How to talk to your siblings about senior care

Author

Comfort Keepers

Posted on

Jun 13, 2024

Book/Edition

Florida - Southwest

share-this
Share This

How to talk to your siblings about senior care

Caregiving can be a rewarding experience, and an opportunity to give back some of the care and compassion received earlier in life. As we watch family members age, it can bring up big emotions and challenges. It's hard to see an aging parent loved ones growing older and in need of help. Especially when it comes to having the initial conversation about options like in-home care. 

Having that first conversation about a loved one and their needs can be challenging, but it should be done sooner rather than later. As a person ages, their ability to make decisions may diminish. For a decision as important as this one, everyone in the family should feel heard. 

Steps for a Successful Family Care Conversation 

Step 1: Plan the Conversation

As the saying goes, seeing is believing. Phone calls don't always convey the complete picture of the situation. How can your family make this easier? Try to pick a date and time when you can get the whole family together and in person for this vital conversation. If it’s impossible to get your family together in person, a video call can be a great alternative. 

Try not to wait for an accident or medical emergency before addressing the future – after all, it is always harder to think clearly and make decisions in moments of crisis.  

There are many different options for in-home care, and information can help find a solution that is the best fit. Start your research to see what you think is best for you and your family. 

Step 2: Share concerns from a place of love  

Although this can be intimidating, staying calm and taking breaks is important. The initial conversation is to understand each other and begin to set goals together as a family. 

Have the necessary paperwork or documents to help everyone in the family. Share any stories or anecdotes from the older family member’s doctors or friends will be helpful as well. It's easier for everyone to understand the situation when medical records illustrate important care concerns. If the older member of the family expresses interest in staying in their home as they age, then in-home care may be the right choice for them. 

A group of women sitting on a couch

Description automatically generated with medium confidence

Seniors who use home care services report 25% fewer doctor's visits than those who do not. [AM1] 

Step 3: Talk it out 

Make sure you give everyone time to speak; everyone might not always agree during this process but respecting each other and staying level-headed is key. Ultimately a good rule of thumb is to ask a lot of questions. Ask siblings and family members for their thoughts and what they think about getting an aging parent in-home assistance, and ask the loved one their desires for this next step in life. 

What to do after the first conversation? Give it some time, and make sure everyone has collected their thoughts from the initial discussion.  

Every family is different. Don't feel discouraged if a few conversations are needed before everyone is comfortable moving to the next step. It can take some time for siblings and family members to come around; just remember to be patient and make sure everyone has a clear understanding of their role and responsibility in this decision.  

Here's a resource to help define the roles when moving forward. 

Comfort Keepers® Can Help

Comfort Keepers caregivers can help with encouragement, support, and assistance with daily living. Caregivers can encourage overall health through meal planning, grocery shopping, meal preparation, and activities. Our custom care plans focus on physical and mental health and wellness activities. Our goal is to see that clients have the means to find joy and happiness each day, regardless of age or understanding.

To learn more about our in-home care services, contact your local Comfort Keepers location today. 

Other Articles You May Like

What is Hospice Care & Why is it Important?

Hospice supports people near the end of life with compassionate care by:Developing individualized care plans focused on each patients goals and wishesManaging symptoms and painImproving quality of life in the patients preferred setting of careEncouraging patients and their families to make the most of their time togetherAt VITAS, our care model is inclusive and is designed to meet the unique needs of diverse patients facing a broad array of advanced illnesses, medical conditions, and accompanying symptoms.Once a patient is deemed eligible for hospice by their physician, the transition can start as soon as theyor the person who is designated to make healthcare decisions on their behalfagrees to shift from a curative focus and begin hospice services.Whether youre a patient, family member, or clinician who treats patients with serious illnesses, having correct information about hospice services can help you make the best decisions about whether hospice care is appropriate.Table of Contents:What Services Does Hospice Provide?What Is Usually Not Included in Hospice Care?What Is the Difference Between Hospice and Palliative Care?Who Is Eligible for Hospice Care?Where Can You Receive Hospice Care?How Long Does Hospice Last?How Do You Pay for Hospice?Begin the Hospice Conversation EarlyWhat to Ask Your Hospice ProviderWhat VITAS Will Do for You in Hospice CareWhat Services Does Hospice Provide?Hospice offers compassionate care to improve the quality of life for seriously ill patients who have a prognosis of six months or less if the disease runs its course as expected.Because hospice is not a place, patients can remain in their home, whether that is a private home or senior living community such as senior living, memory care, or a nursing home. Services include:Clinical symptom and pain management, including medications to help with symptoms.Care coordination, including the delivery of home medical equipment and supplies related to the cause of the illness. This includes shower chairs, oxygen tanks, hospital beds, toileting supplies, and more.Training for family members or friends who are the primary caregiver(s).An expert, multi-disciplinary team makes regular, scheduled visits to the patients household. For patients who live in senior living communities and nursing homes, the hospice team works with the facility staff.Therapies, including physical and occupational therapy. VITAS also offers respiratory therapy, music therapy, and spiritual and complimentary therapies in many programs.Spiritual support and bereavement care.Around-the-clock access to a clinical expert who can treat and triage over the phone or via a telehealth visit.When medically necessary as per Medicare guidelines, VITAS offers Intensive Comfort Care(R), a higher level of care when patients experience symptom exacerbation. Care is delivered at the patients bedside in temporary shifts of 8-24 hours until symptoms stabilize.Short-term care in an inpatient hospice unit as needed (for patients) or respite care (for caregivers)A minimum of 13 months of grief and bereavement support for patients loved ones.What Is Usually Not Included in Hospice Care?Below are some items that are not included in the hospice benefit:Medications unrelated to the patients serious illness.Emergency room care not arranged by the patients hospice care provider.Curative treatments intended to heal the patient. If a new curative medication, therapy, or treatment for the patients serious illness becomes available, they can withdraw from hospice care to receive it.Housing or room and board, aside from an inpatient unit hospice stay when medically necessary. The patient and their loved ones remain responsible for their home, assisted living community, or nursing home and related costs such as rent, mortgage, and food.What Is the Difference Between Hospice and Palliative Care?Palliative care can occur at any point in life, for any duration, and it can occur in conjunction with curative care.Hospice is for patients who are not responding to disease-directed treatments and are expected to live six months or less.Both types of care offer pain and symptom relief with clinical and psychosocial services. Hospice is the only one of these options covered by the Medicare Hospice Benefit (Medicare Part A).Who Is Eligible for Hospice Care?A patients physician will determine hospice eligibility based on the patients prognosis. Hospice becomes an option when curative treatments are no longer effective and the patient has a life expectancy of six months or less as certified by their attending physician and a hospice doctoreither the hospices medical director or the directors designee. Increased hospitalizations or emergency department visits, typically more than three per year, may be a sign of hospice eligibility.Diseases that may lead to functional decline and hospice eligibility include:CancerCardiac and circulatory diseasesDementia/AlzheimersEnd-stage liver or kidney diseaseRespiratory diseasesStroke, neurological diseases, ALS (Lou Gehrigs disease)Sepsis and post-sepsis syndromeHospice care remains a patients choice. Patients can choose to stop receiving hospice services or revoke hospice without a physicians consent. They can then resume curative efforts. If they decide to return to hospice, they can do so as long as they meet eligibility guidelines.Where Can You Receive Hospice Care?Hospice is a service provided by a team of experts that comes to the patient in the place they prefer to receive end-of-life care. This means patients can remain surrounded by the faces and things they know and love:In a private homeIn a senior living communityIn a nursing homeWhen medically necessary, shortterm treatment in an inpatient unit is available for some hospice patients.How Long Does Hospice Last?There is no limit to the amount of time a patient can receive hospice care. Although hospice is for patients who have six months or less to live according to a physician, the patients stay can be extended when necessary.Eligible patients benefit most from hospice services if they are referred early in their end-of-life journey. In surveys, family members often say, We wish we had known about hospice sooner.How Do You Pay for Hospice?Most hospice patients do not have any out-of-pocket expenses. Medicare Part A covers up to 100% of the cost of hospice care related to a hospice-eligible patients illness, with no deductible or copayment.Private or employer-provided health coverage can vary. Check with your insurance provider for details about hospice eligibility, coverage, and out-of-pocket expenses. Medicaid provides hospice coverage, but specific services and eligibility criteria vary by state.Begin the Hospice Conversation EarlyHospice care provides the most meaningful improvement to the patients quality of life when it begins sooner in their disease process rather than later.VITAS recommends end-of-life care conversations begin as soon as a serious diagnosis is made. Patients can ensure that they receive the care they wantand when they want itby having early and ongoing discussions about their care goals and preferences with their family, physicians, or facility staff.Physicians can help patients understand their options and identify their preferences during advance care planning sessions and goals-of-care consultations. These Medicare-reimbursed discussions result in advance directives, medically binding documents that indicate how a patient should be treated, under what circumstances they should be resuscitated, who can make medical decisions on their behalf, and more.Everyone over the age of 18 should have an advance directive to maintain control over their care in case they become unable to speak for themselves. Advance directives include living wills, durable/medical powers of attorney, a Five Wishes document, physician/medical orders for life-sustaining treatment, and other important documents.Questions to Ask Your Hospice ProviderWhen considering hospice care for yourself or a loved one, understanding a potential providers capabilities, history, and philosophy will enable you to make a more confident care decision. These questions can clarify whether a provider is a good fit for a patient:How are hospice costs covered? Does the provider accept Medicare, Medicaid, VA benefits, and private insurance?What levels of care are provided? How often will care team members visit the patient at home?What is the admissions process? How quickly can care begin?What happens in the case of an emergency or an episode of aggressive symptoms? Does the provider offer 24/7 support?Can the provider manage complex symptoms at home? Do they offer specialized services for respiratory disease, dementia, cancer, heart disease, sepsis, HIV/AIDS, etc.?Is population-specific care available for veterans, LGBTQ+ patients, religious minorities, etc.? Can the provider accommodate and honor specific religious or cultural traditions?What VITAS Will Do for You in Hospice CareVITAS is guided by a core value: Patients and families come first. Every VITAS service is designed to surround patients, their families, and caregivers with support that elevates quality of life, manages their symptoms and pain, and ensures comfort and dignity during one of lifes most difficultbut meaningfulperiods.Once a patient is ready to consider hospice care, VITAS can typically conduct an eligibility assessment within 24 hours and, if appropriate, begin an immediate transition to our services. We can take on new patients day or night, even on holidays and weekends.This always-available approach defines our entire care model. Clinical support for patients, families, and caregivers is never more than a phone call away.A VITAS interdisciplinary care team is assigned to each patient, working from an individualized care plan built around the patients unique needs, goals, and preferences.Members of the teamincluding a physician, nurse, aide, social worker, chaplain, bereavement counselor, and other specialistswill visit routinely to manage the patients clinical, psychosocial, and spiritual symptoms. Visit frequency depends on the needs of each patient and family.Upon the patients death, spiritual staff and other members of the care team can be present to assist with end-of-life rituals, funeral home arrangements, and the challenges of grieving.For at least 13 months after the patients death, VITAS bereavement specialists continue to help the family navigate their loss with personal check-ins, grief support groups, and other practical measures.

American Heart Association Heart Failure Certified Care

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) names heart disease as the leading cause of death for men, women, and people of most racial and ethnic groups in the United States. Yet, heart failure is underrepresented in hospice care. Studies suggest only one in 10 patients with advanced heart failure is referred to hospice1.Instead, hospice is often considered for patients with advanced cancerthough both illnesses present similar symptom burden and psychological strain2. With better care for patients with heart failure, they can experience a higher quality of life. Hospice offers improved pain and symptom management and emotional well-being to maximize the end-of-life journey for patients and families.With industry-leading hospice services, trust VITAS to care for your patients with advanced cardiac disease. All VITAS programs throughout the US have earned the American Heart Associations Palliative/Hospice Heart Failure Certificationthe first nationwide hospice organization to receive this achievement.This certification ensures that VITAS clinical practices align with the American Heart Associations science-based, evidence-driven standards for heart failure care at the end of life. With this trusted endorsement, patients with advanced cardiac disease can be confident VITAS will provide best-in-class cardiac care from initial admission through bereavement.Our clinicians trained in cardiac care serve patients wherever the patient calls homean assisted living facility, nursing home, or private home. In some locations, a VITAS inpatient unit is available for symptoms that cannot be managed at home. In each setting, a multidisciplinary team works together to ensure the patient receives clinical, emotional, spiritual, and social support.Throughout their care trajectory, VITAS helps patients and families navigate advanced heart disease with both dignity and comfort.1. Kheirbek, et al. (2015). Discharge hospice referral and lower 30-day all-cause readmission in Medicare beneficiaries hospitalized for heart failure. Circulation: Heart Failure, 8(4), 733-740.2. Bekelman, et al. (2009) Symptom burden, depression, and spiritual well-being: a comparison of heart failure and advanced cancer patients. Journal of General Internal Medicine 24.5: 592-598.

Alzheons Alzheimers Trial Shows Promising Results Were Honored to Be Part of It

Alzheon has reported encouraging results from its Phase 2 trial of ALZ-801, an oral treatment for early Alzheimers disease. The study showed cognitive benefits, a 28% reduction in hippocampal atrophy, and a strong safety profile, particularly for individuals with two copies of the APOE4 gene. With the Phase 3 trial now fully enrolled, topline results are expected in the near future. If successful, ALZ-801 could become the first oral anti-amyloid therapy for high-risk patients. Aqualane is proud to be part of this groundbreaking research and extend our deepest gratitude to all participants whose contributions are shaping the future of Alzheimers treatment.

Local Services By This Author

Comfort Keepers of SW Florida

Home Health 12480 Brantley Commons Ct., Fort Myers, Florida, 33907

Comfort Keepers is a leading provider of in-home senior care services for elderly loved ones living in Fort Myers, Florida, and surrounding Southwest FL areas. Located at 12480 Brantley Commons Ct #101, Ft. Myers, Florida 33907, Comfort Keepers is dedicated to elevating the human spirit by providing quality care, comfort, and companionship to seniors in their own homes.Our mission is to help seniors remain independent by providing reliable care tailored to their needs. Our experienced professionals offer a range of services, including companionship, personal care assistance, and safety care, ensuring that seniors receive the support they need to live comfortably and safely at home.At Comfort Keepers, we understand the importance of maintaining independence and quality of life as we age. That's why we offer flexible care plans and personalized care options to meet the unique needs of each senior. Our caregivers are trained to provide specialized care for seniors with Alzheimer's and dementia, ensuring they receive the highest level of support and comfort.We also provide transportation services, technology support, and 24-hour care for seniors who need consistent monitoring. Our goal is to provide peace of mind to families, knowing their loved ones are receiving the care and companionship they deserve.If you're interested in becoming a caregiver, Comfort Keepers offers rewarding job opportunities with competitive pay and flexible scheduling. Join our team and help us make a difference in the lives of seniors in our community.For more information about our services or career opportunities, please contact us at (239) 590-8999 or visit our website.

Comfort Keepers

Non-Medical , Port Charlotte, Florida, 33948

Families choose Comfort Keepers for different reasons. For some, it is for extensive care. For others, we offer a much needed break for family members who regularly provide care. Each Comfort Keepers client has unique care needs. That is why we offer a full range of in-home services - to tailor care plans that provide our senior and other adult clients the right amount and types of help to support independent living at home. These senior home care services are provided by the special caregivers we call Comfort Keepers, to promote independent living to its fullest. Comfort Keepers touches lives around the world and is the comforting solution for your loved one's in-home care.

Comfort Keepers

Home Health , Port Charlotte, Florida, 33948

Families choose Comfort Keepers for different reasons. For some, it is for extensive care. For others, we offer a much needed break for family members who regularly provide care. Each Comfort Keepers client has unique care needs. That is why we offer a full range of in-home services - to tailor care plans that provide our senior and other adult clients the right amount and types of help to support independent living at home. These senior home care services are provided by the special caregivers we call Comfort Keepers, to promote independent living to its fullest. Comfort Keepers touches lives around the world and is the comforting solution for your loved one's in-home care.