Escaping Loneliness in Retirement

Retirement is supposed to be an exciting time in your life. You’ve worked for years and are more ready than ever to relax — and you’ve earned it! So why are you feeling lonely? Loneliness in retirement is more common than you might realize. Fortunately, there is something you can do to combat loneliness and prevent it.

Read on for practical tips and insights to help you cope if you’re retired and lonely.

Is it Normal to Feel Lost When You Retire?

According to studies, 43% of adults in America over the age of 60 feel lonely. After you retire, your whole life changes as an older person. You suddenly have the time and freedom to do things that felt burdensome or overwhelming in the past. Even if you’ve been looking forward to and are excited about retiring, finding it difficult to adjust or feeling lost or uncertain is normal — and that can be lonely.

While it’s widespread, prolonged loneliness isn’t healthy. Understanding and addressing why you might be retired and lonely is part of healthy aging and is critical for your mental and physical well-being. Social isolation and loneliness can have a long-term impact, including an increased risk of dementia, heart disease, or stroke. 

Retirement can cause conflicting emotions, including feelings of: 

• Emptiness
• Relief
• Sadness
• Nostalgia 
• Uncertainty
• Loss
• Freedom 
• Confusion
• Guilt
• Anxiety
• Uneasiness 

These are all natural responses to the major life transition you’re going through. For most people, though, the hardest emotions are only temporary.

Why is Retirement So Lonely?

You might feel lonely after retiring for multiple reasons. Even if you’ve been looking forward to retirement for years — or decades — this time period, which you envisioned to be full of relaxation and freedom, can cause unexpected feelings. Rest assured, it’s normal to have a jarring sense of solitude, especially in the beginning. 

Transitioning away from a highly structured work life, where you interact with people daily, can leave you feeling isolated. Losing the routine, social connection, and regular engagement your career used to offer you is challenging. Understanding the root cause of loneliness in retirement is the first step in overcoming it. 

Loss of routine and reduced sense of purpose

After you retire, the routine that once gave you structure and purpose is suddenly disrupted. Your goals and activities are no longer an anchor, and even though you know that your life is changing, the reality of those changes can cause you to feel aimless and unsettled. 

“When your education and job has been tied to your career and purpose in life, your retirement can bring feelings of loss and insignificance. Our purpose was a motivator toward the achievement of goals, and in retirement we can lose our primary motivation. Feelings of confusion, depression, and loneliness can be a part of the adjustment process.”

– Talkspace therapist, Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Social isolation due to changes in social circles

For most people, work is a social place for interacting with colleagues, building friendships, meeting new people, and making work-related connections. Retiring can drastically shrink your social circle and make it harder to meet others. When it’s challenging to maintain old friendships or find new ones, you start feeling lonely.

Identity crisis

Your career was a central part of your identity. When it ends, figuring out how to redefine yourself can be incredibly daunting. An identity crisis can make you grapple with questions about your self-worth and purpose and cause you to feel a sense of disconnect. Navigating this life transition can mean needing to find new meaning in your life.

Geographical relocation

Many people relocate in retirement to downsize, move closer to family, or simply enjoy a new environment. Moving can be exciting and taxing all at the same time. Leaving your established networks and the familiarity of friends, routines, and community is difficult. Building new relationships in an unfamiliar place might feel even more impossible when you don’t have the social opportunities you once found at work.

Changes in family dynamics

Be prepared for a shift in family dynamics after you retire. You might spend more time at home or take on new roles, like caring for aging parents or your grandchildren. Changes like these can strain the family unit, especially if you feel underappreciated or overburdened by your new role. 

Another common experience is for new retirees to feel neglected or left out because younger family members are still so busy with their own lives and they don’t have as much free time as you do.

Inadequate community support

Not all communities have programs with social opportunities. Without accessible and engaging social activities, though, finding new ways to connect with people can be overwhelming. The lack of social engagement and support make it hard to combat isolation and loneliness.

Depression

There are several challenges associated with retirement that can lead to depression. Feeling depressed makes it harder to find energy to seek out social interactions or engage in activities — even the ones you once enjoyed. This repetitive cycle of isolation can leave you feeling more sad, hopeless, and lonely than ever.

How to Cope with Loneliness in Retirement

If you’re retired, bored, and lonely, there are several ways to overcome your feelings and create a fulfilling and enriching post-retirement life. 

Start by actively finding ways to connect with others, find personal growth, and engage with people and things you like to do. Over time, you can transform your retirement years into a period of renewed purpose and joy. The following coping tools will help you deal with loneliness in retirement.

Join social clubs and groups

Social clubs and groups are an excellent place to meet new people with similar interests. Whether you’re an avid reader and join a book club, or you love to work in the yard and find a local gardening group, consistent and regular opportunities for social interaction will be good for you.  

Volunteer your time

Research shows that volunteering is good for your mental health and a powerful way to manage loneliness. You can volunteer at a local charity, mentor young people, or participate in community events. Giving your time keeps you active and engaged — not to mention, it just feels good to know you’re helping others.

Stay connected with family and friends

Staying connected with friends and family is one of the easiest — and most effective — ways to deal with being retired and lonely. Keep relationships strong by communicating through phone calls, video chats, or in-person visits. Making the effort to be involved in your loved ones’ lives and inviting them to be part of yours can help keep loneliness at bay, especially if you’re going through a gray divorce.

“Many people will move closer to family or friends instead of traveling for infrequent holiday visits. During the retirement years, relationships become a priority, whereas in the past work life may have taken center stage. Moving to a community with opportunities to form caring bonds can be beneficial in retirement.”

  – Talkspace therapist, Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Adopt a pet

According to research, there’s a positive relationship between pet ownership and reduced social isolation. This means that people who own pets may have lower levels of loneliness. 

Pets offer companionship and unconditional love, which can be especially comforting if you’re retired with no friends in the area. Having a pet also gives you a sense of responsibility and lets you enjoy a routine again. 

“Pets can be very beneficial when experiencing loneliness after retirement. A pet can provide unconditional love and shower you with a feeling of being needed, appreciated, and valued. We may have felt valued and affirmed during our working years, and now our pets can let us know that we are still significant.”

  – Talkspace therapist, Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Rediscover old passions or pursue new hobbies

The working years are hectic, particularly when you’ve had decades of family and other obligations on top of a demanding work schedule. Now that you’re in retirement, it’s the ideal time to rediscover the things you once loved but just didn’t have time for. It’s also the perfect time to explore new passions, pursue new hobbies, or even just opt for self-care for seniors. 

Being creative keeps your mind active and your spirits high. Try painting, writing, playing an instrument, gardening, learning a new language, baking, or cooking to fill your time and reduce your loneliness.

Talk to a therapist

It might seem impossible to overcome loneliness, but talking to a therapist can help you address your feelings and move on. Therapy also lets you explore the emotional challenges you might be experiencing in retirement. 

Whether it’s identity loss, grief, or feeling like you don’t have a sense of purpose without your job, therapy can give you effective coping mechanisms to deal with your loneliness. It’s a safe space to express your thoughts and feelings, process your emotions in healthy ways, and develop a plan to feel more connected after retirement. Talkspace makes it simple to get help with online therapy covered by Medicare.

Participate in senior community activities

Your local community center probably offers activities and programs specifically for seniors. From fitness classes to cultural outings to game nights, participating in social events helps keep you physically and mentally active and allows you to meet others.  

Join a fitness class tailored for seniors

Multiple bodies of research have linked physical activity to improved mental health in seniors. Some studies suggest that when older people are physically active for just 4 weeks, they see improvements in anxiety, which can make it easier to engage in social settings and activities. 

Other research found similar results, noting that older adults who participated in a walking program saw a significant reduction in symptoms of depression. 

Travel the world

If you have the means and enjoy it, retirement can be a great time to travel. Exploring new places, cultures, and experiences lets you see the world from a different perspective. Traveling creates lasting memories and can reduce feelings of loneliness.

Take continuing education classes

Lifelong learning is good for more than just the mind and soul — besides the cognitive benefits and emotional health it offers, taking classes is a great way to stay engaged with others. 

Many educational institutions offer all types of classes for seniors, so you can explore subjects you’re interested in or gain new skills now that you have time. Whether you learn a new language, study art history, take a cooking class, or do anything else that interests you, continuing your education helps keep your mind sharp and offers one more opportunity for social interaction.

Finding Connection and Support with Talkspace

Even though being retired and lonely isn’t uncommon, it’s still an overlooked challenge that has a significant impact on emotional and mental well-being. Whether it’s the result of losing your routine, social isolation, or having an identity shift, loneliness during this time can overshadow the joy you should be feeling. That’s why it’s vital to recognize and address loneliness in retirement early on. Seeking professional help, like therapy, can be a viable — and valuable — step in managing and overcoming lonely feelings. 

Talkspace offers accessible, affordable mental healthcare with online options tailored to your needs as a retiree — and the best part is online therapy is covered by Medicare in many states, so you don’t even have to worry about how the added expense will affect your fixed income. 

You’ve worked your entire life to get here. You deserve to be happy and content with a rich, full life — Talkspace can help you do just that.