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Caring for someone with dementia can be mentally draining and physically exhausting. If you are providing the bulk of care for a loved one especially if your loved one has dementia you may be experiencing these feelings.Caregiver burnout is a very real problem. Its well documented that over time, your physical and mental health will suffer as a result of everything youre taking on. Your situation may not be sustainable over a long period of time and could ultimately be dangerous for you and the person you are caring for. There are many symptoms of caregiver burnout. Here are a few of the most serious.Lack of SleepOften, someone who suffers from dementia has an irregular sleep cycle. This can lead to a lack of sleep and rest for the caregiver as well. You may also not be sleeping because youre worried your loved one will wander out of the home or take a fall and hurt themselves if youre not constantly watching them. Not getting enough sleep can affect your mood, memory and health in really surprising ways. According to Johns Hopkins researchers, sleep deprivation can lead to your own risk for dementia!Health ProblemsWhen you spend the majority of time caring for others, caring for yourself takes a hit! A lack of attention to your own needs can lead to negative changes in your own health maybe youve been missing regular checkups, or other important screenings like a mammogram or prostate exam and more. Perhaps you arent spending enough time addressing your mental health. The link between mental and physical health has been well documented. Depression can cause real physical ailments such as back pain, irritable bowel syndrome and even make you more susceptible to strokes and certain types of cancer! Please keep these things in mind and remember: there is a reason that flight attendants tell you to put on your mask first before you help others you cant effectively help your loved one unless you help yourself first.Financial StrainMost often, undertaking a caregiving role is unpaid with no benefits. If you must or choose to devote yourself full-time to your loved one, you probably dont have another paying job OR you may be working irregular hours to manage a part time job as well as your caregiving duties in order to get by. According to the AARP, caregivers spend on average 20% of their income on caregiving expenses. This includes home modifications, medications, insurance premiums, additional food and personal supplies and more .Financial stress has a costly impact on your health, relationships and more.AngerLets be honest, the difficulties of caring for someone else can make you frustrated and angry at times. This is a normal, typical emotion. Particularly if you are new to your role and have lots to learn about the disease, you may find yourself feeling extra frustrated with your loved one are they faking this? Why are they so stubborn? Cant they remember? First, dont beat yourself up. What you are doing is hard. Acknowledge your feelings, forgive yourself for feeling anger and know you arent alone. It may be helpful to talk to a friend or therapist or to commiserate with other caregivers at a support group.IsolationSometimes the pivot to becoming a caregiver involves leaving socializing with friends, hobbies and relaxing behind because you feel that instead of focusing on maintaining relationships and experiencing joy yourself, you must prioritize your caregiving tasks. Withdrawing from the things you love can cause you to become lonely and isolated. Its absolutely pertinent that you take time for yourself and do things that bring you joy. Whether its practicing yoga, going for a run, getting dinner or drinks with a friend, crafting or even just taking a drive by yourself please prioritize yourself and your well-being. You are important too. Taking advantage of respite care may be helpful to you. Many communities, including The Meriwether, offer temporary or respite stays so you can travel or simply take a break. Or seeking help from others inside your home could be an option to pursue.If youre experience any of the things mentioned above, we encourage you to ask for help. There are tools and resources available including:Online ResourcesOrganizations such as the Alzheimers Association, AARPand the Family Caregiver Alliance all offer lists of tips and resources to consider. Click on each below to be taken directly to information on resources each organization provides.Alzheimers AssociationAARPFamily Caregiver AllianceSupport GroupsCheck out whats available in your local area. Click on each link below.Alzheimers Association Resource FinderFamily Caregiver AllianceHome CareGetting some help inside your home may provide you some relief. The Home Care Association of America has a search function on their website and could be a good place to start.If none of the options above work for you, know that trained memory care professionals are often better equipped to help with those with memory loss. If memory care is something that youre looking to explore,reach out to our team about what help and support we may be able to provide to you!

Many adult children in the US live far away from their parents. Managing aging parents or in-law medical events can be a serious challenge without proper preparation and understanding of what your parents' wishes may or may not be, no matter where you live. Do you know what legal documentation your parents have in place regarding their medical care? Do they have advance directives that can help guide your medical decision-making process? Do you and your spouse openly discuss the situations of each other's parents?Medical advancements increase the longevity for aging Americans, even those with comorbidities such as high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney disease, atrial fibrillation, and other health issues. Hospitals can typically fix non-life-threatening conditions easily enough, but what happens when a parent is released to return home? Are you prepared? Is there a plan? Many adult children tend to practice avoidance, denial, and wishful thinking regarding their aging parents potential medical crisis. It is advisable to organize and prepare for the health changes that inevitably come as your parents age.More than ever, seniors are choosing to live independently and with autonomy regarding their life decisions. Even if your parents are in a well-run continuing care retirement community, there will come a day when their health will force a change in their lifestyle and living arrangements. Many parents will resist "help," which they may view to be interference. Whether they believe they are being a burden to you or they decline a geriatric care manager's services due to cost concerns, most older people do not want others interfering in their private affairs.The goal is to find a way to help while still affording your parents the dignity and respect they want and deserve. To achieve a comprehensive plan on your parents' behalf, travel to them for an honest discussion. If this is not possible due to COVID-19 restrictions, then virtual meetings are best, followed by phone calls.Review what legal paperwork your parents have and make sure it is in order. Many documents have a signature from many years ago, and things may have changed. The main health care related documents that should be kept current are the health care power of attorney, HIPAA and an advance directive/living will. If these documents have not been reviewed in at least 10 years, it is recommended that you call our office to set up a free consultation.Create an up-to-date list of all your parents' doctors. The list should include medical contact information and all medicines (prescription or otherwise) that they take. Post-hospital fog and newly prescribed medications from an adverse health event can create confusion in an older parent. Ask about the parameters for health care intervention, such as dialysis and post-hospital during the time of COVID-19.Explain to your parents that being released from a hospital for a non-life-threatening, yet serious health episode is usually followed by the need for a care manager, at-home nursing care, or companion care. This additional care should not fall to a spouse if the parents live together. A spouse has their own unique role to fill as well as personal health challenges with which to contend. Heaping an increased responsibility for spousal health care upon them may be damaging to their own well-being.Before an unforeseen medical crisis can occur, identify several qualified agencies in your parents' hometown. Review each agency and candidate carefully. It is easier to integrate a suitable candidate at the outset than having the chaos of retaining and releasing multiple workers. Remember that a candidate who works for one parent may not be another parent's preference in the future. Maintain a strong relationship with the agency provider. They are an essential resource, and you will probably need them in the future.Take the time to learn the specifics of your parents' healthcare and living arrangements. Coordinating your plan of response is contingent upon whether your parents live independently, in assisted living, or in a retirement community. Wherever it is your parents live, their first desire will likely be to go home after an unexpected hospitalization. The desire to return home is a universal truth. Knowing the agencies that can quickly provide the type of care your parent needs in their home setting will go a long way towards a successful transition. The road to recovery may require a few weeks of nurse visits, physical or occupational therapists, or simply companionship. The faster you can meet the need, the easier it will be on your parent.If a full recovery is not possible, what will be your plan to address the new status of their normal? How much more medical oversight and assistance will they require? Know that in these instances, a parent can quickly spend through Medicare allotments afforded for temporary care. If they do not have long-term care, and many aging Americans do not, you will have to find ways to help them receive the care that they require.If there are multiple adult children, is there an expectation that all siblings share information and work on the problems at hand, or is one in charge? Is this designation formally documented? Managing sibling relationships is key to avoiding family conflict. Also, understand your parents' financial arrangements. It is likely that your parents will ask about the cost of any new healthcare service being arranged and decline using it. It is hard for a parent to spend down the money they worked their entire life to amass.Knowing your parents' aging strategies will not address every issue you might encounter because they may not have all the necessary decisions and documents in order. You can only work within the authority they choose to provide. As attorneys, we can help identify gaps in their planning and recommend ways to fill those gaps so everyone can have peace of mind. If youd like to discuss ways we can help, please dont hesitate to reach out.

Its well-documented that caregivers often suffer from emotional and physical health problems because of their overwhelming caregiving duties. According to theMayo Clinic, caregiver stress is common. In fact, one in three American adults cares for a family member, and this figure is sure to rise.a caregiver, you might not realize you're facing caregiver burnout, but friends and family are often the first ones to notice that your behavior is different. Luckily, these folks can be your greatest supporters during the caregiving journey. Here are three factors that may indicate you're facing caregiver burnout. You have a short fuse. When we try to do too much and are feeling overwhelmed, we often lash out at those around us. If you find yourself being grumpy or snippy, having a short fuse or getting easily frustrated with people and life, you may be experiencing caregiver overload. To combat this behavior, take a deep breath and count to 10 before reacting to any situation. Those 10 seconds can give you a much-needed mental health break, and its a great way to start a meditation practice. Imagining you are in a happy place and breathing intentionally could help you be better prepared to handle stressful situations with grace.You are withdrawing from social gatherings. If you are feeling that you just don't have the energy or desire to attend family gatherings or meet up with friends, you may be experiencing caregiver burnout. Caregivers often take on way more responsibilities than they can handle, leaving them feeling that they have no time for themselves. This can lead to feelings of sadness and even depression. Self-care is not selfish. Your loved one may need you, but you also need to be healthy and happy to be the best caregiver you can be. That does not mean you have to be on 24/7. Take time for yourself by asking friends and family to take over caregiving duties one day a week, so you can attend an exercise class, take a hike, get a massage, read a book or just sleep in. The little things matter to caregivers and any help is appreciated. You are getting sick more often and not fully recovering. Burnout results in a lowered immune system, making you a target for illness. According to Health Central, long-term caregiving can shorten your life by about eight years. Thats a sobering statistic and one that needs to change. If you find yourself getting sick a lot or never fully feeling 100%, you may need to take some time off to regroup. The best caregiver is a healthy caregiver. If you are sick, you cant fully care for your loved one. And being sick around an older adult can pose a threat to them too. Its common for caregivers to put their loved ones above themselves, but that is a slippery slope and can backfire. Caregiving is not for the faint of heart. Its hard work and can be a rollercoaster of emotions. But you can handle it with a little self-care, and a little help from your friends and family.

Undue Influence is when someone pressures another in such a way that the person being influenced is not acting by their own free will; they are being coerced into taking a certain action. Undue influence often arises when a friend family member falls ill. For example, mom has been diagnosed with cancer and her boyfriend influences her to change her estate plan so that all moms assets go to him instead of to her kids. The plan is oftentimes carried out in secret and others dont know about what has been done until after the one being influenced passes away.Undue influence is an argument that can be brought up in court to undo what the bad actor has done. Continuing the above example, moms children can file a petition to have the boyfriends actions undone if the court finds that the boyfriend was guilty of undue influence on mom. A will can be thrown out, property transfers can be undone, and the bad actors name can be taken off accounts. In order to win a case for undue influence, one must prove not just that the decision maker was persuaded by another to take a certain action, but that the person was coerced. Meaning, either the influenced person didnt have the capacity to make the decision, or they were tricked into doing so.When analyzing the case, the court will look at all kinds of evidence, including:Was the action in line with, or opposed to, recent decisions before the person fell ill?Is the new act in line with previous decisions regarding that property?Did the bad actor have authority or control over the person making the decision?Was the bad actor physically involved in carrying out the decision? For example, did the bad actor drive the person to the appointment, arrange for the decision to be carried out, or physically help guide the persons signature?Was the act kept a secret?Did the bad actor keep the decision maker from contact from family and friends?Was the decision maker in a vulnerable position?Had a physician made a determination of capacity?In many cases, undue influence arises when the decision maker lacks capacity. Capacity means that the individual knows what is happening and understands the consequences of their decision. When someone falls ill or has a disease like dementia, they are in a vulnerable spot and can be taken advantage of because they become unaware of the actions that are being taken or the full effect of what they mean.If an individual lacks capacity, then hopefully they had executed a power of attorney while they were healthy and now their agent can act on their behalf. An agent has a duty to act in the incapacitated individuals best interests. If proper planning was not done, then a guardianship may be needed. This is where a court process is initiated so that a judge can appoint someone to act on the incapacitated persons behalf.There are always two sides to every coin. In some situations, the decision maker intends to be favorable to one person over another. For example, one child is a caretaker to the parent and the parents will is more favorable to that child. If the child called the lawyer to set the appointment and drove the parent to that appointment, that could look like undue influence when in fact, it wasnt. The parent could have had the intent that the caretaker child receives more inheritance. A situation like this might lead to litigation if the parent didnt plan in advance, while they were healthy and obviously had capacity. Some elder law attorneys might also suggest that the client talk to the other children and explain what the will says and why one child will receive more. Sometimes it isnt the best surprise after the parent has died to learn that a sibling will receive more inheritance.Many people need to look out for undue influence and capacity issues, including attorneys, financial advisors, bankers, notaries, and medical personnel. Things to look out for:Does the decision maker appear coherent and aware of what is going on?Do you see any signs of physical abuse, such as bruises or scrapes?Do you see any signs of emotional abuse, such as the bad actor putting the decision maker down or calling them names?Do the decision makers actions seem out of the ordinary for them?Are there ever any other friends or family members with them, or only just the two of them?Does the bad actor let the decision maker speak, or does the bad actor control the conversation?Has the bad actor refused to let you speak to the decision maker alone?Undue influence can cause an individual to take actions that they normally wouldnt. These actions can have adverse consequences on friends and family. But most importantly, the individuals intent is not carried out. Instead, the bad actors intent is carried out. It is important that each individual gets to decide what happens with themselves and their belongings during their life and at death. It is important to have legal documents in place to best protect yourself from being unduly influenced in the event that your health deteriorates.Contact Elder Law of Omaha today at (402) 614-6400 to ensure that you have your legal documents in place with a trusted individual assigned as your power of attorney.