What If You and Your Child’s Other Parent Cannot Agree on a Guardian?

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Bellomo & Associates

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Posted on

Apr 28, 2023

Book/Edition

Pennsylvania - South Central PA

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When engaging in estate planning for any parent whose child is not yet an adult, there is always one very important decision to make: who would be the guardian of their child(ren) if both parents pass away? Like many issues in estate planning, it is an almost unimaginable thought that such a tragedy could occur to a child. But if we did not plan for the worst when doing estate planning, it would not be providing your family the protection it deserves.

If a child would ever lose both their parents before they are an adult, the state would have to appoint a person to be in charge of your child’s best interest and who could legally act as the child’s parent (for example to have authority to register the child for school or take the child to a doctor). This person is what is referred to as a guardian, and can only be appointed by a Judge after a very thorough vetting process and Court proceedings all centered on the standard of what is in the best interest of that child.

A common misconception is that there is some automatic and informal process whereby, in the event of the death of both parents, the child’s pre-determined “relative x” would automatically become the child’s guardian. Again, this is simply incorrect as stated above, even if you list a preferred guardian in your Will. The only way that your child will have a guardian appointed is after they go through the guardianship process in Court. Nevertheless, it is not as though a Judge would ignore the wishes of the deceased parent. The wishes of the deceased parent would be overwhelmingly strong evidence to any Judge who was trying to decide what person would be best to care for this child going forward. For that reason, it is imperative for any parent to list their preferred choice of guardians in their Will in the event of their death.

When I am working with estate planning clients and helping them consider who should be listed as their child’s preferred guardian, things can get complicated quickly. It can be difficult for any couple to agree on who would be the appropriate guardian for their child, and it is something that most people try not to even imagine. Common examples of concern quickly become issues such as which set of grandparents should be listed first. Should we make both of our siblings act as co-guardians? Do we still feel comfortable with your father as guardian if your mother is no longer here, or vice versa?

The best approach is to plan for the immediate. I always remind clients that they should only try to plan ahead for the next few years because they can always revise that choice in their Will as time goes by. Sometimes, there is an obvious choice of who would take care of toddlers; but maybe that same person would not be such a great choice with a teenager. It’s also important to take into consideration a list of backup guardians. You can have as long of a succession line for your preferred guardian in your Will as you like to provide you with the most comfort possible. By taking these steps, and understanding that there is an entire judicial process set up to protect your children, you can enjoy peace of mind knowing you have done the most you can to protect your family.

If we can be of any assistance or answer any questions while you make decisions about yourself and your family, please give us a call at 717-844-9639 or click the link here and we will contact you.

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Local Services By This Author

Bellomo & Associates

Estate Planning 3198 E Market St, York, Pennsylvania, 17402

We Educate so what happened to the Bellomo Family doesn't happen to yours!Our firms mission is to ensure that you and your family never needlessly, painfully suffer. Every team member has a personal story that has brought us here to advocate for you and your family. We want to replace your burden with peace of mind. We have the answers, but more important, we have your back.Bellomo & Associates, LLC advises Individuals and families, business owners, senior citizens, and their families about the estate planning and elder law challenges facing them today. For seniors and their families facing the issues of aging, or for those of any age who wish to protect their familys financial future, we counsel clients and provide solutions on Asset Protection; Specials Needs Trusts; Wills; Trust Design; Medicaid; Estate Planning; Nursing Home Matters; and Estate Administration. For our clients who own businesses, our team assists them with succession planning for their business in conjunction with their estate planning.  We have office locations in York, PA, and Lancaster, PA.We offer FREE workshops!  Our workshops are fun and entertaining ways to learn! We provide you with the information to decide what is right for you. If after attending, you decide we arent the right fit no problem! Youll never feel any pressure from our team.