How Long Does Grief Last?

Author

Talkspace

Posted on

Jan 06, 2025

Book/Edition

Florida - Southwest

share-this
Share This

Grief is a complex process and emotion that affects us all in different ways. Understanding what to expect from a grief timeline can help you move through the process, but how long does grief last? It’s an important question to ask, and perhaps the most critical thing to understand about grief is that it has no single timeline.

The grieving process depends on factors like age, circumstances, and the nature of the loss — even culture can play a role. Keep reading as we explore the various aspects of grief, so you know exactly what to expect when mourning the death of a loved one or dealing with other challenging events in life.


The Non-Linear Timeline of Grief

Grief is unique for each person, so when trying to determine how long grieving lasts, keep in mind that there’s no one-size-fits-all grief timeline.

“Grieving is a unique experience and no one’s experience is the same. Similar emotions are felt at different points in the grieving cycle, but not in a pattern that can be predicted. This is normal and it’s perfectly acceptable. It’s important to allow emotions and thoughts to take place and work through them. There’s no set timeline of when grieving ends. In some sense, grief is never gone, but the severity of the grief diminishes over time.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Grief can come in waves or cycles, with moments of intense sadness followed by periods of relative calm. This non-linear timeline means that the grieving process may take longer than expected, and setbacks can be common.

Some people feel better after a few weeks or months following their loss, but others might feel stuck in a cycle of pain and sorrow for years afterward.

How Long Does Someone Usually Grieve for?

How long does grieving last on average? The length of time someone grieves will depend on you, your circumstances, and the type of significant loss you’ve experienced. On average, normal grief can last anywhere from 6 months to 2 years or more. Research shows that many people find their grief starts to improve within about 6 months after a loss.

Factors That Impact How You Process & Heal From Grief

Many factors influence how we experience and process grief. This knowledge can help us better cope with our emotions.

  • Duration: One of the most common questions people have after a loss is, “ how long does grief last ?” While there’s no definitive answer, generally speaking, it can take at least 6 months to begin to feel like you’re making progress in your healing journey.
  • Type of loss: The type of loss can impact how long you grieve and the type of grief you experience. When someone close to you passes away, or a relationship ends suddenly, it might take longer to heal than after a loss like losing a job or moving houses. Losing a parent, losing a spouse, or losing a child may result in a much longer grief timeline.
  • Intensity: The intensity of your grief can vary based on the depth of the relationship or the nature of the loss. Major life disruptions or significant emotional ties can make intense grief feel overwhelming and harder to manage. Acknowledging the intensity allows you to adjust your expectations for the healing process.
  • Triggers: Grief can often be reactivated by certain triggers, such as significant dates, places, or events that remind you of your loss. Understanding what triggers your grief can help you prepare emotionally for moments when these feelings may resurface.
  • Support system: Having an adequate support system around you as you grieve can be incredibly helpful in managing your emotions and helping you move through the stages of grief more quickly. This could include family members, close friends, or even professional counselors specializing in grief counseling.
  • Coping mechanisms: Different coping mechanisms work for different people when dealing with grief. For example, some people find comfort in talking about their feelings. Others may prefer activities like exercise or creative pursuits such as writing or painting. Experiment with different tools until you find something that works best for you.
  • Your circumstances: Life circumstances will affect how quickly (or slowly) your grieving process progresses. If other areas of your life are going well, navigating grief might be more manageable. However, when life is more complex, it can compound the stress of your grief.
  • Physical health: Lastly, physical health should always be considered when processing intense emotional states associated with grief. When you’re run down physically, your mental state can be even more taxing.

What to Expect From the Stages of Grief

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first identified the stages of grief in the late 1960s. She pinpointed five distinct stages of grief.

Denial

Denial is often the first stage of grief, where an individual refuses to accept the reality of a loss. They may deny any feelings associated with their loss or attempt to avoid thinking about it altogether. This stage can help you cope with the shock of what’s happened and provide you with time to adjust before moving on to other emotions.

Anger

Anger is a common emotion during grief. It can manifest in various forms, like blaming yourself or others for what has happened or feeling frustrated about being unable to change the situation. Finding healthy outlets is essential if your anger becomes something you’re struggling to manage.

Bargaining

Bargaining occurs when you try (often subconsciously) to negotiate a way out of emotional pain. For example, you might make deals with yourself ( If I do X then Y won’t happen ) or with your higher power ( Please let me have one more day ). While this behavior might temporarily relieve emotional distress, it’s usually short-lived. Bargaining ultimately can’t address the underlying issues that must be faced for healing to happen.

Depression

Depression might follow bargaining, but it doesn’t always have to. As you accept reality, you might still feel overwhelmed by your sadness. This can lead to deep despair and intense feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.

Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting what was lost, but instead it involves coming to terms with the absence and understanding how your daily life will continue. The acceptance stage might mean you’re having less intense emotions than you experienced during earlier phases. It allows you the space to heal emotionally and move forward again without feeling weighed down constantly by sadness and regret.

While these stages are commonly accepted as part of the grieving process, they may not necessarily occur in this order — or at all for some people. And for those who experienced an unexpected loss, they may have unresolved grief. Either way, grief is part of the healing process of moving on after losing a loved one.

Does Grieving Ever Stop?

Grieving never truly stops because our lives are forever changed when we lose someone we love. Over time, however, we can learn how to cope with our new reality. This allows us to start healing emotionally and can eventually lead us to acceptance. Of course, there will always be moments when you miss the person you lost.

“Grief is a complicated emotion and hard to truly define. However, it’s something that’s felt by just about every person. In that sense, grief doesn’t ever stop or go away. The pain of grief does lessen over time. The impact of the loss will always be there so the pain will always be there. It’s acknowledging that it exists and continuing to move forward with it.”

Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

How to Make Grief Easier to Cope with

Although there isn’t an exact timeline that answers how long should it take to grieve, there are some things you can do to make it easier to cope:

  • Allow yourself space and time – Give yourself permission, not only physically but mentally, to take breaks away from work/family commitments if needed. Give yourself plenty of space and quiet moments alone if you need them during your grief journey.
  • Take care of yourself – Make sure you take care of your physical needs. Eat healthy meals regularly and try to exercise daily — even a short walk can do wonders for your well-being. Do things that bring you joy. Read books, listen to music, be creative, and do anything you love. Doing small daily acts of self-care will help you slowly build resilience over time.
  • Seek help from professionals – Talking about your feelings with a therapist or counselor can be incredibly beneficial as you learn how to deal with grief. They can teach you effective grief therapy techniques that help you cope with the pain.

“There’s no quick tip or trick to hasten the grieving process, but there are ways to help a person cope with it and work through it in a healthy manner. Be sure to rely on your established grief support system, allow for the necessary emotions (even the ‘bad’ ones) to take purchase, and if it becomes too much, seek help, online or in person. Grief therapists specifically work with bereaved individuals struggling and can often lend insights and more coping skills to help.”

Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Grief can be an overwhelming and difficult emotion to process. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to get help through online grief counseling. Online therapy is a safe space that offers grief support and resources for navigating the grieving process. With professional guidance from Talkspace therapists specialized in bereavement, you can find relief from your sorrow and begin healing on your terms. Please don’t suffer alone — we’re here to help you navigate the grief process, no matter how long that takes.

Sources:

  1. Grief, bereavement, and coping with loss . PDQ Supportive and Palliative Care Editorial Board. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK66052/. Published October 18, 2022. Accessed December 21, 2022.

Talkspace articles are written by experienced mental health-wellness contributors; they are grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices. Articles are extensively reviewed by our team of clinical experts (therapists and psychiatrists of various specialties) to ensure content is accurate and on par with current industry standards.

Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.

Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.

Other Articles You May Like

Who We Serve

We provide housing for a wide range of individuals, ensuring secure and supportive living environments for those in need. Our goal is to offer comprehensive support, promoting stability, dignity, and community involvement for every person we serve.Displaced Adults We assist people who are experiencing displacement due to life transitions, natural disasters, or economic challenges. By offering secure housing options, we aim to provide stability and emotional support as they adjust to new circumstances in their lives. Our programs include personalized case management to help individuals regain self-sufficiency.Veterans We honor those who have served our country by offering targeted housing assistance for veterans. Our services support their honorable and respectful transition back to civilian life, ensuring they have the resources needed for long-term stability. We collaborate with veteran organizations to provide additional services such as counseling, job training, and access to healthcare.Senior Citizens Our housing options for seniors are designed to support their independence and well-being. We create environments that prioritize safety, comfort, and accessibility tailored to their unique needs. Our communities encourage social interaction, wellness programs, and access to medical services to ensure a high quality of life.(SSI/SSDI) Income Recipients We provide secure housing solutions for individuals receiving SSI/SSDI income. Our goal is to guarantee them stability and a secure living arrangement based on their guaranteed income. We offer budget counseling and community support programs to ensure financial wellness and social inclusion.Families in Need We extend our services to families facing housing challenges. Our family housing programs provide safe and nurturing environments for parents and children. We focus on holistic support, including access to educational resources, childcare services, and community-building activities to empower families towards self-sufficiency.Persons with Disabilities We offer specialized housing options for individuals with disabilities, ensuring accessibility and necessary support services. Our goal is to create inclusive environments that promote independence while ensuring necessary care and accommodations are readily available.Make an Inquiry! If you or someone you know needs housing assistance, contact us today to learn more about our services and how we can help. Our team is ready to assist with compassionate and personalized support, ensuring every individual has the opportunity for a stable and dignified living environment.

Ona Solutions: Transforming Lives Through Affordable Housing

About Us Welcome to Ona Solutions, where we specialize in providing housing for independent adults and assisting individuals in finding affordable housing options. Our dedicated team is committed to creating safe, supportive, and sustainable living environments that empower individuals to thrive. We operate with a foundation of compassion and a strong sense of community, working tirelessly to ensure everyone has access to a place they can call home. At Ona Solutions, we firmly believe that housing is a fundamental human right and strive to make this belief a reality for all.Mission At Ona Solutions, our mission is to transform lives by offering secure, affordable, and dignified housing solutions for independent adults and those seeking affordable living options. Our goal is to foster a supportive community where individuals can regain stability, independence, and hope. Through our dedicated efforts, we aim to address the housing deficit and ensure that every person we serve has the opportunity to lead a better, more fulfilling life.Vision Our vision at Ona Solutions is a world where affordable housing is accessible to all. We envision a society where everyone has a place to call home, enabling them to lead fulfilling and independent lives. By continuously innovating and advocating for sustainable housing solutions, we aspire to be a leader in creating lasting change and brighter futures for individuals and communities alike.Why Choose Ona Solutions?Commitment to Community: We prioritize creating a sense of belonging by fostering supportive and inclusive housing environments.Affordability: We are dedicated to providing cost-effective housing solutions to help individuals maintain financial stability.Sustainability: Our focus on sustainable practices ensures long-term housing security and positive environmental impact.Empowerment: We empower residents by offering resources and support systems that encourage personal growth and independence.Get Involved At Ona Solutions, we believe positive change happens when communities come together. Whether you are seeking affordable housing or want to support our mission, we welcome you to join our efforts in making housing accessible for all. Together, we can create a brighter future where everyone has a place to call home.

When Grief Doesn't Ease

Sometimes it feels as if your bereavement will never end. You feel as if youd give anything to have the pain go away; to have the long lonely hours between nightfall and dawn pass without heartache. You are not the only grieving person who has longed for some measure of relief.In the novel, My Sisters Keeper, author Jodi Picoult wrote, There should be a statute of limitations on grief. A rule book that says it is all right to wake up crying, but only for a month. That after 42 days you will no longer turn with your heart racing, certain you have heard her call out your name.No such rule book exists. Grief counselors and therapists tell us that the length of time it takes anyone to grieve the loss of someone they held dear to them is dependent on the situation, how attached you were to the deceased, how they died, your age and gender. So many variables exist and theres absolutely no way to predict how long it will take for you to adapt to your loss.The Difference Between Normal and Complicated GriefResearch findings have led experts to come up with many differing categories of grief experience ranging from normal to complicated. Normal (or uncomplicated) grief has no timeline and encompasses a range of feelings and behaviors common after loss such as bodily distress, guilt, hostility, preoccupation with the image of the deceased, and the inability to function as one had before the loss. All are normal and present us with profound, and seemingly endless, challenges. Yet, Katherine Walsh says, Over the course of time, with average social supportmost individuals will gradually experience a diminishment of these feelings, behaviors, and sensations. So, how can you know if your bereavement is no longer within the range of normal? Ms. Walsh goes on to say, While there is no definitive time period by which this happens, if an individual or members of a family continue to experience distress intensely or for a prolonged periodor even unexpectedly years after a lossthey may benefit from treatment for complicated grief.A Useful Model for Assessment: Wordens Four Tasks of MourningThere are certain tasks that, when achieved during your bereavement, can successfully allow you to emerge on the other side of loss as a better, stronger, and more resilient individual. James Worden proposed these four tasks: To accept the reality of the loss To process the pain of grief To adjust to a world without the deceased To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life Instead of focusing on your bodily discomforts, feelings, and common behaviors, this model allows you to better see where you may be stuck or stalled in the adaptive process. Fortunately, Worden also gives us a list of indicators advising that "any one of these clues in and of itself may not be sufficient" for a diagnosis of complicated grief. "However," he continues, "any of theseshould be taken seriously, and the diagnosis of complicated grief should be considered when they appear."12 Clues... 12 InsightsWhile grief educators and theorists tell us that a diagnosis of complicated grief should not even be attempted until after the first anniversary of the death, if any one of the following symptomatic clues exists for longer than six months, you may want to consider grief counseling or grief therapy: You cannot speak of the deceased without experiencing intense and fresh grief long after the loss. A relatively minor event triggers an intense grief reaction. Your conversations with others are littered with references to loss. In other words, loss is an ever-present motif in your world view. You have issues related to your loved one's possessions. Keeping everything the same as before their death could indicate trouble just as tossing out everything right away can also be a clue to disordered mourning. (You also need to factor in your cultural and religious background) You have developed physical symptoms similar to those of the deceased before their death. Sometimes these symptoms recur annually, on the anniversary of the death, or on holidays. An increased susceptibility to illness or the development of a chronic physical complaint can also be an indicator. If you have made radical changes to your lifestyle, or excluded friends, family members, or even activities associated with the deceased, it may indicate unresolved grief. A long history of depression, often marked by guilt or low self-esteem, can reveal disordered mourning. The opposite is also true: a person experiencing a false sense of happiness or elation could be experiencing unresolved grief. A compulsion to imitate the deceased, in personality or behavior, can be a sign of complicated mourning. Having self-destructive impulses or exhibiting self-destructive behaviors can be significant. These can range from substance abuse, engaging in self-harm, developing eating disorders and suicidal tendencies. A sense of unexplained sadness occurring at a certain time each year (holidays, anniversaries, or birthdays) can also be a clue to unresolved grief. Developing a strong fear about dying, especially when it relates to the illness that took the life of your loved one, is an important clue. If you have avoided visiting your loved one's grave or if you are still unwilling to discuss the circumstances of their death, this could indicate complications in your bereavement. There are many types of complicated grief; it can be delayed, masked, exaggerated, or chronic. Self-diagnosis is without purpose. A year after the death, if you feel your grief symptoms worsening, we advise that you seek a referral from your family physician for professional grief counseling or therapy.Sources: Walsh, Katherine, Grief and Loss: Theories and Skills for the Helping Professions, 2nd Edition, 2012 Worden, James, Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner, 4th Edition, 2009

Local Services By This Author

Talkspace

Health & Wellness 622 3rd Avenue, New York, New York, 10017

Online Mental Health TherapyMental health support from anywhere, available fast Talkspace provides mental health support privately and conveniently online. Receive live video therapy appointments from a highly qualified licensed therapist covered by your Medicare or Medicare Advantage plan with little wait.  Individual therapy, psychiatry, or couples counseling covered by your private insurance plan is also readily available.Talkspace provides:A private space to discuss relationships, retirement, grief, health conditions, financial concerns, life changes, and anything thats on your mindLive one-on-one therapy sessions from your computer or phoneTreatment for over 150 mental health conditions including anxiety, stress, grief, depression, OCD, BPD, and moreMessaging therapy allows you to share with your therapist 24/7 and receive feedback and advice, and is proven to be as effective as traditional therapy..Connect with a therapist within daysTalkspace will match you with a therapist who is licensed in your state and should be a good fit for your needs. Start communicating with your therapist in 1-2 days.Receive care on your scheduleTalkspace removes all the scheduling hassles so you can get mental health support anytime, anywhere. Send your therapist text, voice, or video messages through the secure Talkspace platform and hear back daily, 5 days / weekStart your care journey with Talkspace today, visit www.talkspace.com

Talkspace

Counseling 622 3rd Avenue, New York, New York, 10017

Online Mental Health TherapyMental health support from anywhere, available fast Talkspace provides mental health support privately and conveniently online. Receive live video therapy appointments from a highly qualified licensed therapist covered by your Medicare or Medicare Advantage plan with little wait.  Individual therapy, psychiatry, or couples counseling covered by your private insurance plan is also readily available.Talkspace provides:A private space to discuss relationships, retirement, grief, health conditions, financial concerns, life changes, and anything thats on your mindLive one-on-one therapy sessions from your computer or phoneTreatment for over 150 mental health conditions including anxiety, stress, grief, depression, OCD, BPD, and moreMessaging therapy allows you to share with your therapist 24/7 and receive feedback and advice, and is proven to be as effective as traditional therapy..Connect with a therapist within daysTalkspace will match you with a therapist who is licensed in your state and should be a good fit for your needs. Start communicating with your therapist in 1-2 days.Receive care on your scheduleTalkspace removes all the scheduling hassles so you can get mental health support anytime, anywhere. Send your therapist text, voice, or video messages through the secure Talkspace platform and hear back daily, 5 days / weekStart your care journey with Talkspace today, visit www.talkspace.com

Talkspace

Medicare Health Providers 622 3rd Avenue, New York, New York, 10017

Online Mental Health TherapyMental health support from anywhere, available fast Talkspace provides mental health support privately and conveniently online. Receive live video therapy appointments from a highly qualified licensed therapist covered by your Medicare or Medicare Advantage plan with little wait.  Individual therapy, psychiatry, or couples counseling covered by your private insurance plan is also readily available.Talkspace provides:A private space to discuss relationships, retirement, grief, health conditions, financial concerns, life changes, and anything thats on your mindLive one-on-one therapy sessions from your computer or phoneTreatment for over 150 mental health conditions including anxiety, stress, grief, depression, OCD, BPD, and moreMessaging therapy allows you to share with your therapist 24/7 and receive feedback and advice, and is proven to be as effective as traditional therapy..Connect with a therapist within daysTalkspace will match you with a therapist who is licensed in your state and should be a good fit for your needs. Start communicating with your therapist in 1-2 days.Receive care on your scheduleTalkspace removes all the scheduling hassles so you can get mental health support anytime, anywhere. Send your therapist text, voice, or video messages through the secure Talkspace platform and hear back daily, 5 days / weekStart your care journey with Talkspace today, visit www.talkspace.com