SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne

Are you one of the Sandwich Generation that is faced with the biggest juggling act of their lives? In addition to caring for their spouses, children, careers and own selves, theyve taken on caring for their aging, often disabled, parents. Whether the parents are living with their adult children or their children are helping them in their own homes, the struggle is real. To give their best to their family, career and parents, they have to also give their best to themselves.How to Care for EveryoneCaregiving is not a static process where you identify a concern, find a solution, solve the problem and be done. The reality is that you will face ebbs and flows and its important to be prepared for the long term by anticipating changes that come along with aging. The Big Juggling ActMary Ellen Gornick, a work-life innovator for Fortune1000 companies who has spent more than three decades in the eldercare industry, sums up the challenges of the Sandwich Generation: Being a parent in todays society is challenging in itself. Along with school and the pressure to succeed there, our kids are constantly on the go from one activity to the next. And we all recognize how hard it is to keep work at work and not bring it home. Now add in having to care for Mom or Dad and juggle the myriad of needs they have depending on where they are in the aging process. If the Sandwich Generation caregiver doesnt take care of themselves, the stress will quickly increase and family, work and the relationship with Mom and Dad will suffer. We just cant let that happen.Quality TimeSpending quality time with family is everything. From going on a vacation to running errands together, the time that you spend with your family is important and to be cherished. For family caregivers, making the time to connect with one another may not be attainable as youd like and its common to feel a disconnect with your children or partner when much of your responsibilities are elsewhere. With this juggling of responsibilities, the time that you spend on yourself and your own health can dwindle. In a study done to measure the effects of family caregiving, only 15% of surveyed family caregivers reported that they had very much time for themselves, while 26% reported having somewhat time. Not being able to care for your mental health may impact your relationships with those you love and enjoy. The study also found that adults caring for their aging parents long-term were considerably less happy in their marriages when compared to those who had only recently become family caregivers.Balance Through  EngagementThe good news is that it is possible to create a sense of balance between your duties as a family caregiver and a parent and/or spouse/partner. In order to connect the two areas of your life, involve your children in caregiving in some capacity. Not only does helping out with caregiving allow your children to bond on a deeper level with their grandparents, but it also permits them to gain a sense of responsibility and maturity.Your Relationship  Gornick shared that adult siblings, spouses and partners can also join the caregiving team. Too many assume that Sandwich Generation caregiving implies just one person, but the concept of family caregiving is important, she said. Sharing the care either physically, emotionally or financially can make a big difference in ensuring that one person does not burn out.Alignment with Mom and DadWhen the adult children and aging adults are aligned with the reality of the situation and in agreement about how to handle it, it is much easier to put resources in place, Gornick said. If not, that is where the stress and difficulty come into play. If the child wants to get help and the aging adult is in denial about the situation, conflict may arise, making it extremely challenging to move forward.Guilt, the Four-Letter WordWe see two big barriers to not getting help, she said. There is guilt on the part of the Sandwich Generation caregiver who often wants to do more to assist and feels like if they dont, they will have failed. And then Mom or Dad doesnt want to let go of their independence or accept their vulnerability. They dont want to be a burden. Both parties have key emotional issues that have to be addressed in order to move forward with accepting the help that is available.Your CareerAs a family caregiver who is also balancing a job, it can be easy to become overwhelmed with the different responsibilities that are placed in your path. For a member of the Sandwich Generation, who is likely working full time and may even be at a high point in their career, the stress of caring for an aging loved one may begin to affect performance at work. For many people, what we do for a living can be an integral part of our identity as well as our livelihood, so coming to terms with life changes that can impact our feelings of employment and financial security can be incredibly stressful and lead to high levels of anxiety, said Gornick. She pointed out those who constantly feel under pressure at work, have a short fuse, cant focus or notice their work is slipping should consider asking for help.Taking Care of YourselfTaking care of your mental and physical health is key to living a balanced life. With that said, it is easy for family caregivers to focus their time and energy on caring for others rather than themselves. However, making the time to indulge in your own needs does not equate to selfishness. When it comes to caregiving it is crucial to find the time for yourself and your own needs. Its important to be aware of how caregiving can lead to imbalance in key areas of your life so you are better equipped to respond and regain balance.Emotional ImpactDepression: While being there around the clock for your kids, aging loved ones and your job, you may find yourself experiencing new emotions. Within minutes you can go from feeling accomplished in your actions and efforts to feeling discouraged. As a family caregiver, youre met with new challenges every day and you may feel as though you cant keep up.Anxiety and Stress: Anxiety is one of the most common psychological impacts for family caregivers. Many describe experiencing feelings of frustration, helplessness, anger or even guilt. Feelings of guilt are often prevalent as many family caregivers do not believe that their actions are adequate to take on the responsibility of caring for an aging loved one. Physical Health: You may be aware of the mental strain of caregiving, but its also important to take note of the physical impact such stress can cause.  Take the time to treat your health with care. Try to fit in some exercise where you can, make regular appointments with your doctor, and give yourself some respite care when your mind and body are feeling overworked.What to Do:Join a local support group for family caregiversAsk for helpOrganize your lifeKnow what resources are availableTake time for yourselfTake care of your health. It is easy to forget about our own health when we are so focused on someone elses. Schedule regular check-ups and screenings with your doctor or dentist to make sure you are staying healthy. Your family needs youall of them!Aging is inevitable. Being unprepared is not. As a family caregiver in the Sandwich Generation, you should have several goals:Be a great parent to your childrenBe a great spouse or partnerKeep your career on trackExtend your parent's independence while allowing yourself the joy of being their son or daughterAnd finally, you want to have a balanced life, one where you are happy.If you identify as being in the Sandwich Generation, when reading this blog, you probably nodded your head in agreement a few times. The subtext is to not be afraid or reticent to ask for help, as a little bit of help today will help you tremendously down the road in this marathon.If you can imagine removing one thing youre responsible for each day to make your life less stressful, what would it be? What if someone else picked up the kids from school, got them snacks or took them to their extracurricular activities? Maybe even started preparing dinner? Or took your mom to her doctors appointment? Or the kids are off school for the day but you have to work?When our daily routines fluctuate, especially when the unexpected happens, it can be stressful. Consider having a caregiver for a few hours each day to take care of that one thing youd like to remove from your daily responsibilities. Having a caregiver you can count on each day to remove stress from your lifeits like buying stock in yourselfyoure investing your health and future. As previously mentioned, Caregiving is not a static process where you identify a concern, find a solution, solve the problem and be done. The reality is that you will face ebbs and flows and its important to be prepared for the long term by anticipating changes that come along with aging.Having a caregiver for a few hours a day is a safety net that will help you and your family ride the ebb and flow of living in the Sandwich Generation. Call SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne for a no-obligation home assessment at (251) 621-1900.

Understanding Your VA Home Care BenefitsIf you or your loved one needs assistance with activities of daily living such as dressing, bathing, eating or mobility, has dementia, or needs support for a disability or chronic illness, you may be eligible for benefits provided by the VA.In many cases, veterans are eligible for more than one program.Learn About Your VA Home Care Benefit OptionsNot all veterans have access to the same benefits, however. Youll need to inquire about what programs youre specifically eligible for in order to make sure you take the path thats best for you.The VA website (VA.gov) provides information on the various benefits and how to determine if you are eligible. Look through these descriptions and get a general understanding of what you might be eligible for. Am I eligible for VA Aid and Attendance or Housebound benefits? Learn more. Am I eligible for VA Community Care benefits? Learn more. Am I eligible for VA Homemaker and Home Health Aide Care benefits? Learn more. Go to the VA ClinicThe first step to receiving your VA Home Care benefits is to register at your local VA clinic. Tell the VA doctor your reason for visiting and what youre trying to accomplish. Even though you only need to spend a small amount of time at the VA clinic to get the information you want, its still best to develop a personal relationship with at least one doctor there. Stay in touch and keep them up to date with your current situation.Find a home care provider that is contracted with the VA.Once you understand exactly what services youre eligible for, you will need to find an in-network home care provider. SYNERGY HomeCare is a good option, because: The majority of our agencies are contracted with the VA. Many of those locations are in close proximity to a military base or installation. A number of SYNERGY HomeCare franchises are also owned and operated by veterans themselves, who are eager to serve those who served. Homemaker and Home Health Aide BenefitThis benefit is available to veterans who require personal care services and assistance with activities of daily living. SYNERGY HomeCare and other organizations that are part of the Community Care Network (CCN), a network of VA-approved providers, are responsible for providing veterans with this type of care. This benefit also covers short-term respite care and assists veterans with activities of daily living.Homemaker/Home Health Aide benefit can be combined with Aid and Attendance. Only available to Veterans, not to spouses.Veteran-Directed Care (VDC)This VA program gives veterans the freedom to manage their own care by hiring caregivers and allowing them to age in place. Also, 30 days of respite care is available each year. Eligibility depends on the veterans health status and specific needs.Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers (PCAFC)The VA now supports the family caregivers of eligible veterans with this inclusive program. Each veteran is allowed to have one primary caregiver receive a stipend for their care services in addition to 30 days of respite care each year. These family caregivers must be family members or live with the veteran full-time to be considered for this benefit. You must apply for this program to be considered.Aid and Attendance PensionThis benefit is paid to eligible veterans, their spouses, or surviving spouses as an added payment to a veterans basic pension. The Aid and Attendance pension can be used for home care services, including personal care, memory care, and support for disability and illness.Housebound PensionThe Housebound Pension is another benefit paid to eligible veterans who receive a VA pension and spend the majority of their time at home due to a permanent disability. Housebound Pension covers personal care, memory care, and support for disability and illness. Aid and Attendance and Housebound Pension may not be used simultaneously. However, both of these benefits do offer spousal and surviving spouse options. Home care has quickly become the fastest-growing means for supporting people with age-related conditions. As a veteran, you may be entitled to home care services that can enhance your quality of life. At SYNERGY HomeCare, we are dedicated to delivering exceptional in-home care services to veterans and their families. Talk to a SYNERGY HomeCare representative today. We are honored to serve you.___________For more information on caring for a veteran, download SYNERGY HomeCares free Veterans Care Magazine.  Contact SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne for a free assessment and more information. We serve Baldwin, Escambia and Mobile Counties in Alabama.  Contact SYNERGY of Daphne at 251-621-1900.

Tips for Keeping Seniors Safe in the Heat: Water, Water EverywhereSeniors are more at risk for dehydration in general because they have a lower fluid content and a decreased thirst response. So the trick to staying hydrated, especially when its really hot, is to drink plenty of water, even when you dont feel thirsty.Many medications can cause dehydration, such as beta-blockers and diuretics prescribed for people with high blood pressure. Some allergy or anxiety medications trick our bodies into not sweating and as a result, we dont FEEL hot so we dont drink water.Its critical to understand how a seniors medications are affected by the heat. Read the drug insert, research it online or consult with a physician.Staying hydrated can prevent dizziness that often accompanies dehydration and since dizziness can increase the risk of falls, drinking lots of water can reduce the likelihood of a fall-related injury.Tips for Keeping Seniors Safe in the Heat: How to Stay CoolAvoid being outside during the hottest part of the day.Wear breathable, loose-fitting clothing like cotton or linen.Seek air-conditioned places. If your home doesnt have AC, visit a local cooling station, the library, a recreation center, a senior center or a mall. Local Area Agencies on Aging can connect seniors with rides.Close windows and curtains to block out sun and heat during the day.Drink plenty of fluids but avoid alcohol and caffeine.Take a cool shower, bath, or sponge bath. Keep a cool washcloth on the back of the neck.The CDC recommends using electric fans only when the temperature is below the high 90s. Any hotter and AC or a cool shower works better at cooling.Limit your oven useIf your house is hot, try to spend time during mid-day at a facility that has air conditioning such as the library, a senior center, a friends house or a movie. Tips for Keeping Seniors Safe in the Heat: Managing MedicationsAs we age, we often become more sensitive to medications and high heat can make it worse.Medications for high blood pressure like beta-blockers and diuretics can make some people dehydrated, which can be exacerbated by high heat.Some allergy or anxiety medications trick our bodies into not feeling overheated which can lead to dehydration or heatstroke.If someone you know is taking medications like these, its important to check on them regularly when its hot. Make sure they are taking the appropriate dose, staying hydrated and staying out of the heat.This article was submitted by Synergy HOMECARE in Daphne, AL and can be reached at 251-621-1900.

The holiday season is upon us, and if youre like me, Im sure youre looking forward to in-person celebrations and gatherings. This is something to be especially thankful for after two years of social distancing.All this together time is great for re-connecting as well as getting up to speed with how your aging loved ones are faring. Its also an opportunity to take note of any concerning physical or cognitive declines. Of course, our older family members might not come right out and tell us about any decline in health as they fear they may lose their independence. Thats why I recommend engaging them in casual conversation that takes into consideration their feelings.  Here are five main areas to assess: Activities of daily living. Can they pass the peas at the dinner table? Im somewhat joking here, but if it appears that your loved one has lost a lot of strength or dexterity that makes a simple task difficult, there may be some physical decline. Other things to inquire about could be the last time they got their hair cut. Take note of their appearance: Are their clothes clean? Do they match? Are they bathing? If it appears that they have lost some weight, ask them what they have been eating lately. This can tell you if they are having trouble with food shopping or cooking. A noticeable loss of weight is a definite cause for concern, as it could indicate an underlying health condition.The home environment.  If you are visiting their home for the holidays, check to see if the home is more cluttered than usual. This could be a sign they are having trouble keeping up with housekeeping. You can also check the refrigerator and cabinets to get a sense of how well they are eating. Additionally, take a look at the expiration dates on the medicine bottles and appropriately discard any expired medicationsprescription as well as over the counter ones. Throw away any expired food items, too. Memory. A great way to assess memory is by engaging in a conversation about current events you know this family member would typically be following. It could be the weather, sports, entertainment or politics. If they dont elaborate on their responses to your questions, they may be protecting themselves from being found out that they are experiencing some memory loss. You can also ask what they did earlier in the day or a few days ago to see if they are having trouble putting together a sequence of events. Mobility. Take note of how they move about the house. Are they grabbing onto furniture to steady themselves? Do you notice any bruising which may indicate a recent fall? Go on a walk with them to see if they tire easily or seem unbalanced. In addition, look at their car for any dings or scratches.  Social engagements. Isolation is often a gateway to depression, which can negatively impact memory or activities of daily living. Ask about friends they are in touch with either in person or on the phone, as well as any regular activities or recent outings. Are there activities they have stopped doing? Are there things they wish they could do but dont have a companion or a ride?If you notice any concerning changes, its important to act now, before a crisis presents itself. Consult with your siblings and other family members to see if they have noticed similar behaviors. If so, the next step is to make an appointment with the loved ones primary care physician to rule out any emergent health conditions.The good news is that the growing desire to age in place means that more and more people are turning to in-home care for that extra assistance. Whether a loved one needs a companion to help them stay active, more personal care such as assistance showering, or full-time support for a chronic condition, SYNERGY Home Care can help. Dr. Macie P. Smith is a licensed gerontology social worker who is focused on helping families support their aging loved ones through long-term care. Specifically, Dr. Smith educates caregivers on how to care for seniors with dementia. She is an advocate for specialized care and assists others in finding a way to provide a better quality of life for individuals with Alzheimers or dementia. Dr. Smith has dedicated over 22 years of her life working in gerontology and assisting families in finding personalized solutions for dementia care. For more articles by Dr. Macie Smith, go to https://synergyhomecare.com/blog/.This article was submitted by SYNERGY Home Care of Daphne, Alabama.  You can reach them at 251-621-1900

Anger, Resentment, and Guilt: The Inter-Connected Emotions of Family CaregivingBeing a family caregiver is an emotional roller coaster. On the one hand, it feels good to care for someone you love. On the other hand, it can be stressful, time-consuming, and draining. This can lead to a set of interconnected emotions namely anger, resentment, and guilt.AngerAnger often comes from a sense of obligation or being taken for granted. Caregivers can feel as though theyre stuck with the biggest workload because theyre the oldest sibling, theyre closest to the one receiving care, or they are the most responsible.From the outside looking in, its hard for someone else to understand the time and effort youre putting in, and that can trigger anger in a caregiver. Caregivers want to know, and hear, that they are appreciated and doing a good job.ResentmentFeeling resentment is similar to feeling anger, but not quite the same.Psychologists label the feeling as the re-experiencing of past wrongdoings, real or perceived, a feeling that youre stuck serving the person, indefinitely, and thats causing your anger and discontent with the caregiving responsibilities.This means resentment is often aimed at the person youre caring for. This can happen as your loved ones aging process or illness creates more responsibilities for you and makes you take on an additional role on top of your everyday life.GuiltGuilt is a particularly draining emotion. It typically comes after noticing feelings of anger and resentment. Once you reflect on your emotions and begin to feel bad that youve developed hostile feelings towards a loved one, guilt is the next logical response.It can also be a primary driver of caregiver stress and burnout, as many family caregivers feel guilty for needing a break or not being able to do more for a loved one.These feelings of guilt can be related to many things, such as:               Feeling you are not spending enough time caring for your parent(s)               Feeling like youre not spending enough time with your kids because you are caring for your parent(s)               Feeling that your spouse might be the last person you think about.               Not taking care of yourself, missing a workout or being unfocused at work.You can also feel guilty about not having your parents move in with you or leaving your parents in a house they can no longer manage. And sometimes, you might even feel guilt thinking that your life would be easier if your parent(s) died.  How to Manage These Emotions1. Better understand the disease process of your loved one. This can help you develop the appropriate engagement style and communication patterns to reduce the likelihood of getting angry or resentful.2. Assess your ability to provide the level of care your loved one needs:               Are you physically able to care for this person?               Are you emotionally able to care for this person?               Is there an appropriate environment in which to provide the level of care that is required?3. Make a plan to provide the appropriate level of care. This will reduce your stress level because you will feel more in control.Be sure to tap into a local care manager to understand the local services and support that can be incorporated into your care plan, such as medical transportation, prescription delivery, Meals on Wheels and respite care from a home care agency such as SYNERGY HomeCare.4. Make peace that this will be an emotional time for your entire family. Theres no shame in seeking professional counseling to support you through this life-changing process.Dr. Macie P. Smith is a licensed gerontology social worker who is focused on helping families support their aging loved ones through long-term care. SYNERGY HomeCare offers no obligation home assessments.  Call Synergy HomeCare serving Mobile & Baldwin Counties in Alabama at 251-621-1900 to talk to a Home Care specialist.

Stress-Free Holidays: Essential Tips for Family Caregivers Here you are, a caregiver on call 24/7 for someone you love, and suddenly its holiday time. You start thinking about inviting relatives, ordering the turkey, and getting out the holiday decorations. But wait a minute. Before your holiday autopilot kicks in, step back and look at where you are. The first thing you have to acknowledge is that things are different now, says Barbara Abramowitz, Massachusetts-based psychotherapist and herself a longtime caregiver. Maybe its time to rethink the holidays. Dont be bound by traditions. Give yourself permission to change things up. It can be liberating. We get caught up in expectations and what other people are going to think of us, Abramowitz told me. Be bold. Ask yourself, What do I want to keep, and what do I want to let go of? Give yourself time to think about whats really important about the holidays. Do You Have to Deck the Halls?Maybe you dont have to decorate every square inch of your home this year. Martha Shapiro, director of programs for Senior Concerns, which supports seniors and family caregivers in Southern California, says, Think outside the box. Dont be bound by traditions. Give yourself permission to change things up this holiday season. It can be liberating. That big family gathering? How about paring down the guest list this year? (Aunt Helen will just have to understand.) Pare down the menu, too. (Do you absolutely have to have mashed potatoes as well as sweet potatoes?) Bring in food from a good supermarket or a favorite restaurant, or make it a potluck this time; its a good way to give those reluctant siblings some way to help you out. One family moved to Chanukah in May when the airports would be less congested and the weather would be better. Even if the holiday meal has always been at your house, this might be the year to ask another family member to host. Easiest of all, if it works for your budget (or your sisters budget), hold the dinner at a hotel. The holiday decor, the giant buffet not to say the prep and the cleanup are all on them. Time-Shifting and Place-Shifting TipsWho says that everything has to be done in December? Send New Years greetings instead of the usual holiday cards in January. No one loves traveling on the holidays. One family moved to Chanukah in May when the airports would be less congested and the weather would be better. You can even move or extend the holiday itself. If its tough to get everyone to the same place on the same day, consider visiting with your person a day before or after. Beth Williams, who directed programs for the Alzheimers Association in nineteen counties in Georgia and is a former professor of gerontology, has counseled countless caregivers on how to manage the holidays. If (the person you care for) has lost the concept of time, she says, just celebrate. So Christmas could be December 24 or December 26. Think of it as a holiday helper you get to extend the holiday over more than one day, it takes some pressure off and you still get to celebrate. You could try place-shifting as well. One Massachusetts family ditched December in New Jersey, which was hard for the extended family to get to, opting instead for a July celebration in Rhode Island. Or go virtual. Covid taught us how to do all kinds of family get-togethers over Zoom. Many senior care facilities have tech folks who can help. Or ask one of the grandkids to go to Nanas place and set up the holiday Zoom call. Dont Forget the Comfort and Joy for YourselfNo question that youre under stress as a caregiver. Everyone keeps telling you to make time for self-care, but its harder now than ever. So sneak it in. Seriously. Breathe. Or stare at the sky or your garden and reconnect with your senses and soul. According to Abramowitz, The respite doesnt have to be in big chunks. It can be in the moment. Pause in the transitions between activities. In the car, take a moment before heading to your destination. Breathe. Take time between appointments. Breathe. Or stare at the sky or your garden and reconnect with your senses and soul. Breathe. While shopping for gifts at the mall, find a coffee shop, sit down and treat yourself to one of those only-at-the-holidays specialty drinks. And when you go to the Post Office to mail off the presents, look at the revolving gift card kiosk. Theyve got cards from retailers and restaurants, movie theaters, online stores and more. Prices can be as low as $10 or $20. Treat Yourself to Your Holiday GiftFor delayed gratification, book a massage for January or February (check out local massage franchises, health clubs, spas and massage schools). You deserve it. Dr. Karen Midyet, a clinical psychologist in Fort Collins, Colorado, whose coaching practice includes many older caregivers, knows how critical self-care is. I tell them, hire somebody to come in so you can leave for a few hours. Sometimes, she adds, you can just do something as simple as sitting outside in the sun for one minute, taking a short walk with the dog. A short walk is better than no walk. For some extra help during the holidays, Shapiro suggests looking into the senior centers in your area (search on senior centers near me and adult day care near me). Many of them offer unique programs and caregiver support groups during holiday times. Several states offer free respite care services. Check out the Family Caregiver Alliance for details on respite programs, state by state. The National Adult Day Services Association has an interactive Find a Center map for daycare facilities nationwide. Respite care for veterans and their caregivers is also available through the US Department of Veterans Affairs. All Dad Wants For Christmas is YouYour first impulse may be to bring Mom or Dad home for a family gathering. But if your person is in a care facility, Shapiro points out, it may be more detrimental to bring them to your house and bring them back. For a lot of people with dementia, the back-and-forth causes stress. Big gatherings and blinking Christmas lights may also be overwhelming. So bring a quiet celebration to them or join in whatever holiday event the care facility offers. Bring your persons favorite holiday food, get a stack of holiday cards to look through, show photos of the family in their red-and-green elf caps, or FaceTime with the grandchildren. If you want your person to enjoy the holiday, it has to be meaningful to them. If you want your person to enjoy the holiday, it has to be meaningful to them, says Williams. Keep the tradition of celebrating; just shift the focus. If youre taking Mom to someones party, consider what she needs. Have a quick meal, Williams advises. Just stay for an hour. The key, says Shapiro, is to plan. Set things up for success. If youre going to someones house, make sure there is a chair they can get in and out of, a quiet room they can retreat to. You need to find a way to make it comfortable and realistic. If your loved one has dementia, they can still engage in reminiscing. Use that to your advantage, she says. When the family gets together, ask what was the favorite part of this holiday for each of us. Have an intergenerational table and design questions so the older people can impart their memories. Shapiro adds, With dementia you have to slow everybody down. Tell them that after dinner, were all going to sit on a couch and listen to some stories. Holidays often involve religious observances, but extended services and large crowds may not work this year. Do you have to go to church for the big gathering? Williams asks caregivers. Try Saturday evening instead. You could call Father So-and-so and ask, Can we come as a small group, and could you give us a sermon and Communion?' Jim Sherblom, a social impact investor and former Unitarian Universalist minister in Brookline, Massachusetts, encouraged innovative ways to mark the holidays. Especially if it was difficult for his congregants to get to church, he would invite them over to his house, and they would walk together in the nearby woods. These days many religious groups live stream their services. All Dad wanted for Christmas was church, one caregiver told me. So we watched the holiday service on his iPad, and it worked just fine. Ask your person what theyd like to do for the holidays it may surprise you. Leave day-to-day activities behind, put on your fancy clothes (or that once-a-year Christmas sweater), and share some moments. Focus on that. Stick to whats doable and enjoyable for you and meaningful for your person. Reminiscing may be the best way to enrich your persons day. Play the music that moves them, says Williams. Maybe its just the same five oldies. Thats okay. Run old family movies on a loop. Or maybe its playing a game together, laughing, watching a football game. Holidays are an opportunity to create new rituals, Abramowitz reminds us. We get to remake the holidays. We get to create what we want. You never know this could be the last holiday with your person. Take a lot of photos, says Shapiro, adding, take mental photos. Say to yourself, I will capture this and remember this moment. Whatever you create, whether you trim the tree or trim down the festivities, the holidays are still a unique time to build new memories and savor the simple joy of being with people you love. Writer: Connie Baher This article originally published on nextavenue.org___________ SYNERGY HomeCare offers no obligation home assessments. Contact Synergy HomeCare of Daphne at 251-621-1900 to learn how we can provide additional support to you and your loved ones.

Support for Spouses of Cancer Patients: Insights from a Five-Time Survivors WifeWritten by Kim Potts. The spouse or partner, providing support for spouses of cancer patients, holds one of the most crucial and challenging roles on the cancer care team. As I have been dealing with my husbands cancer for 21 of our 32 years of marriage, I have a lot of experience in this role. I still get emotional when I hear the words five-time cancer survivor said about my husband Bill. Five is a significant number and instantly reminds me of the challenges we have faced and will face in the future. Here are some things I can share based on my experience.What NOT To AskMy heart ached as I listened to our friends ask Bill questions and provide unsolicited comments or advice about his cancer. For example: What are your odds? This question is the absolute worst question to ask a cancer patient, as the odds dont count. Bills response to that question was always 100%. It was 100% that he would either live or die. You will beat it because of your positive attitude. Bill and I have watched many cancer patients with great attitudes die, rendering this comment inaccurate.Let me tell you about my cancer! Bill needs to focus only on his cancer, not someone elses cancer. Bill, you will beat the cancer. Bill knew there was no guarantee he would survive. Recommending a doctor or treatment center without being asked. The patient should be trusted to make the right decision. Bill appreciates advice when he asks for it but unsolicited advice only creates angst. Safety FirstAs a cold, flu, or COVID can kill him during and after treatment, one of my roles has been to be the gatekeeper ensuring anyone who visited Bill was healthy. Patient safety is paramount. Those conversations had to happen any time someone came to see Bill. Before I let them in the door of our home, I had to ask how they were feeling. Bill often sat outside if a plumber or electrician needed to come to our house.Lead with LoveBill has also found great comfort in friends visits, calls and texts. He especially enjoys it when they call and ask him about the favorite meal he is craving then order it, pick it up and bring it over to eat with him! We both love visiting with friends and not talking about cancer. My spirits improve when I hear friends and family tell Bill, Bill, I love you. He then tells them he loves them back. This show of love has been magical for him. Bill finds the presence of family and friends comforting, even if nothing is said.  Self-Care is CriticalAs the burden of caring for a cancer patient is significant, you must take care of yourselfphysically, mentally and socially. I worried who would take care of Bill if I got sick, so I eat well, get enough sleep and exercise often. I spend time in devotion each evening. Through tennis and volunteering, I have a robust group of friends. All of this helps me better deal with the emotions of the cancer journey. But I realize now that I tried to do too much. I did not utilize outside resources like SYNERGY HomeCare to give me a break. I would have benefited greatly from some time away from caring for Bill, for someone else to care for Bill so I could care for myself. Even a half day off would have been remarkable. So, as a spouse, get all the support you need. Outside resources provide this support. Your partner needs you!Kim Potts is married to Bill Potts, the author of Up for the Fight: How to Advocate For Yourself as You Battle Cancer, from a Five-Time Survivor. Kim is a successful business owner, tennis player, mom and best friend to Bill. There is more on Kim and Bill at billcpotts.com. Contact SYNERGY Homecare of Daphne for more information and a free assessment at 251-621-1900.   They provide non-medical home care in Baldwin, Escambia and Mobile counties in Alabama.