wheels and respite care from a home care agency
such as SYNERGY HomeCare.
4. Make peace
that this will be an emotional time for your entire family. There’s no shame in
seeking professional counseling to support you through this life-changing
process.
Dr. Macie P.
Smith is a licensed gerontology social worker who is focused on helping
families support their aging loved ones through long-term care.
SYNERGY
HomeCare offers no
obligation home assessments. Call
Synergy HomeCare serving Mobile & Baldwin Counties in Alabama at
251-621-1900 to talk to a Home Care specialist.
Protecting Your Loved Ones Independence and Well-Being at HomeHelping a family member remain independent and living at home is a labor of love, but at times it can be overwhelming. There is so much to consider beyond just their overall health and well-being. Depending on the situation, a loved one may need immediate or future help coordinating medical care or managing finances. Having the proper Power of Attorney credentials established can help caregivers navigate the complexities of the system and avoid costly or time-consuming pitfalls during their loved ones aging journey.Here is a basic overview of two of the most common Power of Attorney documents:Financial Power of Attorney (Durable)With a Financial Power of Attorney (POA), a person known as the principal appoints an agent to carry out financial and other activities, as instructed by the principal. Often the person designated is a family member but note that it may be advisable to name a primary agent and an alternate agent. Principals may choose whether the POA becomes effective immediately or only in the event of illness/disability. Ideally, the POA document should have language indicating that it is durable (remains in effect even after the person is legally incapacitated). In Pennsylvania, the Financial POA must be notarized and witnessed. The law also stipulates that a POA must exercise the powers for the benefit of the principal, keep the assets of the principal separate from their own, and exercise reasonable caution and prudence. Financial Power of Attorney ceases after the principal passes away.Medical Power of AttorneyPennsylvania recognizes two types of advanced directives for healthcare decisions: Medical Power of Attorney and Living Wills. The Medical Power of Attorney, also known as a Healthcare POA or healthcare proxy, is broader in scope than a Living Will in that it empowers the caregiver to make all medical decisions if their loved one is unconscious, incapacitated, or mentally incompetent. The appointed person will be able to access medical records, speak to healthcare professionals, and make healthcare judgments and medical decisions based on their loved ones treatment (or non-treatment) preferences. A Medical POA is a crucial component of advance care planning, allowing your loved one to ensure that their healthcare preferences are honored. The document must have two witnesses and be notarized.Information and downloadable Power of Attorney pdf documents are available online. During the application process to Senior LIFE, a Senior LIFE outreach coordinator can also help you get started with the POA process. Contact us today.
Tailored caregiver services are designed to address the unique needs of each individual, ensuring personalized and compassionate care. Whether its assisting with daily activities, managing medical appointments, or offering companionship, caregivers focus on delivering support that aligns with personal preferences and lifestyle. Understanding that every situation is different, these services adapt to evolving requirements, providing a customized approach that enhances quality of life. By focusing on individual needs and preferences, tailored caregiver services ensure that each person receives the attentive and dedicated care they deserve.Understanding Tailored Caregiver ServicesTailored caregiver services are meticulously crafted to meet the distinctive needs of each person, ensuring that care is both personalized and compassionate. This individualized approach is essential for addressing specific preferences and health requirements. 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This ongoing adjustment helps ensure that individuals continue to receive the support they need, even as their needs change over time.Personalized Assistance for Daily ActivitiesTailored caregiver services provide personalized assistance with daily activities, ensuring that each individual's routine is managed according to their specific needs and preferences. From meal preparation and personal hygiene to light housekeeping, caregivers are trained to offer support in a way that respects personal habits and choices.This personalized assistance is crucial for maintaining independence while ensuring safety and comfort. By focusing on individual preferences and routines, caregivers help create a supportive environment that enhances overall quality of life. This approach ensures that daily activities are managed smoothly and in a manner that aligns with each person's unique lifestyle.Managing Medical Appointments EfficientlyEfficient management of medical appointments is a crucial component of tailored caregiver services. Caregivers help coordinate and manage appointments, ensuring that individuals receive timely and appropriate medical care. This includes scheduling visits, arranging transportation, and keeping track of medical records and prescriptions.By handling these logistics, caregivers help alleviate the stress and confusion that can come with managing multiple appointments. This support ensures that individuals adhere to their medical treatment plans and receive the care they need without the burden of administrative tasks.Building Trust through Reliable CareTrust is a cornerstone of effective caregiving, and tailored services are designed to build and maintain this essential element. Caregivers work diligently to establish a reliable and trustworthy relationship with each individual. This trust is built through consistent, respectful, and compassionate care, ensuring that individuals feel safe and supported.Reliable care fosters a sense of security and peace of mind, both for the individuals receiving care and their families. By demonstrating reliability and dedication, caregivers help create an environment where trust is a fundamental part of the caregiving experience.Enhancing Quality of Life with Personalized SupportTailored caregiver services are focused on enhancing quality of life through personalized support. By addressing individual needs and preferences, caregivers contribute to a more fulfilling and comfortable daily experience. This personalized approach ensures that all aspects of care are designed to improve overall well-being and satisfaction.From managing health conditions to providing emotional support, tailored services aim to create a positive impact on daily living. By focusing on each person's unique requirements, caregivers help enhance the quality of life, allowing individuals to enjoy a more meaningful and enriching life experience.Personalized SupportCaregivers offer support that is customized to meet each individual's specific needs and preferences. This personalized approach ensures that care is not only practical but also aligned with the person's lifestyle and desires. By focusing on what matters most to each individual, caregivers enhance comfort and satisfaction in daily living.Enhanced Quality of LifeTailored caregiver services contribute to a significantly improved quality of life by addressing both physical and emotional needs. This holistic approach ensures that all aspects of well-being are considered, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Personalized care helps individuals feel more secure, valued, and content in their daily routines.Management of Health ConditionsCaregivers provide essential assistance with managing health conditions in a manner that suits each person's unique situation. This includes medication management, monitoring health metrics, and coordinating with healthcare providers. By tailoring these services, caregivers help individuals achieve better health outcomes and maintain their well-being effectively.Emotional SupportIn addition to practical care, caregivers offer crucial emotional support that enhances mental well-being. Engaging in meaningful conversations, providing companionship, and offering a listening ear help reduce feelings of loneliness and anxiety. This emotional support is integral to maintaining a positive outlook and overall mental health.Meaningful ExperienceBy focusing on the unique needs and preferences of each individual, caregivers help create a more engaging and enriching daily experience. This personalized approach ensures that each person can enjoy their routines and activities in a way that feels meaningful and fulfilling. Enhanced personal interactions contribute to a more satisfying and connected life.ConclusionTailored caregiver services are essential for meeting unique needs and enhancing overall well-being. At Home Matters Caregiving, we prioritize personalized support to ensure that each individual receives care that aligns with their specific preferences and requirements. Our dedicated caregivers focus on both practical assistance and emotional support, creating a nurturing environment that fosters a fulfilling and comfortable daily experience. By addressing each persons distinct needs, we contribute to a higher quality of life and promote greater satisfaction. For those seeking specialized caregiver services in Pittsburgh, PA, Home Matters Caregiving is committed to delivering exceptional, customized care that makes a meaningful difference in everyday living.
Caring for Aging Parents: Let FirstLight Lighten Your LoadWatching your parents age and begin to need help can be one of lifes most emotional and challenging transitions. As they require assistance with everyday tasksfrom getting dressed to grocery shoppingit can feel overwhelming to shoulder these responsibilities on your own. At FirstLight Home Care, were here to support you and your loved ones with compassionate care that makes a difference.The Challenges of Caring for Aging ParentsBeing a primary caregiver for your aging parents can be as rewarding as it is exhausting. Between managing your own responsibilitieswork, family, and personal needsit may feel like there arent enough hours in the day. Many caregivers find themselves stretched thin, sacrificing sleep, hobbies, and social connections to meet the needs of their parents.This cycle often leads to burnout. The constant physical, mental, and emotional demands can leave you drained, making it harder to provide the care your loved ones deserve. Its common to feel like youve lost your sense of self, but remember: you dont have to do it all alone.Supporting Your Aging ParentsThe level of care your parents need depends on their situation. Some may only require occasional check-ins, while others may need help with daily routines like showering, preparing meals, or managing medications.As health challenges grow, these responsibilities can feel like a full-time job. Its a heavy load for one person to carry, especially when trying to balance everything else in life. Thats where FirstLight Home Care steps in to help.How Companion Care Makes a DifferenceAt FirstLight, we offer a range of senior care services, including companion care, dementia care, respite care, and more. Our caregivers are carefully matched to each familys unique needs, bringing much-needed relief to those caring for aging parents.Companionship and Emotional SupportLoneliness is common among seniors, but our compassionate caregivers bring connection and joy to their daily lives. Whether its sharing stories, assisting with communication, or helping them stay socially active, our team is here to keep your parents engaged and happy.Daily Living AssistanceFrom light housekeeping to meal preparation, our caregivers ensure your loved ones home remains a clean, safe, and healthy space. They can also help with hygiene, toileting, and mobility, all while treating your parents with the dignity and respect they deserve.Relieving Family Caregiver StressHaving professional support means youll have more time and energy for yourselfand for your parents. Instead of being overwhelmed by caregiving duties, you can focus on strengthening your relationship with them and creating meaningful memories.Let Us Support Your FamilyCaring for aging parents is no small task, but you dont have to do it alone. At FirstLight Home Care, were here to share the load and provide expert care that brings peace of mind to you and your family.Whether your parents need help with daily activities, companionship, or more specialized care, our trained caregivers are ready to step in and provide the support they deserve.Reach out to FirstLight Home Care today to explore personalized care options near you.Ready to learn more?Discover how FirstLight can make life easier for you and your loved ones. Contact us for personalized pricing or visit your nearest location to begin. Together, we can help your parents live their best lifewhile giving you the space to thrive, too. Call FirstLight Home Care in Bloomington at 612-473-3227.
Welcome to SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne: Up to 24-hour home careCARE THAT MOVES YOULife moves in one direction forward. No matter what each persons circumstances are, SYNERGY HomeCare steps in with effective, comforting, life-affirming care that moves people, and their loved ones, emotionally and physically forward. From personal assistance and companionship to live-in and end-of-life comfort care, we provide the extra help needed to propel everyone safely and confidently to their fullest potential.HOME CARE YOU WANTWe offer a variety of care services from elder companionship to Alzheimers care.WHEN YOU NEED ITWhether its companionship or transportation or 24/7 memory care for a loved one with Alzheimers, SYNERGY HomeCare offers specialized and personalized care.HOW YOU EXPECT ITWe offer the top-notch care you expect by hiring and training quality caregivers. Weve also expanded our service areas to better support our community.Call us for a consultation. We are compassionate and caring.Care Management and Respite Care for family membersPersonal Assistance (Bathing/Showering, Dressing, Personal Hygiene, etc.)Alzheimer's/Memory Care/Specialized CareMeal Preparation/Mealtime AssistanceMobility Assistance/Fall Risk MitigationLight HousekeepingCompanionship/Errands/Grocery ShoppingDoctor's Appointments and TransportationExercise and Healthy LivingSupport 24/7Coordination of Care with Hospitals, Home Health and HospiceMedication RemindersSo much more...We offer full support for fuller lives! Call us today for a FREE in-home assessment.