Conversations That Count

Posted on

Dec 11, 2014

Book/Edition

Idaho - Boise and the Treasure Valley

Throughout the years that I have been in healthcare I have learned many things by observing the families that I am serving. One of the most important lessons that I have learned is to have conversations that count before a crisis. I have tried to live that out. I vividly remember at the age of 30 before I had my first child completing my advanced directives. Having children made certain things real for me. I didn't want my husband or my children to ever have to make difficult choices for me if I was facing a life threatening condition. I didn't want them to feel guilty or scared that they may have made the wrong decisions on my behalf. Every adult should have an advanced directive (also known as a living will and durable power of attorney for health care). An advanced directive is simply your written instructions about your future medical care. I have found over the years many people do not have an advanced directive because they are fearful about having honest conversations about both their desires and fears regarding end of life issues. It is also especially hard for adult children to sit down with their aging parents to encourage them to put their wishes in writing. Remember, you cannot assume that you know what someone else needs or wants. So before you start any conversation keep in mind that the purpose of the conversation is not to impose your ideas on others but to learn what your family members think about their own end of life choices. There are many things that occur in daily life that can give you an opportunity to start conversations within your family. Conversation triggers can include the death of a friend or colleague, movies, sermons, annual medical checkups, and, of course, funerals. You can obtain a living will and durable power of attorney for health care from your local hospital, an attorney, or from the Idaho Secretary of State. Once your advanced directive is complete and you have discussed it with your family, be sure to share this information with your physician. This will increase the likelihood that your advanced directive is honored. Ultimately, this process is about more than completing the advanced directive. That matters, because it will guide final actions. However, what matters most is the actual conversation with the people you love so you can honor their wishes, come to terms with inevitable loss, and honor the cycle of life. Article by Honey Goodman, Community Relations Director for Treasure Valley Hospice. For more information or for speaking opportunities please call 467-7423

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