Caring for Myself While Caring for My Aging Parents

Author

SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne

For more information about the author, click to view their website: SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne

Posted on

Jul 18, 2023

Book/Edition

Alabama - Gulf Coast

Are you one of the Sandwich Generation that is faced with the biggest juggling act of their lives? In addition to caring for their spouses, children, careers and own selves, they’ve taken on caring for their aging, often disabled, parents. Whether the parents are living with their adult children or their children are helping them in their own homes, the struggle is real. To give their best to their family, career and parents, they have to also give their best to themselves.

How to Care for Everyone

Caregiving is not a static process where you identify a concern, find a solution, solve the problem and be done. The reality is that you will face ebbs and flows and it’s important to be prepared for the long term by anticipating changes that come along with aging. 

The Big Juggling Act

Mary Ellen Gornick, a work-life innovator for Fortune1000 companies who has spent more than three decades in the eldercare industry, sums up the challenges of the Sandwich Generation: “Being a parent in today’s society is challenging in itself. Along with school and the pressure to succeed there, our kids are constantly on the go from one activity to the next. And we all recognize how hard it is to keep work at work and not bring it home. Now add in having to care for Mom or Dad and juggle the myriad of needs they have depending on where they are in the aging process. If the Sandwich Generation caregiver doesn’t take care of themselves, the stress will quickly increase and family, work and the relationship with Mom and Dad will suffer. We just can’t let that happen.”

Quality Time

Spending quality time with family is everything. From going on a vacation to running errands together, the time that you spend with your family is important and to be cherished. For family caregivers, making the time to connect with one another may not be attainable as you’d like and it’s common to feel a disconnect with your children or partner when much of your responsibilities are elsewhere. 

With this juggling of responsibilities, the time that you spend on yourself and your own health can dwindle. In a study done to measure the effects of family caregiving, only 15% of surveyed family caregivers reported that they had “very much” time for themselves, while 26% reported having “somewhat” time. Not being able to care for your mental health may impact your relationships with those you love and enjoy. The study also found that adults caring for their aging parents’ long-term were considerably less happy in their marriages when compared to those who had only recently become family caregivers.

Balance Through  Engagement

The good news is that it is possible to create a sense of balance between your duties as a family caregiver and a parent and/or spouse/partner. In order to connect the two areas of your life, involve your children in caregiving in some capacity. Not only does helping out with caregiving allow your children to bond on a deeper level with their grandparents, but it also permits them to gain a sense of responsibility and maturity.

Your Relationship  

Gornick shared that adult siblings, spouses and partners can also join the caregiving team. “Too many assume that Sandwich Generation caregiving implies just one person, but the concept of ‘family caregiving’ is important,” she said. “Sharing the care either physically, emotionally or financially can make a big difference in ensuring that one person does not burn out.

Alignment with Mom and Dad

“When the adult children and aging adults are aligned with the reality of the situation and in agreement about how to handle it, it is much easier to put resources in place,” Gornick said. “If not, that is where the stress and difficulty come into play. If the child wants to get help and the aging adult is in denial about the situation, conflict may arise, making it extremely challenging to move forward.”

Guilt, the Four-Letter Word

“We see two big barriers to not getting help,” she said. “There is guilt on the part of the Sandwich Generation caregiver who often wants to do more to assist and feels like if they don’t, they will have failed. And then Mom or Dad doesn’t want to let go of their independence or accept their vulnerability. They don’t want to be a burden. Both parties have key emotional issues that have to be addressed in order to move forward with accepting the help that is available.”

Your Career

As a family caregiver who is also balancing a job, it can be easy to become overwhelmed with the different responsibilities that are placed in your path. 

For a member of the Sandwich Generation, who is likely working full time and may even be at a high point in their career, the stress of caring for an aging loved one may begin to affect performance at work. “For many people, what we do for a living can be an integral part of our identity as well as our livelihood, so coming to terms with life changes that can impact our feelings of employment and financial security can be incredibly stressful and lead to high levels of anxiety,” said Gornick. She pointed out those who constantly feel under pressure at work, have a short fuse, can’t focus or notice their work is slipping should consider asking for help.

Taking Care of Yourself

Taking care of your mental and physical health is key to living a balanced life. With that said, it is easy for family caregivers to focus their time and energy on caring for others rather than themselves. However, making the time to indulge in your own needs does not equate to selfishness. 

When it comes to caregiving it is crucial to find the time for yourself and your own needs. It’s important to be aware of how caregiving can lead to imbalance in key areas of your life so you are better equipped to respond and regain balance.

Emotional Impact

Depression: While “being there” around the clock for your kids, aging loved ones and your job, you may find yourself experiencing new emotions. Within minutes you can go from feeling accomplished in your actions and efforts to feeling discouraged. As a family caregiver, you’re met with new challenges every day and you may feel as though you can’t keep up.

Anxiety and Stress: Anxiety is one of the most common psychological impacts for family caregivers. Many describe experiencing feelings of frustration, helplessness, anger or even guilt. Feelings of guilt are often prevalent as many family caregivers do not believe that their actions are adequate to take on the responsibility of caring for an aging loved one. 

Physical Health: You may be aware of the mental strain of caregiving, but it’s also important to take note of the physical impact such stress can cause.  Take the time to treat your health with care. Try to fit in some exercise where you can, make regular appointments with your doctor, and give yourself some respite care when your mind and body are feeling overworked.

What to Do:

  • Join a local support group for family caregivers
  • Ask for help
  • Organize your life
  • Know what resources are available
  • Take time for yourself

Take care of your health. It is easy to forget about our own health when we are so focused on someone else’s. Schedule regular check-ups and screenings with your doctor or dentist to make sure you are staying healthy. Your family needs you—all of them!

Aging is inevitable. Being unprepared is not. As a family caregiver in the Sandwich Generation, you should have several goals:

  • Be a great parent to your children
  • Be a great spouse or partner
  • Keep your career on track
  • Extend your parent's independence while allowing yourself the joy of being their son or daughter
  • And finally, you want to have a balanced life, one where you are happy.

If you identify as being in the Sandwich Generation, when reading this blog, you probably nodded your head in agreement a few times. The subtext is to not be afraid or reticent to ask for help, as a little bit of help today will help you tremendously down the road in this marathon.

If you can imagine removing one thing you’re responsible for each day to make your life less stressful, what would it be? What if someone else picked up the kids from school, got them snacks or took them to their extracurricular activities? Maybe even started preparing dinner? Or took your mom to her doctor’s appointment? Or the kids are off school for the day but you have to work?

When our daily routines fluctuate, especially when the unexpected happens, it can be stressful. Consider having a caregiver for a few hours each day to take care of “that one thing you’d like to remove” from your daily responsibilities. Having a caregiver you can count on each day to remove stress from your life—it’s like buying stock in yourself—you’re investing your health and future. 

As previously mentioned, “Caregiving is not a static process where you identify a concern, find a solution, solve the problem and be done. The reality is that you will face ebbs and flows and it’s important to be prepared for the long term by anticipating changes that come along with aging.”

Having a caregiver for a few hours a day is a safety net that will help you and your family ride the ebb and flow of living in the Sandwich Generation. Call SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne for a no-obligation home assessment at (251) 621-1900.

Other Articles You May Like

Navigating Senior Placement in Utah: A Trusted Guide for Families

As our loved ones age, finding the right care and living arrangements becomes a pressing concern. For many Utah families, the process of senior placement can feel overwhelmingfilled with emotional decisions, logistical challenges, and a rapidly changing healthcare landscape. Whether you're seeking assisted living, memory care, or skilled nursing, understanding your options and working with trusted professionals is essential to ensuring your loved one transitions safely and comfortably into the next phase of life.What Is Senior Placement?Senior placement refers to the process of helping older adults and their families identify and transition into the most appropriate living environment based on their health, preferences, and financial situation. This could include independent living, assisted living, memory care, or long-term skilled nursing.While some families go through the search alone, many rely on senior placement professionals or advisors to guide them through the maze of options. These experts assess the seniors needs and match them with communities or services that fit their medical, social, and financial criteria.Why Senior Placement Matters in UtahUtah has a growing population of older adults, and as demand rises, so do the number of available senior housing communities and care services. From Salt Lake City to St. George, the state offers a variety of optionsbut not all of them are the right fit for every individual.What makes senior placement in Utah especially important is the regional diversity of services and costs. Urban areas may offer more choices, while rural communities might require longer waitlists or travel distances. A knowledgeable senior placement professional can help families navigate these local differences, ensuring they find a safe and supportive environment without unnecessary stress.Key Factors to Consider in the Placement ProcessWhen beginning the senior placement journey in Utah, keep these considerations in mind:Level of care needed: Is your loved one still fairly independent, or are they living with complex medical needs or dementia? Location preferences: Do they want to remain close to family, or would they prefer a quieter community in a scenic part of Utah?Financial situation: What types of housing or care services are covered by insurance, Medicaid, or personal finances?Cultural or religious values: Utahs senior living communities vary in cultural offerings and affiliationsimportant factors for many families.Benefits of Using a Senior Placement ProfessionalEven if you have time to tour communities yourself, a senior placement specialist can save you time, money, and emotional energy. These professionals offer:In-depth knowledge of Utahs senior housing marketPersonalized recommendations based on care needsHelp coordinating tours and assessmentsInsight into availability, costs, and quality ratingsSupport with application and move-in logisticsBecause Seniors Blue Book is a neutral and trusted resource, we recommend that families educate themselves using local directories and free listings before making any decisions. A great place to begin is with our Utah Senior Resources Directory where you can browse services and support tailored to your region.You can also explore specific senior placement service providers in Utah here: Utah Senior Placement ServicesSupporting Informed, Compassionate DecisionsChoosing a senior care community or service is one of the most important decisions a family can make. With the right resources and local guidance, the senior placement process doesnt have to be overwhelming. Utah families can take comfort in knowing that they have access to a variety of support tools and professionals ready to help every step of the way. If youre beginning the journey or helping a loved one transition, start with trusted resources like SeniorsBlueBook.com to explore your options with confidence.

Navigating Senior Placement in Southwest Florida: A Guide for Families and Caregivers

Helping You Find the Right Senior Living SolutionFinding the right senior living arrangement can be overwhelmingespecially when time, emotions, and complex care needs are involved. Thats where Senior Placement services come in. These professionals help families in Southwest Florida navigate the options available for senior housing and care, ensuring a more personalized and informed decision-making process.In this blog, well explore what senior placement means, why it matters, and how you can leverage local resources in Southwest Florida to support a smooth transition for your loved one. What Is Senior Placement?Senior placement refers to the process of assisting older adults and their families in finding appropriate senior living or care arrangements. Placement specialists evaluate an individuals medical, emotional, financial, and lifestyle needs to recommend suitable housing options such as:Independent living communitiesAssisted living facilitiesMemory care residencesSkilled nursing centersResidential care homesThe ultimate goal is to match the individual with a community or care setting that meets their unique circumstances and supports long-term well-being. Why Senior Placement Services Matter in Southwest FloridaSouthwest Florida is one of the top destinations for retirees, known for its sunny climate, high quality of life, and range of senior living options. But with so many choices available, it can be hard to know where to begin.Senior placement professionals in this region offer valuable insights, including:In-depth knowledge of local communities and care providersAssistance understanding costs and payment optionsPersonalized recommendations based on care needsGuidance through tours, applications, and transitionsEmotional support for families during difficult decisionsFor families juggling caregiving responsibilities and lifes other demands, these services offer much-needed clarity and peace of mind. How Does the Senior Placement Process Work?While every placement service varies slightly, most follow a similar structure: Initial Consultation A placement advisor learns about your loved ones health conditions, care preferences, and budget. Assessment and Matching Based on the evaluation, a shortlist of communities or providers is developed. Community Tours Families are guided through tours of the most suitable options. Support with Transition Advisors may assist with paperwork, moving logistics, and ongoing support after placement. Its important to note that many senior placement services are offered at no cost to the family. Instead, these professionals are often compensated by the communities they partner with, though neutral directories like Seniors Blue Book help ensure transparency and choice. Choosing the Right Senior Placement Support in Southwest FloridaAs with any important decision, its critical to work with professionals who are experienced, compassionate, and unbiased. While some services work with only a few communities, others offer a broader range of options.When considering a senior placement specialist, ask:Are they familiar with communities across Southwest Florida?How do they determine which communities are a good fit?Do they consider both medical and social needs in their recommendations?Do they provide support beyond the initial placement?You can begin your search and find helpful tools through the Seniors Blue Books trusted local directory: Browse Senior Resources in Southwest Florida Explore Senior Placement Services Near You The Benefits of Local ExpertiseSenior placement professionals with experience in Southwest Florida bring deep knowledge of the areas resources, licensing standards, and unique living environments. They can provide guidance on everything from hurricane safety plans in senior communities to proximity to hospitals and family members.Final Thoughts: Empowering Better DecisionsNavigating senior living options doesnt have to be stressful. With the right guidance, families can find safe, supportive, and engaging environments that honor their loved ones dignity and preferences. If youre exploring senior placement in Southwest Florida, take the first step by browsing trusted, local resources and directories that can help simplify your searchwithout pressure or bias.

Navigating Senior Placement in Southern Colorado: A Local Guide for Families and Caregivers

Finding the right care setting for an aging loved one can be an emotional and overwhelming process. From understanding different care options to coordinating financial logistics and touring communities, its a lot to manageespecially when time is limited or the situation is urgent.Thats where senior placement services come in. In Southern Colorado, these services play a vital role in guiding families through the transition to senior living. Whether youre seeking assisted living, memory care, or independent living, knowing how to navigate senior placement can make all the difference. What Is Senior Placement?Senior placement refers to the process of helping older adults and their families find the right senior living community based on their individual care needs, preferences, lifestyle, and budget. Its not a one-size-fits-all approachinstead, its personalized guidance designed to ease the burden of decision-making and ensure a smooth transition.Senior placement professionals offer:In-depth needs assessmentsRecommendations for local communitiesCoordination of tours and interviewsSupport with paperwork and move-in planningGuidance on financial and long-term care optionsThese services are especially valuable during stressful times, such as hospital discharges or sudden health changes. Why Senior Placement Matters in Southern ColoradoSouthern Colorado is home to a growing senior population and a wide variety of senior living communities. From Pueblo to Canon City to the San Luis Valley, families in the region are increasingly seeking trusted, local resources to help them make informed care decisions.Heres why senior placement is particularly important in this region:1. Access to Local ExpertiseSenior placement professionals in Southern Colorado often have close relationships with local care communities and understand the unique services each one offers. This insider knowledge helps families avoid wasting time and ensures that their loved ones needs are matched with the right community.2. Navigating Rural and Urban OptionsSouthern Colorado includes both more rural areas and small cities. Senior placement services help families weigh the pros and cons of location, transportation access, and community amenities in different settings.3. Support for Out-of-Area FamiliesIf youre helping a loved one transition from afar, local placement services can act as your eyes and ears on the groundproviding honest assessments, virtual tours, and consistent communication throughout the process. Common Reasons Families Seek Senior Placement SupportA loved one can no longer live safely at home aloneA recent hospital stay requires a step-down care solutionDementia or chronic illness is progressingCaregivers are experiencing burnoutA move is needed, but the options feel overwhelmingWhether planned or unexpected, a placement advisor can provide peace of mind and practical help when its most needed. How to Start the Senior Placement Process in Southern ColoradoIf you're considering senior placement services in Southern Colorado, heres how to begin: Assess Your Needs Identify the type of care your loved one needsindependent living, assisted living, memory care, or skilled nursing. Browse Local Resources Explore the full directory of senior resources in the region: Southern Colorado Senior Resources Directory Connect with Local Advisors Search for trusted, neutral senior placement professionals who can help guide your next steps: Southern Colorado Senior Placement Listings Schedule Consultations and Tours Most senior placement services will help set up tours and even accompany you if needed. Be sure to visit more than one community to compare options.  Final Thoughts: Making Informed, Compassionate DecisionsChoosing a senior living community is one of the most important decisions a family can make. With the support of local senior placement experts in Southern Colorado, families can feel confident in their choices, reduce stress, and ensure their loved one finds a place where they can thrive. At Seniors Blue Book, were committed to providing neutral, informative, and comprehensive resources to help families navigate senior care options with clarity and confidence.

Local Services By This Author

SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne

Non-Medical 1048 Stanton Road, Suite D, Daphne, Alabama, 36526

Welcome to SYNERGY HomeCare of Daphne Compassionate, Reliable, and Award-Winning Home CareCare That Moves You ForwardLife is always moving forward, and at SYNERGY HomeCare, we are committed to ensuring that you or your loved ones can move forward confidently, comfortably, and with the care needed to thrive. Whether its personal assistance, companionship, live-in care, or end-of-life comfort, we provide the extra support that makes all the difference. Our compassionate caregivers are here to enhance independence, dignity, and well-being.Call us today to explore the home care solutions that best fit your needs: 251-621-1900Why Choose SYNERGY HomeCare?Award-Winning Home CareSYNERGY HomeCare has been nationally recognized for outstanding client care, earning top rankings from Home Care Pulse, an independent satisfaction research firm. We are proud to set the standard in home care excellence.Flexible, Personalized CareOn Your TermsNo long-term contractsservices adapt to your changing needs.Available 24/7, from a few hours a day to full-time care.Caregivers matched based on personality, skills, and preferences.Immediate caregiver placement available based on your needs.Fully licensed, insured, and bonded caregivers for your peace of mind.Common Questions AnsweredCan I choose my caregiver and meet them in advance?Yes! We arrange meet-and-greet sessions so you feel comfortable with your caregiver. If you ever wish to change caregivers, we will accommodate your request until youre completely satisfied.Why should I choose SYNERGY HomeCare instead of hiring a private caregiver?Hiring privately makes you an employer, responsible for payroll taxes, insurance, and background checks. With SYNERGY HomeCare, we handle all of this for you, ensuring reliable coverage and peace of mindno missed shifts, no legal worries, just exceptional care.What services do you offer?We provide a comprehensive range of non-medical home care services, including:Personal Assistance (bathing, dressing, hygiene, mobility support)Companionship & Social EngagementAlzheimers & Dementia CareMeal Preparation & Feeding AssistanceMedication RemindersLight Housekeeping & LaundryErrands & Grocery ShoppingTransportation to AppointmentsExercise & Healthy Living SupportCare Coordination with Hospitals, Home Health, and Hospice24/7 Care & Family Respite SupportVeteransWe Honor Your Service with Exceptional Home CareAt SYNERGY HomeCare, we are honored to serve Veterans and their families. Many of our locations are VA-approved providers, making it easy to access home care benefits through the Veterans Affairs (VA) programs.How VA Benefits Can Help Cover Home CareIf you or your spouse need assistance with daily activities, memory care, or support for disability or illness, your VA benefits may help cover home care services. Eligible programs include:Homemaker and Home Health Aide Program Personal care services for eligible Veterans.Aid and Attendance Pension Additional financial assistance for Veterans, spouses, and surviving spouses.Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers (PCAFC) Support for family caregivers, including respite care and stipends.Veteran-Directed Care (VDC) A self-directed care program for Veterans to choose their caregivers and manage their care.Let us help you navigate your VA benefits and access the home care services you deserve.Reliable, Flexible CareWhen You Need ItWhether you need companionship, assistance with daily tasks, or full-time care, SYNERGY HomeCare is here for you. We provide full support for fuller lives so you can live with dignity, independence, and confidence. Call us today for a FREE in-home assessment: 251-621-1900SYNERGY HomeCare Compassionate Care That Moves You Forward.