When A Death Occurs

Posted on

Sep 14, 2021


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When a death occurs, the order in which things need to be done often depends on where the death occurred. But, one thing should always be remembered: your heightened emotional state upon the death of a loved one. That's why we suggest that you ask a friend for help - someone who is more able to think clearly, and give you the support you need.
At Home or at Work
When a death occurs at home or in the workplace, a family member or co-worker should contact emergency personnel and the person's physician if he or she was under a doctor's care. If the death occurs at home with family or friends present, and the person is under a physician's care, the family will want to call us directly.
However, if the death occurs in a residence and no one is there at the time of death, the police will need to be notified and respond to the residence before the deceased is removed from their home.
If in any case you are not sure of who to notify or what to do, you may call (801) 363-6641, and we'll assist you in notifying the proper agencies.
While Under Supervised Care
When a death occurs in a care facility, such as a hospital or nursing home, the professional staff will notify you and the necessary authorities. If the name of the funeral home has been left with them, the institution will notify the funeral home at the time of the death. The funeral director will contact you immediately following their notification to help you proceed. (However, we suggest you contact the funeral home immediately, so you've got the reassurance you need that all is taken care of properly.)
If a loved one was in the care of a hospice program, a hospice representative will give family members instructions and procedures to follow. The coroner/medical examiner will be notified by hospice. Following their release the hospice will contact the funeral home. It is always a good idea for the family to contact us immediately so that we will be aware of the pending call from hospice.
Widening the Circle
Our staff members are experienced professionals who can provide much of the information you need, emotional support and compassionate guidance.
While you may ask the director any questions at this time, you will be able to discuss the arrangements in detail later when you meet in person. During this initial call, the funeral director will gather information to be able to transport your loved one to the funeral home.
The funeral director may ask you several questions, including whether your loved one made any pre-arrangements. The director will also schedule a date and time for you to meet at the funeral home and will let you know what you should bring with you. Others you will need to call are:
- Family members and friends
- Clergy or other spiritual advisors
Those Important Questions
If there is no pre-plan in place, there are several other questions that you may have to have answered in regards to the death of your loved one:
- Do I have to have embalming?
- Do I need to purchase a casket?
- What about cemetery arrangements?
- Does the family have to engage the services of a minister?
- What type of service should we have?
By contacting our staff, we'll be able to help answer your questions and assist in making the appropriate plans. You can reach us at (801) 363-6641.
However, as weve said before, one of the best ways to make sure that all of your questions and desires are taken care of is to make pre-arrangements. This is as simple as outlining your wishes to having all of the details written down and the financial arrangements prepaid. Please contact one of our staff at (801) 363-6641 to learn more about pre-arrangement.
What to Expect When You Arrive at the Funeral Home
One of the first things the funeral arranger will do is to provide you with our general price list. He or she will then guide you through the entire arrangement process, explaining how you can create a memorable personal celebration of your loved one's life. This is not a one-way conversation; we want to hear your ideas and desires, and use them as the foundation for the arrangement process.
This process may include:
- Preparing and filing the official death certificate
- Scheduling the location, date and time of services or events
- Selecting a casket, urn or other items
- Preparing an obituary notice
- Scheduling vehicles
- Selecting pallbearers
You may also sign necessary authorizations or make arrangements to have them signed by the appropriate family members.
Wed like you to bring any photos, a favorite song, or memorabilia so that you and your funeral arranger can better discuss how you would like your loved one to be remembered. Having these things, and knowing their favorite song or favorite gathering place even their favorite activity will help us create a truly fitting memorial service.
Our funeral arrangers will assist you in planning a loving tribute that captures the spirit of the person whose life you wish to honor. To learn more about personalizing the service, please read the Honoring Life section of this Web site. The funeral arranger will discuss personalization with you during your arrangement conference.
The following checklist will help you remember what information about the decedent and items will be needed when meeting with a funeral arranger.
- Full legal name- Home address
- Social Security number
- Date of birth
- Place of birth
- Father's name
- Mother's maiden name
- Veteran's discharge papers (DD-214)
- Recent Photograph
- Highest education
- Occupation
- Place of burial (if applicable)
- Clothing
- Clergy name and phone number
- Survivors (name and relationship)
- Insurance policies (if applicable)
A staff member of Neil O'Donnell Funeral Home will be honored to explain all of the options available to you.

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A simple checklist for making sure your obituary honors and informs.When a loved one has passed away, writing an obituary that honors their life can seem overwhelming. Dont worry - your obituary will honor their life simply by the act of you writing it. You want to celebrate your loved ones life and offer happy and enjoyable memories. You are helping to ease the pain of others simply by telling a story about your loved one.We hope that this checklist will take the stress and pressure off of you and allow you to honor your loved one. Remember, your funeral arranger is an experienced professional and is a valuable resource for writing the obituary.Include basic details about the persons lifeYou dont have to include all of this information, but here are the basics that are often included in an obituary. Choose the elements that are most relevant to your loved one: Age Any familial survivors Education Vocation When the person retired, if relevant Any military affiliations Any volunteer affiliations Include funeral informationFamily and friends often rely on an obituary for information on when and where a persons life will be celebrated, so your obituary will make it very simple for them to get that information (and will save you the hassle of having to answer lots of questions at a time when you would prefer not to be bothered with small details). You can include: Date and time of the funeral Place the funeral is being held Any viewing details Request for donations in lieu of flowers

How To Write A Eulogy - Jefferson Memorial Cemetery & Funeral Home

The thought of public speaking throws many people into a panic. Add to that fear the common discomfort of discussing death, and it's easy to understand why the idea of delivering a eulogy can be disconcerting. If you've been asked to write a eulogy, take heart. This article will help you put your fears in perspective so you can deliver a loving eulogy."Why me?"You were probably asked to deliver a eulogy because of your close relationship to the deceased, and because the family trusts you to honor his or her memory on behalf of family and friends. The family doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, foolish or as though your grief is on display. It's an honor they've bestowed upon you. Helping others say goodbye may turn out to be a rewarding experience. Don't worry about making mistakes. A eulogy comes from the heart of the deliverer. I can't see how a mistake could be made as long as it is honest and true."I can't write."Don't let the thought of writing intimidate you. You don't have to be a novelist to move people. Everyone has a story to tell and that's your job as a eulogist. Tell people your story.In the book "A Labor of Love: How to Write a Eulogy," author Garry Schaeffer says a eulogy should convey the feelings and experiences of the person giving the eulogy, and should be written in an informal, conversational tone. Schaeffer dispels the misconceptions that a eulogy should objectively summarize the person's life or speak for all present. Sit down and write from the heart.Eulogists often write about the person's attributes, memories and common times that were shared together. Sometimes they include the deceased's favorite poems, book passages, scripture verses, quotes, expressions, lines from songs or items that were written by the deceased. Whatever is selected, it generally reflects the loved one's lifestyle.These questions should get you thinking: How did you and the deceased become close? Is there a humorous or touching event that represents the essence of your passed loved one? What did you and others love and admire about the deceased? What will you miss most about him or her? Some of the simplest thoughts are deeply touching and easy for those congregated to identify with. For example, "I'll miss her smile," or "I'll never forget the way he crinkled his nose when he laughed," are just as good as "I admired her selflessness.""I can't speak in front of people."It may not be easy, but you can do it. A funeral is one time you'll surely have a kind and empathetic audience. They feel for you and are on your side. You'll only have to speak for five to ten minutes, but your gift will live in the hearts of the deceased's family and friends.If you're worried about choking up or breaking down in the middle of your eulogy, you can take a moment to compose yourself, then carry on, as Schaeffer recommends, or you can have a back up person ready to step in. Give a copy of your eulogy to the minister or funeral director so that person can finish the eulogy if you're unable to continue.Tips Be honest and focus on the person's positive qualities Humor is acceptable if it fits the personality of the deceased. "If you are inclined to be a perfectionist, lower your expectations and just do what you can given the short time-frame and your emotional state," writes Schaeffer in "Labor of Love." Keep it brief. Five to ten minutes is the norm, but it's a good idea to verify that with the minister or funeral director. Leo Saguin recommends interviewing family and friends in his book "How to Write and Deliver a Loving Eulogy." Put the eulogy on paper - at least in outline form. Eulogy or Sharing Time?If you're planning the funeral, you might want to consider "sharing time" as an alternative to a eulogy. In sharing time, the people congregated pass a microphone or take turns standing up to share their thoughts. It's like a lot of mini eulogies and is more spontaneous.Links Offering Examples Mona Simpson, sister to Steve Jobs, delivered a heart wrenching eulogy that was posted in The New York Times on October 30, 2011 - Click here to read it in its entirety. Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher's eulogy for President Ronald Reagan was telecast at his services in 2005 as she remembered her friend. Click here to read it in its entirety. Books Offering Help, Examples and Inspiration Books Offering Help, Examples and Inspiration "The Book of Eulogies: A Collection of Memorial Tributes, Poetry, Essays, and Letters of Condolence" by Phyllis Theroux (editor) "How to Write and Deliver a Loving Eulogy" by Leo Seguin "Final Celebrations: A Guide for Personal and Family Funeral Planning" by Kathleen Sublette and Martin Flagg "In Memoriam: A Practical Guide to Planning a Memorial Service" by Amanda Bennett and Terence B. Foley "My Deepest Sympathies: Meaningful Sentiments for Condolence Notes and Conversations, Plus a Guide to Eulogies" by Florence Isaacs "Remembering Well: Rituals for Celebrating Life and Mourning Death" by Sarah York "Readings for Remembrance: A Collection for Funerals and Memorial Services" by Eleanor C. Munro (introduction) "Remembrances and Celebrations: A Book of Eulogies, Elegies, Letters, and Epitaphs" by Jill Werman Harris (editor)

How To Choose Speakers For A Funeral

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