Why Do We Feel Bad About Feeling Bad?
Apr 05, 2021
Florida - Southwest
Email US
Click to Email Us
I remember the first time I encountered it.
I was young, maybe 8 or 9, and it happened shortly after my best friends father shot himself in the woods outside of his home. As you can imagine, this was a horrible, terribly confusing experience, especially at a time when these kinds of things werent discussed. I can still remember the look on my friends face when he told me the truth.
It happened again in high school, this time when another friend pushed his love affair with drugs a bridge too far, leading to a psychotic episode that has never fully resolved. My heart still breaks for the person I knew before his life changed forever -- smart, sharply irreverent, endlessly curious about the world and his place in it. We lost a good man on the altar of human suffering.
In both of these sad situations, and in many similar instances in between, I have seen the reality of mental illness cruelly played out in the forum of public opinion:
His father was kind of strange anyway
Wow, hes really crazy now
And, my personal favorite, Shes so nuts; I would never want to be her!
Im sure you have a few of your own to add to this pile. Not pretty.
The Power of Fear
So, all of this begs the questions: Why is this? How did it get this way? Why arent we more enlightened on the issue of mental illness than we are?
I have a few thoughts.
First, we are a deeply social species, and we all want to be part of the tribe. Anything that makes us different, unlovable, less than, or unpopular risks our membership in the group -- and nobody wants to be left out.
This is a kind of mean girls view of this dynamic, although, to be fair, this is not exclusive to women. The effects of shame, alienation, and shunning are everywhere, and we all bear responsibility for doing our share to be inclusive.
Second, we are all, more or less, instinctually fearful of the other, whether he or she is of another race, ethnicity or sexual orientation, or -- in the darker regions of our psyches -- someone we recognize in ourselves.
( Just as an editorial aside, this is what I believe drives the genre of modern horror films that scares and fascinates us. Sigmund Freud, the genius father of psychoanalysis, was among the first to lay this out for what it is: a fear of our dark parts that leads us to self-protectively project shame, ridicule, and ruthless judgment as a defense against feeling afraid and inadequate. His analysis is made for our times as we struggle with the growing pains of becoming an increasingly diverse society.)
Human healing
So whats the solution to all of this? Another brief story, if you dont mind.
Gordon Derner, the maverick dean of my Ph.D. program, made it a point to let all first-year doctoral students know that, in his opinion, there was no distinction between patients and therapists. To him, we are all broken in one way or another, a seemingly grim observation mitigated by his abiding optimism that everyone could be healed through the grace of human relationships.
He was channeling his own mentor, Harry Stack Sullivan, the brilliant and courageous denizen of interpersonal psychoanalysis who made it his lifes mission to treat all people with respect, compassion, and dignity.
The bottom line: Stigma about feeling bad, having issues, or just plain being unhappy is something that defines us all. Its just what it means to be human.
The sooner we can accept, with love and compassion, this reality in ourselves and others, the sooner we can help one another get what we all need. Lets get on with it.
Lee Health Behavioral Health Services:
Discover how important you are
Lee Health Behavioral Health Services an outpatient facility provides friendly and compassionate psychiatric and counseling services along with plenty of other mental health resources. We evaluate your condition, manage your medication, and implement a plan to help you feel better. You will find a trained therapist who is right for you a caring and attentive person who will connect with you and empower you to tackle your problems.For more information or to schedule an appointment please call 239-343-9180.
We treat conditions such as:
Anxiety disorders
Personality disorders
Mood disorders
Phobias
Postpartum depression
Submitted and Written By: Lee Health - click here for more information
Other Articles You May Like
Our hearts are dedicated to yours
At Lee Health, you have everything you need to take care of your heart health. Our expert cardiovascular team is the largest and most experienced in Southwest Florida. No matter where you are in your health care journey, our experts are alongside you every step of the way. Lee Health Heart Institute includes primary and specialty care, nationally ranked hospitals, Shipley Cardiothoracic Center, cardiac rehabilitation and moreall in a safe and comforting environment. Were ready to help you stay active, engaged and prepared to enjoy the important things in life.The Lee Health Heart Institute is nationally recognized for excellence in cardiovascular care. HealthPark Medical Center has been recognized as a PINC AI I Fortune 50 Top Cardiology Hospital in the country and 1 of only 6 hospitals recognized in Florida and the only hospital in Southwest Florida underscoring Lee Healths commitment to exceptional cardiovascular care and medical excellence in the region. The Lee Health Heart Institute ranks 9th in the nation and top 3 in Florida through its PINC designation. Our dedication to advancing heart health is evident through ongoing clinical trials, published research, and 11 abstracts presented at the American College of Cardiology Scientific Sessions. Heart Institute Locations Near YouThe Heart Institute incorporates cardiovascular services, cardiology, and cardiothoracic surgery. Locate Lee Health Heart Institute clinics near you for convenient locations including experienced cardiologists, cardiothoracic surgeons, and more. Dedicated cardiovascular health to patients located minutes from Cape Coral, Fort Myers, Naples, Lehigh Acres, Estero, and Bonita Springs.Cardiothoracic Surgery - Heart Institute at Shipley Cardiothoracic Center9981 S HealthPark Dr, Suite 156 Fort Myers, FL 33908Phone number(239) 343-6341 Cardiology - Heart Institute at Bass Road16261 Bass Rd, Suite 300 Fort Myers, FL 33908Phone number(239) 343-6410Cardiology - Heart Institute at Cape Coral Hospital708 Del Prado Blvd, Suite 7 Cape Coral, FL 33990Phone number(239) 424-3660Cardiology - Heart Institute at Coconut Point23450 Via Coconut Point Estero, FL 34135Phone number(239) 468-0121Cardiology - Heart Institute at Medical Plaza One9800 S HealthPark Dr, Suite 320 Fort Myers, FL 33908Phone number(239) 343-6350Cardiology - Heart Institute at Metro Parkway13340 Metro Pkwy, Suite 200 Fort Myers, FL 33966Phone number(239) 343-0550Cardiology - Heart Institute at Sanctuary8960 Colonial Center Dr, Suite 302 Fort Myers, FL 33905Phone number(239) 343-9700
National Cancer Survivors Month
June is National Cancer Survivor Month, a time to celebrate, support, and raise awareness about cancer survivorship.There are more than 18 million cancer survivors in the U.S.Statistics from the National Cancer Institute (NCI) project that the number will grow to 26 million by 2040.More than 2 million people in the U.S. will be diagnosed with cancer in 2025.The NCI projects that an estimated 618,120 people in the U.S. will die from the disease in 2025.Be a part of the NCA Difference and support our mission of improving the care of cancer patients through our no-cost second-opinion services. Your support helps improve patient outcomes and peace of mind!
Tips for Managing Sentimental Items During Senior Moves
Tips for Managing Sentimental Items During Senior MovesHelping Seniors Let Go with Grace, Love, and SupportMoving is never just about the boxes. For seniors, its often about leaving behind decades of memories, milestones, and meaningful items collected over a lifetime. Each photograph, teacup, and holiday ornament tells a story. And when its time to downsize, those items become more than stuffthey become emotional touchpoints.At A Call to Order Professional Organizer, we understand that moving a senior is more than a physical transition. Its a deeply personal and emotional journey. Families often find this part of the move to be the most challengingnavigating the emotions wrapped around keepsakes, gifts, and family treasures.Heres a loving and simple guide to help families and seniors navigate this sensitive part of the move with dignity, compassion, and peace of mind.Understanding the Emotional Value Behind Sentimental ItemsIts not about the object. Its about what it represents.One of the most difficult tasks seniors face when moving is choosing what to keep and what to let go of. The value of sentimental items isnt measured in dollarsits in the memories and emotions they hold.At A Call to Order, we always start with understanding. Listen to the stories. That vintage cookie jar might remind mom of her childrens laughter, or that faded armchair may have been dads favorite reading spot. Validating these emotions builds trust and makes the next step easier.Here are a few gentle strategies we use to help:1. Start Early, Start SmallGive your loved one plenty of time. Begin with items that carry less emotional weight, like extra kitchenware or linens. Building momentum with easy decisions can prepare the heart for tougher choices.2. Use the One Box RuleLimit sentimental keepsakes to one memory box or trunk. This makes it easier to prioritize what truly matters. Choosing with intention helps seniors feel more in control and less overwhelmed.3. Digitize What You CanScanning letters, photos, or childrens artwork is a wonderful way to preserve memories without the physical bulk. Its a beautiful project that can even become a family bonding activity.4. Create a Legacy, Not a Storage UnitEncourage seniors to share their cherished items with children, grandchildren, or close friends. Write a note with each gift explaining why its special. Turning sentimental items into heirlooms ensures theyll be treasured, not just stored.Supporting Seniors with Love and StructureWith the right support, letting go can feel like giving, not losing.Helping a senior downsize means stepping into their emotional world. Our work is rooted in compassion, patience, and professionalismand thats what sets senior move managers apart. Families no longer want fast; they want gentle and thoughtful transitions.Heres how to create a supportive environment for decision-making:1. Set Clear Goals, Not DeadlinesIts not just a move; its a life transition. Respect the time it takes to process memories. Set daily or weekly goals instead of strict timelines, and celebrate every milestonebig or small.2. Use a Sorting System That Feels EmpoweringWe often recommend a four-pile method: Keep, Donate, Gift, and Recycle. This gives seniors control over the destination of their belongings, which helps reduce anxiety and fosters a sense of purpose.3. Make Space for ReflectionMoving can stir up grief. Allow time for tears and stories. Encourage loved ones to journal, share memories, or even record video messages about the items theyre parting with.4. Ask for HelpSometimes, professional help makes all the difference. Our team at A Call to Order specializes in compassionate organizing and senior move management. Were not just organizerswere listeners, supporters, and gentle guides through lifes biggest transitions.In Closing: Its About Holding On to What Matters MostHelping a senior manage sentimental items during a move is about love. Its about honoring their past while helping them embrace a lighter, more peaceful future. At A Call to Order, we walk beside families every step of the waybecause we believe a move can be a moment of connection, not stress.Let us help you and your loved ones make space for what truly matterswith kindness, patience, and care. Ready to get started with a heart-centered move?Visit www.acalltoorderco.com or call us at 719-231-5425.Your story mattersand were here to help you tell it, one organized step at a time.FOLLOW USLinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/acalltoorderco/Facebook Page:https://www.facebook.com/ACalltoOrderInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/acalltoorderco/
Local Services By This Author
Lee Health - Rehabilitation - Transitional Facilities
Rehabilitation -Transitional Facilities , Fort Myers, Florida,Lee Health is a leading healthcare provider in Southwest Florida, offering award-winning care and comprehensive services to meet the diverse needs of our community. Our mission is to provide quality service with personal attention, ensuring that every patient receives the best possible care.At Lee Health, we understand that finding the right care can be overwhelming. That's why we offer a range of services, from in-person care to virtual visits, urgent care, and emergency care, to ensure that you can access the care you need, when you need it. Our team of experienced physicians and specialists are dedicated to providing compassionate, personalized care to each and every patient.In addition to our clinical services, Lee Health is committed to providing resources and support to our community. Through our learning center, blog, and webinars, we strive to educate and empower individuals to take control of their health and wellness.As part of our commitment to excellence, Lee Health is currently conducting an evaluation of our business structure to ensure that we are meeting the highest standards of quality and efficiency. We invite you to explore our website to learn more about our services, find a doctor, and discover how Lee Health can help you and your family live healthier lives.
Lee Health - Support Groups & Services
Support Groups & Services , Fort Myers, Florida,Lee Health is a leading healthcare provider in Southwest Florida, offering award-winning care and comprehensive services to meet the diverse needs of our community. Our mission is to provide quality service with personal attention, ensuring that every patient receives the best possible care.At Lee Health, we understand that finding the right care can be overwhelming. That's why we offer a range of services, from in-person care to virtual visits, urgent care, and emergency care, to ensure that you can access the care you need, when you need it. Our team of experienced physicians and specialists are dedicated to providing compassionate, personalized care to each and every patient.In addition to our clinical services, Lee Health is committed to providing resources and support to our community. Through our learning center, blog, and webinars, we strive to educate and empower individuals to take control of their health and wellness.As part of our commitment to excellence, Lee Health is currently conducting an evaluation of our business structure to ensure that we are meeting the highest standards of quality and efficiency. We invite you to explore our website to learn more about our services, find a doctor, and discover how Lee Health can help you and your family live healthier lives.
Lee Health
Emergency Departments for Seniors 4211 Metro Parkway, Fort Myers, Florida, 33916Lee Health is a leading healthcare provider in Southwest Florida, offering award-winning care and comprehensive services to meet the diverse needs of our community. Our mission is to provide quality service with personal attention, ensuring that every patient receives the best possible care.At Lee Health, we understand that finding the right care can be overwhelming. That's why we offer a range of services, from in-person care to virtual visits, urgent care, and emergency care, to ensure that you can access the care you need, when you need it. Our team of experienced physicians and specialists are dedicated to providing compassionate, personalized care to each and every patient.In addition to our clinical services, Lee Health is committed to providing resources and support to our community. Through our learning center, blog, and webinars, we strive to educate and empower individuals to take control of their health and wellness.As part of our commitment to excellence, Lee Health is currently conducting an evaluation of our business structure to ensure that we are meeting the highest standards of quality and efficiency. We invite you to explore our website to learn more about our services, find a doctor, and discover how Lee Health can help you and your family live healthier lives.