Loneliness: Why It Happens & What You Can Do About It

Author

Lee Health

For more information about the author, click to view their website: Lee Health

Posted on

Apr 05, 2021

Book/Edition

Florida - Southwest

share-this
Share This
Ive been thinking a lot lately about loneliness, mostly because like other diseases of despair (suicide, opiate overdoses, and alcohol-related deaths), it has become epidemic.
As a baby boomer who didnt dwell much on this issue until recently, I find myself thinking about my childhood and adolescence.
I was raised in a small town in central Massachusetts, population about 3,000, where if you werent related to your neighbors, you likely knew them. You often ran into these familiar faces at the grocery store, post office, or church.
This was mostly a good thing, a kindred sharing of lifes journey together. Yet, sometimes the lack of privacy (loosely defined as freedom from being observed) was less than ideal.
Privacy was always in constant tension with connection. Interestingly, we didnt think much about it, nor the occasional loneliness that now grips our society.
Lonelier Than Ever Before
So, what happened? Despite all the ways we can connect Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat, You Tube, Pinterest, and Google Plus were lonelier than ever before.
In metaphorical terms, were bowling alone as Harvard sociologist Robert Putnam observed.
Whether we live in the sprawling countryside or the brawling city, loneliness plagues us.
First, the industrial revolution led to urbanization of cities, where our lives were made easier by plentiful jobs and centralized services.
Now, the rise of technology (which is always getting smarter think cloud computing, webinars, and online workspaces) has contributed to the phenomenon of de-urbanization in America.More of usare leaving the city to live in rural areas again.
Yet, the epidemic of loneliness knows no geographical boundary. The statistics behind this enormous socio-cultural occurrence are staggering.
The 2018 landmark study of global health service company CIGNA tells the sad and alarming story. Among its findings:

Nearly half of Americans report feeling alone sometimes or always, with an equal number feeling left out.
Two in five Americans feel their relationships are not meaningful and that they feel isolated from others a good deal of the time.
Only half of Americans have meaningful in-person social interactions, like having an extended conversation with a friend or spending quality time with a family member.
Adults ages 18-22, Generation Z, is the loneliest generation and reports itself to be the least healthy as well.
Use of social media does not predict degree of loneliness: those who use it are not significantly lonelier than those who do not.

15 Cigarettes Per Day
Aside from its emotional effects, loneliness produces serious physical consequences, too.
Many studies link loneliness to a higher risk of coronary heart disease and stroke, diminished immune response, and premature mortality.
In other words, impaired social connections can be compared to other well-known lifestyle risk factors.
For example, research shows that loneliness and isolation is as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, and can mimic the adverse effects of obesity, physical inactivity, and poor air quality.
Clearly, the connection between a persons physical, social and mental health is indisputable. Lest one be left feeling discouraged by these findings, fear not! Theres also good news.
How to Cope
First, lets renew our appreciation that social connections are not only healthy, theyre critical to living purposeful lives. Technology may have us spinning like a top, but its heartening to remember that conversation, company, and connection matter.
Moreover, rest reassured that the same common-sense attitudes and behaviors I learned from my small-town experience can help lessen our burden:

First this is most important, I believe is not to blame ourselves for our loneliness and isolation. As a psychologist who has talked with people about this issue for almost 40 years, I can tell you self-blame hinders healing like virtually nothing else I know. For many of us, loneliness is a cultural problem that too often feels like a personal failing. Nothing is further from the truth; if youre feeling disconnected and isolated, dont beat yourself up. Please.

Avoid pointing the finger at yourself and reach a hand out instead. Maybe volunteerat something youre passionate about, whether a meaningful cause or an enjoyable activity. For example, if you like working with carpenter tools, assist an organization that improves or builds affordable housing.

Work on improving the quality of your sleep. Studieshave linked poor sleep habits with feelings of loneliness. Regular exercise, preferably with a friend, family member, or even a pet, can help, too.

Aim for a work-life balance that leaves you with enough energy, vitality, and interest to create and sustain a robust social life. That includes honoring your role in your work family, which includes the acts of giving and receiving with humility. This is important because we spend the best part of our days with our colleagues at the office, shop, or construction site.

Finally, social media is here to stay in our culture, and despite its cautionary reputation, it can be a part of all of this. But, in the end, face-to-face interactions and our physical presence with each other can say you are not alone in more ways than all the combined languages in the world. Indeed, it is the wellspring of meaningful, loving, and connected lives.

Submitted and Written By: Lee Health - click here for more information

Other Articles You May Like

Passions Grow, Passions Bloom:

Passions Grow, Passions Bloom: Cultivating Wellness at Willow Valley Communities Among the most popular passions at Willow Valley Communities is gardening. And, Residents here have a wide variety of ways to indulge. Three generous gardens are situated across our sprawling 210-acre campus for Residents to use in a multitude of configurations of their choosing. Willow Valley Communities hardworking Grounds Team tills each garden in the spring and plows them in the fall, making them ready for Residents to dig right in. Whether Residents are experienced pros or novices, gardening is a wonderful way for them to get outside, enjoy nature and each other, and learn new things. Some Residents have been gardening for decades, while others have only started gardening after moving to Willow Valley Communities. In keeping with our Life Lived Forward philosophy, some Willow Valley Communities Residents take their love of gardening to deeper levels. For example, several Residents from across the country have achieved the distinction of Master Gardener. Master Gardeners are certified in their home state, and the program can take six months to a year to complete and includes a minimum of 40 hours of classroom training, a score of 80 percent on the final exam, and 50 hours of volunteer service. In another example, Residents Annabelle Simpson and Susan Kelly worked with the Penn State Extension of the Pennsylvania State University to have one of their gardens certified as an official Pennsylvania Pollinator-Friendly Garden. The stunning garden is well-known for attracting huge numbers of bees, butterflies, insects, and birds, helping our ecosystem to thrive. Residents are also able to partner their gardening skills with their desire to volunteer and give back to the Lancaster community. With the areas rich, fertile soil, and the extra special care and attention the plants receive, Residents often have an abundance of vegetables and donate them regularly. Throughout the growing season, the Solanco Neighborhood Ministries food bank receives a variety of beans, lettuce, kale, peas, carrots, eggplant, cucumbers, peppers, tomatoes, spinach, and much more from Willow Valley Communities Resident gardens. Additionally, every fall, a harvest of hundreds of pounds of sweet potatoes and butternut squash goes to the Lancaster County Food Hub, a community resource for free, nutritious food and gently used clothing. Some Residents maintain gardening plots every year just for this purpose.Annabelle Simpson and Susan Kelly Gardening time is couple time for Residents Mike and Susan Ziegler. Sue is an avid gardener, and Mike loves being outdoors supporting her gardening passion at Willow Valley Communities. They both love being together in nature, and Sue is amazed by how magical gardening can be. Its just a miracle when the seeds come up, she says. Resident Pat Mortensen challenges herself every year by growing something completely different. Once she enjoyed a robust harvest of King Tut Purple Peas, a very rare garden pea said to have been taken out of the tomb of King Tut! Resident and Master Gardener Angela Booker-White is originally from Virginia but has lived all over the country. Her interest in gardening grew as she read and learned more about it. In her plot at Spring Run, Angela grows all sorts of fruits, vegetables, and flowers and always tries something new. She has the most success with seeds she purchases from the dollar store! Angela has also learned how gardening can help during challenging times. She is grateful to her garden, as well as to her fellow Willow Valley Communities gardeners, for helping her during the difficult time of her husbands unexpected passing. Gardeners, and she doesnt know exactly who, would come and help by doing extra work around her plot. Residents just came in and helped, Angela says. Weeding, cutting, trimming, harvesting whatever work needed to be done. Thats the way Residents are here at Willow Valley Communities: very supportive. Resident Keith Yoder, who coordinates the Spring Run Garden, is not at all surprised by the variety of gardeners at Willow Valley Communities or by the reasons they enjoy the activity so much. He agrees that gardening is definitely a hobby that enhances well-being. Though hes known this himself for years, he refers to an article put out by CNBC that states how gardening can add years to your life. And life to your years, Keith adds. Gardening gets you into nature. Its good exercise for your body and your mind plus, you get to eat what you grow!

Pampering for Self-care & Wellness

The Willow Valley Communities Day Spa is a destination for wellness and renewal. Its a critical component of the comprehensive Mind, Body, Spirit approach to wellness of Willow Valley Communities. The Day Spa offers many ways to soothe, calm, invigorate, or rejuvenate. A full range of professional services, all performed by our attentive and inviting staff, allows Residents to create their own regimen for personal well-being and beauty. These services include manicures and pedicures, skin care, facials, revitalizing peels, waxing, tanning, microdermabrasion, and body treatments with a wide range of different massage modalities, wraps, and scrubs. The Relaxation Room, with its beautiful waterfall and Himalayan Salt Wall, is a main feature of The Day Spa. It provides a peaceful and well-appointed environment in which to relax and offers a perfect and welcome respite between services. Himalayan salt rich in negative ions and essential nutrients and minerals offers numerous health benefits for our bodies, such as stress reduction, energy increases, and mood boosts at a biochemical level. Day Spa Manager Diamando Wallace says, Self-care is essential. Although manicures and pedicures are a well-deserved treat, they offer so much more to Residents sense of well-being. You can see the boost in a clients self-confidence as they walk out feeling refreshed.  Massages are one of the most popular services requested by Residents, and The Day Spa offers a wide menu of options, including hot stone and aromatherapy. Emily Ransing, Willow Valley Communities Day Spa Massage Therapist, says, Massage is meant to enhance your well-being physically and mentally. I frequently remind my clients that this is their time to focus on themselves to feel healthier. I do all I can to send each client home feeling better than when they arrived. A Willow Valley Communities Resident was asked about her massage as she was leaving The Day Spa one afternoon. She said, After a massage with Emily, your body is so relaxed that you can focus on the things that you often overlook the air is sweeter, the birds are more melodious, the day is brighter. You are better equipped to face the next days, whatever they may bring. As she walked out of the Cultural Center to her car, she added with a smile, Its also a way to take the tension out of your body although theres not much tension at Willow Valley Communities!

Downsizing or Selling Your Home in Retirement: Tax Implications to Kno

Downsizing or Selling Your Home in Retirement: Tax Implications to KnowSelling the family home is one of the biggest financial decisions many people make in retirement whether you're downsizing something smaller, moving closer to family, or relocating somewhere warmer. Before you list the house, it's worth understanding how the sale could affect your taxes.The Good News: Most Home Sellers Owe Little or No TaxUnder federal tax law, homeowners can exclude a significant amount of profit from capital gains tax when they sell a primary residence: Up to $250,000 in gain excluded for single filers Up to $500,000 in gain excluded for married couples filing jointly These limits have stayed the same since 1997 they aren't adjusted for inflation but for most sellers, especially those who haven't owned an especially high-value home for decades, they're enough to eliminate the tax bill entirely.Do You Qualify for the Full Exclusion?To claim the exclusion, you generally need to pass two tests: Ownership test: You owned the home for at least 2 years during the 5-year period before the sale. Use test: You lived in the home as your primary residence for at least 2 years during that same 5-year period. For married couples claiming the full $500,000 exclusion, both spouses need to meet the use test, though only one spouse needs to meet the ownership test. If only one spouse meets the use test, the exclusion drops to $250,000.If you don't fully meet the two-year requirements but had to sell due to a job change, health issue, divorce, or similar unforeseen circumstance, you may still qualify for a partial exclusion.How Your Gain Is Actually CalculatedThis is where record-keeping pays off. Your taxable gain isn't your sale price it's your sale price minus your cost basis, which includes: What you originally paid for the home The cost of qualifying capital improvements over the years (a new roof, an addition, major renovations not routine repairs or maintenance) Selling costs, such as agent commissions Every dollar documented improvement raises your basis and lowers your taxable gain. If you've owned your home for decades, digging up old receipts and records for major projects can make a meaningful difference sometimes the difference between owing tax and owing nothing at all.What Happens If Your Gain Exceeds the ExclusionIf your profit is larger than your exclusion amount, the excess is taxed as a long-term capital gain (assuming you owned the home more than a year), generally at 0%, 15%, or 20% depending on your overall taxable income. For higher-income sellers, an additional 3.8% Net Investment Income Tax may also apply above certain income thresholds. This is more common than it used to be for retirees who've owned a home for many years in an area where property values have risen substantially.A Few Other Situations Worth Knowing Home office deductions: If you claimed depreciation on a home office in past years, that portion is generally "recaptured" and taxed differently when you sell, separate from the main exclusion. Selling a second home or rental property: The primary residence exclusion generally doesn't apply to vacation homes or rental properties. Different rules, including possible depreciation recapture, come into play. Inherited homes: If you're selling a home you inherited, the property typically receives a stepped-up basis to its fair market value at the time of the original owner's death which can significantly reduce or eliminate taxable gain compared to using the original purchase price. Using the exclusion more than once: The exclusion isn't a one-time benefit. You can generally use it again for a future home sale, as long as you meet the ownership and use tests again and haven't claimed it on another sale within the prior two years. Why Planning Ahead MattersThe tax side of selling a home is often simpler than people expect, especially with the exclusion in play but assumptions can be costly in either direction. Some retirees overestimate their tax exposure and hesitate to sell when they'd actually owe little or nothing. Others underestimate it, especially with a long-held, appreciated home, and are surprised by a gain above the exclusion. Reviewing your specific numbers before you list the home, rather than after the sale closes, gives you room to plan.Thinking about downsizing or selling a home in retirement? Contact Zunic Advisory Services to walk through what the sale could mean for your taxes.

Local Services By This Author

Lee Health - Wellness & Exercise Programs

Wellness & Exercise Programs , Fort Myers, Florida,

Lee Health is a leading healthcare provider in Southwest Florida, offering award-winning care and comprehensive services to meet the diverse needs of our community. Our mission is to provide quality service with personal attention, ensuring that every patient receives the best possible care.At Lee Health, we understand that finding the right care can be overwhelming. That's why we offer a range of services, from in-person care to virtual visits, urgent care, and emergency care, to ensure that you can access the care you need, when you need it. Our team of experienced physicians and specialists are dedicated to providing compassionate, personalized care to each and every patient.In addition to our clinical services, Lee Health is committed to providing resources and support to our community. Through our learning center, blog, and webinars, we strive to educate and empower individuals to take control of their health and wellness.As part of our commitment to excellence, Lee Health is currently conducting an evaluation of our business structure to ensure that we are meeting the highest standards of quality and efficiency. We invite you to explore our website to learn more about our services, find a doctor, and discover how Lee Health can help you and your family live healthier lives.

Lee Health - Ambulance

Ambulance , Fort Myers, Florida,

Lee Health is a leading healthcare provider in Southwest Florida, offering award-winning care and comprehensive services to meet the diverse needs of our community. Our mission is to provide quality service with personal attention, ensuring that every patient receives the best possible care.At Lee Health, we understand that finding the right care can be overwhelming. That's why we offer a range of services, from in-person care to virtual visits, urgent care, and emergency care, to ensure that you can access the care you need, when you need it. Our team of experienced physicians and specialists are dedicated to providing compassionate, personalized care to each and every patient.In addition to our clinical services, Lee Health is committed to providing resources and support to our community. Through our learning center, blog, and webinars, we strive to educate and empower individuals to take control of their health and wellness.As part of our commitment to excellence, Lee Health is currently conducting an evaluation of our business structure to ensure that we are meeting the highest standards of quality and efficiency. We invite you to explore our website to learn more about our services, find a doctor, and discover how Lee Health can help you and your family live healthier lives.

Lee Health - Parkinson's Support & Research

Parkinsons Support & Research , Fort Myers, Florida,

Lee Health is a leading healthcare provider in Southwest Florida, offering award-winning care and comprehensive services to meet the diverse needs of our community. Our mission is to provide quality service with personal attention, ensuring that every patient receives the best possible care.At Lee Health, we understand that finding the right care can be overwhelming. That's why we offer a range of services, from in-person care to virtual visits, urgent care, and emergency care, to ensure that you can access the care you need, when you need it. Our team of experienced physicians and specialists are dedicated to providing compassionate, personalized care to each and every patient.In addition to our clinical services, Lee Health is committed to providing resources and support to our community. Through our learning center, blog, and webinars, we strive to educate and empower individuals to take control of their health and wellness.As part of our commitment to excellence, Lee Health is currently conducting an evaluation of our business structure to ensure that we are meeting the highest standards of quality and efficiency. We invite you to explore our website to learn more about our services, find a doctor, and discover how Lee Health can help you and your family live healthier lives.