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Even though you know it’s coming, the role reversal that
comes with caring for aging parents can catch you by surprise. For many, this
switch happens when we notice a loved one is starting to struggle with hygiene
or personal care.
It’s not easy to know how to talk to your aging parents
about their hygiene, or how to offer your support while still respecting their
dignity. Understanding why personal care can be a challenge for some seniors,
along with actionable steps you can take to support your loved one's hygiene,
can help you handle this sensitive situation with confidence and compassion.
Why Do Seniors Struggle with Personal Care?
Activities of daily living (ADLs)—the basic self-care tasks
we perform regularly to stay healthy, such as bathing, dressing, grooming, and
toileting—can be challenging for seniors who have limited mobility, memory
loss, or other health conditions associated with aging.
Understanding why your older loved one may be struggling can
help you approach the topic with more empathy and less frustration. Common
challenges include:
Talking with Seniors About Hygiene & Personal Care
Timing, tone, and framing of the conversation all matter
when deciding how to talk to someone about hygiene. Now is not the time to rush
into a conversation that may come off as a confrontation. Think carefully about
how you want to proceed. After all, the goal is to open a door, not win an
argument.
Before the Conversation
As you prepare for your conversation with your elderly
parent, don’t just consider how to talk to your loved one about hygiene, but
also when and where. Avoid bringing up the topic during or after a stressful or
draining event. Instead, choose a calm, quiet moment when you know your loved
one is likely to be alert and open to hearing you.
Focus on leading with care and concern rather than
criticism. For example, you might say, “I want to make sure you feel
comfortable and well” instead of “I’ve noticed you haven’t been showering.”
This allows them to see you as genuinely interested in their well-being, rather
than trying to offend them or take away their independence.
In some cases, it can help to ask a doctor or trusted friend
to introduce the topic first. They may be able to lend credibility to your
concerns.
During the Conversation
As you talk with your senior parent, use “I” statements that
express your concern for their well-being. For example, instead of saying, “You
never keep up with hygiene anymore” (which can suggest blame or shame),
position it as your worry: “I want to make sure you have what you need to feel
clean and comfortable every day.”
Avoid using elderspeak,
and be respectful. Acknowledge your loved one’s desire for independence, and
involve them in the solution by asking what would make it easier for them.
Giving them the ability to be a part of the solution can help them feel less
defensive.
Remember to take their concerns seriously, particularly
regarding privacy. Many seniors resist help with bathing or toileting out of
embarrassment, and these feelings deserve to be addressed and validated. The
role reversal that often comes with aging is not just difficult for you; it can
be embarrassing for them to accept the change as well.
Most importantly, don't make threats. Stay positive and
emphasize the connection between hygiene and goals they care about. For
example, you might say, “I want you to feel confident when the grandkids visit”
or “I know staying in your home matters to you, and good hygiene helps make
that possible.” Framing it around their priorities—comfort, independence,
family time—centers the conversation on offering support rather than pressure.
Routines & Practical Strategies to Support Senior
Hygiene at Home
Once you've had the opportunity to talk about your concerns,
work with your senior parent to build practical strategies into their routine.
This can make staying on top of hygiene easier and more sustainable for both of
you.
Bathing & Grooming
The first step for many family caregivers in making bathing safer for seniors is adding
fall-preventing features. These simple upgrades can include grab bars, a shower
bench, and a handheld showerhead and can go a long way in helping your loved
one maintain their dignity and independence.
A consistent bath schedule can also be helpful. Many people
find comfort in a routine. You can set the schedule according to when your
parent typically has the most energy. For days when your loved one doesn't have
the energy for a full shower, keep no-rinse bathing products on hand, and walk
your loved one through how to use them for freshening up.
If hair care is a struggle, it might be time to turn hair
appointments or manicures into
a regular habit. In-home hair care may be an option if getting to the salon or
barbershop is a challenge.
Oral Hygiene
Oral hygiene for seniors often slips through the cracks—with
potentially serious consequences. Poor oral hygiene is linked to aspiration
pneumonia (a leading cause of hospitalization)
and cardiovascular disease. It can also make diabetes harder to control.
Providing your older loved one with an easy-to-manage
electric toothbrush and scheduling regular trips to the dentist can help you
stop dental problems before they start.
If your elderly parent has dentures, remind them to rinse
their dentures after eating when possible, and to brush dentures and their own
teeth/gums with a soft brush daily. Soaking dentures overnight with a mild
soaking solution will also help them stay fresh.
Skin Care
Seniors’
skin becomes more fragile naturally during the aging process. It can
be prone to issues like dryness, breakdown, and infection. This means moisturizing and checking skin for damage should be part of your loved one’s daily care routine.
Family caregivers should watch for rashes, cracks, and other
sores, and seek medical attention if there’s any suspicion the skin is infected
or doesn't seem to be healing properly.
An easy way to broach this subject is to ask your senior
parent if they have enough towels and supplies and can reach the sink easily to
wash their face and hands regularly. If it feels like it would be
well-accepted, gift them with moisturizing face wipes or lightly scented soap
designed for sensitive skin to make a skin care routine more enjoyable and
refreshing.
When to Consider In-Home Personal Care Services
Family caregivers often feel compelled to take on an
aging parent’s personal care tasks themselves. This can be physically and
emotionally exhausting for everyone involved—and potentially uncomfortable for
your loved one.
If you notice any of the following signs, professional
in-home personal care may be the right next step:
Frequently Asked Questions About Senior Hygiene
What happens if a senior doesn’t bathe or shower regularly?
Not bathing or showering regularly can increase an elderly
person’s risk of potentially serious health problems. These include skin
infections, fungal rashes, and urinary tract infections (UTIs). It can also
cause body odor and an unkempt appearance, which may lead to social isolation
and, in turn, bring on loneliness or depression.
How often should a senior wash their hair?
In general, seniors should wash their hair once or twice a
week. As we get older, the scalp produces less sebum (i.e., the waxy substance
that moisturizes hair and skin), so hair becomes drier. This means hair can be
washed less frequently with old age.
Dry shampoo and waterless, no-rinse shampoo can be helpful
for keeping the hair and scalp clean and odor-free between washes, or even as a
substitute for washing on days when showering can’t be managed.
Why do older people stop bathing or taking care of
themselves?
There are many reasons why a senior might neglect their
personal care or hygiene. They may be facing physical challenges like loss of
mobility or cognitive decline. Mental health issues like depression or anxiety
about falling are also common reasons some seniors stop bathing or taking care
of themselves.
How BrightStar Care® Supports Seniors'
Dignity with Personal Care Services
Helping an aging loved one with personal care is ultimately
about preserving their dignity and quality of life. It’s a physically and
emotionally taxing job, but you don't have to go it alone.
BrightStar Care offers in-home personal care services that can help your senior parent age comfortably in place. Our compassionate caregivers are experienced in assisting with activities of daily living (ADLs), such as bathing, grooming, toileting, eating, and other personal care needs while allowing for as much independence and privacy as possible.
Passions Grow, Passions Bloom: Cultivating Wellness at Willow Valley Communities Among the most popular passions at Willow Valley Communities is gardening. And, Residents here have a wide variety of ways to indulge. Three generous gardens are situated across our sprawling 210-acre campus for Residents to use in a multitude of configurations of their choosing. Willow Valley Communities hardworking Grounds Team tills each garden in the spring and plows them in the fall, making them ready for Residents to dig right in. Whether Residents are experienced pros or novices, gardening is a wonderful way for them to get outside, enjoy nature and each other, and learn new things. Some Residents have been gardening for decades, while others have only started gardening after moving to Willow Valley Communities. In keeping with our Life Lived Forward philosophy, some Willow Valley Communities Residents take their love of gardening to deeper levels. For example, several Residents from across the country have achieved the distinction of Master Gardener. Master Gardeners are certified in their home state, and the program can take six months to a year to complete and includes a minimum of 40 hours of classroom training, a score of 80 percent on the final exam, and 50 hours of volunteer service. In another example, Residents Annabelle Simpson and Susan Kelly worked with the Penn State Extension of the Pennsylvania State University to have one of their gardens certified as an official Pennsylvania Pollinator-Friendly Garden. The stunning garden is well-known for attracting huge numbers of bees, butterflies, insects, and birds, helping our ecosystem to thrive. Residents are also able to partner their gardening skills with their desire to volunteer and give back to the Lancaster community. With the areas rich, fertile soil, and the extra special care and attention the plants receive, Residents often have an abundance of vegetables and donate them regularly. Throughout the growing season, the Solanco Neighborhood Ministries food bank receives a variety of beans, lettuce, kale, peas, carrots, eggplant, cucumbers, peppers, tomatoes, spinach, and much more from Willow Valley Communities Resident gardens. Additionally, every fall, a harvest of hundreds of pounds of sweet potatoes and butternut squash goes to the Lancaster County Food Hub, a community resource for free, nutritious food and gently used clothing. Some Residents maintain gardening plots every year just for this purpose.Annabelle Simpson and Susan Kelly Gardening time is couple time for Residents Mike and Susan Ziegler. Sue is an avid gardener, and Mike loves being outdoors supporting her gardening passion at Willow Valley Communities. They both love being together in nature, and Sue is amazed by how magical gardening can be. Its just a miracle when the seeds come up, she says. Resident Pat Mortensen challenges herself every year by growing something completely different. Once she enjoyed a robust harvest of King Tut Purple Peas, a very rare garden pea said to have been taken out of the tomb of King Tut! Resident and Master Gardener Angela Booker-White is originally from Virginia but has lived all over the country. Her interest in gardening grew as she read and learned more about it. In her plot at Spring Run, Angela grows all sorts of fruits, vegetables, and flowers and always tries something new. She has the most success with seeds she purchases from the dollar store! Angela has also learned how gardening can help during challenging times. She is grateful to her garden, as well as to her fellow Willow Valley Communities gardeners, for helping her during the difficult time of her husbands unexpected passing. Gardeners, and she doesnt know exactly who, would come and help by doing extra work around her plot. Residents just came in and helped, Angela says. Weeding, cutting, trimming, harvesting whatever work needed to be done. Thats the way Residents are here at Willow Valley Communities: very supportive. Resident Keith Yoder, who coordinates the Spring Run Garden, is not at all surprised by the variety of gardeners at Willow Valley Communities or by the reasons they enjoy the activity so much. He agrees that gardening is definitely a hobby that enhances well-being. Though hes known this himself for years, he refers to an article put out by CNBC that states how gardening can add years to your life. And life to your years, Keith adds. Gardening gets you into nature. Its good exercise for your body and your mind plus, you get to eat what you grow!
The Willow Valley Communities Day Spa is a destination for wellness and renewal. Its a critical component of the comprehensive Mind, Body, Spirit approach to wellness of Willow Valley Communities. The Day Spa offers many ways to soothe, calm, invigorate, or rejuvenate. A full range of professional services, all performed by our attentive and inviting staff, allows Residents to create their own regimen for personal well-being and beauty. These services include manicures and pedicures, skin care, facials, revitalizing peels, waxing, tanning, microdermabrasion, and body treatments with a wide range of different massage modalities, wraps, and scrubs. The Relaxation Room, with its beautiful waterfall and Himalayan Salt Wall, is a main feature of The Day Spa. It provides a peaceful and well-appointed environment in which to relax and offers a perfect and welcome respite between services. Himalayan salt rich in negative ions and essential nutrients and minerals offers numerous health benefits for our bodies, such as stress reduction, energy increases, and mood boosts at a biochemical level. Day Spa Manager Diamando Wallace says, Self-care is essential. Although manicures and pedicures are a well-deserved treat, they offer so much more to Residents sense of well-being. You can see the boost in a clients self-confidence as they walk out feeling refreshed. Massages are one of the most popular services requested by Residents, and The Day Spa offers a wide menu of options, including hot stone and aromatherapy. Emily Ransing, Willow Valley Communities Day Spa Massage Therapist, says, Massage is meant to enhance your well-being physically and mentally. I frequently remind my clients that this is their time to focus on themselves to feel healthier. I do all I can to send each client home feeling better than when they arrived. A Willow Valley Communities Resident was asked about her massage as she was leaving The Day Spa one afternoon. She said, After a massage with Emily, your body is so relaxed that you can focus on the things that you often overlook the air is sweeter, the birds are more melodious, the day is brighter. You are better equipped to face the next days, whatever they may bring. As she walked out of the Cultural Center to her car, she added with a smile, Its also a way to take the tension out of your body although theres not much tension at Willow Valley Communities!
Learn how Minnesota family members may be able to receive payment for caring for an aging parent through self-directed care and how PICS helps families manage the process. For many Minnesota families, caring for an aging parent begins gradually.Maybe you start by picking up groceries once a week. Then you begin driving Mom to medical appointments, organizing medications or helping with laundry. Before long, you may be preparing meals, helping with personal care, checking in every day and rearranging your own work schedule around your parent's needs.At some point, many families ask an important question:Can a family member actually get paid for providing this care?In Minnesota, the answer may be yes.Depending on your loved one's needs, financial eligibility and the program they qualify for, certain self-directed care programs can allow family members or other trusted individuals to be paid for providing approved caregiving services.For families trying to help an older adult remain safely at home, understanding these options can make a significant difference.What Is Self-Directed Care?Traditional home care usually involves an agency hiring caregivers and determining who will provide services.Self-directed care works differently.It gives the person receiving services or an authorized representative greater control over how care is provided. Depending on the program, participants may be able to select their caregivers, help determine schedules and decide how approved funds are used to meet their individual needs.That caregiver might be someone the older adult already knows and trusts.In some situations, it can be an adult child, grandchild, spouse, other relative, friend or neighbor.For an older adult who wants to remain in familiar surroundings, receiving help from someone they already know can provide both practical assistance and peace of mind.Minnesota Programs Can Help Seniors Remain at HomeMinnesota offers several programs designed to help eligible older adults and people with disabilities receive services in their homes and communities rather than moving into institutional care.One important option is Consumer Directed Community Supports (CDCS).CDCS is available through certain Minnesota Home and Community-Based Services waiver programs. It allows participants to develop an individualized plan for using an approved budget to support their independence at home and in the community.For adults age 65 and older, CDCS may be available through programs such as Minnesota's Elderly Waiver (EW) and Alternative Care (AC) programs.Both EW and AC are designed for adults 65 and older who meet a nursing-home level of care but want to continue living in their homes and communities.Depending upon the individual's approved plan, services may include caregiving, homemaking, meals, respite, transportation, personal emergency response systems, chore services, certain home modifications and other supports.Most importantly for many families, CDCS may allow approved funds to be used to pay certain family members or other trusted individuals for caregiving.Could an Adult Child Be Paid to Care for a Parent?Potentially, yes.Under CDCS, approved caregivers can include adult children and grandchildren who provide care for an aging family member. Other trusted people, including friends and neighbors, may also be eligible to become paid caregivers.Spouses may also be able to provide paid caregiving under applicable self-directed programs, although specific rules depend on the program and circumstances.Another Minnesota program families may encounter is Community First Services and Supports (CFSS).CFSS is Minnesota's newer home-care program that is replacing Personal Care Assistance (PCA) and Consumer Support Grant (CSG) services as participants transition through their annual assessments.CFSS provides additional self-directed options, and under certain circumstances spouses can provide paid caregiving services.Because every person's eligibility and service plan are different, families should not assume that caregiving will automatically qualify for payment. An assessment and approved service plan are required.Why Paying Family Caregivers Can MatterFamily caregivers often provide an enormous amount of unpaid assistance.A daughter may reduce her hours at work so she can help her father several afternoons each week. A son may drive across town every morning to prepare breakfast and make sure medications are taken. A spouse may spend much of the day helping with dressing, bathing, meals and mobility.Families frequently do these things because they love the person they're caring for.But caregiving also has a financial impact.Work hours may be reduced. Careers can be interrupted. Transportation costs increase. Caregivers may find themselves balancing their own children, household responsibilities and finances while also caring for an aging parent.When an eligible program allows a family member to become a paid caregiver, it recognizes that caregiving is real work.It can also make it more realistic for a family to continue supporting a loved one at home.Where Does PICS Fit Into This?This is where PICS Partners in Community Supports can help.PICS is a Minnesota nonprofit organization and a subsidiary of Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota. It has provided self-directed care support to Minnesota individuals and families since 1999.PICS serves as a Financial Management Service (FMS) provider.That sounds complicated, but the idea is fairly simple.When a family chooses a self-directed program, someone still needs to handle the administrative and financial responsibilities associated with employing caregivers and using government-approved funds.PICS helps participants with responsibilities such as:Hiring and staffingProcessing caregiver payrollProcessing approved expense reimbursementsAccounting and financial reportingTax and revenue informationBudget trackingTraining and other employment-related requirementsInstead of families trying to figure out payroll, taxes, reporting requirements and reimbursement procedures themselves, PICS helps manage those details.That allows families to spend more time focused on what matters most supporting the person they love.Choice Can Be an Important Part of Aging in PlaceFor many older adults, remaining at home isn't simply about staying in a particular house.It's about maintaining independence, routine, dignity and connection to their community.Being able to choose who comes into the home can be especially important.Some seniors may be uncomfortable having an unfamiliar caregiver assist with personal tasks. Others may have language, cultural or communication preferences. And some simply feel safer receiving help from someone they've known for years.Self-directed services can give eligible individuals more control over these decisions.Instead of fitting the person into a predetermined care arrangement, the goal is to build supports around the person's individual needs.How Does a Minnesota Family Get Started?The first step is determining whether the person needing care qualifies for an applicable Minnesota program.For older adults, this may involve eligibility for Minnesota Medical Assistance and the Elderly Waiver or determining whether the individual qualifies for the Alternative Care program.An assessment is generally required to determine the person's needs and eligibility.Families can begin by contacting their county or Minnesota's Senior LinkAge Line to learn about available programs and the assessment process.If a self-directed program such as CDCS or CFSS is appropriate, the participant will work with the necessary care professionals to develop an approved service plan and select service providers.PICS can then help families navigate the financial-management side of self-directed services.Don't Assume Your Family Doesn't QualifyOne of the biggest mistakes families can make is assuming these programs aren't available to them.If you're already spending significant time caring for a parent, spouse or other loved one, it is worth asking what Minnesota programs may be available.You may discover options that help your loved one remain at home while providing additional support for the people who are already helping them.Every situation is different, and eligibility is never automatic. But asking the question is an important first step.Frequently Asked QuestionsCan I get paid to take care of my elderly parent in Minnesota?Possibly. Certain Minnesota self-directed programs may allow eligible family members, including adult children, to be paid for approved caregiving services. The person receiving care must qualify for the applicable program, and the services must be part of an approved plan.Can a senior choose his or her own caregiver?Self-directed programs are designed to give participants greater choice and control over their services. Depending on the program, participants may be able to select family members, friends or other trusted individuals as caregivers.Does PICS determine whether my parent qualifies for Medicaid or an Elderly Waiver?No. Program eligibility is determined through Minnesota's applicable state, county and assessment processes. PICS serves as a Financial Management Service provider for people participating in eligible self-directed programs.What does PICS do once a family is enrolled?Depending upon the program, PICS can assist with caregiver hiring and staffing, payroll, reimbursements, accounting, reporting, taxes, training and budget management.Where can families learn more?Minnesota families interested in self-directed care can contact their county, Senior LinkAge Line or appropriate care coordinator to learn about eligibility and available programs. Families can also contact PICS to learn more about the self-directed programs and Financial Management Services they support.More Choice. More Support. More Independence.Caring for an aging loved one can be rewarding, but it can also require an enormous commitment of time, energy and financial resources.Minnesota families may have more options than they realize.For eligible older adults, self-directed care can provide greater choice over who provides assistance and how approved services are delivered. For family caregivers, it may also create an opportunity to receive compensation for caregiving they are already providing.PICS Partners in Community Supports helps Minnesota families manage the financial and administrative details of self-directed care so they can focus on helping their loved ones live safely and independently at home.Learn more about PICS and explore resources for Minnesota seniors and caregivers through Seniors Blue Book. For more information contact us at 888.874.7427 or visit our website at https://pics.lssmn.org/
Personal CareServices OfferedAt BrightStar Care of Salt Lake City East, personal care services include:Personal safetyhome evaluationOutpatient pre- and post-op careFeedingOral and personal hygieneBathingToiletingAmbulationDressing and groomingExpertise with Alzheimers care memory loss, confusionReporting conditions and changes to supervisory RN and/or physicianSenior Companion Home Care ServicesAt BrightStar Care, we have a unique understanding of the issues todays families face, struggling more and more to find time for even the most basic activities amid ever-busier lives. Finding experienced and compassionate caregivers can be a challenge butit doesnt have to be.Our Companion Care servicesOur elderly companion services focus on improving the health and wellbeing of those entrusted to our care and our clients count on us for outstanding care and just about anything else they need, anytime, anywhere so they and their loved ones can get the most out of life.Adult and elderly home companion visitsAssist with writing letters and correspondenceHelp to connect with loved ones through e-mail andsocial mediaExpectant and newmother supportEngage instimulating activitiessuch as art projects and readingSchedule assistanceRespite and family reliefSitter servicesOur senior companion professionalsOurqualified, compassionate caregiversgo above and beyond to make more possible more support, more joy, more laughter in the lives of those we serve by truly engaging those in our care on an individual level. Our companion care services include comprehensive, around-the-clock support for anyone of any age who needs it. Whether its providinghome supportby helping with laundry, light housekeeping and meal planning and cooking, our caregivers are willing to give more of themselves to their work. BrightStar Care care professionals can also provideoutside support, like helping with shopping and errands, adult andsenior transportationto and from doctor appointments and social events in addition to providing travel companionship and more. We strive each and every day to get to know our clients to plan activities that will be both stimulating and enjoyable. Perhaps family and friends live far away, or you just need some relief from caring for a loved one fromrespite careto even the most basic, peer-level companionship, adult and senior assistance, ourcompassionate caregiversgo above and beyond to deliver upon our commitment to providing A Higher Standard of Care for those in our care.Trained, insured and bondedBrightStar Care caregivers will plan activities that will be both stimulating and enjoyable. We can provide any level of companionship you desire to achieve a quality of life you need.
Healthcare staffing is about more than just having the number of people you need. Its about having access to the people you wantdedicated, experienced professionals of the highest quality. No one understands this more than BrightStar Care of Salt Lake City East. BrightStar Care provides medical staffing solutions featuring the best qualified and most compassionate care professionals. Our commitment to a Higher Standard of Medical Staffing means you have a partner you can trust to provide quality care and the people you need. We provide personnel to hospitals, nursing homes, doctors offices, labs and anywhere healthcare staff is needed. Our nurses and caregivers pass in-depth screening, license verification, and background checks, and receive ongoing training.
Personal CareServices OfferedPersonal safetyhome evaluationOutpatient pre- and post-op careFeedingOral and personal hygieneBathingToiletingAmbulationDressing and groomingExpertise with Alzheimers care memory loss, confusionReporting conditions and changes to supervisory RN and/or physicianSenior Companion Home Care ServicesAt BrightStar Care, we have a unique understanding of the issues todays families face, struggling more and more to find time for even the most basic activities amid ever-busier lives. Finding experienced and compassionate caregivers can be a challenge butit doesnt have to be.Our Companion Care servicesOur elderly companion services focus on improving the health and wellbeing of those entrusted to our care and our clients count on us for outstanding care and just about anything else they need, anytime, anywhere so they and their loved ones can get the most out of life.Adult and elderly home companion visitsAssist with writing letters and correspondenceHelp to connect with loved ones through e-mail andsocial mediaExpectant and newmother supportEngage instimulating activitiessuch as art projects and readingSchedule assistanceRespite and family reliefSitter servicesOur senior companion professionalsOurqualified, compassionate caregiversgo above and beyond to make more possible more support, more joy, more laughter in the lives of those we serve by truly engaging those in our care on an individual level. Our companion care services include comprehensive, around-the-clock support for anyone of any age who needs it. Whether its providinghome supportby helping with laundry, light housekeeping and meal planning and cooking, our caregivers are willing to give more of themselves to their work. BrightStar Care care professionals can also provideoutside support, like helping with shopping and errands, adult andsenior transportationto and from doctor appointments and social events in addition to providing travel companionship and more. We strive each and every day to get to know our clients to plan activities that will be both stimulating and enjoyable. Perhaps family and friends live far away, or you just need some relief from caring for a loved one fromrespite careto even the most basic, peer-level companionship, adult and senior assistance, ourcompassionate caregiversgo above and beyond to deliver upon our commitment to providing A Higher Standard of Care for those in our care.Trained, insured and bondedBrightStar Care caregivers will plan activities that will be both stimulating and enjoyable. We can provide any level of companionship you desire to achieve a quality of life you need.