Conflict is a normal, natural part of everyones life. Factors that can exacerbate conflict include the well-known things to avoid in polite conversation: religion, politics and money. For families, these big three topics quickly trigger emotions that can be difficult to defuse and when things go awry the aftermath can be felt for decades.According to a May 2018 AARP article Millennials: The Emerging Generation of Family Caregivers, there are 40 million family caregivers in the United States, a quarter of which are millennials. Millennials are loosely defined, but typically considered to be those born between the years 1980-1996. This means that 1 in 4 of the family caregivers are between the ages of 18-38; the same population that according to the Pew Research Center , made up 82% of US births in 2016. This sandwich generation is in charge of a maintaining a fine balance of taking care of their parents, their children and themselves.One woman in her early 30s called our office a few months ago sharing with us that her and her husband have their two children living with them along with both of her parents and it was becoming just too much to handle. She wanted to set-up a mediation with her brothers and parents (one of which has Alzheimers) to work out a better arrangement. Two of our trained mediators took on the case and starting their job of being neutral, confidential facilitators. The mediators did individual prep phone calls or meetings with all the of the parties. When the day arrived, the mediation took place at the house where the elders lived to accommodate their needs and comfort. The mediators began the session by reviewing the agreement to mediate that includes ground rules and confidentiality of both the mediators and those at the mediation. Each party gets uninterrupted time to share their thoughts and feelings and then the conversation begins. The mediators are in the charge of the processmaking sure people are getting heard and understood, get to the underlying interests and issues at hand and finally, writing up a practical agreement that works for everyone involved. At the end of three hours the family learned just how afraid the dad was about going to a retirement community, how the mother needed additional care along with how all of the siblings felt about working together. The agreement included next steps on research for retirement home possibilities, along with medical and financial assistance. For this family, and many others, mediation provided an opportunity to open up and talk about difficult issues in a safe space. Their relationships were able to weather the storm of this life milestone because they chose to listen to each other and together create their own solution.Editors Note: This article was submitted by Mila Pilz, Executive Director, Program Operations of Lancaster-based Advoz Mediation and Restorative Practices.https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/ppi/2018/05/millennial-family-caregivers.pdfhttp://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/05/04/more-than-a-million-millennials-are-becoming-moms-each-year/

Clients frequently tell me they want to add a child as a joint owner on their accounts and assets for convenience. There are numerous reasons why this should not be done, and why it is probably the most inconvenient thing that you can do. The biggest reasons people want to do it are to avoid inheritance tax, and the money will transfer automatically to the child, and not get frozen, upon the parents death. Although technically true, most people dont realize that if the child dies first, the parents will have to pay inheritance tax on their own money.In Pennsylvania, the inheritance tax to lineal descendants is 4.5%; thus, the parent would have to pay 4.5% on half of all the assets on which that the parent and child are joint owners. It is not pleasant to have to pick up the phone, as I have had to do, and tell a parent who lost a child that, although they are grieving, unfortunately, they have pay tax on their own money. The shock and dismay on the other end of the phone is palpable. Why? I only added my child to the account because the bank teller told me to, etc.Yes, when a person dies, accounts in that persons sole name are technically frozen. However, it only takes a few days or a week to be able to open an estate account, and the process is relatively simple, after which the executor can start paying bills. A week of a little inconvenience is certainly worth avoiding all the risks that are associated with joint accounts with children.When a person ends up in long-term care and looks to qualify for Medicaid to be able to pay the bills, having joint-owned accounts is often anything but convenient. For the parent, the caseworker is going to look at who contributed the money into the account, and oftentimes the caseworker will then try to count 100% against the child who had access to it. There are so many issues with joint accounts with children that it does not pay to have do it. At Bellomo and Associates we offer weekly workshops, and a good portion of the workshop is directly around this concept of the reasons not to do it, from the different perspectives of tax, long-term care, and estate planning. Sometimes, it pays to be a little inconvenienced to avoid a catastrophe.Editors Note: This article was submitted by Jeffrey R. Bellomo, Esquire, CELA of Bellomo & Associates.

Is a Will really necessary? I have everything in joint tenancy with my spouse so I really dont think I need a Will.This is a common yet misguided thought among many individuals. Yes, it is necessary to have a Will. In this day of fast paced travel who knows if both you and your spouse will die in an accident. Do you really want the legislators to designate where your assets go and who will wind up the affairs of your estate? In Colorado, if you die without a Will the intestacy laws direct how your assets will be distributed and this may not be what you wanted.So, what really is a Will and what can it really do? A Will is a legal document that directs how your assets will be disposed of at your death. Your property, including real estate, bank accounts, stocks and bonds and personal property, etc., can be given away to anyone you choose, with certain exceptions, after all debts are paid. It also allows you to choose who will be your Personal Representative (the person who carries out your wishes).To insure a Will is valid, there are certain requirements that must be followed. You must be at least 18 years of age, you must know who your family members are, you must know the property you own and you must know the effects of your Will. Moreover, you must be the one wanting to make the Will and not because someone else is forcing you. It must be signed and dated and two (2) disinterested people must witness your signing of your Will. Colorado recognizes not only typed Wills, but also hand written Wills, known as Holographic Wills. But be careful, if you dont follow the rules exactly for your typed or hand written Will, that Will may be considered invalid.To have your wishes known and insure that your property goes to whom you want, a Will is a very powerful and imperative tool. And remember, you should review your Wills every four (4) years to make sure your property that you worked your whole life for is disposed of as you have directed.Editors Note: This article was submitted by Jolene L. DeVries, Attorney at Law, Caon City, Colorado. Ms. DeVries can be reached at 719-275-4424 or by e-mail at info@jldevrieslaw.com.