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The question of how to help a friend or loved one is being asked more frequently given the abundant grief and loss were experiencing. We so want to help others, give comfort, or reduce pain, somehow, someway. And yet, the best answer is to start by not saying or doing anything. The best answer is to start byauthentically listening.
What is authentic listening?
Authentic listening is a mighty tool of caring and service. Undervalued, listening is the ultimate love language. Its quiet, slow, modest, and requires our time and single-minded attention. Maybe thats why its underused. Loud, showy, busyness is much more valued today with quick fixes and a plentitude of platitudes.
Authentic listening is often the only thing needed to help someone. When someone listens to our experience and our emotions in a safe space, we feel truly loved and validated. Often, saying our problems out loud illuminates the illusive solutions and because these solutions are custom-made, they are embraced more enthusiastically than to advice given by others. Authentic listening provides safe space. The listener lends themselves to us for a while, giving us their full attention, without distraction. Their purpose is to validate, not judge; understand, not fix. Hesitating at first, we relax into speaking truth as the person just listens without interruptions, unnecessary questions, or commentary. Authentic listening is a conscientious decision made in the moment. It doesnt happen by accident because it requires us to deliberately turn down the noise of our thoughts, questions, and advice while turning up our sensitivity to what this person is saying and feeling. Distractionsare turned off and quiet patience is turned on.
Authentic listening is a magical experience. Consider the last time you experienced authentic listening, as the listener or the recipient. Youll remember it because they are rare, special moments. There is a heart-to-heart connection that can be transformative for both people. Given how good it feels and how well it works, we have to wonder why we dont make it happen more often.
How do I listen authentically?
Authentic listening uses these phrases:
Tell me more This must be really hard I want to make sure I understand Is this what youre saying What has this been like for you
Authentic listening avoids these phrases:
I understand how you feel When that happened to me, I What you need to do is just Have you tried Just look on the bright side
Authentic listening takes practice and it's worth it.
Authentic listening doesnt come easily and requires intentional practice. The result is having the most precious gift you can give to others when there are no words to be said. And from your listening may come a very customized answer of what service can be done.
Today, make a decision to authentically listen to one person close to you. Researchers find most of us listen for about 18 seconds before interrupting and taking over the conversation. Try to stretch that to 30 seconds or even a full minute. Observe what happens when you take your turn to truly listen before talking.
As you get older, health screenings and checkups become a more vital part of your overall well-being. Knowing which screenings to get after 50, and how often, will support early detection and effective treatment, while also helping you stay proactive about your health. To make being proactive even easier, weve created a handy preventive care guide filled with quick health tips and the information you need to stay on top of your health screenings. Click below to download your free health screening guide today -https://transformingage.org/mastering-your-health-after-50/- Call us today to learn more 720-505-5133.
Maintaining Independence with the Right Summer Support Systems
Supporting independence is one of the best things we can do for the older adults in our lives. The summer months, filled with events and activities, offer great opportunities to revisit how were helping seniors stay empowered, without compromising safety.What Independence Really Looks LikeIt doesnt mean doing everything alone it means having the freedom to make choices, engage in meaningful routines, and feel in control. From choosing what to eat to deciding when to go for a walk, independence is deeply tied to dignity and mental wellness.Tools That Support Senior IndependencePersonal Emergency Response Systems (PERS): Allow seniors to summon help at the touch of a buttonMedication Dispensers: Help track daily doses and prevent missed or doubled medsVoice-Controlled Smart Devices: Can assist with reminders, music, and communicationTransportation Services: Ride-share apps or senior transit services can make errands and outings easierProfessional Services Can Help, TooIn-home care aides can support with personal care or light housekeepingMeal delivery services ensure regular nutrition without the burden of cookingDay programs or hobby groups promote mental stimulation and social interactionResources to Explore Support Options:Eldercare Locator A nationwide service connecting older adults and caregivers with trustworthy local support resources. https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/Index.aspxBenefitsCheckUp by NCOA A free, confidential tool to help older adults find benefits and support programs. https://www.ncoa.org/benefits-checkupAARP Technology Resources for Seniors Guides for using smart home devices, tablets, and safety tech. https://www.aarp.org/home-family/personal-technology/ Summer is a season of freedom and with the right supports in place, seniors can experience that freedom in ways that enrich their health, happiness, and quality of life. Call us today to learn more, 303-957-2555.
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