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Support for Spouses of Cancer Patients: Insights from a
Five-Time Survivor’s Wife
Written by Kim Potts.
The spouse or partner, providing support for spouses of
cancer patients, holds one of the most crucial and challenging roles on the
cancer care team. As I have been dealing with my husband’s cancer for 21 of our
32 years of marriage, I have a lot of experience in this role. I still get
emotional when I hear the words “five-time cancer survivor” said about my
husband Bill. Five is a significant number and instantly reminds me of the
challenges we have faced and will face in the future.
Here are some things I can share based on my experience.
What NOT To Ask
My heart ached as I listened to our friends ask Bill
questions and provide unsolicited comments or advice about his cancer. For
example:
“What are your odds?” This
question is the absolute worst question to ask a cancer patient, as the odds
don’t count. Bill’s response to that question was always 100%. It was 100% that
he would either live or die.
“You will beat it because of
your positive attitude.” Bill and I have watched many cancer patients
with great attitudes die, rendering this comment inaccurate.
“Let me tell you about my
cancer!” Bill needs to focus only on his cancer, not someone else’s
cancer.
“Bill, you will beat the
cancer.” Bill knew there was no guarantee he would survive.
Recommending a doctor or
treatment center without being asked. The patient should be trusted to
make the right decision. Bill appreciates advice when he asks for it – but
unsolicited advice only creates angst.
Safety First
As a cold, flu, or COVID can kill him during and after
treatment, one of my roles has been to be the gatekeeper – ensuring anyone who
visited Bill was healthy. Patient safety is paramount. Those conversations had
to happen any time someone came to see Bill. Before I let them in the door of
our home, I had to ask how they were feeling. Bill often sat outside if a
plumber or electrician needed to come to our house.
Lead with Love
Bill has also found great comfort in friends’ visits, calls
and texts. He especially enjoys it when they call and ask him about the
favorite meal he is craving – then order it, pick it up and bring it over to
eat with him! We both love visiting with friends and not talking about cancer.
My spirits improve when I hear friends and family tell Bill, “Bill, I love
you.” He then tells them he loves them back. This show of love has been magical
for him. Bill finds the presence of family and friends comforting, even if
nothing is said.
As the burden of caring for a cancer patient is significant,
you must take care of yourself–physically, mentally and socially. I worried who
would take care of Bill if I got sick, so I eat well, get enough sleep and
exercise often. I spend time in devotion each evening. Through tennis and
volunteering, I have a robust group of friends. All of this helps me better
deal with the emotions of the cancer journey.
But I realize now that I tried to do too much. I did not
utilize outside resources like SYNERGY HomeCare to give me a break. I would have benefited
greatly from some time away from caring for Bill, for someone else to care for
Bill so I could care for myself. Even a half day off would have been
remarkable. So, as a spouse, get all the support you need. Outside resources
provide this support. Your partner needs you!
Kim Potts is married to Bill Potts, the author of “Up for
the Fight: How to Advocate For Yourself as You Battle Cancer, from a Five-Time
Survivor.” Kim is a successful business owner, tennis player, mom and best
friend to Bill. There is more on Kim and Bill at billcpotts.com.
Contact SYNERGY Homecare of Daphne for more information and a free assessment at 251-621-1900. They provide non-medical home care in Baldwin, Escambia and Mobile counties in Alabama.
Family caregivers can quickly find themselves overwhelmed and need more support than they have available. Home care can offer that support. Some family caregivers have a ton of support from family and friends. Unfortunately, thats not the case for everyone. Family caregivers who dont get the support they need can quickly feel overwhelmed and overloaded. Caregiving brings with it a lot of responsibilities and demands on top of the ones that exist with daily life alone. Home care services offer the support that family caregivers need to offer the best care possible to the seniors they love. Family Caregiving Challenges First, it helps to understand the types of challenges that seniors and family caregivers face. So many family caregivers juggle many different roles, which leaves little or no time for them to care for themselves. There is a big emotional toll in caregiving, too. Watching a beloved family members life and circumstances change dramatically can lead to depression, anxiety, and other emotional issues. Caregivers worry a lot about their seniors, too, which adds up over time. If seniors experience mobility challenges or other needs that require more physical effort, family caregivers can experience serious physical demands, too. Respite Care One of the solutions that can help immediately is for family caregivers to take respite time. This occurs when home care providers step in for a few hours so that family caregivers can step away to take care of other needs. Professional home care providers can handle a variety of different situations, allowing family caregivers to feel confident that everything will be okay while they are gone. Emotional Support Both family caregivers and seniors experience some big emotional challenges related to caregiving. It can be tough for seniors to acknowledge that theyre experiencing big changes that require them to need additional help. For family caregivers, there is a lot of stress related to wanting to do the right thing. Home care providers understand and offer emotional support to everyone involved. They also spend time with seniors, offering companionship that makes a true difference. Delegating Responsibilities It can be complicated for family caregivers to let go of some of their responsibilities, even when theyre feeling overwhelmed. Home care providers make it easy for family caregivers to delegate and pass along some of their responsibilities. Home care services can help with light housekeeping tasks, transportation, meal preparation, and so much more. Benefiting the Entire Family Integrating home care assistance into caregiving routines helps families find more balance. They can focus on the issues that truly matter rather than worrying about how theyre going to get everything done. Seniors get personalized attention, and family caregivers feel more confident in their own abilities. Home care services offer critical support for family caregivers and seniors. Professional caregivers reduce the workload for family caregivers while making sure seniors are both comfortable and safe. This allows family caregivers to have a much different experience with family caregiving than they might have had up to this point. Being able to focus on self-care gives family caregivers the space they need to fully show up for beloved family members. If you or an aging loved one are considering Home Care in Denver, CO, please contact the caring staff at Talem Home Care & Placement Services today. Call (720) 789-8529 At Talem Home Care of Broomfield, we provide passionate, understanding, and flexible caregivers in Broomfield, Arvada, Aurora, Boulder, Brighton, Commerce City, Denver, Erie, Firestone, Lafayette, Lakewood, Longmont, Louisville, Northglenn, Sherrelwood, Thornton, Welby, Westminster, Wheat Ridge and surrounding areas in Colorado.
In a world that is constantly evolving, the holiday season serves as a powerful reminder of the significance of human connection. For seniors, these connections offer profound emotional and psychological benefits. This discussion explores the joy of maintaining relationships, the challenges faced by older adults, and strategies to ensure their holidays are filled with a sense of belonging, remembrance, and shared experiences.The Importance of Connection for SeniorsEmotional and Psychological BenefitsHuman connection is essential throughout life, and its importance grows as individuals age. Seniors experience numerous benefits from social interaction, including improved mental health, better cognitive functioning, and a heightened sense of purpose. Meaningful relationships create a support network that can help alleviate feelings of isolation and depression, promoting overall well-being. Engaging with family and friends fosters a sense of belonging and self-worth, while participation in conversations and activities can enhance emotional stability and reduce the risk of cognitive decline.Loneliness During the HolidaysWhile the holiday season is often associated with joy and togetherness, it can also amplify feelings of loneliness for seniors. Many may face the loss of loved ones or find themselves separated from family due to distance. Such circumstances can heighten emotions of isolation, especially during a time when connection is most valued. The holidays can serve as poignant reminders of lost connections, intensifying nostalgia and grief.Challenges in Staying ConnectedSeveral obstacles can hinder seniors from maintaining connections during the holidays. Geographic distance can prevent reunions with family and friends, while health issues may limit mobility and travel options. Additionally, technological barriers can complicate digital communication, leaving some seniors feeling disconnected in an increasingly digital world.Emotional FactorsGrief and depression can significantly impact seniors desire to connect. The holiday season may magnify feelings of loss, making it difficult for individuals to engage in celebratory activities. Recognizing these emotional challenges is crucial for facilitating meaningful connections.The Role of CaregiversCaregivers play an essential role in supporting seniors during this time. By understanding the emotional hurdles that may arise, they can offer companionship and empathy. Caregivers can also assist with practical needs such as technology use, transportation arrangements, or organizing inclusive celebrations that accommodate health considerations.Practical Ways to ConnectIn-Person ConnectionsHoliday Visits: In-person gatherings bring warmth and meaning to seniors' lives.Shared Meals: Enjoying favorite holiday dishes together fosters conversation and bonding.Participatory Activities: Engaging in festive tasks like decorating or baking creates joy and involvement.Remote ConnectionsVideo Calls: These allow seniors to see loved ones faces, enhancing feelings of connection despite distance.Letter Writing: A heartfelt letter or card can convey emotions that transcend technology.Online Games: Simple games or trivia challenges provide fun interaction opportunities from afar.Adapting Holiday TraditionsTo include seniors in holiday traditions:Involve Them: Encourage their input in planning to shape traditions that suit their preferences.Modify Activities: Adapt events to accommodate mobility and energy levels.Storytelling: Invite seniors to share stories from their past to enrich the holiday experience.Technology as a BridgeUser-friendly technology options like smartphones and tablets can facilitate communication for seniors. Simplified apps designed for ease of use can enhance their ability to stay connected with loved ones. Teaching them how to use these technologies through patient instruction and hands-on demonstrations can help build their confidence.Navigating Emotional ChallengesSeniors may face various emotional difficulties during the holidays:Grief: The absence of loved ones can be particularly poignant during this time.Depression: Feelings of sadness may intensify due to health struggles or social isolation.Isolation: Distance from family combined with limited mobility can exacerbate loneliness.Supporting Emotional HealthEncouraging open communication allows seniors to express their feelings. Setting flexible expectations for participation in holiday activities helps reduce pressure. Engaging them in joyful activities enhances their experience during this festive season.Professional ResourcesIf needed, professional support such as therapy or counseling specializing in geriatric care can provide seniors with tools to navigate their emotions. Support groups offer community understanding for those dealing with grief or depression. Helplines are also available for immediate emotional support.As we navigate this holiday season together, let us remember that nurturing connections enriches the lives of seniors. Emphasizing compassion and care across generations reinforces our shared spirit of togetherness during this special time.
The Benefits and Services of Non-Medical In-Home CareAs our loved ones age or face health challenges, ensuring their well-being and independence becomes a priority. Non-medical in-home care offers a compassionate solution, providing personalized support in the comfort of home. Homecare Companions specializes in delivering this care, catering to a diverse range of needs with services designed to enhance quality of life and peace of mind.Who Benefits from Non-Medical In-Home Care?Non-medical in-home care is ideal for individuals facing health-related challenges, including: Aging parents who need assistance with daily activities. Those living with chronic or progressive conditions such as ALS, Parkinsons disease, or dementia. Individuals recovering from surgery or rehabilitation after a stroke. Patients with visual impairments, mobility issues, or an increased risk of falls. People navigating the complexities of end-of-life care due to diseases like cancer, heart disease, or COPD. Amputees and others adjusting to significant physical changes. Whether the goal is regaining independence or enhancing comfort during challenging times, in-home care provides tailored support for every unique situation. Core Services Provided by Homecare CompanionsHomecare Companions focus on non-medical services that improve clients daily lives. Key offerings include: Help with Activities of Daily Living (ADLs): Assistance with bathing, dressing, grooming, toileting, and incontinence care. Meal Preparation and Nutrition Support: Cooking, feeding assistance, and ensuring dietary needs are met. Light Housekeeping: Tasks such as laundry, cleaning, and maintaining a tidy home environment. Medication Reminders: Helping clients stay on track with their medication schedules. Transportation Services: Driving clients to medical appointments, grocery stores, or social outings. Companionship: Providing emotional support and reducing feelings of isolation through meaningful interactions. Mobility Support: Helping clients with mobility and transferring. End-of-Life Support: Offering compassionate care and emotional support for patients and families in hospice care. Enhanced Services and CustomizationHomecare Companions also offer additional services to suit individual needs, such as: Personalized Care Plans: Based on a complimentary in-home assessment, tailored care plans address the specific needs of each client. Collaboration with Other Care Providers: Coordinating with home health or hospice care teams to provide seamless, 24/7 support. Insurance Assistance: We are a fully insured, certified and bonded long-term care company. With an RN on staff we can accommodate almost all long term care insurance requirements. FAQs About Non-Medical In-Home Care1. How Much Does It Cost? The cost depends on the level of care, location, and frequency of visits. Contact Homecare Companions for a customized quote.2. Is It Covered by Insurance? Medicare typically doesnt cover non-medical in-home care, but many long-term care insurance policies do. Homecare Companions is certified to meet insurance requirements and can assist with claims.3. How Do I Find a Qualified Caregiver? Homecare Companions carefully vets each caregiver with background checks, reference verification, and training to ensure professionalism and trustworthiness.4. How Can I Arrange Services? Contact Homecare Companions at (251) 699-3441 to schedule a complimentary assessment and create a care plan tailored to your loved ones needs. The Benefits of Homecare CompanionsHaving a homecare companion brings numerous advantages, including: Promoting independence by assisting with daily tasks. Providing genuine companionship to combat loneliness. Reducing stress for families by offering peace of mind. Enhancing overall well-being in the familiarity of home. Whether supporting recovery, navigating chronic conditions, or ensuring comfort during end-of-life care, Homecare Companions are committed to delivering compassionate and comprehensive support. Serving Baldwin and Mobile counties. Contact Homecare Companions today at 251-699-3441 to learn more about how we can assist you and your family!
Welcome to SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne: Up to 24-hour home careCARE THAT MOVES YOULife moves in one direction forward. No matter what each persons circumstances are, SYNERGY HomeCare steps in with effective, comforting, life-affirming care that moves people, and their loved ones, emotionally and physically forward. From personal assistance and companionship to live-in and end-of-life comfort care, we provide the extra help needed to propel everyone safely and confidently to their fullest potential.HOME CARE YOU WANTWe offer a variety of care services from elder companionship to Alzheimers care.WHEN YOU NEED ITWhether its companionship or transportation or 24/7 memory care for a loved one with Alzheimers, SYNERGY HomeCare offers specialized and personalized care.HOW YOU EXPECT ITWe offer the top-notch care you expect by hiring and training quality caregivers. Weve also expanded our service areas to better support our community.Call us for a consultation. We are compassionate and caring.Care Management and Respite Care for family membersPersonal Assistance (Bathing/Showering, Dressing, Personal Hygiene, etc.)Alzheimer's/Memory Care/Specialized CareMeal Preparation/Mealtime AssistanceMobility Assistance/Fall Risk MitigationLight HousekeepingCompanionship/Errands/Grocery ShoppingDoctor's Appointments and TransportationExercise and Healthy LivingSupport 24/7Coordination of Care with Hospitals, Home Health and HospiceMedication RemindersSo much more...We offer full support for fuller lives! Call us today for a FREE in-home assessment.