Anger, Resentment, and Guilt: The Inter-Connected Emotions of Family Caregiving

Author

SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne

For more information about the author, click to view their website: SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne

Posted on

Jun 13, 2024

Book/Edition

Alabama - Gulf Coast

share-this
Share This

Anger, Resentment, and Guilt: The Inter-Connected Emotions of Family Caregiving

Being a family caregiver is an emotional roller coaster. On the one hand, it feels good to care for someone you love. On the other hand, it can be stressful, time-consuming, and draining. This can lead to a set of interconnected emotions – namely anger, resentment, and guilt.

Anger

Anger often comes from a sense of obligation or being taken for granted. Caregivers can feel as though they’re stuck with the biggest workload because they’re the oldest sibling, they’re closest to the one receiving care, or they are the most responsible.

From the outside looking in, it’s hard for someone else to understand the time and effort you’re putting in, and that can trigger anger in a caregiver. Caregivers want to know, and hear, that they are appreciated and doing a good job.

Resentment

Feeling resentment is similar to feeling anger, but not quite the same.

Psychologists label the feeling as “the re-experiencing of past wrongdoings, real or perceived,” a feeling that you’re stuck serving the person, indefinitely, and that’s causing your anger and discontent with the caregiving responsibilities.

This means resentment is often aimed at the person you’re caring for. This can happen as your loved one’s aging process or illness creates more responsibilities for you and makes you take on an additional role on top of your everyday life.

Guilt

Guilt is a particularly draining emotion. It typically comes after noticing feelings of anger and resentment. Once you reflect on your emotions and begin to feel bad that you’ve developed hostile feelings towards a loved one, guilt is the next logical response.

It can also be a primary driver of caregiver stress and burnout, as many family caregivers feel guilty for needing a break or not being able to do more for a loved one.

These feelings of guilt can be related to many things, such as:

               Feeling you are not spending enough time caring for your parent(s)

               Feeling like you’re not spending enough time with your kids because you are caring for your parent(s)

               Feeling that your spouse might be the last person you think about.

               Not taking care of yourself, missing a workout or being unfocused at work.

You can also feel guilty about not having your parents move in with you or leaving your parents in a house they can no longer manage. And sometimes, you might even feel guilt thinking that your life would be easier if your parent(s) died.

 

How to Manage These Emotions

1. Better understand the disease process of your loved one. This can help you develop the appropriate engagement style and communication patterns to reduce the likelihood of getting angry or resentful.

2. Assess your ability to provide the level of care your loved one needs:

               Are you physically able to care for this person?

               Are you emotionally able to care for this person?

               Is there an appropriate environment in which to provide the level of care that is required?

3. Make a plan to provide the appropriate level of care. This will reduce your stress level because you will feel more in control.

Be sure to tap into a local care manager to understand the local services and support that can be incorporated into your care plan, such as medical transportation, prescription delivery, Meals on Wheels and respite care from a home care agency such as SYNERGY HomeCare.

4. Make peace that this will be an emotional time for your entire family. There’s no shame in seeking professional counseling to support you through this life-changing process.

Dr. Macie P. Smith is a licensed gerontology social worker who is focused on helping families support their aging loved ones through long-term care.

SYNERGY HomeCare offers no obligation home assessments.  Call Synergy HomeCare serving Mobile & Baldwin Counties in Alabama at 251-621-1900 to talk to a Home Care specialist.

Other Articles You May Like

Home for the Holidays: Making Senior Spaces Merry and Bright

As the holiday season approaches, many of us begin to embrace the spirit of joy and togetherness. For seniors, this time of year can evoke a special blend of nostalgia and excitement, providing an opportunity to create new memories with loved ones. However, the stress of clutter can overshadow the joy of the holidays. At A Call to Order Professional Organizer, we believe that a serene environment not only enhances well-being but also fosters connection with family and friends. In this blog, well explore effective ways to declutter senior spaces, ensuring that their homes radiate warmth and love during this festive season.Decluttering: A Gift of JoyDecluttering can often seem like a daunting task, especially for seniors who may have accumulated items over the years that carry sentimental value. Yet, creating an organized space doesnt have to be overwhelming. Instead, think of it as a gift that promotes a joyful atmosphere. Tip 1: Start Small and Focus on SentimentalityBegin the decluttering process by encouraging seniors to focus on one area at a time. It could be a specific room, a closet, or even a single drawer. The key is to keep the experience manageable and non-stressful. A good practice is to ask them to sort items into three categories: keep, donate, and discard.When it comes to sentimental items, its important to approach them with care. Suggest they take photographs of items that hold memories instead of keeping every single piece. This way, they can cherish the memories without physical clutter. Setting aside a memories box for truly cherished items can also provide a sense of connection to the past while keeping their environment open and welcoming.Tip 2: Enlist HelpDont hesitate to involve family members in this process. The holidays are all about togetherness, and tackling this task as a family can create new memories while lightening the load. Each family member can take responsibility for specific areas, making the decluttering process enjoyable. Don't forget treats and encouragement to maintain a festive mood!Creating a Welcoming AtmosphereOnce the decluttering is underway, its time to enhance the space for the holiday season. A peaceful and organized environment can significantly improve the seniors mood and overall well-being. Tip 3: Seasonal Decor with HeartIncorporate decorations that evoke joy and warmth. Encourage seniors to choose decorations that hold special meaning for them. This can include handmade ornaments or family heirlooms. A simple touch like a festive tablecloth or hanging twinkling lights can instantly convert a room into a cheerful gathering space without overwhelming them with excess decorations.Additionally, consider the sensory elements of the home. Scents can profoundly influence emotions, so adding a holiday-themed scented candle or simmering potpourri can ignite nostalgic feelings while creating a sense of warmth. Tip 4: Create a Cozy Gathering SpaceThe heart of the home truly shines during the holidays, so lets make sure theres a cozy, inviting space for family and friends to gather. This could be a living room, dining area, or even a cozy corner with comfy chairs and warm blankets. Arrange seating to encourage conversation and connection. A well-organized space will help reduce anxiety and allow everyone to relax and enjoy each others company. If possible, gently advocate for the rearranging of furniture to create an open layout that accommodates guests and fosters a spirit of togetherness.Embracing the Holiday SpiritThe holiday season is a time for love and connection, and nothing creates a more welcoming atmosphere than an organized, clutter-free space. By embracing decluttering as a joyful gift and creating a warm ambiance, we empower seniors to celebrate the holidays in a way that fills their hearts with peace and joy.At A Call to Order Professional Organizer, we understand that the joy of the season can be overshadowed by the anxieties of clutter. With thoughtful guidance and strategies, we can help support seniors in their journey toward a merry and bright holiday experience. Lets work together to make this holiday season one to remember for seniors and their families, creating an environment where precious memories can flourish.Remember, the essence of the holidays lies not in perfection but in love, connection, and shared moments. Here's to making every home a special place during this season of joy!

Declutter with Joy: Preparing Senior Homes for a Peaceful Holiday Season

As the holiday season approaches, many families are excited about the festivities, gatherings, and the warmth that comes from celebrating with loved ones. However, for seniors, the holidays can sometimes evoke a different sentiment, especially when their homes are cluttered and overwhelming. At A Call to Order, we believe that decluttering not only creates a more organized space but also cultivates joy and comfort during this special time. In this blog, well discuss how decluttering can transform senior homes into serene sanctuaries, offering a few tips on how to embark on this rewarding journey.The Emotional Weight of ClutterIts no secret that clutter can induce feelings of stress and anxiety. For seniors, this burden can become significantly heavier. Aging can bring about physical limitations, mood fluctuations, and even feelings of loss or nostalgia. The accumulation of belongings, once cherished, can start to serve as a reminder of whats gone. The transition from cluttered environments to clean spaces not only visually uplifts homes but can also enhance emotional well-being. Decluttering before the holidays not only prepares a space for festivities but also creates an inviting environment for family gatherings. Imagine a peaceful home where your loved one can enjoy the laughter and joy of shared moments without the distraction of clutter. Thats the magic of creating a comfortable space. Tip 1: Embrace Memories, Let Go of ExcessWhen embarking on the decluttering journey, its essential to approach it with sensitivity and empathy. Start by setting aside time to sort through belongings, emphasizing the emotional significance of each piece. A great way to engage your loved one in this process is to invite them to share stories about the items theyve kept. This can be a wonderful bonding experience and can also help them to understand which items truly hold value for them. Actionable Steps:Create Categories: Designate separate areas for items to keep, donate, and discard.Use the One-Year Rule: If your loved one hasnt used or enjoyed an item in the past year, it may be time to let it go.Utilize Memory Boxes: Encourage them to keep a small box for particularly cherished items this helps preserve memories while still reducing clutter.Simplify Spaces for a Stress-Free HolidayOnce the tough decisions about what to keep have been made, its time to create a simplified living space thats easy to navigate and joyful to inhabit. A clean, organized home can significantly lighten the holiday load, allowing everyone to focus on what truly matters: creating memories with family. Tip 2: Optimize Storage and Layout for ComfortAfter decluttering, its essential to think about the layout of furniture and storage solutions. A well-organized, open space enhances movement and reduces hazards. Consider these steps to optimize their environment in a way that ensures safety and ease of access.Actionable Steps:Furniture Arrangement: Arrange furniture to facilitate conversation and movement. Create cozy corners for relaxation, ensuring pathways are clear.Accessible Storage Solutions: Use bins, baskets, or labels to store items neatly. Place frequently used items within easy reach to foster independence and comfort.Holiday Spirit Decor: Once the clutter is cleared, add some holiday touches. Whether its a simple wreath or a collection of family photos, personal touches can bring warmth and joy.The Emotional PayoffAs you embark on this journey of decluttering with your senior loved ones, remember that the emotional payoff can be profound. Clearing their homes of clutter can lead to renewed energy and enthusiasm for the holiday season, allowing them to focus on what truly matters family, love, and connection. A serene environment sets the stage for memorable family gatherings, enhancing the holidays in a deeply meaningful way.At A Call to Order, we are passionate about helping seniors create spaces that reflect joy and ease. Decluttering may initially seem like a daunting task, but with the right approacha sprinkle of love and patienceit can transform into a fulfilling experience. As we gear up for this joyful season, lets ensure that our senior loved ones feel comforted and treasured in their homes. With every item sorted, we pave the way for a warm and peaceful holiday season filled with laughter, love, and cherished moments. Lets celebrate the magic of the holidays by creating a home that invites joy! If you need assistance in your decluttering journey or would like a helping hand, dont hesitate to reach out. Together, we can embrace the spirit of the season while creating space for comfort and connection. Happy holidays from all of us at A Call to Order!

Where Can Family Caregivers Get More Support?

Family caregivers can quickly find themselves overwhelmed and need more support than they have available. Home care can offer that support. Some family caregivers have a ton of support from family and friends. Unfortunately, thats not the case for everyone. Family caregivers who dont get the support they need can quickly feel overwhelmed and overloaded. Caregiving brings with it a lot of responsibilities and demands on top of the ones that exist with daily life alone. Home care services offer the support that family caregivers need to offer the best care possible to the seniors they love.   Family Caregiving Challenges First, it helps to understand the types of challenges that seniors and family caregivers face. So many family caregivers juggle many different roles, which leaves little or no time for them to care for themselves. There is a big emotional toll in caregiving, too. Watching a beloved family members life and circumstances change dramatically can lead to depression, anxiety, and other emotional issues. Caregivers worry a lot about their seniors, too, which adds up over time. If seniors experience mobility challenges or other needs that require more physical effort, family caregivers can experience serious physical demands, too.   Respite Care One of the solutions that can help immediately is for family caregivers to take respite time. This occurs when home care providers step in for a few hours so that family caregivers can step away to take care of other needs. Professional home care providers can handle a variety of different situations, allowing family caregivers to feel confident that everything will be okay while they are gone.   Emotional Support Both family caregivers and seniors experience some big emotional challenges related to caregiving. It can be tough for seniors to acknowledge that theyre experiencing big changes that require them to need additional help. For family caregivers, there is a lot of stress related to wanting to do the right thing. Home care providers understand and offer emotional support to everyone involved. They also spend time with seniors, offering companionship that makes a true difference.   Delegating Responsibilities It can be complicated for family caregivers to let go of some of their responsibilities, even when theyre feeling overwhelmed. Home care providers make it easy for family caregivers to delegate and pass along some of their responsibilities. Home care services can help with light housekeeping tasks, transportation, meal preparation, and so much more.   Benefiting the Entire Family Integrating home care assistance into caregiving routines helps families find more balance. They can focus on the issues that truly matter rather than worrying about how theyre going to get everything done. Seniors get personalized attention, and family caregivers feel more confident in their own abilities.   Home care services offer critical support for family caregivers and seniors. Professional caregivers reduce the workload for family caregivers while making sure seniors are both comfortable and safe. This allows family caregivers to have a much different experience with family caregiving than they might have had up to this point. Being able to focus on self-care gives family caregivers the space they need to fully show up for beloved family members.    If you or an aging loved one are considering Home Care in Denver, CO, please contact the caring staff at Talem Home Care & Placement Services today. Call (720) 789-8529 At Talem Home Care of Broomfield, we provide passionate, understanding, and flexible caregivers in Broomfield, Arvada, Aurora, Boulder, Brighton, Commerce City, Denver, Erie, Firestone, Lafayette, Lakewood, Longmont, Louisville, Northglenn, Sherrelwood, Thornton, Welby, Westminster, Wheat Ridge and surrounding areas in Colorado.

Local Services By This Author

SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne

Non-Medical 1048 Stanton Rd Ste D, Daphne, Alabama, 36526

Welcome to SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne: Up to 24-hour home careCARE THAT MOVES YOULife moves in one direction forward. No matter what each persons circumstances are, SYNERGY HomeCare steps in with effective, comforting, life-affirming care that moves people, and their loved ones, emotionally and physically forward. From personal assistance and companionship to live-in and end-of-life comfort care, we provide the extra help needed to propel everyone safely and confidently to their fullest potential.HOME CARE YOU WANTWe offer a variety of care services from elder companionship to Alzheimers care.WHEN YOU NEED ITWhether its companionship or transportation or 24/7 memory care for a loved one with Alzheimers, SYNERGY HomeCare offers specialized and personalized care.HOW YOU EXPECT ITWe offer the top-notch care you expect by hiring and training quality caregivers. Weve also expanded our service areas to better support our community.Call us for a consultation.  We are compassionate and caring.Care Management and Respite Care for family membersPersonal Assistance (Bathing/Showering, Dressing, Personal Hygiene, etc.)Alzheimer's/Memory Care/Specialized CareMeal Preparation/Mealtime AssistanceMobility Assistance/Fall Risk MitigationLight HousekeepingCompanionship/Errands/Grocery ShoppingDoctor's Appointments and TransportationExercise and Healthy LivingSupport 24/7Coordination of Care with Hospitals, Home Health and HospiceMedication RemindersSo much more...We offer full support for fuller lives!  Call us today for a FREE in-home assessment.