Persuading Aging Parents to Get Help: 4 Strategies for Peace of Mind

Author

Naborforce - DFW

For more information about the author, click to view their website: Naborforce

Posted on

Jun 04, 2024

Book/Edition

Texas - Dallas, Collin, SE Denton & Rockwall Counties

Persuading Aging Parents to Get Help: 4 Strategies for Peace of Mind

Persuading an aging parent to ask for occasional help can be challenging. With some planning and understanding, you can come up with a game plan to persuade a strong-willed parent to welcome a landing hand every now and again. Read the 4 Strategies to Convince an Older Parent to Consider Getting Help below.


Strategy 1: Identify Every Single Service Where Your Aging Parent Could Use Help


Small Actions Can Add Up 


Start with your ideal scenario in mind. If you had a magic wand, what would you want help with right now? Maybe it’s some light cooking every now and again, or maybe it’s organizing and sorting leftover mail. Whatever it might be, come up with a full list and identify all of the existing services where it’s completely acceptable to hire a service. For example, requesting help with a ride or an occasional meal is totally normal, even desirable, with Uber and Doordash. If a parent is comfortable requesting Doordash, maybe they’ll be open to a person coming in to help around the house just as easily. If your parent takes rides on Uber, maybe it won’t be so far off to welcome assistance with a grocery delivery.


Strategy 2: Understand the Source of Your Elderly Parent’s Reaction to Getting Help


Tackle the Root Cause First


Often, a refusal for help isn’t about the action itself but something much bigger. The exact cause would depend on the individual aging parent, but some reasons could relate to a potential change in identity, perception, and social values. In situations like these, it’s helpful to insert your parent directly into the conversation. There are many ways to get at a root cause, but here are some starters:

  • Ask your parent to describe themselves in 5 words 

  • Ask your parent to draw themselves on their ideal day 

  • Ask your parent to say what’s their favorite thing they love about themselves 

  • Ask your parent to say what they think family members think about them 


Strategy 3: Reframe Asking for Help into a Concept that Matches Fit a Parent’s Core Belief

It’s All about Perception


Now that you have some insight into who your older parent really wants to be, you can develop a simple communication strategy that changes the way they view asking for help. For example, your parent might be very comfortable being served a meal at a restaurant, but they might cringe at the thought of someone coming in their home to cook. What if having someone come in at home is thought of as a convenient service rather than an ask for help? What if someone coming in to cook at home is reframed as a way to save time to spend with grandchildren instead? These are some ways you can flip the script away from someone needing help to someone choosing to get help so they can have more time doing the things they love. After all, anyone, at any stage, can use a little help. 



Strategy 4: Reach Out to Friends or Family Members Who Have Used Similar Services


Social Proof Can Make a Difference


Sometimes, all it takes is a nudge from our social circle to feel comfortable with a decision. How many times have you been wary of trying something, only to find yourself being persuaded by a close friend? Our parents might think the same way. Can you think of anyone in your older parent’s community who has previously used a helping hand? Consider asking them to have a casual conversation with your parents and briefly mentioning their experience. The more people talk about a certain topic, the more persuasive it is. That’s the power of social networks. 


It’s never easy to convince a parent that it’s time to ask for help. After all, a parent has spent a quarter of a lifetime (or more!) caring for their children, that it can be hard to change their perspective of caregiving. With the 5 strategies on persuading an aging parent to ask for help, we hope that you can open up the conversation with an aging parent to view asking for help as a way to a flourishing, vibrant future rather than a sign of weakness or helplessness. Getting help frees up time, and is there anything more important than extra time to do what we love?

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Naborforce

Aging in Place 3015 West Moore Street, Richmond, Virginia, 23230

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