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Anger, Resentment, and Guilt: The
Inter-Connected Emotions of Family Caregiving
Being a family
caregiver is an emotional roller coaster. On the one hand, it feels good to
care for someone you love. On the other hand, it can be stressful,
time-consuming, and draining. This can lead to a set of interconnected emotions
– namely anger, resentment, and guilt.
Anger
Anger often
comes from a sense of obligation or being taken for granted. Caregivers can
feel as though they’re stuck with the biggest workload because they’re the
oldest sibling, they’re closest to the one receiving care, or they are the most
responsible.
From the
outside looking in, it’s hard for someone else to understand the time and
effort you’re putting in, and that can trigger anger in a caregiver. Caregivers
want to know, and hear, that they are appreciated and doing a good job.
Resentment
Feeling
resentment is similar to feeling anger, but not quite the same.
Psychologists
label the feeling as “the re-experiencing of past wrongdoings, real or
perceived,” a feeling that you’re stuck serving the person, indefinitely, and
that’s causing your anger and discontent with the caregiving responsibilities.
This means
resentment is often aimed at the person you’re caring for. This can happen as
your loved one’s aging process or illness creates more responsibilities for you
and makes you take on an additional role on top of your everyday life.
Guilt
Guilt is a
particularly draining emotion. It typically comes after noticing feelings of
anger and resentment. Once you reflect on your emotions and begin to feel bad
that you’ve developed hostile feelings towards a loved one, guilt is the next
logical response.
It can also be
a primary driver of caregiver stress and burnout, as many family caregivers
feel guilty for needing a break or not being able to do more for a loved one.
These feelings
of guilt can be related to many things, such as:
•
Feeling
you are not spending enough time caring for your parent(s)
•
Feeling
like you’re not spending enough time with your kids because you are caring for
your parent(s)
•
Feeling
that your spouse might be the last person you think about.
•
Not
taking care of yourself, missing a workout or being unfocused at work.
You can also
feel guilty about not having your parents move in with you or leaving your
parents in a house they can no longer manage. And sometimes, you might even
feel guilt thinking that your life would be easier if your parent(s) died.
How to Manage These Emotions
1. Better
understand the disease process of your loved one. This can help you develop the
appropriate engagement style and communication patterns to reduce the
likelihood of getting angry or resentful.
2. Assess your
ability to provide the level of care your loved one needs:
•
Are
you physically able to care for this person?
•
Are
you emotionally able to care for this person?
•
Is
there an appropriate environment in which to provide the level of care that is
required?
3. Make a plan
to provide the appropriate level of care. This will reduce your stress level
because you will feel more in control.
Be sure to tap
into a local care manager to understand the local services and support that can
be incorporated into your care plan, such as medical transportation,
prescription delivery, Meals on Wheels and respite care from a home care agency
such as SYNERGY HomeCare.
4. Make peace
that this will be an emotional time for your entire family. There’s no shame in
seeking professional counseling to support you through this life-changing
process.
Dr. Macie P.
Smith is a licensed gerontology social worker who is focused on helping
families support their aging loved ones through long-term care.
SYNERGY
HomeCare offers no
obligation home assessments. Call
Synergy HomeCare serving Mobile & Baldwin Counties in Alabama at
251-621-1900 to talk to a Home Care specialist.
The Importance of Meal Preparation for SeniorsEating well is essential for seniors to stay healthy, maintain strength, and manage chronic conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure, or heart disease. However, aging often brings challenges that interfere with regular eating habits: Limited mobility or arthritis can make it difficult to stand, chop, or lift cookware. Cognitive decline may cause a person to forget meals or how to safely use kitchen appliances. Loss of appetite or interest in cooking, especially when living alone. Dietary restrictions that require careful meal planning. With a little help, many seniors can continue enjoying nutritious meals that support their health and well-being. How Non-Medical Home Care Companies Help with Meal Prep1. Meal Planning and Grocery AssistanceCaregivers can help plan meals that are both nutritious and tailored to individual preferences and dietary needs. Whether following a doctors recommendations or simply planning favorite family recipes, caregivers help seniors feel involved and in control. They can also assist with creating shopping lists and even accompany the senior to the store or coordinate grocery delivery.2. Safe Meal PreparationFrom chopping vegetables to using the stove, many kitchen tasks can pose risks for older adults. Caregivers take care of the preparationwashing, slicing, cooking, and plating mealsensuring everything is handled safely and hygienically.3. Accommodating Special DietsWhether a senior needs a low-sodium, diabetic-friendly, soft, or heart-healthy diet, caregivers can prepare meals that follow those guidelines. This attention to detail helps seniors stay healthy while still enjoying their food.4. Encouraging Regular Eating HabitsSkipping meals or snacking instead of eating real meals is common among seniors. Caregivers gently remind and encourage clients to eat at regular times, promoting better nutrition and preventing unintended weight loss or blood sugar fluctuations.5. Companionship During MealsMealtimes can be lonely for seniors who live alone, often leading to a loss of appetite. Caregivers can provide companionship at the table, turning meals into a more social and enjoyable experience.6. Light CleanupAfter the meal, caregivers help with light kitchen cleanupwashing dishes, wiping counters, and putting leftovers away. This ensures a clean and safe space, and takes a burden off the seniors shoulders. Supporting Independence and DignityNon-medical home care companies empower seniors to remain in their homes while receiving the help they need to stay nourished and healthy. Care is always respectful and centered around the individualensuring that seniors continue to feel independent, heard, and valued.
Understanding Dementia and Its ChallengesDementia is not a specific disease but a general term for a decline in cognitive function severe enough to interfere with daily life. Alzheimers disease is the most common form, but there are many others, including vascular dementia and Lewy body dementia. Symptoms vary, but often include memory loss, confusion, difficulty communicating, mood changes, and trouble with daily tasks.Because dementia is progressive, care needs increase over time. While medical treatment can help manage symptoms, consistent daily support is crucialand thats where non-medical home care can make a significant difference. How Non-Medical Home Care Companies Help with Dementia Care1. Creating a Familiar and Safe EnvironmentRemaining in the comfort of home can help reduce confusion and anxiety for someone with dementia. Caregivers help maintain a structured, familiar environment, which is essential for individuals who may become disoriented or overwhelmed by changes.2. Assistance with Daily ActivitiesDementia can make simple taskslike bathing, dressing, eating, and groomingdifficult. Caregivers provide gentle, respectful assistance, promoting independence while ensuring safety and dignity.3. Establishing RoutinesConsistency is key for dementia care. Home care providers help establish daily routines for meals, hygiene, rest, and activities. This structure reduces confusion and can help minimize agitation or behavioral issues.4. Providing Mental and Social StimulationEngagement is vital for slowing cognitive decline. Caregivers interact with clients through meaningful conversation, music, puzzles, memory games, or simply looking through old photos. These interactions offer emotional comfort and help keep the mind active.5. Managing Behavioral ChangesDementia can lead to behaviors like wandering, aggression, or agitation. Trained caregivers are equipped with techniques to respond calmly and effectively, helping to de-escalate situations and create a soothing atmosphere.6. Ensuring SafetyFrom installing safety locks to guiding a client away from hazards, caregivers are trained to prevent accidents and reduce the risk of wandering. Their presence provides an added layer of security for both the client and their family.7. Supporting Family CaregiversCaring for someone with dementia is emotionally and physically demanding. Non-medical home care companies offer respite caregiving family members time to rest, recharge, or tend to personal matters while knowing their loved one is in good hands.
What Is End-of-Life Care?End-of-life care focuses on enhancing comfort and quality of life during the final stages of a terminal illness or advanced aging. While hospice care handles the medical aspectssuch as pain management and symptom controlnon-medical home care provides essential daily support that allows individuals to remain in a familiar and loving environment, surrounded by those who matter most. How Non-Medical Home Care Companies Can Help1. Providing Comfort and Daily AssistanceAt the end of life, everyday tasks often become too difficult to manage alone. Caregivers offer gentle assistance with personal hygiene, toileting, dressing, repositioning, and feedingensuring the person remains clean, comfortable, and dignified.2. Companionship and Emotional SupportCaregivers provide more than physical helpthey offer a calm, reassuring presence. Whether sitting quietly by the bedside, reading aloud, or simply holding a hand, caregivers create meaningful moments of connection and ease emotional distress for both the individual and their family.3. Supporting the FamilyEnd-of-life situations are emotionally and physically exhausting for family caregivers. Non-medical home care companies step in to provide respitegiving family members time to rest, recharge, or tend to their own well-being, knowing their loved one is in compassionate hands.4. Creating a Peaceful EnvironmentCaregivers help maintain a soothing, calm atmosphere at home. This may involve keeping the room clean, adjusting lighting, playing soft music, or offering warm blanketsall small gestures that enhance comfort during the final days or weeks of life.5. Assisting with Meal Preparation and FeedingWhen eating is still possible, caregivers prepare soft, nutritious meals or comfort foods tailored to the persons preferences. For those who can no longer eat, caregivers provide mouth care and hydration support to reduce discomfort.6. Maintaining Dignity and RespectAbove all, non-medical caregivers treat each client with unwavering dignity and respect. They recognize the importance of personal values, cultural traditions, and spiritual beliefs, ensuring care aligns with what matters most to the individual and their family. Partnering with Hospice and Healthcare Providers Non-medical home care companies often work in tandem with hospice teams, nurses, and social workers. Together, they create a comprehensive circle of care. While hospice addresses medical needs, caregivers focus on practical and emotional supportmaking the home a safe, nurturing place to say goodbye.
Welcome to SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne Compassionate, Reliable, and Award-Winning Home CareCare That Moves You ForwardLife is always moving forward, and at SYNERGY HomeCare, we are committed to ensuring that you or your loved ones can move forward confidently, comfortably, and with the care needed to thrive. Whether its personal assistance, companionship, live-in care, or end-of-life comfort, we provide the extra support that makes all the difference. Our compassionate caregivers are here to enhance independence, dignity, and well-being.Call us today to explore the home care solutions that best fit your needs: 251-621-1900Why Choose SYNERGY HomeCare?Award-Winning Home CareSYNERGY HomeCare has been nationally recognized for outstanding client care, earning top rankings from Home Care Pulse, an independent satisfaction research firm. We are proud to set the standard in home care excellence.Flexible, Personalized CareOn Your TermsNo long-term contractsservices adapt to your changing needs.Available 24/7, from a few hours a day to full-time care.Caregivers matched based on personality, skills, and preferences.Immediate caregiver placement available based on your needs.Fully licensed, insured, and bonded caregivers for your peace of mind.Common Questions AnsweredCan I choose my caregiver and meet them in advance?Yes! We arrange meet-and-greet sessions so you feel comfortable with your caregiver. If you ever wish to change caregivers, we will accommodate your request until youre completely satisfied.Why should I choose SYNERGY HomeCare instead of hiring a private caregiver?Hiring privately makes you an employer, responsible for payroll taxes, insurance, and background checks. With SYNERGY HomeCare, we handle all of this for you, ensuring reliable coverage and peace of mindno missed shifts, no legal worries, just exceptional care.What services do you offer?We provide a comprehensive range of non-medical home care services, including:Personal Assistance (bathing, dressing, hygiene, mobility support)Companionship & Social EngagementAlzheimers & Dementia CareMeal Preparation & Feeding AssistanceMedication RemindersLight Housekeeping & LaundryErrands & Grocery ShoppingTransportation to AppointmentsExercise & Healthy Living SupportCare Coordination with Hospitals, Home Health, and Hospice24/7 Care & Family Respite SupportVeteransWe Honor Your Service with Exceptional Home CareAt SYNERGY HomeCare, we are honored to serve Veterans and their families. Many of our locations are VA-approved providers, making it easy to access home care benefits through the Veterans Affairs (VA) programs.How VA Benefits Can Help Cover Home CareIf you or your spouse need assistance with daily activities, memory care, or support for disability or illness, your VA benefits may help cover home care services. Eligible programs include:Homemaker and Home Health Aide Program Personal care services for eligible Veterans.Aid and Attendance Pension Additional financial assistance for Veterans, spouses, and surviving spouses.Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers (PCAFC) Support for family caregivers, including respite care and stipends.Veteran-Directed Care (VDC) A self-directed care program for Veterans to choose their caregivers and manage their care.Let us help you navigate your VA benefits and access the home care services you deserve.Reliable, Flexible CareWhen You Need ItWhether you need companionship, assistance with daily tasks, or full-time care, SYNERGY HomeCare is here for you. We provide full support for fuller lives so you can live with dignity, independence, and confidence. Call us today for a FREE in-home assessment: 251-621-1900SYNERGY HomeCare Compassionate Care That Moves You Forward.